Hitting directly on my poor puss
HEE'S MOAN.
imagine him moaning in your ear. gosh, 'm sorry but hearing this makes me w3t đ
JAY / 230427 live
OKAY- THIS?! THIS??? YES THIS!!!
Lilyy hiii, how are you. You got some thoughts about this, sooo subby looking hee?
-đ§
omgomgomgomgogmgomgomg i didnât realize how empty my life was till i saw these pics of hee omg
hi! iâm much better after seeing these, ty <3
heâs giving âpay attention to me, mommyâ vibes :(
him kneeling in front of you while your working on something at your desk. resting his chin on your thighs as he looks up at you with an innocent pout while his hands rub up and down your calves. âyouâve been working so hard, i feel like youâve forgotten about me :( i need you mommyâ as he punctuates his sentence with his hips rutting against your leg, his hard length throbbing beneath his pants. his goal was to tease you, but the whine that escaped him when his clothed cock made contact with your skin betrayed him. his head lulls to lay fully on your lap as he mouths at your inner thighs, murmuring âsorryâ over and over again as he desperately thrusts against you, losing himself to the pleasure
subby pathetic men <33 ahem totally not thinking of hee...
Jujutsu Kaisen Cafe 2024 'Shibuya Incident' will open October 31st, 2024
You think true love exists? Soulmates?
i do believe i have a soulmate. but sometimes he says something like "i wonder how many twix bars i can fit in my mouth at once" and i start to question my whole existence.
Imma use these for academics too
Appetite:
craving, demand, gluttony, greed, hunger, inclination, insatiable, longing, lust, passion, ravenousness, relish, taste, thirst, urge, voracity, weakness, willingness, yearning, ardor, dedication, desire, devotion, enthusiasm, excitement, fervor, horny, intensity, keenness, wholeheartedness, zeal
Arouse:
agitate, awaken, electrify, enliven, excite, entice, foment, goad, incite, inflame, instigate, kindle, provoke, rally, rouse, spark, stimulate, stir, thrill, waken, warm, whet, attract, charm, coax, fire up, fuel, heat up, lure, produce, stir up, tantalize, tease, tempt, thrum, torment, wind up, work up
Assault:
attack, advancing, aggressive, assailing, charging, incursion, inundated, invasion, offensive, onset, onslaught, overwhelmed, ruinous, tempestuous, strike, violation, ambush, assail, barrage, bombard, bombardment, crackdown, wound
Beautiful:Â
admirable, alluring, angelic, appealing, bewitching, charming, dazzling, delicate, delightful, divine, elegant, enticing, exquisite, fascinating, gorgeous, graceful, grand, magnificent, marvelous, pleasing, radiant, ravishing, resplendent, splendid, stunning, sublime, attractive, beguiling, captivating, enchanting, engaging, enthralling, eye-catching, fetching, fine, fine-looking, good-looking, handsome, inviting, lovely, mesmeric, mesmerizing, pretty, rakish, refined, striking, tantalizing, tempting
Brutal:
atrocious, barbarous, bloodthirsty, callous, cruel, feral, ferocious, hard, harsh, heartless, inhuman, merciless, murderous, pitiless, remorseless, rough, rude, ruthless, savage, severe, terrible, unmerciful, vicious, bestial, brute, brutish, cold-blooded, fierce, gory, nasty, rancorous, sadistic, uncompromising, unfeeling, unforgiving, unpitying, violent, wild
Burly:
able-bodied, athletic, beefy, big, brawny, broad-shouldered, bulky, dense, enormous, great, hard, hardy, hearty, heavily built, heavy, hefty, huge, husky, immense, large, massive, muscular, mighty, outsized, oversized, powerful, powerfully built, prodigious, robust, solid, stalwart, stocky, stout, strapping, strong, strongly built, sturdy, thick, thickset, tough, well-built, well-developed
Carnal:
animalistic, bodily, impure, lascivious, lecherous, lewd, libidinous, licentious, lustful, physical, prurient, salacious, sensuous, voluptuous, vulgar, wanton, , coarse, crude, dirty, raunchy, rough, unclean
Dangerous:
alarming, critical, fatal, formidable, impending, malignant, menacing, mortal, nasty, perilous, precarious, pressing, serious, terrible, threatening, treacherous, urgent, vulnerable, wicked, acute, damaging, deadly, death-defying, deathly, destructive, detrimental, explosive, grave, harmful, hazardous, injurious, lethal, life-threatening, noxious, poisonous, risky, severe, terrifying, toxic, unsafe, unstable, venomous
Dark:
atrocious, corrupt, forbidding, foul, infernal, midnight, morbid, ominous, sinful, sinister, somber, threatening, twilight, vile, wicked, abject, alarming, appalling, baleful, bizarre, bleak, bloodcurdling, boding evil, chilling, cold, condemned, creepy, damned, daunting, demented, desolate, dire, dismal, disturbing, doomed, dour, dread, dreary, dusk, eerie, fear, fearsome, frightening, ghastly, ghostly, ghoulish, gloom, gloomy, grave, grim, grisly, gruesome, hair-raising, haunted, hideous, hopeless, horrendous, horrible, horrid, horrific, horrifying, horror, ill-fated, ill-omened, ill-starred, inauspicious, inhospitable, looming, lost, macabre, malice, malignant, menacing, murky, mysterious, night, panic, pessimistic, petrifying, scary, shadows, shadowy, shade, shady, shocking, soul-destroying, sour, spine-chilling, spine-tingling, strange, terrifying, uncanny, unearthly, unlucky, unnatural, unnerving, weird, wretched
Delicious:
enticing, exquisite, luscious, lush, rich, savory, sweet, tasty, tempting, appetizing, delectable, flavorsome, full of flavor, juicy, lip-smacking, mouth-watering, piquant, relish, ripe, salty, spicy, scrummy, scrumptious, succulent, tangy, tart, tasty, yummy, zesty
Ecstasy:
delectation, delirium, elation, euphoria, fervor, frenzy, joy, rapture, transport, bliss, excitement, happiness, heaven, high, paradise, rhapsody, thrill, blissful, delighted, elated, extremely happy, in raptures (of delight), in seventh heaven, jubilant, on cloud nine, overexcited, overjoyed, rapturous, thrilled
Ecstatic:
delirious, enraptured, euphoric, fervent, frenzied, joyous, transported, wild
Erotic:
amatory, amorous, aphrodisiac, carnal, earthy, erogenous, fervid, filthy, hot, impassioned, lascivious, lecherous, lewd, raw, romantic, rousing, salacious, seductive, sensual, sexual, spicy, steamy, stimulating, suggestive, titillating, voluptuous, tantalizing
Gasp:
catch of breath, choke, gulp, heave, inhale, pant, puff, snort, wheeze, huff, rasp, sharp intake of air, short of breath, struggle for breath, swallow, windedÂ
Heated:
ardent, avid, excited, fervent, fervid, fierce, fiery, frenzied, furious, impassioned, intense, passionate, raging, scalding, scorched, stormy, tempestuous, vehement, violent, ablaze, aflame, all-consuming, blazing, blistering, burning, crazed, explosive, febrile, feverish, fired up, flaming, flushed, frantic, hot, hot-blooded, impatient, incensed, maddening, obsessed, possessed, randy, searing, sizzling, smoldering, sweltering, torrid, turbulent, volatile, worked up, zealous
Hunger:
appetite, ache, craving, gluttony, greed, longing, lust, mania, mouth-watering, ravenous, voracious, want, yearning, thirst
Hungry:
avid, carnivorous, covetous, craving, eager, greedy, hungered, rapacious, ravenous, starved, unsatisfied, voracious, avaricious, desirous, famished, grasping, insatiable, keen, longing, predatory, ravening, starving, thirsty, wanting
Intense:
forceful, severe, passionate, acute, agonizing, ardent, anxious, biting, bitter, burning, close, consuming, cutting, deep, eager, earnest, excessive, exquisite, extreme, fervent, fervid, fierce, forcible, great, harsh, impassioned, keen, marked, piercing, powerful, profound, severe, sharp, strong, vehement, violent, vivid, vigorous
Liquid:
damp, cream, creamy, dripping, ichorous, juicy, moist, luscious, melted, moist, pulpy, sappy, soaking, solvent, sopping, succulent, viscous, wet / aqueous, broth, elixir, extract, flux, juice, liquor, nectar, sap, sauce, secretion, solution, vitae, awash, moisture, boggy, dewy, drenched, drip, drop, droplet, drowning, flood, flooded, flowing, fountain, jewel, leaky, milky, overflowing, saturated, slick, slippery, soaked, sodden, soggy, stream, swamp, tear, teardrop, torrent, waterlogged, watery, weeping
Lithe:
agile, lean, pliant, slight, spare, sinewy, slender, supple, deft, fit, flexible, lanky, leggy, limber, lissom, lissome, nimble, sinuous, skinny, sleek, slender, slim, svelte, trim, thin, willowy, wiry
Moan:
beef, cry, gripe, grouse, grumble, lament, lamentation, plaint, sob, wail, whine, bemoan, bewail, carp, deplore, grieve, gripe, grouse, grumble, keen, lament, sigh, sob, wail, whine, mewl
Moving:
(exciting,) affecting, effective arousing, awakening, breathless, dynamic, eloquent, emotional, emotive, expressive, fecund, far-out, felt in gut, grabbed by, gripping, heartbreaking, heartrending, impelling, impressive, inspirational, meaningful, mind-bending, mind-blowing, motivating, persuasive, poignant, propelling, provoking, quickening, rallying, rousing, significant, stimulating, simulative, stirring, stunning, touching, awe-inspiring, energizing, exhilarating, fascinating, heart pounding, heart stopping, inspiring, riveting, thrilling
Need:
compulsion, demand, desperate, devoir, extremity, impatient longing, must, urge, urgency / desire, appetite, avid, burn, craving, eagerness, fascination, greed, hunger, insatiable, longing, lust, taste, thirst, voracious, want, yearning, ache, addiction, aspiration, desire, fever, fixation, hankering, hope, impulse, inclination, infatuation, itch, obsession, passion, pining, wish, yen
Pain:Â
ache, afflict, affliction, agony, agonize, anguish, bite, burn, chafe, distress, fever, grief, hurt, inflame, laceration, misery, pang, punish, sting, suffering, tenderness, throb, throe, torment, torture, smart
Painful:
aching, agonizing, arduous, awful, biting, burning, caustic, dire, distressing, dreadful, excruciating, extreme, grievous, inflamed, piercing, raw, sensitive, severe, sharp, tender, terrible, throbbing, tormenting, angry, bleeding, bloody, bruised, cutting, hurting, injured, irritated, prickly, skinned, smarting, sore, stinging, unbearable, uncomfortable, upsetting, wounded
Perverted:Â
aberrant, abnormal, corrupt, debased, debauched, defiling, depraved, deviant, monstrous, tainted, twisted, vicious, warped, wicked, abhorrent, base, decadent, degenerate, degrading, dirty, disgusting, dissipated, dissolute, distasteful, hedonistic, immodest, immoral, indecent, indulgent, licentious, nasty, profligate, repellent, repugnant, repulsive, revolting, shameful, shameless, sickening, sinful, smutty, sordid, unscrupulous, vileÂ
Pleasurable:
charming, gratifying, luscious, satisfying, savory, agreeable, delicious, delightful, enjoyable, nice, pleasant, pleasing, soothing, succulent
Pleasure:
bliss, delight, gluttony, gratification, relish, satisfaction, thrill, adventure, amusement, buzz, contentment, delight, desire, ecstasy, enjoyment, excitement, fun, happiness, harmony, heaven, joy, kick, liking, paradise, seventh heavenÂ
Rapacious:
avaricious, ferocious, furious, greedy, predatory, ravening, ravenous, savage, voracious, aggressive, gluttonous, grasping, insatiable, marauding, plundering
Rapture:
bliss, ecstasy, elation, exaltation, glory, gratification, passion, pleasure, floating, unbridled joy
Rigid:
adamant, austere, definite, determined, exact, firm, hard, rigorous, solid, stern, uncompromising, unrelenting, unyielding, concrete, fixed, harsh, immovable, inflexible, obstinate, resolute, resolved, severe, steadfast, steady, stiff, strong, strict, stubborn, taut, tense, tight, tough, unbending, unchangeable, unwavering
Sudden:
abrupt, accelerated, acute, fast, flashing, fleeting, hasty, headlong, hurried, immediate, impetuous, impulsive, quick, quickening, rapid, rash, rushing, swift, brash, brisk, brusque, instant, instantaneous, out of the blue, reckless, rushed, sharp, spontaneous, urgent, without warning
Thrust:
(forward) advance, drive, forge, impetus, impulsion, lunge, momentum, onslaught, poke, pressure, prod, propulsion, punch, push, shove, power, proceed, progress, propel
(push hard) assail, assault, attack, bear down, buck, drive, force, heave, impale, impel, jab, lunge, plunge, press, pound, prod, ram, shove, stab, transfix, urge, bang, burrow, cram, gouge, jam, pierce, punch, slam, spear, spike, stick
Thunder-struck:
amazed, astonished, aghast, astounded, awestruck, confounded, dazed, dazed, dismayed, overwhelmed, shocked, staggered, startled, stunned, gob-smacked, bewildered, dumbfounded, flabbergasted, horrified, incredulous, surprised, taken abackÂ
Torment:
agony, anguish, hurt, misery, pain, punishment, suffering, afflict, angst, conflict, distress, grief, heartache, misfortune, nightmare, persecute, plague, sorrow, strife, tease, test, trial, tribulation, torture, turmoil, vex, woe
