Reposting To Read Later When I'm Done With Work Cause The Small I Read Already Has Me Dying 🩷🩷🩷🙌🏻

STOP IM SOBBING 😭

EVERY CORNER OF THIS HOUSE IS HAUNTED. (2)

Synopsis ! Jake had taken you as his own after Tsu'tey's passing, leaving no one to care for you. Things had been good before your relationship with him had blurred along growing of age. You and him fought all the time; argued each other's ear off and tonight was no different-- except words have been said, severing the already damaged bond. Content & warning Jake sully x Daughter!Reader, Sully kids x Sister!Reader Neytiri x Daughter!Reader. (wc: 5264)

You swung your legs over the edge, feet ghosting just above the calm lake that surrounded this part of the forest. It was a bit far from the village, but you felt more at ease knowing that you wouldn’t be found easily. This was your own place and ironically enough, a spot you and Jake had found years ago. You could see the familiar marks left from the arrows you had shot, deeply engraved in some of the trunks. 

One drawing had caught your eye. From one of the trees, a bit taller than the rest; an image of you and your father. It was silly, clearly etched by the hands of a kid no older than six. The lines were harsh as the wood itself was tough, but it was there– almost mockingly. You scoffed, mindlessly grabbing a pebble and flinging it right on the center. 

You have barely moved since you arrived here; detached yourself the moment you had sat near the jagged rocks. It was a habit you presumed you got from Jake. The longer you stayed, the more you succumbed to your ever-bleeding wounds– there was just something so tragic about being an eldest daughter.   

You weren’t all bite, despite the constant snarl on your lips. You weren't so egotistical as to think that you couldn't possibly be wrong, but tonight, tonight you knew damn well Jake was to blame. 

‘Is it because I’m not your daughter?’ 

Your own voice had rang through your mind. You wince in response, cringing internally. That could very well be the case– you weren't part of their family. You can’t help but think that they may have done it out of pity. 

But Kiri wasn’t exactly their own either. In fact, you and Kiri weren’t at all opposites at birth.

While you came from Tsu’tey, she was from Grace; both of you from separate blood and brought together by one. However you weren’t exactly close to Eywa or have the skills she possessed. Kiri was undeniably special– spiritual and awfully attuned. Heck, she had managed to tame her own ikran simply by asking it to be her friend. 

Still, there was no reason for Jake to treat you differently. You were jealous– of course you are. If he’s able to be as gentle as he is with your baby sister, why couldn’t he with you? It was a sickening thought, to think that he acts so rigid and unrelenting around you while he looked at her like she had hanged every star in the night sky. Sure Kiri was special, but you were at least his daughter too. Can’t he spare you even just a second of a loving glance?

With Kiri, he listens intently– looks at her with such tenderness as he takes in her every word. It was the same gaze he wore whenever we visited the sky-people lab; Jake would stare a bit too long at Grace, expression somewhere along the line of reminiscing. Whenever he had moments like these, his eyes would hold some sort of longing– a promise. Perhaps it was because Grace meant the world to him– literally. She taught him everything about Pandora, showed him the way of the Na’vi; gave him another shot at living. 

Kiri was exactly like her mother; wise and cunning. Jake probably sees Grace in her very image.  

You’d think this would be the embodiment of every father with their daughters; kind and vulnerable, but you would argue otherwise. When he looked at you, it was more of regret– grief prolonging. It was a gaze so ugly and unwanted; a weight you’re not supposed to carry. 

Because you’re exactly like Tsu’tey and Jake sees him in yourself. 

It was no secret that Jake was softer when it came to Tuk and Kiri. While you are relieved that it had been that way, you can never pray for them to experience the struggles you are burdened with– it tugged on your heartstrings that you would never feel the warmer side of your father; will never know how it feels to be babied nor to be held gently. 

You were her daughter too so you didn’t understand. What made you any different from them that you had to pretend his love was hidden beneath his icy glares and dismissive grunts? These were emotions nonetheless– however odd or minuscule they may have been. You thought that maybe, just maybe, there’d be a crack to this exterior. Maybe if you tried harder, Jake would soften up to you too. 

But that wasn’t the case because he never did. You had picked apart pieces of yourself that you thought weren’t pleasing– did better despite your age. You were young and only yearned for your father’s approval. 

( “You’re not doing it right. Again.” 

As you stretched your already sore arms for the nth time, ready to take aim, his hands tug on your stance– a bit harsher than intended. Light continued to glare down on your figure as you tirelessly corrected your posture again. Your ears pricked up at the sound of your sibling’s laughter, coming to you from afar. You stole a glance at them as they continued to play and enjoy themselves by the water, their childish exuberance highlighted by their splashing around in the shallow waves.

“Can’t I take a break?” You whined, dropping your stiff shoulders. Hearing them have fun made you want to jump in as well. 

“I didn’t let you talk my ear off just to give up. Come on, you promised me a bullseye today, baby girl.” He said, eyebrows furrowing a bit. You look down to your feet, a bit embarrassed. You didn’t want him to not take you seriously– you fear that if you let him down now, he wouldn’t let you do anything again. “Just one hit and I’ll let you off–”

His head turns sharply towards Kiri as she calls out for Jake, asking him to join them in their game. He can't help but to let out a small chuckle as he yells back a short response of ‘in a minute.’

“Again, come on.” His hands move quickly and firmly grasp your arms, helping you back to the same position before. “I’ll be watching, promise.” With a light tap on your shoulder, he rushes off, chasing after your siblings towards the water.

The quicker you got it done, the sooner you would be able to play. You pulled on the string again and released a heavy sigh before releasing the arrow. After several tries of firing shots that missed their mark, you finally managed to hit dead center with one shot. Your eyes widen in surprise, disbelief crossing your face before you jump excitedly, “Did you see that, dad? Did you–”

Your yell was instantly drowned out by Lo'ak's hearty laugh. You couldn't help but feel deflated as you watched your father lift him up onto his shoulders while the others trailed behind them in a fit of giggles. You run towards them, bow in hand. 

“You weren’t watching–” You tried to pull his hand in your direction, gesturing towards the arrow that was still firmly embedded into the red ring you had created on the trunk of the tree.

"Ah, darn, I missed it?" He said between breathy chuckles as Kiri tried to tug on his tail from behind, barely taking note of your work. "Why don't you do it again? This time I'll be sure to pay attention."

