Things You Probably Didn’t Know About David Webster

Rest of Easy Company when facing a problem: *solves it normally*

Speirs when facing a problem:

Nobady :

Absolutely nobady in easy company:

David Webster :

Imagine...

...Omega!Speirs giving Alpha!Lipton little shiny gifts as a courting request and Lipton being confused why there’s a fork on his bunk.  

Easy in Bastogne: We might be okay. [Huge explosion.] Well, no, probably not now."

Perconte: “....Speirs is going to kill us for this, isn't he?”

Christenson: “....Maybe we shouldn’t tell him.”

Speirs: “Maybe you shouldn’t tell me what?”

Nix: *almost gets shot in the head*

Winters:

pretty much how that scene went

David Webster: [hugs Jones]

Chuck Grant: You’re awfully quiet, Joe.

Joe Liebgott, looking at Jones: Nobody plans a murder out loud.

Lipton: Why is there blood everywhere? ? ! !

Speirs: I may have aggressively poked someone with a knife .

Lipton: yoU STABBED SOMEONE! ! ?? ! ?

Speirs: No no, aggressively poked them with a knife.

the office x webbgott

A’ight, hear me out—

Just imagine Tangled

but with Eugene as Rapunzel

and Babe as Flynn Rider

And instead of Eugene having the whole magic hair thing, it’s his hands that heal people.

And at the end of the story instead of getting his hair cut off, he is cursed by his evil godmother to never be able to heal someone ever again. (And of course he finds a loophole. I mean, how could he not? He’s Eugene fucking Roe.)