Touch:
(physical) - blow, brush, caress, collide, come together, contact, converge, crash, cuddle, embrace, feel, feel up, finger, fondle, frisk, glance, glide, graze, grope, handle, hit, hug, impact, join, junction, kiss, lick, line, manipulate, march, massage, meet, nudge, palm, partake, pat, paw, peck, pet, pinch, probe, push, reach, rub, scratch, skim, slide, smooth, strike, stroke, suck, sweep, tag, tap, taste, thumb, tickle, tip, touching, toy, bite, bump, burrow, buss, bury, circle, claw, clean, clutch, cover, creep, crush, cup, curl, delve, dig, drag, draw, ease, edge, fiddle with, flick, flit, fumble, grind, grip, grub, hold, huddle, knead, lap, lave, lay a hand on, maneuver, manhandle, mash, mold, muzzle, neck, nestle, nibble, nip, nuzzle, outline, play, polish, press, pull, rasp, ravish, ream, rim, run, scoop, scrabble, scrape, scrub, shave, shift, shunt, skate, slip, slither, smack, snake, snuggle, soothe, spank, splay, spread, squeeze, stretch, swipe, tangle, tease, thump, tongue, trace, trail, tunnel twiddle, twirl, twist, tug, work, wrapÂ
(mental) - communicate, examine, inspect, perception, scrutinize
Wet:
bathe, bleed, burst, cascade, course, cover, cream, damp, dampen, deluge, dip, douse, drench, dribble, drip, drizzle, drool, drop, drown, dunk, erupt, flood, flow, gush, immerse, issue, jet, leach, leak, moisten, ooze, overflow, permeate, plunge, pour, rain, rinse, run, salivate, saturate, secrete, seep, shower, shoot, slaver, slobber, slop, slosh, sluice, spill, soak, souse, spew, spit, splash, splatter, spout, spray, sprinkle, spurt, squirt, steep, stream, submerge, surge, swab, swamp, swill, swim, trickle, wash, water
Wicked:
abominable, amoral, atrocious, awful, base, barbarous, dangerous, debased, depraved, distressing, dreadful, evil, fearful, fiendish, fierce, foul, heartless, hazardous, heinous, immoral, indecent, intense, mean, nasty, naughty, nefarious, offensive, profane, scandalous, severe, shameful, shameless, sinful, terrible, unholy, vicious, vile, villainous, wayward, bad, criminal, cruel, deplorable, despicable, devious, ill-intentioned, impious, impish, iniquitous, irreverent, loathsome, Machiavellian, mad, malevolent, malicious, merciless, mischievous, monstrous, perverse, ruthless, spiteful, uncaring, unkind, unscrupulous, vindictive, virulent, wretched
Writhe:Â
agonize, bend, jerk, recoil, lurch, plunge, slither, squirm, struggle, suffer, thrash, thresh, twist, wiggle, wriggle, angle, arc, bow, buck, coil, contort, convulse, curl, curve, fidget, fight, flex, go into spasm, grind, heave, jiggle, jolt, kick, rear, reel, ripple, resist, roll, lash, lash out, screw up, shake, shift, slide, spasm, stir, strain, stretch, surge, swell, swivel, thrust, turn violently, tussle, twitch, undulate, warp, worm, wrench, wrestle, yankÂ
like father like son
heeseung x reader | smut, fluff, angst, PWP lol | roommate + best friend's brother!heeseung
⤠summary : at first, you cursed lee hana for ditching your roomies-forever contract, but now you want to thank her for having such a great idea for her hot brother to move in as her replacement... just as long as she doesn't find out you think he's hot.
⤠includes : warning!cuddling!!!, also masturbating, unprotected sex, fingering, praise, breeding kink ;)
⤠word count : 15.7k (jesus)
minors DNI!!!!
taglist : @iamliacamila @m3chigo @jaylaxies @stellarpsh @noonareads @xrvrqs @enmayz @enhastolemyheart @notevenheretbh1 @jjhmk @heyitsbush @ipoststuffandyeah @seokseokjinkim @capri-cuntz @parksunghoonsgf @hoyeonheeseung @erehkinnie30 @niniissus @janehrt @jenojammin @heerated @luvjongseong @wonniewonwon @loveyrovey @page-odette @slay-you-slay-all-day
lee hana was the best friend you could ever ask for.Â
when you met during freshman year of college you knew that you would be best friends forever. she was the missing piece that you were missing in a lot of ways. so, when she asked if you wanted to find a place to rent together you couldnât possibly turn her down.Â
you decorated the apartment you found so that it could be deemed as âyour shared homeâ. parts of you both were mangled around the apartment, wherever you looked there were pieces of each other somewhere. hanaâs favourite photography works sheâs taken, your ugly wool throw blankets that you insisted on having and both of your dirty dishes piling up in the sink because you both hated doing dishes.Â
 though, you both lived wonderfully together. you managed to cook almost everyday regular meals that were somewhat healthy and made sure the other one was getting to class on time. you figured that you would continue to live with her for the rest of your early-mid twenties.Â
until she got a boyfriend.Â
donât get it wrong, you loved jay; but you despised him for taking away your perfect roommate.Â
you were worried at first when hana sat you down and told you sheâd be moving out by the end of the month. her and jay had decided to take their relationship further and she agreed to move into his apartment with him. you knew that your lease wouldnât end until the rest of the year, meaning that you would have to pay the rent for two people even though itâd be only you living here. which, you did not have the money for as a broke college student.Â
âbut donât worry!â hana smiled at you from her spot on the couch when she broke the news, âiâve found you another roommate who is just like me! so there wonât be any problems.âÂ
you sigh, because there are usually always problems if hana isnât involved. meaning, you will most definitely hate your new roommate, hanaâs replacement.Â
âdonât sigh like that y/n!â hana smacks your shoulder, âheâs seriously a perfect mix of you and i, youâll like him.âÂ
âhim?!â you exclaim, shaking your head no to the fact that you will have to live with a boy.Â
ây/n, just give him a chance! you havenât even met him yet!âÂ
you glare at your best friend and soon-to-be-ex-roommate with displeasure at the new information she was laying on you. âbut heâs a boy, hana! heâs gonna ruin our woman sanctuary here!âÂ
ây/n, i donât think this has been a woman sanctuary since weâve moved in,âÂ
âbut it could be, if you stay living here,âÂ
ây/n, i already told him he could have my room, I care about him a lot.â hana juts out her lips into a pout, her pretty features contorting into begging ones as she desires your approval.Â
âfine, but i want him to at least try to contain his man testosterone to one room,â you sigh, giving in to your best friend. her squeals reach your ears quickly as she leans over to pull you into a hug.Â
âyouâre gonna love him! you wonât even want me back as a roommate,â
âwho even is he?âÂ
âhis nameâs heeseung,âÂ
âheeseung?âÂ
âyeah,â hana shrugs casually, âmy brother.âÂ
âwhat?!â you exclaim at her again. you had never met her family before, both of you growing up in different states made it hard to meet each others. hana was usually private about her family, not talking much about them either way. you were aware that she had an older brother, but you would have never thought that you would come to live with him. âhana, what.âÂ
hana lets out her familiar roistering laugh at your shocked expression, âi told you he was just like me- and if heâs just like me then heâs just like you!âÂ
you pout, âweâll see about that.âÂ
you didnât meet lee heeseung until lee hana had officially moved out. he came unexpected, a knock on your door that you couldnât guess would be him.Â
it was the day after you sat on the kitchen stool, a pout on your face as you watched hana and jay take her boxes to the moving truck.Â
âcanât i just move in with you guys?â you whine out to them.Â
âaw, y/n,â hana comes over to you, cupping your cheeks harshly together. âno.â you let out a hmph at her response, making her let out her obnoxious laugh. âiâm still going to see you!â
âyeah, i know, but it wonât be the same,â you shake your head at her.Â
though you were happy for hana, it was still hard to believe that you would never be roommates again with her. jay and her made the perfect match, so part of you knew this day would come. the day that you would no longer be able to refer to lee hana as your roommate. so the final goodbye as roommates was bittersweet when hana and her cinnamon scent left the apartment that she no longer called her home. the apartment had an echo to it that night, when you were cooking dinner by yourself- for yourself.Â
hana had texted you that she had forgotten a few boxes in her closet, therefore when there was knocking on the door at 8am the next day you figured it was her. you swung open the door, dressed in your loose sweatpants and tank top, ready to tease her for coming back so soon. Â
you were not expecting to open the door to see an ethereal man.Â
his warm brown, deer-like eyes were relaxed as they met your surprised ones. his said eyes wandered down your body, stopping to stare at your exposed lower stomach from your sweatpants sitting low on your hips. you felt your neck gush with heat as you attempted to pull down your tanktop when you realized where his eyes had been stranded.Â
âhi, you must be y/n,â he spoke first, his voice as warm as his eyes.Â
âuh, yes?â you respond curiously, your mind still flowing with sleep from waking up seconds before.Â
the boy raised a singular key on a chain in front of your face, âiâm heeseung- hana gave me the key but i figured i would knock first anyways.âÂ
âhee- heeseung, right, um,âÂ
âso, can i come in?â heeseung smiled at your shocked demeanor.Â
âyes! um, of course, sorry- i just woke up.â you mentally cursed yourself for being so bewildered.Â
your new roommate stepped in and stopped in the middle of the living room. looking over the place from top to bottom. his eyes were going over every nook and cranny that he could possibly see. when he figured he had seen enough, he turned back to you at the open door and said, âitâs nice in here- really nice.âÂ
âthanks,â you stated, curious about where he was taking this.Â
âiâll try to keep my man testosterone to my room so it doesnât ruin what youâve got going on here.â your jaw dropped at his words, not believing that hana couldâve told him that you said that.Â
âlook, i didnât-â you started, trying to explain yourself so your new roommate doesnât hate you completely.Â
his laugh that is a lot quieter than hanaâs, considering that theyâre related, rings out in the apartment. you paused for a second to think that maybe you could get used to hearing his laugh instead. âitâs alright, donât worry about it.âÂ
âno, really, sometimes i just-,âÂ
âitâs alright, hana gave me some pre-move in roommate tips, i got you.âÂ
your demeanor changes as you cross your arms over your chest at the news, âoh did she?â heeseung gives a faint noise of confirmation as he scans the old couch you and hana picked up on the side of the street two years ago, âand what was one of those tips.âÂ
âhm, that you must have green tea every morning before you can do anything else.â he smiles cheesily at you, âwhich i think we should get on doing so youâre down to help bring in all my shit.âÂ
sure enough, you got your cup of green tea, showing heeseung around the kitchen as you did so. he sat at the kitchen stool where you sat yesterday, watching the other lee sibling move all her belongings out. you tried to tell yourself to calm down as he sat behind you, out of your view. you were not used to having a good looking boy in your apartment. you were glad that you slipped into your room to get a hoodie on before reaching the kitchen for that cup of tea.Â
âsorry itâs a mess in here, i didnât know you were moving in today,â you spoke with your back still to him.Â
âreally? hana told me that she told you i was coming,âÂ
you scoff, âof course she did. she always forgets to do as she says.âÂ
a knowing smile crawls onto heeseungâs pretty face, a smile that seems to be the only thing that gives away heâs related to hana, âi know; i shouldnât have trusted her this morning.â
âshe also didnât tell me that it was her older brother moving in,â you joke, turning around now with a hot cup of tea in your hand. when he lets out a shocked expression you continue, âi knew she had an older brother, but she never told me your name.âÂ
heeseung shrugs, âyeah, weâre private like that- i donât think many of my friends have met hana either.âÂ
âwhy not?â
âi donât know, weâre just like that.âÂ
you set down your now empty cup, feeling refreshed as the hot tea settles in your stomach. âright, letâs go get your man testosterone shit.âÂ