“But I want to play with you now.” 

“Dad– Neteyam caught something! It’s huge, come look!” Jake slowly lowers Lo'ak from his shoulders, letting them pull him towards where Neteyam stood. The children squealed at the sight of the fish (with Kiri letting out a few disgusted gags), but Jake reveled in pride. “Yeah, Neteyam, the mighty fisherman!”

You stayed still on the shore watching them– watching him. It was so easy to lose your father’s attention despite your best efforts. You retreated back to your spot, eyes glaring at the arrow sticking out from the tree. If a single bullseye wasn’t enough to impress Jake, then you’d just have to perfect your aim. Your hits will never miss again and you’ll make him proud.) 

You were clueless. If only you knew that there was no satisfying your father, you would’ve spent the days tirelessly training to play instead– to be an actual kid without having the worries of a grown adult. 

You could leave. At the thought of it, your head swiveled towards the unfamiliar path that would take you away from the clan– away from everything you know. You could leave and never come back; take your father’s name and build your own person. There was this selfish thought pricking at the back of your brain that once they noticed your absence, everyone would look for you and even feel sorry for what they put you through; that Jake would be sorry to lose you. 

You wonder what kind of reputation you'd leave for him when everyone realizes you had run away, never to come back. But it was unfair– your mother would be devastated. Neytiri had already gone through enough, were you worth another heartbreak? She didn’t deserve that. 

Suppose you could only dream that Jake would put on an effort for a search party– for him to grow hopeless and regretful while searching for you. You could only dream that he’d run towards you, arms wide open. “You scared me, sweetheart. I thought I lost you. I’m sorry, dad’s sorry.” 

But you’ve been away for hours and no one has reached out yet. They probably assumed that you only needed some time and space to clear your head, not seeing any cause for alarm. The only thing that waited for you back home was a hell of a scolding and a week’s punishment of tending the ikrans. Sighing, you decided to just head back.  

Your steps are careful– silent, as you near your hut again. You expected for the worst. Neytiri could have told Jake to stay guard outside until you finally decided to come home for all you know, but you weren’t ready for another heated conversation with him just yet. So as you make your way back, you stick your neck out behind the bushes, trying to make out of the surroundings. 

Surprisingly, it wasn’t Jake that was waiting outside. It was Kiri. Her figure glows underneath the starry night and it was hard not to be discouraged, but you suppose it was better than having to deal with your father again. 

"Kiri?" You called out in a low voice, and instantly her head snapped up. She quickly jumps to her feet upon seeing your arrival, heart racing as she rushes towards you. Without hesitation, she wraps her arms tightly around you in a hug. She closes her eyes and takes a deep breath to try and steady herself. “Oh great mother, thank you.”

You tentatively put your arms around her in response, hands patting the top of her head. “This isn’t the first time I ran from home,” Your voice is soft– unsure. 

Feeling your hesitance, she slowly withdraws from you. “But it’s the first time sempul has said something so..” She stops herself mid-sentence, shaking her head as if to clear away her thoughts. “I worry you’d finally want to leave.” 

You stared at her, feeling your insides soften. You could never get angry at Kiri, no matter the situation. You couldn’t just leave. She was your sister still and no one would ever understand you like she does. No one will ever grow you another sibling. As much as you hated yourself, you were meant to watch as she thrives.  

Siblings were such a weird concept; it was hard for you to wrap your head around it. Despite the fact that you could hate them with every fibre of your being, you’d still love them unconditionally and protectively; despise them but burn down the whole universe for their safety. It made no sense to be so full of such strong, conflicting emotions all at once, but she was your sister and that was enough explanation.

“Stupid eywa-powers.” You joke as you take your index finger, lightly pressing it against her forehead. She playfully swats your hand away with a laugh, eyes crinkling.

She silently murmurs, “Not stupid” to herself, a small laugh escaping her lips.

You two slowly sat on your wicker chairs in front of the fire. The seat creaked as you made yourself comfortable. Jake was real handy with his hands back then– made all sorts of things for everyone. Wooden Toruks, comfortable hammocks, and each one a special chair. Everyone’s name was etched on the back and although it was a bit smaller now, considering it was made for when you were toddlers, no one had grown out of sitting on it. 

You smiled at the memory. It was like tradition for the Sully family– a silly one, but loved nonetheless. He first made you the wicker chair and although it was rather flimsy, you argued that Neteyam should have one as well when he came around. 

It was so conflicting– to be able to remember your father was mean, despite being kind, then to know him as kind, despite being mean. You fear Jake could be every word you think of but the word father. 

“Remember that time when we played hide-and-seek and we all thought Lo’ak cheated by hiding back at home only to find out we left him at the forest?” Kiri spoke, eyes fixated at the flames. 

You chuckled, “Yeah, even dad was in on it– told us not to tell mom that we left him.”

“Oh– and that one time they left us to Mo’at to have their little dates and came home to see grandma knocked out and her hut a mess?”

You laughed, rather loudly this time. You remembered the memory like it was yesterday– little Neteyam wrapped from head to toe in bandages as you two tried to play healers; pastes and herbs were scattered everywhere while Lo’ak was playing to his own devices happily (something about kid Lo’ak and wanting to play alone most of the time). “Lo’ak and his lisp trying to explain why he was covered in warrior paint all over his body.”

“Ki-ti told me to do it!” Kiri squeaked out in her best impression of Lo’ak, before both of you burst into smothered laughter— careful not to wake anyone up. After taking a few moments to catch your breath, the area was silent once more. There was no sound other than the crackle of the fire, its flame illuminating the darkness in the vicinity. 

“I’m trying to see the situation in both perspectives,” She starts once the quietness grows unbearable. You averted your gaze, not wanting to talk it out with her.

“I really don’t wanna talk about it, Kiri.” You threw your head back, your eyes burning a hole into the night sky.

“I just don’t want it to explode like what happened a while ago again.” 

You kiss your teeth and let out an exasperated sigh, tongue clicking as you exhale. Deep down you knew that there was no getting out of this situation, so you may as well hear what they had to say. “Fine. What’s your diagnosis, doc?” 

The flap of the hut's entrance is suddenly thrown back, revealing a rather disoriented looking Lo'ak stumbling out. It's clear he had just been stirred from his slumber. “You two aren’t as quiet as you think you are.” He said, his voice low. He made his way over to Kiri and sat down beside her with an audible yawn. “What is it this time?”

