Today At Work There Was A Dude With A Chihuahua In His Bag, And It Was Quite Cute (I Don’t Like Chihuahuas

jesus fucking christ look at all these fragile pieces of shit who can’t watch a movie with women and poc in them I'm💀💀💀

today’s gender of the day is unfortunate time loop accidents

Dude, okay so—

Today, I was hit with the sudden craving for Togo’s (sandwich place) and I was like “wait, I had a sandwich yesterday, so half is probably still in the fridge.” I look in the fridge, and it’s gone—meaning my mom ate my Togo’s sandwich yesterday. I was sad, but I ordered another during the afternoon. I made a joke about it during dinner, knowing that my mom ate it, and my Dad wouldn’t have (because he doesn’t like it, and won’t eat other peoples food). And what do I come to find at 11:45 but my mom EATING THE REST OF THE SANDWICH THAT I ORDERED TODAY.

trans people taking testosterone need to drink orange juice cause testosterone weakens your immune system!! trans people taking estrogen need to drink milk cause estrogen causes calcium to be absorbed less

interviewer: Mr. Wayne, have you heard of the popular internet jokes about you dating Batman?

bruce wayne: Yes I have heard of them, but if I were going to date any superhero it'd be Superman and not an overdramatic furry

New photos from loki in Avengers Endgame by Luca Vannella

What kinda ‘holier than thou’ bullshit is this?

farcry villain

Sport

You: Loki, do you play any sports?

Loki: I run away from my feelings.

https://twitter.com/jijijibli/status/1391829463630024704?s=19

—𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒔𝒂𝒚 𝒉𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒕 𝒊𝒔 𝒔𝒆𝒕 𝒊𝒏 𝒔𝒕𝒐𝒏𝒆

summary: In your few months of marriage to Loki Odinson you have found a few things: he is softer than he looks, a worse liar than he lets on, and a lover of grand gestures.

pairing: loki laufeyson x reader

genre: fluff and smut

word count: 6.5k

warnings: oral + vaginal sex, uhmmmm writing thats too descriptive

note: also available on ao3!! i’m so glad yous liked the first part so here is the second! She’s not as long but she’s a tad sweeter

part 1: the little dove and her serpent / part 3: even the stars can be hollow

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