heeseung follows you out of your now shared apartment, smiling to himself as you complain about becoming his personal mover.Â
with lee heeseungâs belongings finally all brought into your now shared apartment, you couldnât help but compare his scent to his sisters. it was similar in a way, the cinnamon wisp of hanaâs you became familiar with circled around heeseung, but there was a mix of something sweet along with it.Â
the boy didnât have too many things. a big computer set, a few boxes of clothes and a ton of cdâs. hanaâs old bookshelf seemed to suit heeseungâs cd collection easily as there was just enough room for them all to be lined up by genre. you could tell that the remnants of hana will no longer be in your apartment by the end of the day.Â
âi think i forgot another box of cdâs in my car,â heeseung said as you watched him unpack from the bedroomâs door frame you were leaning on. âiâll be right back.â he walks past you, a noise of acknowledgement coming from your throat.Â
with the front door closing and heeseungâs brown hair leaving sight behind it, your head turns to hanaâs now old room. heeseungâs clothes boxes are stacked up on his new bed. you wonder for a moment what other clothes he wears besides the gray sweats and black hoodie he has on today. then, drooping out of the farthest box on the bed, a white and black flannel catches your eye. before you know it your legs and feet have moved so youâre able to pick up the flannel. the fabric is soft and you instantly smell that sweet scent of heeseung surrounding you.Â
âi can put away my clothes myself, itâs okay.â heeseungâs voice speaks from behind you, making you jump and instantly drop the flannel from your hands, back into the box.Â
you turn to see him putting the last box of his cdâs onto his desk, his hoodie sleeves rolled up so you can see his smooth forearms now. âright, i know. sorry.âÂ
heeseung chuckles under his breath as he flips his bangs up out of his face and runs a hand through his hair, âno itâs okay, i just figured you wouldnât want to touch more of my man testosterone than you already have.âÂ
your lips purse at him, âyeah youâre right. i can already feel it growing on me.â you make so that your hands are trying to brush something off of you in disgust.Â
âwell how about you go wash it off in the shower while I make breakfast?â heeseung suggests with a playful smile on his pink lips.Â
âbreakfast?â you exclaim, your eyes wide.Â
âwell i would say it is around breakfast time, no?âÂ
âhana never made breakfast.âÂ
âwhat can i say? iâm the better roommate.âÂ
you crossed your arms over your chest, âdonât push it, heeseung.â you glare at him as you push past him to go to the bathroom. âand I like my eggs over-easy.âÂ
you hear heeseungâs soft laugh as you close the bathroom door.Â
not only did lee heeseung offer to cook breakfast, he is actually good at cooking. as soon as you walked out of the bathroom in clean clothes and the man testosterone on your skin properly washed off, you started drooling at the smell of food.Â
heeseung was standing over the stove, finishing up the last of the scrambled eggs he was making. the small kitchen table you and hana bought years ago was set up with plates and cutlery, some fruit, bacon and toast.Â
âheeseung, oh my god,.â you say in shock. you would have never imagined that your new roommate would have done something like this. .
heeseung turns with a pretty smile on his face, âsit down, the eggs are done now.âÂ
in your shocked state you managed to sit down in the chair heeseung motioned to as he filled up your plate with eggs. âwhy did you make all this?âÂ
heeseung shrugs as he set the empty frying pan in the sink and sits down across from you, âi mean you let me move in here without ever properly meeting me and then you helped me move in all my stuff, so i figured this was the least i could.â you stare at him in shock and heeseung lets out a quick, dry laugh, âwell are you gonna eat it or what?âÂ
âright! sorry!â you pick up your fork and start to dig in, âitâs just, i havenât had a breakfast like this in years.âÂ
âwhat do you usually have for breakfast then? besides green tea.âÂ
now you shrug, eyes practically closing from how good his food tastes, ânothing, pretty much.âÂ
heeseung rolls his eyes, âwell thatâs not good, weâll have to change that.âÂ
âif you make breakfast like this often then you and your man testosterone can stay here for as long as you like.â you point your fork at him with a knowing smile.Â
âor until the lease is up in december.âÂ
âright, or until then.âÂ
the mention that heeseung nor you wouldnât be living here together for more than four months suddenly leaves a pit in your stomach that his eggs couldnât manage to fill as you continue eating. heeseung has already been in your apartment for no more than four hours and you already could not imagine living with someone else.Â
besides their smiles, heeseung and hana seem to only have one other thing in common. which is their ability to get comfortable anywhere.Â
you had made sure to tell heeseung to make himself feel at home, since it is home now. at least it is for four months. you didnât want to be those awkward roommates that feel like they have to sneak around the apartment to not piss off the other roommate.Â
but, for a moment, you forgot who he was related to.Â
so, heeseung made himself comfortable really quickly. by the third week of living together he was already settled in and acting like he had owned the place for years.Â
you learnt quickly that heeseung really likes music. his cd collection taking over his room was the first sign of his passion. when he mentioned he is a dance major at your university, it was not that big of a shock to you. you also quickly caught on to him seemingly always having his earphones in, the white cord trailing from his ear to his phone he always carries with him.Â
you didnât mind heeseungâs obsession with music, in fact you found it interesting he could listen to music for so long without a stop. you didnât think it would ever be a bother to you.Â
except for now.Â
you are in your room trying to finish writing your qualification letter to the universityâs library so you could become a student librarian this year, which you procrastinated so much that you only have two days before the school year starts to hand it. it is like you are having a severe writer's block and could not think of why you should be the one with the librarian position. you love going to the library to study and to read, you spent your entire first year in the library so much that hana said you should just move in there. having this student librarian position would be good for your career as you wanted to become a teacher abroad.Â
you were getting frustrated at your lack of writing for this letter when you started to hear music coming from heeseungâs bedroom across the hall. it was loud and it was some aggressive heavy metal music. you take a breath and decide that itâs a sign that you need to take a break from this letter. you push your laptop to the side and lay down, covering your eyes with your arm draped over your face.Â
even with your eyes closed you can still see words going across your eyes, not being able to stop thinking about what you could possibly write in your letter. you lay there trying to think of something, anything, but everytime you think you get somewhere it seems to be stupid and then heeseungâs music fades into your ears again.Â
when youâve finally had enough of laying there, getting nowhere with your letter and heeseungâs music having no sign of stopping, you toss your sapphire sheet off of your legs and stand up, beelining it right to heeseungâs door. without a hesitation you knock on his door, and a second later the music stops and it opens.Â
heeseung stands in the doorway now, his brown bangs practically stuck to his forehead with sweat and his bambi eyes immediately looking down at your figure. his cheeks are flushed a red hue that almost matches the colour of his lips that are parted as he breathes. but you canât properly match the colour of his cheeks to his lips because you realize he is shirtless standing in front of you.Â
sweat droplets are trailing down his tanned skin like theyâre racing each other. his broad shoulders that you couldnât have stopped yourself from noticing weeks ago are now plain in sight for your eyes to drink in. his abdomen is full of muscles that move with his chest as he practically pants, trying to catch his breath in front of you.Â
âwhatâs up?â his voice successfully breaks you out of the trance you were somehow put in.Â
âuh,â you shake your head trying to grab onto all of the thoughts that were filling your head, âiâm trying to write my student librarian application letter and i canât focus because your music is too loud.â you try to sound as angry and frustrated as you were one minute ago, but your words only come out mediocre when you speak.Â
âoh shit, iâm sorry,â heeseungâs hand brushes his damp bangs out of his eyes, his face forming into a sorry expression as he looks down at you. âi was working out because the university gym isnât open yetâ iâll put my headphones in.âÂ
âright, okay.â you speak, trying to not focus on the way his muscles flexed in his arm when he pushed his bangs back.Â
âgood luck on your letter,â heeseung smiles at you and it triggers reality for you as you quickly back up and enter your own room.Â
âthanks.â you say to him, closing your bedroom door so youâre out of view of each other.Â
you hold onto the doorknob until you hear heeseungâs door click shut and you let out a breath of relief as your body laxes. you climb back into your sapphire sheets, thankful for the coolness of them that will bring down your flushed hot state.Â
when you realize your panties are damp against your skin, you make a pact to yourselfâ and to hanaâ that there is no possible way you will find your best friendâs brother hot.Â
you thought that when school started you would see less of heeseung than you did in the final days of summer, but it seemed that you only saw more of him. you would see him walk past you on campus, never failing to wave at you or call your name. you also learnt that heeseung has a bad habit of skipping classes. so he was home more than you were. the only classes he never skipped were his dance ones, that would go on for hours and leave him to be tired and sweaty when he comes home.Â
like tonight, you were sitting on the couch in the living room, your laptop warm on your lap as you typed away at your essay, telling yourself to write just a few more sentences. since you ended up getting the job as the student librarian, youâve had less time to do school work since youâve had to run around helping other students in the library. when the front door opens, a very tired looking heeseung walked in, his clothes practically falling off him from exhaustion.Â
âlong practice?â you ask him absentmindedly, still focusing on your essay.Â
âvery, long practice.â you hear him respond as the fridge door opens. you hear him shuffle around in the fridge before it closes and he tells you heâs gonna get in the shower.Â
the faint sound of the shower running starts and you forget that heeseung is even home as you continue to write your essay. when the bathroom door opens minutes later, you glance up at the time on your computer, seeing it approaching 9pm.Â
âwanna watch a movie?â heeseung asks from behind you.Â
you sigh, âi really wanna finish my essay, though.âÂ
heesung comes around the couch and sits on the other side, putting his feet up on the coffee table in front of it, âthatâs okay, right? you can do both. plus knowing you, youâve probably been working on it all day right?âÂ
âmaybe.âÂ
âwell then you need a break.âÂ
âbut iâm almost done, just a few more paragraphs.â you jut out your bottom lip as you look at him for the first time. his hair is wet and itâs falling into his eyes. the sight instantly makes you remember the working-out incident from a few weeks ago and you tighten your thighs together at the mere thought of it.Â
âcâmon, watch a movie with me, y/n.â he begs you, âplease.â before you can say no heâs reaching over and taking your laptop out of your hands.Â
âheeseung!â you whine out, âiâm almost done!âÂ
the position he was in to grab the laptop meant that he was a lot closer to you than before, his face only centimeters away from yours as he leaned on his elbow on the couch cushion. âplease, watch a movie with me.â he mimics your earlier expression of your jutted out lip.Â
you sigh, giving into the boy, âfine.â he lets out a hissed âyesâ as he sets the laptop on the coffee table and passes you the remote.