“Eywa tells me of your troubles,” Kiri starts, ignoring Lo’ak. “Father isn’t at all the greatest, I know, but he’s trying– His choices aren't really the best, but it’s what he knows. If you think about it, he was just as young once and you don’t exactly become a father twice.” 

“What are you saying?” 

“She’s saying– cut him some slack, maybe?” Lo'ak breaks the stillness with an unexpected remark, his voice quite loud in comparison to Kiri's careful words. His comment catches you off guard and you shift your position uncomfortably on your seat.

“Brother, you really have to stop going out with Spider. You and your lingo is getting harder and harder to discern.” Kiri jabs him from the side, “What he means to say is– maybe you should try being the bigger person instead?”

You let out a deep breath through your nostrils, not enjoying the direction of the conversation. Your brow crinkles in concentration as you try to make sense of why the discussion was taking this turn. You had no desire to pick apart the problem any further and yet, here you were– perhaps Neytiri told them to talk some sense to you? To quiet down for the sake of your old man?

Already sensing your anger, Lo’ak quickly interjects again. “Listen, It’s like,” He turns to you, the grogginess in his expression fading away and being replaced by something more serious. “If dad happens to reprimand us, we save our excuses or any reason we have. The response he wants is an apology and an apology is what you’re going to say– that’s it.”

“But that’s unfair.” You let out a groan, lips turning into a deep frown. “Especially to you and Neteyam.”

Lo’ak only lets out a playful scoff, as if he’s trying to lighten the mood. “You mean, especially to Neteyam. Bro’s an automated machine– expect him to immediately take the blame.” He says, grinning. “I think dad is just.. cracking the code still? Shit, I don’t know. He had to learn to live on two different stars. It must be hard on him.”

“Doesn’t it hurt you? Trying to understand someone older?” 

Lo’ak stills for a minute as heavy silence envelopes everyone. “Of course it does. It stings a lot sis– but I think, no parent deserves a resentful son when all they wanted was for me to be better.” 

Then it crashes down upon you like a heavy sack filled with rocks, a realization pressing directly against your chest as you watch Lo’ak’s face, illuminated against the flicker of the flames– the lights cast an image you failed to recognize before. Your brothers weren’t exactly immune to Jake’s ways either. He was equally as tough on them. 

Maybe you can try for their sake. Maybe you should take the initiative instead of waiting for your father’s open arms. 

“Why don’t you join us tomorrow instead? Take your mind off things. We’re visiting the old shack with Spider,” Lo'ak's hand carefully reaches for your hair, the tips of his fingers ruffling through your braids– a gesture he picked up after Neteyam. You chuckle, suddenly slightly embarrassed. 

“Isn’t it dangerous?” You ask, eyebrows furrowed. 

“It is,” Kiri answers for Lo’ak, giving him a pointed glare. “Tuk heard about it and is begging to come along.” 

“More like blackmailed me– I’ll tell mom if you won’t let me come.” He put on a mocking impression of Tuk, sticking his tongue out in an exaggerated way. Kiri gave him another jab, causing him to hiss in response. “But it should be safe.” 

Kiri rolls her eyes. “We are so getting into trouble.”

“You guys go,” You say, back resting against the chair again. “Think I should fix the situation with dad first before getting in trouble again.” 

You feel Kiri’s eyes on you– gaze emitting a sense of gratitude, almost like a tangible thank you for trying. It’s funny how she’s younger than you and yet she looked out for you more than you had. 

You let out a deep sigh as the three of you settled in, reveling in the quiet serenity of the woods. The soft sounds of the forest enveloped you, providing a sense of calm that was hard to miss. Slowly, it lulled you all to a familiar kind of comfort. 

Breakfast was unsurprisingly silent. 

You felt like the room was full of robots, their limbs jerking and movements mechanically programmed as they ate. As everyone shifted ever so slightly, it seemed almost like they were doing it robotically - stiff and slow. It was like they were walking on eggshells around you and it was hard not to roll your eyes. 

It was painfully awkward– a hard watch as Jake tried hard not to make eye contact with you. Neytiri would occasionally jab him from the side and pinch the fat of his thigh. ‘Talk to her.’ – her glare would send him the message. 

He lets out a sigh before visibly gulping. “Y/n.” 

Your head suddenly jerks upwards from the bowl resting in your lap, startled by your father’s voice calling for you. Neytiri watches in anticipation while your heart pounded madly against your chest. Suddenly, the air fills with tension as all movement ceases. Not a single soul speaks or breathes– waiting.

“Pass the salt.” Jesus Christ. 

You give him a deadpan expression, stretching your arms over to pass it to him. He carefully takes it, shaking it over his already salty meal. Neytiri could only push her hands against her face in frustration, a groan of exasperation coming from deep within. After a few minutes, she finishes up and leaves with Tuk in her arms. The rest follow suit.  

“I’m off,” You finish cleaning up the table, standing up from your seat and grabbing the weapons you needed for an impromptu hunt. Without waiting for a reply, you left Jake alone on the table. 

As you trekked further into the forest, you prayed to Eywa for guidance. You were careful to smear the war paint onto your cheeks and forehead– breathing labored, but focused nonetheless. 

You figured, your father has been doing bad from the recent hunts– only coming home with fruits and small portions of meat, sometimes none at all. It was that kind of season where the animals were out to hide and hibernate. You didn’t know where you got the confidence that you’d be able to return with something, considering the best next best warriors could hardly do so. 

You had to try regardless; you thought that perhaps it could be a way for you and Jake to open up a conversation with each other. Maybe he could soften down his glare a bit when you come home with something to eat– but as hours passed and the sun burned to noon, you were only met with disappointment. 

You stopped by an unfamiliar area, leaning against a tree as you tried to catch your breath. You regret not bringing your ikran with you– just what were you thinking?

As if the great mother had noticed your desperation, a familiar sound roars from a distance. Your ears perked up as you tried to walk through the thick bushes. A lone sturmbeest, drinking by the river. You sighed in relief before hurriedly taking your bow out of your back. They mostly traveled by a herd, but today might just be your luckiest– you stretch your arms, carefully approaching the animal. 

Just this once, you pleaded, be in my favor. 

