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Safer sexting education

First of all, I am not encouraging anyone to do anything. And I can't stop anyone from doing anything. But I can try to teach people to be at least safe doing it. It is common knowledge that that is a reasonable approach concerning (non cyber) sex, especially about STDs and birth control, or the use of drugs. So if you're outraged or offended when I'm giving an internet safety 101 - frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn.

This isn't about age. I've seen plenty of people in their 30s and way behond doing the most basic mistakes.

This isn't about gender. Anyone can be a victim. Or an offender.

So, what could happen? What could go wrong? Everyone is immediately thinking about kidnapping and such, but a much more common thread is imho first and foremost, exposure or the threatening of exposure, aka blackmailing. We all heard stories about that girl that had to switch schools because the nudes she sent to her boyfriend got leaked or something like that. So, maybe you had the idea to do you-know-what with some random dude (or gal) from Tumblr, who doesn't know you. Good idea. But, you have absolutely no idea who you're talking to. Maybe their profile says they're from a different country. And it says their age is exactly in that range that floats your boat. But is that true? You're not the first person that came up with the idea to lie about their age on the Internet, trust me. They send you pics or have some on their blog, but is it really them? For everything you know, you could also be talking to that creepy old neighbor of yours, one of your classmates, or your uncle Touchy.

Even if they're from the other side of the globe, they still could mean harm to you. For example, what if they wanted you to do something you don't want to. And you refuse. And you'd receive as an answer something like "I found your grandad on Facebook. Do as I say or I send him the pics you already sent me." What would you do? That kind of stuff actually happens, and I heard of something like this more often than a sane person could handle.

How to avoid those threats? Simple, stay anonymous. How to stay anonymous? Not so simple, as it seems. Here's some advice:

Don't tell your full name or have it as blog name/ nickname or something like that. Obviously.

Don't tell your address, or workplace, or school, or your sports club, and so on. Basically anything that could make it easy to find you or your family within a few seconds simply by using google.

Don't have the same blog name/nickname on different social media. That's probably the most common mistake. Keeping your nsfw blog anonymous is worth shit when you have an Instagram account or tiktok with the same name where you're interacting with your friends and family. You're just making yourself an easy target when you do that.

Don't send pics you have on sfw social media. Maybe you want to send that cute selfie from insta. Don't. Why? Three words: reverse image search. Takes seconds and every idiot can do that.

A second blog for NSFW might not be enough. Like when you like with your main, and reblog with your second blog... Yeah, at least the blog you're interacting with rn knows who you are. I see that all the time.

Check the stuff you send for privacy leaks, even in the heat of the moment. Common example I see all the time: ID card under the phone cover.

Take caution when you're switching the conversation somewhere else. For example when give your your telegram account, you give out your phone number by default.

Amazon wish list? Afaik you're giving out your full name and address to anyone sending you something by default.

That's just some very simple advice to keep some basic level of internet anonymity. Why interacting at all with someone when you can't have that basic level of trust, you might ask. Don't look at it that way. It's more like locking the door of your house every night. To keep the bad guys away. That doesn't mean to never open the door for someone.

This isn't giving anyone advice who wants to take advantage of someone. That'd be like telling a thief "those locks, they can get picked, you know?" They know. And everyone knows how to google.

Also it's important to be aware how you're interacting with each other. I'm not giving out relationship advice here, you do you, and we don't kinkshame here. But maybe you should be able to spot the common forms of manipulation, like for example love bombing. And most importantly, trust your gut. But there are many good posts about how to spot a fake dom and so on on Tumblr.

Did this post make you feel uncomfortable or even regretting something? Great! That means I made my point! Have a nice day and stay safe!

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