you still for a moment when he drops his head into your lap. youâre unsure what to do or say so you try to focus on finding a movie in front of you on the tv.Â
âitâs okay if i put my head in your lap right? iâm just so tired.â heeseung asks, probably noticing how stiff your body went.Â
âuh, yeah sure.â you say, watching where you place your hands and arms now. you hear him let out a quiet âyayâ before heâs telling you to put on a studio ghibli movie.
It was hard to concentrate on Spirited Away at first, with heeseungâs head weight in your lap. you could feel his warm breath on your thigh everytime he exhaled. one of his hands was hooked onto your thigh in front of his face and you could feel him mindlessly tapping his fingers against your leg, probably to some song that is stuck in his head today. you told yourself to focus on the movie and it worked until you stopped feeling his fingers tapping on your thigh. you glance down at your roommate and see that heâs fallen fast asleep on your lap. his damp hair now dry and falling into his closed eyes. his lips are parted slightly as he exhales deep, slow breaths. you allow yourself to take him in for a moment, never seeing him so calm before.Â
through his bangs you see that his eyebrows are not scrunched up in their usual frown since school started. you almost instinctively brush his bangs off of his forehead, but stop when you're a mere inch away. roommates should not be affectionate with each other, especially when said roommate is your best friendâs brother.Â
haku distracts you again.Â
when heeseung moves once more, itâs an hour later when Spirited Away has finally ended, the ending music causing him to stir.Â
âdamn, i basically missed the entire thing.â he mumbles, sleep laced in his voice.Â
âyou did miss the entire thing.â you respond, quirking an eyebrow up at him as he lifts himself from your lap.Â
âsorry,â he shrugs, âbut that was the best sleep iâve had in a while.âÂ
âreally?âÂ
âyeah, iâve been stressed about the dance concert thatâs coming up- they put me in charge of a major part of the choreography so, my minds just been on that.âÂ
âheeseung, what? thatâs amazing!â
heeseung smiles at you, brushing his bangs back like you almost did an hour ago. âthanks- and thanks for letting me sleep.âÂ
âitâs no problem, it gave me more time to think about how to end my essay.âÂ
âyeah? think you can end it perfectly after taking a break?â heeseung asks with a sly tone.
âjust perfectly.âÂ
since the night heeseung had slept in your lap, neither of you had shied away from little touches of each other. like hands casually sliding over each otherâs when he passes you the milk for your cereal, laughing into each otherâs bodies, and more naps with heeseungâs head in your lap.Â
you told yourself that itâs no different than hanging out with your other friends. that you guys are just friendly with each other. there was no romantic feelings between you and your best friendâs older brother.Â
you knew you and heeseung were getting more comfortable with each other, but when he barges into the bathroom while your mid-shower, you had to re-think just how close you two were.Â
âsorry!â heeseung immediately calls out as soon as he enters the bathroom, âbut i gotta pee so bad and i need to leave!âÂ
your mouth drops open as your eyes widen. you instinctively cover your body even though the shower curtain is covering you completely. âit- itâs fine.â you hear him shuffling around through the sound of the showerâs water hitting the tub. tyring to ignore that there is only a thin layer of fabric covering your naked body from heeseungâs gaze you ask him âwhere are you going?â.
âuh, jaehyuckâs having a party tonight and jeonginâs been outside waiting for me for almost ten minutes now and heâs pissed.âÂ
âoh, ok. have fun.âÂ
âi will, thanks!â are heeseungâs last words in the bathroom before heâs shutting the door and leaving.Â
once youâre alone in the shower again, you wonder what you should do tonight since heeseungâs gone and itâs friday night. you wonder if hana would want to hang out at the old cafe you two used to frequent before she moved out. but the oddâs are low since sheâd probably rather go to a bar and âstart her weekend off rightâ. you laugh to yourself as you perfectly hear hanaâs words in your head. but still, you figure you would try.Â
your efforts immediately fail as an hour later you open the door to hana dressed in her âready for the barâ outfit glaring at your âready for the cafeâ outfit.Â
âno.â hana states as she glances up and down at you, shaking her head. âitâs friday y/n! letâs go drinking! you can study for the other two days of the weekend!â
âugh,â you move aside and plop down on your couch, hearing hana close the door behind her wander around her old apartment. âi hate going to bars!âÂ
âyeah well you need to get away from âstudyingâ places every once and a while!â hanaâs voice rings from your bedroom. you sit up on the couch, realizing your head was placed right where heeseungâs face was pressed against your thighs a few weeks ago.Â
âwe donât have to study at the cafe!â you call back to her.Â
âbut youâll be thinking about studying!âÂ
âiâd probably be thinking about studying at a bar, too!âÂ
ânot if youâll be drinking and,â hanaâs voice gets clearer as she continues, âwearing this.âÂ
you turn to look at her as she emphasizes her last word. in her hands is a tight black dress that you have never worn before. it has thin noodle straps and is made of silk. âno.âÂ
âyes!â hana answers, âand since when did you have such a cute dress?âÂ
âugh,â you plop down onto the couch again, âi donât know, a while ago. it was stupid of me.âÂ
âcâmon y/n, itâs gonna look nice on you!â hana pushes your legs so she can sit beside you. âplus, i already ordered a taxi and itâll be here in five minutes.â
âwhat?â you sit up with wide eyes.Â
âyou better hurry and get this dress on!â hana grins at you, allowing for you to grab the dress and run off to your bedroom to change.Â
hanaâs grin doesnât leave her face, even when youâre sitting across from her at the table in some bar sheâs chosen to take you to. since itâs friday night and you live in a popular school town- this bar is practically packed. you glance around nervously, always hating big crowds of people.Â
âso, whatâs it like living with my brother so far?â hana asks you, sipping her drink through her straw.Â
âitâs fine.â you shrug, mimicking her actions with your own drink. maybe getting more alcohol in your system will take away your anxious thoughts.Â
âoh come on!â hana exclaims, âthis is like the one hundredth time iâve asked you and itâs always the same reply. and iâve noticed you never even mention him to me either.âÂ
âwell what do you want me to say? living with him is fine, itâs normal.â you defend yourself, flashbacks of every not-so-normal roommate encounter youâve had with her brother the past month and a half.Â
âwell i mean do you talk to him?âÂ
âhana, i kind of have to, because you know, we live together.â you roll your eyes at your best friend.Â
âwell what do you talk about?âÂ
âi- i donât know! normal things! whatâs this all about?âÂ
hana shrugs and sits back into her seat, ânothing- itâs just ever since he moved in i donât hear anything about him, like does he even still live there?âÂ
âyes, he lives there.â you shove her legs with your foot playfully under the table, âand itâs just thereâs nothing to say. weâre roommates- thatâs it.âÂ
âso you guys arenât like, friends?â you think about it for a moment, are you and heeseung? friends? you suppose you see each other at some of your worsts, like right after waking up, or all sweaty from dancing. you share things about your day and food. but those are things that just come with being roommates. so, you shrug. âwhat do you mean? youâve lived together for two months and arenât friends?âÂ
âwell i donât know! i havenât asked him if weâre friends or anything- nothing like that has come up!â
âdo you guys know things about each other? like share things like that?âÂ
âyeah, some things.âÂ
âlike do you know who his stupid friends are?âÂ
you think about it for a second. every time youâve seen heeseung on campus heâs been by himself. and heâs only briefly mentioned jeongin a few times. so youâve assumed to yourself that jeongin must be his best friend. âonly jeongin. but iâve never met him or anything.âÂ
âah jeongin!â hana nods, âyeah heâs one of the nice ones.âÂ
you tilt your head, âwhat do you mean?âÂ
âheeseung hangs around with the Sigma Fidi guys- the ones that are all born in 2001.âÂ
âthe ones that completely ruined the library last year?â your mouth drops open in memory of how the beloved library- the only place you could find peace- was entirely flipped upside down last year.Â
âyep, those guys.âÂ
âoh my god!â you sat back in your chair in despair, âthat took weeks to fix!âÂ
âi know, i clearly remember how much you complained about it when it happened.â you ignore hanaâs playful smile as you try to take in how someone as nice as heeseung could be friends with people who are capable of tearing apart such a beautiful place. âanyways, thereâs the yang jeongin guy youâve heard of. i guess him and heeseung have been friends for maybe ten years now?â so youâve correctly assumed that theyâre probably best friends. âand jaehyuk, beomgyu and theo. thereâs more but those are the ones that heeseung usually hangs around with.âÂ
âand all four of them ruined the library?â you ask hana, still not comprehending it all.Â
âmm, i think so.â hana nods, âi never really asked heeseung about it so.â
âoh.âÂ
the music in the bar is suddenly louder, playing some song youâve never heard of and are far too busy mentally to even decide if you like the song or not. you wouldâve never thought that heeseung would be the one behind ruining your sanctuary last year. even after speaking to him about the library so many times! you remember how distraught your favourite librarian was when you walked in after opening hours. the books were pushed onto the floor and ripped. the tables, walls and ceiling had spray paint all over it. all the flowers that even you watered sometimes were ripped from their roots and dirt was mucked throughout the entire room. not even one bookshelf was together after being stepped on and smashed. you remember how much you struggled to find a calming place to sit at school for months afterwards.Â
âwhatâre you thinking about?â hana asks you, nudging her foot against your leg.Â
ânothing.âÂ
âthen letâs go dance!â before you can refuse, hana is pulling you up, leaving your drinks and table behind to enter the very crowded dance floor, pushing your new revelations of heeseung out of your mind, at least for awhile.Â
it was hours later, further into the night when you got back to yours and heeseungâs shared apartment. it was quiet and dark, as you expected since it was reaching 3am. your familiarity with the apartment was your only guidance to your bedroom.Â
within inches from your bedroom, you heard it.Â
a muted moan through the walls.Â
your entire body tensed and retracted your hand that was about to touch your bedroomâs door knob. a thump followed by a womanâs giggle from the other side of the hallway made you stand up straight. and then it was clear what was happening in your roommateâs bedroom.Â
you never expected heeseung to bring home someone. it was never even mentioned between you two. heâs never even brought home a friend before as they always just wait outside for him.Â
a deep, nauseous feeling overcomes you and you curse yourself for drinking tonight. without thinking much- only the vibrant thought of âi canât be here anymoreâ flashing in your mind, you turn back the way you came, catching a glimpse of high heels at the front door. you only stop when youâre in the lobby of your apartment.Â
the moonlight is filling up the entire room, bringing some comfort to you as tears start to well up in your eyes. you know the reason why youâre crying, but you refuse to accept it and blame it on the alcohol. you sit down on the small couches that the lobby holds for visitors, and accept your fate of sitting here for the rest of the night.Â
you didnât know what to do. you couldnât go to hanaâs because then sheâd obviously ask why you're upset. and whatâre you gonna say? that youâre upset because youâve developed a crush on your roommate that happens to be her brother and that the thought of him fucking another girl in your apartment makes you feel like youâre rotting from the inside out? that wouldnât go well.Â