The journey home was dreadful. You had been carrying meat and a few bones for what seemed like hours on end, feeling the strain in your back from the task. It was a small sturmbeest– presumably female by the size, but it should be enough to provide meals for a week or so. Before you knew it, eclipse approached fast and you were eager to meet your hammock. 

You couldn’t see; unable to hold any form of light as you needed both hands to carry the heavy sack, but the thought of going home with something to proudly show your father rekindled the sense of pride that was long gone; a feeling you hadn't had in a long time– burned by the countless times you’ve tried to gain even a drop of recognition.

You were successful in hunting a sturmbeest when no one couldn’t for the past weeks– your father would be proud and that was all the strength you needed to continue waking. 

Noticing the familiar path back to the clan, a surge of adrenaline courses through your body from the thought of already nearing home. But as the horns blared from the village, you felt nothing but confusion– What could it mean and why this late? You quickened your pace towards them. 

Ikrans flew in, landing at the open space as everyone gathered around. You squeezed your way in through the crowd– stomach churning as the sound of Tuk's cries became more and more clear with every step; but before you could run to your baby sister, you were harshly pulled back. You immediately recognize your father’s calloused hands, but this time his grip was harsh– unrelenting. Careful not to trip on your feet, you steadied yourself, head looking up to meet his glare. 

“Where were you?” 

And just like that, your thoughts come crashing down around you from the sight of your father towering your figure, leaning in slightly. You feel it in the pit of your stomach; this wasn't what you wanted to come home to, this wasn't what you were expecting.

“Sir I–” 

“The kids are hurt,” Neytiri hissed, tugging him sharply away from you. “For once, hold your tongue.”

He gives you one last glance, nostrils flaring as he walks away. That was your cue to trail behind. You walked behind him, eyes cast downwards as your thoughts raced through your mind. Neytiri is quick to come and stand by your side, soft kisses pressed into the top of your head. “Are you hurt, ma’ite? Where were you?” She softly asks. 

You pause, feeling the words on the tip of your tongue leave the moment you try to open your mouth to speak. For some reason, you felt embarrassed— ashamed. 

“What happened?” You whispered as you neared your grandmother’s hut. You glanced back to your sibling’s shivering figures, all of them unable to look you in the eye. Neytiri didn’t answer either– didn’t know how to tell you that they had found them once again. They processed the severity of the situation still, clearly shaken up and scared. 

Everyone stepped inside, Mo'at immediately gathering each of them in a warm embrace. She spoke her thanks to Eywa in a gentle murmur, kissing the top of their heads. Neytiri quickly drew Tuk into her own arms, easing her shaking body. 

“Outside, now.” Jake whispers before leaving. You take one last look around at all the people in the room before finally following him, your palms beginning to sweat as your anxiety intensifies.

Once you both find yourselves in a place where there were no lingering stares or whispers, (and without Neytiri having to save your ass this time), he turns to you, anger just as fiery as before. He strides back and forth, feet heavy on the ground as he attempts to choose his words carefully.

“I–” He started to speak, but then averted his gaze, his jaw clenched tight as he tried again. “Where were you?” 

You try to swallow the lump forming in your throat as you mull over the question, taking a deep breath before finally attempting to answer. “I went out on a hunt. I have–”

“Without telling anyone firsthand? With scattered avatars over the perimeter?” Jake is quick to interject, arms flailing in anger. “Just what were you thinking? You knew about them going to the old shack and you did nothing to prevent it?” 

Your shoulders slump wearily, feeling extremely overwhelmed. “I only wanted to–”

“Jesus Christ, it’s always about what you want, yeah? You with wanting to be olo’eykte, you with wanting to be heard. You and your goddamn wants had us all worried!” 

And as you listen to him raise his voice, you turn younger and younger– until you were that same kid trying to tug on his arms to look at your first hit; that same kid who would do anything just for a moment of his time. It was like being ten years old all over again and realizing that he was slowly slipping away. That’s where you finally decided that Jake— your father, was just capable of unloving a child. 

You take a step back, feeling the frustration boiling over as well. “Well maybe if you were a better father, they wouldn’t have the need to go against you every once in a while!” You shouted with the same volume as his, “You act as if we’re some sort of troops rather than a family–”

“I do it for you– for everyone! To keep them safe! You think it’s easy?” 

“Well you did a pretty good job because from what I see, they’re shaking in their boots inside grandma’s hut!” You sarcastically remarked, “Best dad of Pandora, yeah?” 

“Jesus Christ,” He mutters under his breath before looking up, as if he was pleading for Eywa to lengthen his patience. He then looked at you, eyes momentarily softening. You were breathing heavily, fangs baring. It was funny, he thought. You weren’t his daughter and yet you stood in front of him now looking exactly like him. 

What he didn’t understand was that it wasn't Tsu’tey’s attitude that was passed down to you– rather, it was Jake’s anger you inherited. This was all him. All his fault. 

“I thought I had it good, having Toruk Makto as a father. Five year old me was the proudest, if not a bit boastful too.” You muttered, gaze not meeting his. “There’s this huge difference that draws the line between being the olo’eyktan and a father and you’re doing a real shit job at the latter.”

I miss the latter, you failed to say. 

You failed to see the way his ears flattened against his head, how his shoulders dropped like he couldn’t hold the weight of the world’s pressure anymore– but you were unable to see him. No, you two didn’t see each other eye to eye. To know that you failed your child was something a parent would never want to hear. His own daughter resented him and it was a heartache beyond repair. 

“You think you make parenting any easier for me?” 

“Then I wish you never took me in!” 

It was such a thoughtless thing to do; to utter words that you know will only harm you more than they would ever heal - but it was there, finally out of your system; a though that lingered for as long as you can remember. Why take me in? Why raise a kid you wouldn't be able to care for?

You only wished that words could be undone but neither of you knew when to bite one's tongue back.

“Yeah?” He challenged, letting out a mocking snicker. “I really wish I didn’t– is that what you want me to say? Then go ahead and leave. Find a new family, see if they won’t find you any less difficult.”

And that was the final blow– the push you needed to leave. You looked at him in disbelief, vision blurry with tears. You shoved the bag right to his chest, forgetting it momentarily amidst the shouting session you just had with your father; the one you desperately wanted to present to him. With nothing else to say, you stormed off, leaving him behind. 