because you know how hana would feel to have trusted you to live with her brother just for you to ruin it all. she was never close with heeseung in the first place, so to have her best friend have feelings for him? it just seems out of the question. why would she want her best friend to date her basically estranged older brother? even after tonight, when she asked question after question about your relationship with heeseung, she seemed off. she seemed like she wanted to know that you and heeseung are just friends. you wouldnât even put it past her to be secretly happy that you told her everything is just normal roommates between you two.Â
if only she knew how not normal it was. roommates donât sleep with their heads on each otherâs laps. they donât drool over the other when theyâre working out. their hearts donât flip when they see each other in the hallways at school. and they most definitely donât get upset when the other is fucking someone else. Â
you sigh frustratedly, swearing to wipe the last tear off of your cheek and rest your head on the arm rest of the small couch. itâs small enough for your legs to curl up on, but it does nothing from the small gushes of air that circulate your dress-clad body. you fight the urge to go to sleep, but soon give in, the last thought being of heeseung and the unknown betrayal he just carried out.Â
when you woke up, the pale moonlight had turned into a warm yellow glow.Â
which was being blocked by your apartmentâs front desk worker, jongho. you sit right up when your sleepy mind clears and you realize heâs glaring right at you.Â
âgood morning, y/n.â his monotone voice speaks to you.Â
âuh, hi, jongho.â you try to speak cheerfully to distract him from the fact you probably smell like alcohol and are passed out in the public lobby.Â
âhave a good sleep?âÂ
âuh, yeah! just wanted to see how comfy these couches are, you know?âÂ
âno, i donât know as i would think my own bed would be far more comfortable.âÂ
you cringe at his words, standing up and avoiding eye contact as he scolds you. âyeah, i should go see just how comfortable my bed is- sorry.â you wave smally at him as you head to the elevator, wanting it to come faster as you could still feel jonghoâs eyes on you as he makes his way back to his desk.Â
âhave a good day, y/n.â he calls out to you when the elevator door closes with you inside. you only then let out the breath you didnât know you were holding when his cold eyes leave your body.Â
out with that breath and in with the thoughts of what the hell youâre about to walk into as the elevator quickly takes you to your floor. you mumble a curse as you see the mess you look like in the elevatorâs mirror. scrambling to fix your hair and wipe the fallen eyeliner as walk to your door.Â
your quick plan to quietly sneak into your bedroom and act as if you didnât just freak out that heeseung was having sex with a girl and sleep on a basically public couch all night failed just as quickly as you thought of it.Â
as soon as you entered your apartment, lee heeseung was standing at the kitchen island, glaring at you with eyes almost as cold as jonghoâs. âwhere the hell have you been?â your eyes catch the floor where you saw the high heels hours ago and take a mental sigh of relief when you see that theyâre gone. she probably walked right past you when you were passed out on the couch. âhello?âÂ
your body tenses again when heeseungâs tone matches his eyes. his hands stop mixing whateverâs in the bowl as he takes in your figure.Â
âi went out, to the bar with hana last night.â you reply, easing off your own high heels at the front door.Â
âand so you couldnât answer a text? i was worried.âÂ
itâs then that you realized you left your phone in your purse on the couch last night when you came home. mentally slapping yourself. âi forgot it, so i slept at hanaâs.âÂ
âi thought you said you never wanted to sleep in an apartment with jay and hana again?âÂ
you shrug, not finding any humour this morning. âi was drunk.âÂ
âok, well iâm making eggs if you want some.âÂ
you shake your head no as you whisk up your forgotten purse, âno thanks. iâm just going to go to sleep.âÂ
âoh, ok.â heeseungâs tone drops, âsee ya later then.âÂ
youâre too upset to respond as you smell a womanâs perfume come from heeseungâs bedroom when you walk past. your bedroom is like a safeway for you as you close the door, your back sliding against it as your knees give up from under you. the events from last night seem too much for your body to take. first with hana interrogating you about heeseung, finding out heeseungâs friends are assholes and then hearing heeseung, your best friendâs brother that you have a crush on, have sex with someone else in your shared apartment. it felt like the world was against you.Â
you tiredly crawl around to slip on some sweatpants, throwing heeseungâs black and white flannel that you borrowed to the other side of your room that you stumbled on. when you crawl into your covers, ready for some sleep in your own bed you decide two things :Â
you need to make some distance between heeseung and you andÂ
youâre never going to a bar again.Â
the last few weeks of fall in your once sanctuary of a home, turned into an awkward hell. it was easy to distance yourself from heeseung at first from your hours at the library and his hours spent choreographing for the dance concert. the apartment was usually empty until late hours of the night, which were spent solely for sleep until you woke up and left quietly again in the morning.Â
heeseung tried to speak to you at first, always asking if you wanted to watch a movie on the couch with him, or if you wanted another bowl of cereal. both things that you used to look forward to with heeseung, but had to turn down for the sake of your relationship with hana and heeseung. everytime you denied, you could see a deeper frown on heeseungâs face when he turned away.Â
his efforts to speak quickly faded just as quickly as he was denied. your only conversation was swift hiâs and byes as you passed each other at the front door. when both of you were home, which was rare, both of you stayed in your rooms.Â
you distracted yourself in your room with your studying, but hearing his laughter while he played video games with his friends echoing in the walls, only made you distracted with the thoughts of how much you missed his laugh and smile. but those thoughts were quickly fought with the fact that you should not miss your best friendâs brotherâs laugh.Â
after a tiring day of classes and a shift at the library, you didnât expect to come home to a bunch of boys lounging around your apartment. you hang your coat at the front door as all of their eyes land on you.Â
âhey, y/n!â heeseungâs cheery voice calls from the kitchen.Â
âuh, hey.â you respond, a shy smile spreading on your face as you greet everyone.Â
âthese are my friends- jeongin, beomgyu and theo.â you smile as heeseung introduces them, all of them greeting in response politely. you try to pretend like hana didnât show you pics of the Sigma Fidi members a few days ago so you know who exactly is sitting in your living room.Â
âheeseung you didnât tell us your roommate was so pretty!â the one with long black hair who you recognize as yang jeongin speaks, his eyes almost sparkling as he speaks.Â
âyeah, you really are so pretty!â theo smiles at you. âisnât she, hee?âÂ
with the dim kitchen light, you can still see a hint of pink hit heeseungâs face as he continues to pour juice in a cup. âum, yeah- of course.â you felt exposed standing in your own living room and you quickly wanted to get to your peaceful bedroom and away from this group forming.Â
jeongin tsks at his best friendâs response, âcâmon heeseung, make it seem more meaningful than that!âÂ
heeseung stops pouring and looks up at you, taking in your pink cheeks of embarrassment and the cold, fall wind before quickly glancing back to his friends, âsheâs really pretty.âÂ
âthatâs it!â theo laughs tossing his head back to laugh at how embarrassed his friend looks. âif youâre gonna compliment someone, you gotta mean it.âÂ
the apartment goes silent as you try to decipher what you should do next.Â
just as youâre about to beeline it to your bedroom after offering a quick goodnight, beomgyu speaks from his side of the couch, âoh and y/n!âÂ
you turn, forcing an awkward smile on your face, âyeah?âÂ
âthanks for letting me sleep over a few weeks ago.â his smile beams up at you.Â
âyou slept over?â you ask him, confusing covering your face at the news.Â
âuh, yeah⌠the night jaehyuk had a party i came back here with chaeryeong and passed out.âÂ
âthe night of jaehyukâs partyâŚâ you speak out loud, trying to comprehend what you were hearing.Â
âyeah, the night you went out with hana⌠i slept in your bed that night, that's why i was worried you didnât come home.â heeseung speaks up from the kitchen. âi never got a chance to tell you i slept there⌠sorry.âÂ
âohâŚâ you place your hand on your head⌠so it wasnât heeseung having sex in his bedroom that night- it was beomgyu, âno, itâs fine, yeah.âÂ
âare you okay?â jeongin asks you, a worried expression on his face.Â
âyeah, i just- yeah iâm good- just a long day so iâm gonna go to bed.âÂ
âalright, it was nice meeting you!â theo waves to you, which is followed by the other three saying goodnight, too.Â
in your bedroom you had to fight the urge to laugh. the amount of relief you had now that you learnt heeseung hasnât fucked someone. it was laughable how worried you got for something that couldâve been easily avoided. if you had just gone into your bedroom that night you wouldâve found heeseung awake in your bed, waiting for your return. the thought of heeseung laying in your bed makes you wonder what he thought of your room. if he liked the smell of your sheets or perfume. if he even paid attention to those details about you.Â
the group of boys laughing in the living room makes you move from your bedroom door, suddenly extra ready for bed now that something that has been eating at you for weeks is finally cleared up. you crawl into bed, wondering if heeseung had put his head where yours is, and you wonder if itâs okay to think of your roommate this way.Â
soon after, you decided that you canât avoid heeseung forever, and honestly it was getting tiring trying to stay away from him. so, instead of heading to the library to study for hours after your last class of the dayâ you headed home. you could feel your cozy blanket on your body the more you got closer to your apartment. you imagined eating a bowl of ramen in bed before taking an afternoon nap as soon as you got home.Â
the thought of heeseung being home not in your plan for the day as you assumed he would be at one of his many dance classes, or teaching his new choreography to the other dancers for the concert that was quickly approaching. you wonder what heeseung will say when he sees you home before him for once. you giggle to yourself when you try to imagine the look on his face.Â
when you open your apartment door, you quickly realize that the afternoon you had planned was in fact, not happening. the tv was turned off as heeseung sat on the couch. the sunlight from the large window panning onto him as he sat with his back completely against the cushion. his head was tilted back, his brown hair shaggy on his head, desperately needing a haircut that you didnât want. his brown, bambi eyes were closed and his mouth hung open.Â
it only took a second for you to notice the rest of him, his body shaking and panting. your eyes glance down to where his hand was wrapped around his cock. the red tip oozing precum as heeseung continued to jerk himself off. your mouth opened, wanting to say somethingâ anything, but you couldnât. you knew this image of heeseung would forever be ingrained into your brain, but you canât look away at how beautiful he looks, with each droplet of sweat catching on the sunlight.Â
your body rests on the right side of your body, moving the door an inchâ the perfect inch that makes the door squeak, causing heeseungâs eyes to fly open. when they meet you, they widen, curses flying out of his mouth. âoh y/n! fuck!âÂ
you turn your head, your hand covering your eyes, âsorry! sorry! i didnât see anything!â you hear heeseung scrambling around, probably pulling his pants up and knocking things over in his surprised state. you felt your heart rate speed up, a feeling of anxiety taking over and you decide that you canât take this right now and slam the front door after you. youâre practically running down the hallway of your apartment building, taking the stairs down instead of waiting for the slow elevator, needing to get away from this situation fast. because thereâs just no way you just watched heeseung masturbate.Â
this is definitely not normal for roommates.Â
you head to the library and stay there until closing, trying to study and distract yourself from the image you saw earlier. but it seemed like every ten seconds, the thought of heeseung masturbating would pop into your head.Â
it was the way that heeseung seemed to be so close to his climax, his low grunts frequent as soon as you stepped in the door. the light sheen of sweat covering his face as he focused on the pleasure he was giving himself. his chest moving erratically as he struggled to catch his breath. he looked gorgeous and overwhelmed at the same time, triggering something inside of you that youâve never thought of before.Â
the more you thought about heeseung masturbating, the more you could feel your panties getting wet. when it was closing time you could only sigh, thinking how now you have to walk home uncomfortably and how this wasnât the first time heeseung had made your panties uncomfortably soaked.Â
you didnât know what would await you this time you came in the front door, but you were glad that it was dark and silent. no group of boys, no heeseung attempting to cook and no hana who had forgotten something at the apartment again.Â
you lied in bed, wanting to go to sleep to forget this long day. but the uncomfortableness in your panties couldnât go away. there was something swirling in the bottom of your stomach and you knew it was all because of heeseung.Â
your hand naturally finds its way in your panties, gasping quietly when you feel just how wet you are. your fingers basically slip through and catch all of your juices. within a second your fingers are circulating your clit in small circles, imagining heeseung was in your bed again, but this time with you. you imagine that heâs whispering for you to cum for him, that he wants to see you cum. you try to imagine what heâd look like laying beside you, watching you pleasure yourself to the thought of him.Â
but then it only takes a second for you to give up. the pleasure youâre seeking can only be satisfied with heeseung yourself. your eyes open and you groan out into your dark bedroom, frustrated with yourself and heeseung. you turn onto your side, eyes closing again, but this time for sleep, just wanting to forget this whole day happened.Â
you donât think you were asleep for long when you woke up to a bump. you lay there, trying to listen for another and then you hear your bedroom door open and a whisper of your name. âare you awake?âÂ
your roll over, eyes squinting as you look up to find heeseung standing at your bedroom door, âyeah. you woke me up.âÂ
âoh iâm so sorry,â heeseung pouts at you, you hear the slur in his voice when he speaks louder and you catch the way heâs holding onto the door knob tightly.Â
âitâs fineâ are you alright?â you ask him, sitting up on your elbows now as you take in his composure.Â
âmm-yeah. i was just- iâm really sorry- about what happened, uh earlier. and i just-.âÂ
âitâs fine heeseung, if it's bothering you then we can talk about it in the morning.â you tell him, putting a smile on your face.Â
âwell, okay, but i, i was wondering if i could sleep with you, in here. i just, yeah.âÂ
âyou want to sleep in my bed with me?â you ask him confused.Â
âyeah, i went out with beomgyu and jeongin and i told them and they laughed at me so i drank a lot and now, now i just want to lay with you.âÂ
you take a deep breath before pulling the corner of your blanket over, âcome on.âÂ
âreally?â heeseung asks excitedly.Â
you smile at his reaction, âyes, come on, iâm tired.âÂ
within a second heeseung was lying beside you. there was only an inch of space between your warm bodies. it only took another second for heeseung to roll over and lay his arm over your stomach. he exhales into your neck before he speaks, âiâm so, so sorry for earlier, and for now since im so wasted.âÂ
you laugh silently, causing his body to bounce from your movements âitâs okay, donât worry about it.âÂ
another beat of silence passes between you and you wonder if heâs fallen asleep until he speaks again, âwill you play with my hair this time?â
âthis time?âÂ
âyeah, when i was laying on your lap i saw that you were about to, but then you stopped.âÂ
âi thought you were asleep for that.âÂ
you feel heeseung smile against your ribcage, âwell i was, but i was awake for that part. whyâd you stop?â
you shift under him, not knowing how to feel about his observation, âwell, because weâre roommates, and i donât know if roommates play with each otherâs hair when theyâre supposed to be sleeping.â you flick his forehead playfully.Â
âweâre more than just roommates.â heeseung replies, a slight slur onto his words as his lips are meshed against your body.Â
âare we?âÂ
âyeah.âÂ
you sigh, knowing that you really wonât be able to sleep now, but you need to know, âthen what are we?âÂ
your bedroom goes silent again, but you know heeseung isnât asleep. his fingers are tracing tapping onto your side and you want to ask him what song is stuck in his head this time, you wonder if it's the song heâs choreographing for the dance concert.Â
âi donât know, but itâs more than roommates.â he finally answers, gulping loudly after he speaks.Â
you decide youâve heard enough for the night then and turn around in his arms so your back is turned to him. he only takes a second for you to get comfortable before heâs tightening his grip on your waist and pulling you into his chest. you can feel his heartbeat slowing on your back and you know the alcohol has finally taken over and heâs passed out.Â
the final thought your mind gives before your own slumber takes over is that you hope heeseung sleeps in your bed again.Â
when you wake up again, the sun is pouring onto your face and your bed is cold and empty. you sigh and sit up, glancing around your room. when your eyes land on your clock you jolt out of bed, realizing that youâre going to be late to class.Â
you scurry around your room, picking up heeseungâs flannel that you threw across the room a few weeks ago and throwing it over your tank top. in a flash, youâre out of your shared apartment and running to your class, hoping to not miss something important.Â
like usual, youâre headed to the library to study after your long class. thankfully, your professor only gave you a stern look when you walked into class late. you managed to not think about heeseung until your phone started vibrating on the table underneath your textbook.Â
âhello?â you speak into the phone.Â
âhey, where are you right now?â heeseung asks you, his voice no longer slurring like the night before.Â
âat the library.âÂ
âright, i couldâve guessed that.â
âhey!â you whine playfully with a pout that he couldnât see.Â
his sweet laughter echoes through the line, âwell, i think you should pack up now anyways.âÂ
âwhat, why?âÂ
suddenly your textbook is being slammed shut and lifted up. you drop your phone to your lap, ready to reprimand the person whoâs stealing your textbook. but stop when you see heeseungâs cheesy grin looking down at you, âbecause weâre going home, câmon.â heeseung turns with your textbook, leaving you to scramble once again and shove the rest of your things into your bag, catching up to him quickly.
before you leave, you catch the librarian giving heeseung a detached expression as she watches him walk out of the library and you gulp, remembering that he and his friends were the ones to disturb it only a year ago.Â
when you entered your shared apartment, heeseung finally handed you your textbook back after threatening to throw it if you didnât hurry up the entire jog home. youâre about to give him a snarky thank you, but stop when you realize the living room is filled with the scent of your favourite food.Â
âchinese food?â you question, your eyes landing on the food on the coffee table, plates and chopsticks laid out as well. the couch has pillows and blankets, and the candles that were covered in dust are now lit. âwhatâs all this?â your eyes are filled with amusement as heeseung takes off your coat for you and hangs it up.Â
heeseung shrugs, âi just thought we could have dinner and a movie together, like we used to.â thereâs a shy smile on his face as he avoids your eye contact.Â
âthat actually sounds great.âÂ
heeseung grabs your wrist, âthen câmon, letâs eat.âÂ
heeseung sits in his usual place on the couch, lifting the blanket for you to sit down beside him and you start to dig in. he puts on Howlâs Moving Castle quietly and leans back into the couch cushion. it would feel like a normal night between you and your roommate, one that you used to look forward to after a long day of classes, but now, both of you can tell that thereâs a heavy burden in the silence between you.Â
thankfully, heeseung is the one to break it, âlook y/n, iâm going to be honestâ,â you finish your last bite food and look over at him, his face curled up with anxiety before he continues, âi did all this as some sort of apology for how things have been these past couple of weeks. and for what happened yesterday.âÂ
you sigh, âdonât worry about yesterday, i know you didnât think i would be home because well, i havenât been properly home in weeks, and thatâs my fault.â you shift uncomfortably in your usual comfortable place on the couch and decide to let out what has been weighing you down for weeks. âitâs just- can i ask you something, heeseung?âÂ
âof course,â heeseung bites the inside of his cheek out of nervousness, âanything.â
âwas it you and your friends that destroyed the library last year?âÂ
âwhat?â heeseungâs face contorts in confusion.Â
âwell you know, the Sigma Fidi guys, did they really destroy the library?âÂ
heeseung laughs suddenly and it makes you whip your head to look at him. anger washes over you as your roommate laughs at you, and you cover your body with your arms, huffing as you let him laugh. âwhatâre you talking about, y/n? you really think i, or jeongin or even theo! could destroy a library? why would we even do that?âÂ
âw-well, it was just, hana-.â you stammer out, feeling awful now that youâve literally accused heeseung and his friends of a crime.Â
heeseung laughs again at the mention of his sister, âhana told you that it was the Sigma Fidi guys who destroyed it?â he rolls his eyes at your confirmation nod, âhana always gets the fratâs names mixed up! it wasnât us who destroyed the library, it was the Sigma Drakos who did it! all the guys born in 2000!âÂ
âoh my god!â you slap your hand on your forehead as you sit back on the couch cushion. all these weeks of worrying that the guy you had a crush on destroyed your favourite placeâ just because your best friend canât remember the name of a frat! you laugh with heeseung now, both of you now realizing how appalling the accusation was. âiâm so sorry!âÂ
heeseung waves it off, âitâs fineâ is that why youâve been avoiding me? because you thought I destroyed the library? because i really would never do that. especially since i know how precious the library is to you.âÂ
âwell, thatâs part of it.â the smile falls from your face as you find twirling your fingers together more interesting.Â
âwhatâs the other part?âÂ
you gulp at heeseungâs question, not even mentally preparing yourself for your next words before you speak, âi thought- at firstâ that you had sex with some girl and i heard it, but then it turns out that it was beomgyu! but that set me off because i didnât think i should be so worried about my best friendâs brother having sex with another girlâŚâÂ
your apartment goes silent as joe hisaishi plays in the background. both of you stare off at Howl jumps off with Sophie. you wonder if heeseung will say anything, or if itâs his turn to avoid you for months now. with each burning second of silence, your calm facade begins to fade and your true interior of anxiety starts to shine through. your leg starts bouncing quickly, trying to relieve some of the anxious tension filling your body. could you deal with heeseung avoiding you for months? could you still live in this apartment if he moved out tomorrow? could you manage to see his pretty smile on campus?Â
âis that iâll ever be to you? your best friendâs brother and your roommate?â heeseung finally asks quietly, interrupting Howlâs current dialogue. your leg stops bouncing as he speaks, wanting to hear every word of his perfectly.Â
âwhat do you mean?â you ask warily, not understanding what he wanted to hear. the truth of your real feelings for him? or the safety net of that thereâs nothing between you two, just normal roommates?