Oh Eywa, there is nothing else as undoing as being an eldest daughter. 

believe me, i've been trying to post this since 7 am and it's already a quarter 'til 9. tumblr has got to b fucking w me bec i just ran through at least 4 problems trying to get this on my account

anyway, hellaur. i know this is a bit overdue, but i had to make adjustments because i just had to get everyone's inputs and opinions in! i absolutely LOVE everyone's ideas nd you best believe i am trying to make everything word (also bec of the fact that i am a slow writer, so pls bear w me) hopefully i'm doing the story justice! this part went through a lot of modifications bec i kept feeling unsatisfied (i still am, kinda)

also, i couldn't tag a few people! 'm so sorry, some of the names don't pop up when i type it down ;(

tags: @erm2020quinzeanos @al-lethan @violilaqrs @sparklyphantom @iwanttohitmyself @planetslove @teyamsjustsleeping @sully-stick-together @grandgreengrapes @erensbbg @queen-dk @loaklvr @theyoungeagle @ducks118 @teyyyteyyy @yeosxxx @simply-lovely78 @ellabellabus07 @thehoneymushroomhealer @saturdayrj @kingjulian0o9 @hippiezworldz @joemamalackin @random-3455 @zoetrope1997 @cl0esblogg @anxietydrogz @lokisfirstandlastwife @hiddensnow1 @lunyyx @pearlsandcoconuts @blkmystery @marsbars09 @gcldtom @luna-salem @wolflover384 @mushy-mushroom04 @whatthemonsterfuckisthis @eternalidentity @celi-xxmoon @dumb-fawkin-bitch

I'm a damn mess 😭😭 this was so beautiful but so damn painful 🧡😭😭

Synopsis: Your worst nightmare comes to life after you receive a call well after midnight that isn't from your husband Bakugou but about him. Rushing to the hospital you're thankful to find him alive but when he comes to he asks to see his wife despite you standing there.

Warnings: Angst

A/N & wc: just something quick I whipped up, 3.6k

This is what you wanted isn't it?

All along you begged the Gods for this.

Asking with hot tears streaming down your face that you wished that you weren't here. Not dead but that you never truly existed at all. That no one could remember you and it would be that much easier to be nothing in the wind.

The Gods have a cruel sense of humor, granting your wish, much to your dismay, at an extremely shitty time in your life.

The call comes in the middle of the night, another fear you've had since you married him. Worry clawing up your stomach as your clammy hands reach for the phone. It's Kirishima, it's just Kirishima. He just wants to chat right?

At 2am he just wants to ask about your day doesn't he?

Deep down in the very marrow of your bones you know that's not true. Not even able to fool yourself for a second as your groggy voice shakes with a weak "H-hello?"

Kirishima comes out and just says it. Explains it all but it's as if he's speaking a different language. You barely make out Bakugou and the name of the hospital before the ringing in your ears is deafening. He goes on for what feels like hours as your mind plays out grotesque, horrifying images of what may be left if your husband.

He never got hurt.

Ever.

He promised.

He fucking promised he'd be okay. He always does when he kisses you goodbye. When you say stay safe and he affirms with a hum and "I will. For you I will."

But you didn't say stay safe this time did you? No you spat insults at him, hormonal, pms fueled rage over something he couldn't even control.

He was a superhero. He should be able to control everything.

"Sweetheart, I'm fuckin late." Is what he growled and when he leaned in for a kiss. You leaned away.

"That's it. I'm coming to get you." Kirishima hisses about to hang up when you tell him you're fine. That you'll be there and he can go home to his own worrying and extremely pregnant wife.

You use your quirk, illegally, flying at the speed of light to get to the hospital. Rushing out the syllables of your new last name, Bakugou in such a rush the nurse asks you three more times before you spy Kirishima's hands running through his red mane as he steps outside an ICU room.

Pushing past the nurse, biting your tongue as you rush towards Kirishima. Ignoring his warning as he tries to catch you as you slip under his large arms. Through the heavy door and pulling past the curtain.

It's worse than you imagined and yet still not as bad. He's unconscious, an oxygen mask over his face but thankfully no tube snaking down his throat. You launch yourself at his side, the slow beep from the monitor by your head reassures you he was still breathing.

Still alive.

Your palms are clammy again as it all comes rushing into focus. With each beep comes new information piled on top of the other. First is the pungent smell of cleaner. Disinfecting anything and everything until it's bleaching the lining of your lungs. Then comes the cold, thick plastic of the bed handle beneath your hands. Groaning from your grip as your heart rate increases.

Beep

The stiff blankets, they're scratchy and all wrong. Bakugou doesn't like this type of "cheap shit". He's more high maintenance than you. He likes tightly woven or soft down comforters.

Beep

Red, the bandages on his chest are weeping red. So much fucking color clashing with the white gauze. That can't be right. It'll get on this stupid scratchy blanket. The sharp inhale brings in more sanitation, your breath becomes more shallow. Teeth grinding and competing with the sound ringing in your head.

Beep

It's dark, it's so fucking dark in here you can barely see. Where are his eyes? Why won't his eyes open? You're whispering his name so softly like you do when he's worked overnight and you're leaving for work by mid morning. His crimson eyes always open. Always crinkle when he says goodbye. Why can't you see his fucking eyes?

Beep

Why

Beep

Is he gonna..

Beep

"Hey." A solid hand clamps onto your shoulder pulling you out of your spiral. Bringing you to shore with his rough grip, "Are you sure you'll be okay?"

At some point Kirishima has pulled up the reclining chair for you, offering it silently with one of those stupid, shitty scratchy blankets. You feel your skin crawl and not from the low thread count.

Eyes flickering back towards your husband of three years.

Three whole years and he's just going to leave like this? Like a candle snuffed out by…by

By some damn extra?!

Kirishima watches your labored breathing, he is never going to go back on the promise he made his best friend and the one Bakugou made in turn.

"She's stubborn. Look after her if something fuckin happens."

"I'm staying with you. I'll ask the nurse to-"

"No!" It comes out too quick, too loud as you turn on him like a wild animal. For just a moment you can see it. Dully reflected in his eyes in this damned low light, your reflection. What he sees.

A scared little girl who's about to lose her shit.

You clear your throat, straightening your back before you breathe out deeply.

"Your wife is going to pop any minute. You need to be available for her." You say sternly, pretending this was something so much more mundane. Like you've missed the bus or the taxi Bakugou sent for you.