âi mean,â heeseung sighs and brushes his bangs out of his face, âi mean, i want more than just catching a glimpse of you out the door everyday. i want more than whateverâs been going on recently. i donât care if youâre friends with hana or not, i just want more of you.âÂ
the silence between you two continues as you process his words. your relationship with his sister means nothing to him. and you wonder if it should mean nothing to you too when you thought of your relationship with heeseung. maybe it would be okay to be more than just normal roommates with him after all.Â
âalright.â you give finally.Â
âalright?â heeseung questions you.Â
âalright we can go back to the way we were, we can see more of each other.âÂ
âreally?â heeseung sits up from the couch. with your nod, heâs suddenly jumping from one side of the couch to the other, throwing his arms around you. you laugh as you wrap your own arms around him, allowing yourself to be surrounded with his warmth with no worries for the first time. he only held on tighter when he realized you hugged him back. âiâm so glad! i missed you so much! andâ oh,â heeseung retracts his body from your own, his hands gripping your shoulders as he looks at you, âone more thing.âÂ
âwhat is it?â you grumble out.Â
âweâre having a party this friday.âÂ
âwhat?â you jerk back from him, making his hands go limp in his lap. âwhy?âÂ
âbecause exams will be over then! so we should celebrate!â heeseung speaks with an obvious tone.Â
you cross your hands over your chest, âis this why you got me chinese food? so iâd be more agreeable to having a party this week?âÂ
heeseungâs hand scratches the back of his neck sheepishly, âwell, no, but kinda.â you give him an unimpressed look. âso⌠yeah? weâll have a party? please?âÂ
you give in when he pouts at you, âfine.â and then youâre pulled into a bone crushing hug as he thanks you for âbeing the best roommate everâ.Â
âis this my flannel?â heeseung asks in your ear.Â
âum, yeah?âÂ
heeseung only laughs melodically, not letting you go.Â
both of you go to bed when Howlâs Moving Castle is over. properly saying goodnight to each other for the first time in months. while you lay down, you wonder how the party will go this weekend. you wonder how hana will react to seeing how close you and heeseung really are. you wonder if sheâll notice that you have feelings for her older brother.Â
you try to push those thoughts away as you try to fall asleep for the night, and replace them with the memories you made tonight with heeseung.Â
friday night came fast.Â
you spent all week studying and then taking your exams, which you think went well. heeseung spent his afternoons practicing for the dance concert, but always made it home early enough to eat dinner and watch a movie with you. it was nice to see him so much again. the bond between you felt closer and tighter than ever before. and the fire in your heart only grew stronger for him.Â
little touches of each other grew into subtle hand holding during movies under blankets. his head always seemed to fall into your lap after he was done eating. soft compliments of each other were more frequently exchanged than not, always causing a pink dash to spread across your cheeks. it wouldâve felt perfect if there wasnât that nagging feeling in the back of your head that hana wouldnât like this.Â
hana was in fact invited to the party that you and heeseung were holding. alongside the rest of the Sigma Fidi boys and their friends, and their friends and their friends. you were worried that your small apartment wouldnât be able to hold everyone. but, even though winter was finally here, and outside was beginning to look like a sheet of white cloth, people went out on your balcony, chatting like everyone else.Â
by the time the party was in full swing, you were already feeling drunk. before everyone showed up, you and heeseung took a few shots together. you had to, because when heeseung stepped out of his bedroom, dressed in a nice silk button up, you knew you would be dead meat for the rest of the night. you also couldnât ignore the way heeseungâs eyes wouldnât shy away from trailing up your bare legs from the dress you borrowed from hana tonight.Â
theo, beomgyu and jeongin didnât shy away from complimenting you tonight either, like they ever do. but they were definitely more sober than you, and having fun watching you drunkenly talk about the library, living with heeseung and how you miss living with hana.Â
âyou talking about me?â hana suddenly asks as she appears and sits beside you, jay following her.Â
âno, never.â you playfully grin at her, laughing when she gently nudges you. the rest of the boys start greeting jay, who they apparently havenât seen much of since heâs moved in with hana. âiâm going to get another drink.â you tell hana beside you.Â
âiâll come with you,â jeongin says from across the coffee, you smile and give your hand out, letting him hold onto it to follow you into the kitchen. jeongin and you speak about nothing but everything while you pour each other drinks. heâs funny, and heâs good looking, and youâve never noticed it before. the dim lights you and heeseung put up around the apartment make jeonginâs eyeâs sparkle every time he drunkenly laughs. âdo you want to go dance?â you donât say no when he asks.Â
youâre in the middle of your living room, dancing with people who you assume are friends with either heeseung or hana, and jeonginâs grip is tight on your waist. youâre both laughing as you continue to jump around close to each other. you think his cologne smells a lot like heeseungâs. you felt jeonginâs hands slide from your waist to your ass, pulling you closer to his chest and you both continued to dance.Â
the music starts to fade out once you realize how close you are to jeongin, and focus on his movement and his laughter that doesnât seem to stop. youâre both unaware of the envious eyes watching both of you.Â
suddenly, jeongin is being pulled away from you, and you stumble a bit to catch yourself since you were leaning so much of your weight onto him.Â
âwhat the hell?â jeongin turns angrily, but stops when he sees that itâs heeseung, âoh, hey. whatâs up?â
heeseung shrugs, âi think y/nâs drank too much tonight.âÂ
âwhat? no i havenât!â you speak up with a whine.Â
âyou only ever dance when youâre wasted.â heeseung points out, and it makes you mentally drunk-check yourself. heeseung pats jeongin on the back, âplus itâs almost 3 so i think itâs time everyone heads out.â you donât hear what jeonginâs reply is as you turn and look for hana. sheâs sitting where you left her not too long ago, but on top of jay now.Â
your eyes squint when the apartmentâs lights are flicked on and the music shuts off. everyone groans before heeseungâs voice cuts through, saying that itâs been fun, but they gotta go. you wave bye to the people that you recognize. hugging jeongin when he walks past, laughing when he twirls you around, oblivious to heeseungâs eye roll.Â
âat least you seemed to have fun.â heeseungâs voice rings out behind you as you shut the door.Â
you turn and see your roommate leaned up against the kitchen island, arms crossed over his chest with a displeased look on his face.Â
âyeah, i did. and so what?â you huff at him, starting to head straight for your bedroom, âsorry you hate seeing me have fun.âÂ
heeseungâs hand reaches out and grabs your wrist, stopping you from moving forward, ây/n.â your name sounds so desperate coming from him. âsorry, i didnât mean it like that- iâm, iâm justâ.âÂ
âjust what, heeseung?â you rip your wrist out of his grip. âwhy canât i dance with jeongin? and whyâd you have to tell everyone i drank too much, why do you even care how much i drink?âÂ
heeseungâs face drops and it makes you scoff, turning around again to head to your room, ây/n!â heeseung reaches forward, so both of his hands are on each of your shoulder, forcing you to look at him, âplease, just let me talk for a second.âÂ
you sigh, but give into his bambi coloured eyes, âfine.âÂ
heeseung lets out a breath, âi- i care, because i like you. i like you a lot.â a small gasp leaves your mouth at his confession, âi like that youâre shy when it comes to physical touch, i like that youâd make yourself blind just to finish an assignmentâ i like how passionate you are about libraries and books and writings! i like, everything about you.âÂ
your heart started beating at heeseungâs words, a rush of emotions washes over you as you stand before him. his confession has taken you completely by surprise. you had never thought lee heeseung would have actual feelings for youâ his little sisterâs best friend, and his roommate.Â
you felt your cheeks turn pink as you looked into his serious, genuine eyes. you force yourself to respond to him, âheeseung, i didnât know you felt this way. i wasnât expecting this at all.â you hear heeseung gulp as his hands start to loosen on your arms. âbut, i care about you, heeseung. more than i can put into words. i like you, heeseung. more than youâll ever truly know.âÂ
heeseungâs face instantly lit up with your words, his beautiful smile taking up his entire face. ây/n, you seriously mean so much to me, and i, i want to be more than just your stupid roommate.âÂ
âhee, i want that, too.âÂ
heeseung removes his hands from your arms and carefully place them on your cheeks, cradling your face, bringing your faces closer to each other. you swallow harshly as your lips brush together for the first time. you instantly feel the connection you thought you had just been imaging soar through your veins.Â
time seemed slow in that exact moment. it was just you and heeseung, kissing each other. kissing the only other person who truly understands you and never judges you. the kiss symbolized just the beginning of your relationship with heeseung.Â
when you pull away, you watch the adoration fade from heeseungâs eyes, and is replaced by deep lust. the alcohol had finally hit him, and now you could tell he was feeling the same emotions you were. you were needy, desperate and wanted to feel him inside of you so bad.Â
with no hesitation, heeseung picks you up, making you squeal out his name as he takes you to your bedroom. he plops you down into your sapphire sheets, making your body bounce slightly on the mattress.Â
âgod, you have no idea how bad iâve wanted- needed this,â heeseung says, ripping his silk shirt over his head and tossing it on the ground.Â
âoh, i bet i do.â you tell him honestly, knowing that youâve wanted him since the first day he stepped foot into your apartment.Â
heeseung chuckles and smashed his lips onto yours, slipping his tongue so easily into your mouth to explore. your tongues mesh together, heeseungâs hips grinding into yours.Â
âwhy did you never do anything about it if you needed it so bad?â you ask him curiously, his lips trailing down your neck, nibbling at the sensitive skin. heeseung groans into it, his hands rushing up to cup your cheeks again as he looks into your eyes.Â
âi didnât know you wanted it, too. thought youâd always just see me as your roommate or something,â heeseung admits, leaning down to kiss you again. your lips feel swollen from all the kissing, but you could care less, as long as it was because of heeseung.Â
âi do want it- i have wanted it.âÂ
heeseung shakes his head at in you in disbelief, âiâm gonna fuck you so good, y/n.âÂ
âplease, hee, i want it so bad.â you donât care if you sound desperate, because you areâ and so is heeseung. he smashes his lips against yours once more, this time the kiss is just as despeate and needy as you are. his fingers start to pull down the top of your dress, revealing your breasts.Â
you canât stop your head from falling back as heeseung sucks your nipple into his mouth. his tongue starts circling and prodding your nipples. you let a small whine fall past your lips as you glance down at the man. you let your hands trace down his bare back, finally able to touch his skin after months of being teased by it.Â
âhee,â his nickname is so soft coming from your lips. heâs always loved hearing you say his nickname, but hearing it as he pleasures you was something he thought he could have only ever dreamed of.Â
âsuch pretty tits,â he mumbles as he presses one last kiss to your nipple before heâs grabbing a handful of your thighs and flipping you over onto your stomach. you squeal out his name at the sudden, forced movement. heeseung pushes up your dress so it bunches at your hips, and pulls your soaked panties to the side. âyou sure you want to do this, y/n?âÂ
you gasp out, âyes, heeseung, please.âÂ
with your confirmation, heeseung pushes his finger into your wet folds. you both groan at the feeling. youâre so soft and warm and he canât believe how fucking wet you are. you helplessly whine into your bedroom, your grip on your sheets tightens as he slowly starts to move his middle finger in and out of you.Â
âfuck, baby, youâre so tight.â heeseung graosnas his vision is completely taken over by the sight of his finger disappearing into your squishy walls. he wonders when was the last time youâve been fucked, heâs never seen you with any other guyâ or girl. but your pussy is so tight, he conjectured if his cock would fit or not.Â
heeseungâs fingers are much more long and slender than your own, letting him reach places youâve never been able to when you think about him late at night. he slips in a second finger alongside his middle finger, and they both start to massage the pad of your gspot. you slowly feel yourself start to reach your peak so you slip your own hand down to your clit.Â