A small inconvenience, yea that's all this was. You were just going to be late, late to see Bakugou and-

"You're sure?" Thunderous voice threatens to crack, looking over his friend, making it harder on you.

"Yes. You're injured, yourself. Besides your paternity leave starts the second she goes into labor and as office manager I do have a say on that. In fact it starts now." There it is, there's that stern voice he's used to. The light scolding you've always given him and Bakugou for the last five years.

Kirishima seems to give it some thought, a lot of thought.

"Eiji, please I'll be okay." You smile up at him, lips twitching at how difficult it is to turn them upward when all you want to do is scream. Scream until the burn of bleach is replaced from the raw emotion that's bubbling up your throat.

The large man shifts his weight, debating giving you a hug and when he sees your body closed off, hands white knuckled on the bed frame he thinks better of it.

"You better call me if you need anything. At least give me that okay?"

"Okay." You appease him, still forcing the smile and hoping he'll get the fuck out.

Finally he does, staring you down with a soft goodbye and a stern I mean it that you wave off. Until finally he shuts the big, scary door.

Leaving you alone with that sound that is both reassuring and yet nauseating.

Beep

Beep

Beep

And this time you can't hold back the tears.

Crying enough tears to fill up two weeks. Almost drowning in the amount shed as the doctor reassures you he'll wake soon. He has healthy brain wave activity and he's breathing on his own.

"All good signs. Try more of his favorite music."

It's all they can say. All they can give you to cling onto as you replay your last words to him.

Hateful, cruel things.

Over the stupidest fucking fight.

"It's because you're still in love with her!"

Throwing insecurities in his face and for what?

Suddenly his heart rate monitor beeps loudly, quickly chirping the increase in speed as you watch his eyes move beneath his long lashes.

Before they flutter open, looking over at you with… with

With disgust.

Your heart hammers in your chest. Was he? Was he still mad at you?

"H-hey Suki." You go to reach for the hairs that cling to his damp forehead only to be caught in his deadly hot and tight grip, "Katsuki, you're hurting me."

His free hand rips the mask from his face as he looks over at you with harsh set eyes. The intensity weakened only by his groggy state.

"Don't use my given name." A threat that has your eyes watering, "I don't even fuckin know you."

He tosses your hand back into your lap as if you were trash, eyes narrowing to slits.

"Where's my wife?"

"I am your -" But he cuts you off.

"Where the fuck is Momo?!"

Momo, Bakugou's first wife, comes quicker than you'd like. Wrapping her arms around you, sickeningly sweet perfume chokes you out, almost drowning out the harsh chemicals of the room. She came straight from the movie set, long lavish dress fit for the Mafia Princess character she was playing in some new film.

The same very ex wife who you claimed Bakugou wasn't over. Gritting your teeth as she fusses over you, as if you were a delicate thing that could break any minute and not Bakugou who lies under that itchy blanket.

"Momo, darlin." He croaks and she visibly flushes. Rushing to him, spying the blanket as well before she's using her quirk to make something more to his liking.

"Baby why weren't you here?" You can hear the strain in his voice, the emotion he's biting back as she looks down at him confused, "Are you still filming that dumb super hero movie?"

"Bakugou-"

"Katsuki." He corrects sharply, even moving his mask that the doctors fought to put back on to make sure she heard it. Momo looks over her shoulder cautiously to gauge your reaction.

"Katsuki…" It feels odd to form the syllables on her tongue, "I finished that movie seven years ago…"

"Wha-what?"

"I'm also…Ba-" His glare causes Momo to correct herself, "Katsuki, doll, we aren't married anymore. We divorced. You're married to her now."

Momo pulls you into view and Bakugou stares at his ex and "current" wife.

A long, heavy moment of silence passes before the heart monitor beeps furiously. The smell of caramel permeating the room much too quickly before the doctor rushes in.

Just as Bakugou takes in a breath to start yelling, pulling at the mask and almost ripping out his IV his body goes slack. The doctor was barely faster than him, injecting him with something to lull him back to sleep.

Especially since explosives and oxygen did not mix well.

The doctor blinks rapidly having just caught the tail end of the conversation. Memory loss was normal, expected, but possibly six years or more…

Well that wasn't, even with his long history of concussions.

With the quick assessment he turns to the two women in the room. Debating on just how to go about this as bedside manner wasn't always his strong suit.

"What I'm about to say may be difficult for you two however keep in mind this is what is going to be best for the patient and his recovery. Since he is experiencing amnesia we will have to go along with what he thinks is true right now. Just like one would when someone has dementia. There will be less stress on his body if we indulge in his perceived reality."

"For how long?" Momo asks tentatively. Doctor Yashido takes a sharp inhale.

"Until his memories return."

"And how long will that take?" Two different tones ask in unison. One a frustrated bark the other laced with deep concern.

"Could be weeks. Could be months." He swallows thickly, Yashido never was good at delivering bad news and this was almost as bad as it gets, "If they ever return at all."

The hospital floor falls away from beneath your feet. Causing you to plummet into the deep dark depths. Questions buzzing in your head battling alongside the screaming. The sound echoes in your mind whipping up the thoughts of Bakugou having never loved you. Of Bakugou thinking so little of you, of finding you so fucking annoying, like the gnat you were he went and forced himself to forget the last three years of your marriage and taking it a step further by going back far enough to forget you existed at all.

Isn't this what you wanted? What you wished for that night? That you'd wake up and you hadn't existed at all?

Beep

This wasn't about you. Fuck this was about him. Would he be happier with Momo? He never really did say why they broke up. He always said it was "just mutual" and left it at that.

Beep

At least he was alive right? You could watch him from afar again. Watch the star rise as your feet stayed firmly planted on the ground.

Beep

You could forget he ever brought you up in the night sky to dance along with him. It would be easy right?

"Love." Momo calls for the third time, manicured hands on your shoulders, "Why don't you go home for some rest. And a shower."

You stare up at her blankly, at the doctor who gives a curious look before you slowly nod.

"Yea….yea that's a good idea."

Returning the next day proves painful as you see Momo has changed, stunning even in leggings and a cropped shirt. Even took the initiative to alter the decor of his ICU room. Soft yellow string lights, a humidifier, soft fluffy blankets and silky sheets that Bakugou might bleed on anyway if he didn't stop moving around so much.

It's awkward to stand in the corner and watch them interact. To watch everyone else interact with the man you so desperately wanted to see.

And wanted him to see you in return.

But he can't now, he doesn't even know your name. And everytime you come close to the bed he stares at you with such discontent, with suspicion as if you were the dirty liar in the room.

Kirishima falls back, bumping his shoulder into yours gently. You look up at him with deep bags under your eyes.

"Mina is worried about you, ya know. She says you can stay at our place if your apartment is too…much." He offers with a strained smile, you place another lip twitching half assed smile on your own mouth.

"I'll be fine."

Yet the late hours of the night, all alone in your too big apartment, curled into his pillow that is slowly losing the smell of him haunt you the most.

A few more weeks pass and even with Bakugou's restlessness the doctors argue with him about downgrading his stay to general admission. They instead move him from the ICU to the neurology floor, making this the longest Bakugou had ever been in the hospital to date. Meeting even more doctors that now talk to both you, for legal reasons and Momo, for Bakugou's fantasy, about his brain damage.

How there is hardly any and that there were many things about the brain that we as humans had yet to understand.

But that was his whole fucking job wasn't it? To study the brain and unlock its god damn mysteries. Not tell you you were shit out of luck and non-existent to your very real husband who was in such a twisted reality.

It's baffling to see his scans, to hear nothing is wrong. Painful to see the love in his eyes that shine for Momo and not a spark for you.

How odd it is to share your husband with his ex wife.

Sometimes you're brave enough to sit closer to him like you are today. Steeling your nerves against his harsh interrogation as if you were the nasty villain that put him here in the first place. Sitting second to Momo who holds his hand or smooths down his blanket. Watching the days bleed together as her once, almost forced and polite smile turns into something else.

Turns real, genuine.

It makes your stomach churn.

"The fuck are ya still doing here extra?" He hisses at you when he wakes from a nap, Momo shushing him. Scolding him about being rude and he counters.

"What's rude is that she fuckin exists! Why is she fuckin here, Sweetheart?" Your heart falls into your stomach. Throat closing up as your body rejects this.

Rejects everything, especially the sound of his nickname for you aimed at someone else. At someone you're stupidly jealous of. At someone whose fault this could never be and who has only ever shown you kindness.

Sent your flowers on your birthday.

Avoided hero galas the two of you went to.

"Katsuki!" No correction on his name now, Momo having settled into his given name once again and quickly at that.

"No, it's okay. I'll- I'll get us some coffee, Momo." You say abruptly getting up. Wanting comfort from no one but the man that just cut you with his sharp tongue.

He's just groggy. It's cause he's hurting. It's the meds that are saying that.

The same excuses echo through your head as you walk through the halls, air thick with intangible weight as you trudge towards the sludge machine painted in coffee labels.

You wondered what exactly the air was thick with. Grief most likely, of lives forever altered resting on the shoulders of sobbing loved ones who could barely hold themselves up but were now expected to carry the weight of the world.

Or maybe it was resentment, festering anger. Angry that this happened. Angry at God or the Gods or at no one in particular that let this happen to their loved one.

All you knew was that the air was thick with it. Smothering you with every futile breath you took.

Somehow you make it back to the room, muscle memory must have guided you back here. Toeing open the door that you left slightly ajar quietly.

Only to find a sleeping Bakugou, breathing even and heart rate lazy, slow. Momo sighs softly as she pushes his ash blonde hair away from his forehead murmuring ever so softly.

"Why'd I leave again?"

The paper cups in your hands crush easily. The scalding liquid burning in your hands as Momo startles from the sound. But nothing burns as badly as the angry tears you're holding back.

Maybe you should leave. Give these two their happily ever after.

Maybe everyone was right. Bakugou was a lot to handle. Mitsuki had said so herself. Saying you'd never be good enough for her son as long as you stayed weak willed.

Weak hearted.

"You won't last four years with my son. Mark my words. You'll give up on him because he's too good for you, Momo was the better fit."

She muttered them to you as she pulled the veil over your blurring vision before you walked down the aisle to her son.

You never did tell him. And now you never would.

Mind made up as you storm from the hospital room. Biting your lip until you tasted blood as you held yourself back. A war raging inside your head.

He's just lost his memories, that's all this is. No you fucking idiot his love for Momo was stronger.

Soon you're marching up the stairs to your shared apartment, almost snapping the key off in the lock from the sharp turn of your wrist. Rushing inside without bothering to remove your shoes as tears cloud your eyes. Threatening to fall in fat drops as you rummage through the closet for your suitcase. Stacking it haphazardly with random items in the room. A small painting, your charger, random clothes and jewelry. All the while murmuring to yourself before you bully your way into the en suite.

Gathering things here and there before you see it. The box catching your eye that has you instantly nausted.

It's quiet for a moment. The buzzing in your throat and head silenced by your intense concentration.

Before erupting with a raw scream shoving everything off of the granite in one foul swoop.

Shattering his expensive cologne and your pricy perfume onto the wood grain tile. The scents meld together reminding you of hot dinner dates the two of you never made it to. Too busy fucking on the vanity counter, staring at one another in the mirror. Now all that stares back at you is a ghost. Hollow eyes and a heavier heart.

Biting your lip you stare at the black box on the floor, torturing yourself by picking it up. The rectangular shape feels different in your hands, the rounded edges feel sharp as you gently unwrap the gift as if you didn't know what sat inside.

Two white tests. Neatly capped and set in tissue paper. Two solid pink lines on one test and the other written clear as day in digital text Pregnant

With finality you slam the box into the trash with such force the can falls over. The other several tests toppled out indicating the same thing. Confirming what your blood tests results in your voicemail echoed back to you from your OBGYN

Congratulations!

The sound of her voice rings in your head. Was it a "congratulations", was it really?

This is what you wanted right? A baby?

To not exist? To fall off the face of the earth?

Fate is a twisted and cruel thing, giving but always taking its hefty price as tears burn your eyes, bags packed leaving the once shared apartment.

The universe only gave you what you wanted right?

So congratulations, you got exactly what you wanted.

You were finally forgotten.

Done With Parents

So Im in Colorguard and we (The Band) had a whole day of practice on Saturday from 9-5 and we got sunburned pretty bad to the point of Im dizzy, nauseated, chills, and pain. But apparently to my Mother its "Always Something," Im sorry but if my child was sick, I'd never say "It's always something" because you dont know whats going on in their body, you dont know how I feel or how my body works. And when parents say I've had it before and pushed through it," OKAY THEN THAT WAS YOU.