heeseung groans at your actions, watching both of your hands work to make yourself feel so good. he feels himself get harder as your cries increase in volume. both of your hands are moving in sync, your hips are bucking up for more. heeseung wants to see you cum all over his fingers so bad.Â
âhee, fuckâ so close.âÂ
when heeseung slips in a third finger you know youâre about to cum any second, and so does heeseung. he feels your walls get even tighter some how and start to pulsate around his fingers. he canât take his eyes off of the scene in front of him. your fingers wet from rubbing such fast, small circles over your clit. and your juices slipping down his hand from his three fingers fucking inside of you.Â
âcâmon baby, cum for meâ i wanna see my good girl cum for me.â heeseung coaxes you to an orgasm. your eyes lock together as you hit your high. your body stills as your pussy starts to uncontrollably flutter around his fingers. your cries are mixed with his name, and soft grunts of praise from heeseung.Â
heeseung slows his pace to let you breathe from your climax. he carefully slips his fingers out of you, and you wince as your pussy tries to flail against nothing now, so spread open from his fingers.Â
you watch as heeseung insert his fingers into his mouth, watching to catch all your juices. his eyes close at your taste, his tongue pressing all over his fingers.Â
âheeseung,â you whine from you position on the bed.Â
he pops out his fingers as he looks at you, âwhat, baby?âÂ
âplease, fuck me. want your cock inside me.â
heeseung bites his lip as he leans over top of you, âyou sure you can handle that when youâre already so fucked out?âÂ
âyes, heeseung, i can, please.âÂ
heeseung laughs at you, his hand coming down to brush his thumb over your swollen lips, âyouâre so polite, baby. how could i say no to you?âÂ
you relax back onto the bed as you let heeseung pull down your dress and panties and toss them onto the floor. your bare body makes heeseung shiver at your beauty and he canât take his eyes off of you as he starts to take off his own pants.Â
heeseungâs hard, swollen cock springs up and hits his stomach. you canât help but marvel at it as you take it in. itâs definitely the prettiest cock youâve ever seen. the small veins that traces up his length to his red tip. drops of precum were already falling down his shaft, and it only made you want him inside of you more.Â
âuh,â heeseung suddenly sounds nervous as he looks at you, âdo you have a condom?â you shake your head no, âshit, beomgyu took my last ones.âÂ
you sit up, âthatâs ok, i mean. weâre both clean right?âÂ
âyeah, i am.âÂ
âand you can pull out?â you tease him gently.Â
heeseung rolls his eyes but smiles, âyes, y/n, i can pull out.âÂ
you try to contain your excitement as heeseung crawls on top of you. you position your legs so theyâre encircling his waist. he slowly rolls his hips forward, so the tip of his cock slides in between your pussy lips.Â
âfuck,â you let out quietly as his cocks slides so easily between your walls, filling you right up. your breathing is already staggered from the intrusion. youâre fighting for your eyes to stay on heeseungâs as the pleasure already feels too much.Â
you manage to watch as heeseungâs teeth are gritting against themselves and his eyebrows are knitted together. he tries to steady himself to ease you into the stretch his cock is giving you. but its hard when youâre so warm and soft, your walls feel like velvet to him.Â
when your whines start to pick up, so does heeseungâs pace. your perked nipples are rubbing against his chest with the motion of his hips and the bed.Â
âyou feel so big, hee, i love it so much.â you tell him genuinely. heeseung leans his head down to press his lips into yours. you try to kiss him back as best as you could.Â
your lips are wet and swollen when he pulls away, âyour pussyâs gripping me so tight, baby, never wanna pull out.â his cock is hitting your g spot everytime, and you can only loosely smile at him in response.Â
heeseung seems to understand you anyways, and starts thrusting into you faster. a loud moan escapes your lips and it mixes with the wet, squelching noises.Â
âfuck, listen to how wet you are.â heeseung tells you, his own eyes rolling to the back of his head. âf-feels, so good, baby.âÂ
your head is thrown deep into your mattress, feeling no control over the rest of your body as you let heeseung pleasure you. âi-i know.â you tell him honestly and breathlessly.Â
âwanted this for so long, and now this pussyâs mine, right baby?â his voice comes out in grunts as he matches his thrusts to his words.Â
you nod loosely, âall yours, hee. just yours.â your voice sounds nothing like it usually does, and it makes heeseungâs cock grow bigger inside of her. the thought that only him and his cock can make you so drunk turns him on so fucking much.Â
both of you can feel how sticky and wet it is where your bodies meet, and it only makes you lust after each other and your highs more. youâre both sweating and can see it drip down his line of abs that you want to lick so badly. theyâre strong and prominent from dancing and you canât help but reach out and drag your fingers down them lightlyâ so different from how hard and fast he is pounding into you.Â
heeseungâs grunts ring in your ear, and you mewl out to him to keep going.Â
âyeah? you like how i fuck you, baby? like how my cock streches you out?âÂ
you nod eagerly, knowing he understands just how youâre feeling. you moan with every thrust he gives you, whines that only edge heeseung to fuck you faster. he wants to hear every moan youâre able to give.Â
âs-so big,â is all you can tell him.Â
âyeah, think you can feel me in your stomach?â heeseung asks you, moving his hand from your thigh to press down on your lower abdomen. âfeel me right there, baby?âÂ
you cry out his name at the pressure. your hand moves to grip his wrist, âfuck me harder like that, please. i s- so close. please.â you beg him, tasting the climax on your tongue at this point.Â
heeseungâs hand lands on her throat, choking her as he starts to use all his force to fuck into you. your body is jolting the bed back and forth as heeseung pounds into you. your whines turn into sobs as you feel your orgasm hit you. your body stills and your lack of oxygen makes your head feel fuzzy as heeseung continues to fuck yu through your orgasm.Â
âthatâs it, cum on my cock like a good girl.â his voice is in your ear, praising you for squeezing your wet walls around him so good.Â
when your orgasm starts to fade and you enter a fuzzy state with your pupils blown out, all you can think of is how badly you want heeseungâs cum. so, with hooded eyes you wrap your arm around his neck so he can look right into your eyes.Â
âplease cum inside of me, hee. wanna feel your cum so bad.â you whine out to him, lips pouted just begging for him to kiss them. heeseung grunts before he does just that. smashing your lips together as he continues his thrusts of pounding into you.Â
âa-are you sure you want me to cum inside?â his voice is breathless when he speaks. heâs too focused on how your pussy is even wetter from your orgasm, and how he could just slip out any second.Â
âyes, hee, please. want you to make me pregant.â you speak before you could even think properly, âwant you to fuck a baby inside of me.âÂ
âh-holy shit.â heesung sputters out, surprised by how turned on your words got him. he never knew he had a breeding kinkâ and well, neither did you until now. âyou drive me so fucking crazy, baby.â your whimpers and moans encourage heeseung to continue. he swears heâs never been so turned on in his life. âg-gonna get your tummy so full, and swollen.â
heeseungâs pace doesnât let up until he reaches his peak. his hips still as he releases his cum inside of you, his body practically laying ontop of you as you make out. you feel his warm cum fill you up. you continue to makeout until you feel heeseungâs cock completely soften.Â
heeseungâs careful to pull out of you, not wanting to overstimulate you. even though heâs gentle, you still squirm as your pussy readjusts to not having his cock inside of you. both of you watch with eager, hooded eyes as his white, cum drains out of you and onto your thighs, making them more of a mess.Â
âjesus christ thatâs so hot,â heeseung mumbles to himself, choosing to ignore the twitch of his dick at the sight. you giggle at him as you relax back into your sapphire sheets. âiâll buy you plan b in the morning, i swear.âÂ
you shrug against your mattress, âi mean it wouldnât be the worse thing to have your baby.â heeseung stops pulling on his boxers as he looks at you with eyes. âsorry,â you cringe, âi think that was the orgasm bliss talking.âÂ
heeseung chuckles and leans back over your body from where he stands, âi wanna have a baby with you y/n, but maybe lets wait until weâve dated for more than an hour.âÂ
âoh, so weâre dating now?â you tease him, wiggling your eyebrows.Â
âuh, i mean, if you, if you want to. you can say no, but i uh,âÂ
âheeseung,â you place your hand over his mouth, âshut up. yes iâll date you.âÂ
heeseung rips your hand off of his mouth and jumps onto you, pressing his lips to yours quickly out of excitement. he starts to press random kisses all over your face and neck, listening to your laughs to tell him to stop, but he doesnât of course.Â
âiâm so happy.â he tells your seriously.Â
âme, too.â you smile, but then wince when you try to move your leg.Â
âshit, stay here, iâm gonna get something to clean your legs.â heeseung presses a kiss into your temple as he flies out your bedroom door and to your shared bathroom to wet a cloth.Â
without the boy in your bed, you easily fall asleep on your mattress. no worries on your shoulders for once as your breathing calms down. you drift off before heeseung can even come back. but, you know he will be.Â
the morning sun filtered through the curtains and onto your sleeping bodies wrapped in your sapphire sheets. you realize that your once naked body was no buttoned up in the black and white flannel you stole from heeseung all those months ago when he first moved in.Â
heeseungâs arm was wrapped around your core, pulling you into his chest as he continued to sleep. you watch him for a while, not believing that he was finally more than a roommate to you, more than, uh oh, your best friendâs older brother. suddenly, youâre filled with anxiety as you watch the peaceful boy sleep.Â
as if he could somehow sense your shift in mood, heeseungâs bambi eyes open and look at you. a soft smile on his lips once he realizes that youâre also awake and still wrapped in his arms. but, his smile drops when he catches the worry that is covering your face.Â
âwhat did we do last night?â you ask him, your eyes search his for help.Â
heeseung sighs, his morning voice comes out deep in your ear as he speaks, ânothing wrong, y/n.â his hand comes up and brushes your disshelved hair out of your face, âi like you, and you like me. you donât regret it do you?âÂ
you shake your head against your pillow, âno, i donât regret anything about it or you.â you admit to him, trying to hide the shy smile that plays on your lips for a second, âbut what are we going to tell hana, sheâs going to be so mad at me.âÂ
suddenly, just as the sleep was finally leaving your body, your bedroom door bursts open, and lee hana stood there, her arms crossed over her chest.Â
âshit,â heeseung grumbled as he looked at his sister.Â
âwell, well, well, look whoâs all cozy in y/nâs bed.â hanaâs voice is loud like usual as she speaks.Â
âhana!â you sit up on your elbows, âthis isnât what it looks like, i mean-.âÂ
hanaâs laugh cuts you off, ârelax y/n. jay and i totally fell asleep in heeseungâs bed last night and i think i heard your little⌠adventure.â she winks at you, âi knew you two would hit it off eventually.âÂ
âwhat were you guys doing in my bed?â heeseung asks, but his question goes unanswered.Â
âhana, i, i canât believe this.âÂ
hana chuckles and leaned against the doorframe, âwell i did warn you that heeseung would be a catch since heâs exactly like me.â she says with a mischievous gleam in her eye. ânow, i think you guys are gonna have to resign the lease together before itâs up.â
you and heeseung exchange amused glances, the thought obviously appealing to you. your worries that have been on your mind since the day you met heeseung have now finally, finally faded as hana accepts your relationship. the relationship hana somehow knew would happen before you did. it seemed like your life was taking an unexpected but perfect turn as you laughed and teased hana to go back to her own apartment for once.Â
you smile at heeseung, happy that heâs no longer just your roommate, or your best friendâs hot older brother, but heâs your boyfriend. youâre soulmate. your connection, grown through late movie nights, chinese takeout and stupid misunderstandings is strong, and wonderful.Â
and youâre so glad that lee hana moved out.Â
@ taeghi, 2023. do not repost or reuse in anyway.
stay safe everyone :)
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........scars grained in me, darkness spilled by fate...... -19y/o -ENFP -she/they
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