Strawberry Wine

Uggghhh was listening to Strawberry Wine by Deana Carter and yalls Cowboy!AU Bakugou Katsuki has got my mind in a foooooooog.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Just imagining visiting your grandfather for the summer and there's a new helping hand around the farm. A young man about the same age as you, it's also a bonus he's very attractive.

He does all the hard labor your grandfather has gotten a little too old do be doing. The sun beating down on him and making his blonde hair seem like a halo on his head, the golden evening rays making his eyes shine like the brightest ruby.

According to your grandfather he was helping out just for this summer since he was on break from college and wanted to get back to his hometown roots on a nearby farm.

Of course you were caught in a slump, eyes following him everywhere making you clumsy and messing up your own chores making him having to pick up the slack. Okay, maybe it was on purpose so he would be near you and talking to you.

Eventually catching his eye one day while riding a horse and being able to catch a wild hog that had ended up on the farm.

Both of you sneaking around corners and haylofts just for a moment together, before your grandfather came calling.

Him sneaking you out to his truck and just tearing down dirt roads underneath the warm summer moon. Talking about everything and nothing, dreams and goals.

Sharing tender moments and light touches by the pond where he dropped the tough guy act and you both showed your true colors.

Of course nothing can stay the same, as September came calling and he had to leave. The teenage promise to keep in touch and that you'd visit. Him promising he'll see you next summer and that he'd wait if you would.

A few cards, letters and one long distance call over the course of a year you both slowly got preoccupied with other things but never forgot the genuine connection you both had.

Every summer you still go back to see your grandfather, the fields overgrown now as he's gotten too old to maintain it alone but you do your best to help him out.

5 years have passed since you've seen the blonde, eyes always searching for him during the Summer with no luck yet.

Visiting the pond where you both truly bonded, first kiss and first love. A love that still remains sweet in your memory like the Strawberry Wine you had shared together that night.

"Hey there Princess,"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Someone pull my cavity it's too sweet ☺️☺️

Yalll pleaasseee 💙 read itttt

Atlantis (part 1)

prologue (must read) / series masterlist

pairing: neteyam x fem!metkayina!reader

series summary: with the death of quaritch, the sullys return to the forest. not wanting to make your mate part with his family for your sake, you decide to come with them. how will the return of his responsibilities as the future olo’eyktan affect your relationship? (4.5k)

It starts raining the moment you reach the forest and you welcome it like you would an old friend. You find your arms extending themselves, your eyes moving to look behind as you do to make sure you’re not obscuring Neteyam’s vision. 

What is an ocean but a multitude of drops? 

A microdose of home bidding you farewell.

Droplets living on your skin for a few seconds before they eventually have to leave, whispering a quiet goodbye and thank you for having me as gravity calls them down to the soil of pandora. 

They slip down your body and you can feel your skin clinging to them, begging them to stay just a little longer, to consume your body, to take your breath away like the ocean does.

You fly past the weeping cloud and a part of you cries with it as the last hint of water leaves your skin. 

“We’re almost there,” Neteyam tells you. 

The joy on his face is clear despite his attempt at masking it, a part of you wishes he didn’t try to suppress it just so he could mourn the loss of your home with you. 

“I can’t wait,” You wish you could say more. You wish you could offer him hand-picked words that have been assorted delicately to pluck hesitation away from his grip. 

But you can’t. Because a part of you is glad you have someone that wants to mourn with you despite, and your relationship is not built on half-truths. 

You know you’re there when you catch sight of the crowd gathered by their spirit tree. It will be yours too, eventually.

–

Jake announces their return a month before you have to leave Awa’atlu. He receives word back and is immediately promised to be given his position as the Olo’eyktan as soon as the family gets home, the Na’vi in position shoving power back into the hands of Jake the moment the opportunity presents itself, leaving no room for argument. 

Later, when it’s just the two of you sitting on a canoe, you ask Neteyam why Jake showed reluctance. He responds in laughter. 

“My father is arrogant,” he says. He assumes a thinking position before he corrects himself, “Was arrogant. He tries to practise humility for my mom,” he chuckles to himself as if he was watching a memory play out in front of him, “You should have seen his face when Norm told him. He tried to hide it but I’m pretty sure even Tuk could tell how happy he was.”

You mull over his words. Letting them sink in before you speak, “I thought his reasoning was safety,” you pause to observe his face, “of the clan and your family.”

“My father acted selfishly,” he pauses, catching your eye, shooting you a familiar question, do you want to carry this burden with me?

When you give him a gentle nod, he continues, “If anything, us leaving endangered the clan. They still had Spider, they still could have found the hideout. The only difference was our absence.” 

You take his hand in yours as he speaks, “But I try to understand. It is difficult for me to see reason because it is all I’ve known.”

He moves his gaze from the sea to you, “He is selfish for choosing safety over his duties when I had to sacrifice my childhood just to carry mine out.”

He breathes out. Letting your presence calm him down before he speaks again, “But I am glad he decided to act selfishly. Perhaps our family would not be in one piece if he didn’t. And,” he places your hand on his heart, “I would not have met you.”

You smile at his words. Replacing your hand with your head. The sound of his heart and the ocean around you is enough to lull anyone to sleep. 

But before you shut your eyes and succumb to comfort, you speak. 

“Perhaps a Toruk flapped its wings somewhere in the forest.”

The inside joke–born from his endearment for your fascination with fate–gets a laugh out of him, unable to resist the urge to see happiness bloom on his face, you get up from your place on his chest to watch. 

You look at him like you would look at the corals that live beneath you. The sight is familiar, yes, but it somehow manages to look more beautiful than it did the last time you caught a glimpse of it.

—

The first day back in the forest was hectic for the Sullys.

Not counting you. 

After the ceremony, Neteyam guides you to a hut separate from his family. His siblings join the two of you by his parents’ orders much to his irritation. 

“Bro, you seriously get all of this space to yourself? No fair!” Lo’ak exclaims, the excitement he radiates bouncing off the space, infecting everyone in his vicinity, forcing them to mirror the smile he has splattered across his face.

His teasing remarks directed at Neteyam brings a genuine laugh out of you, the sound catching Neteyam’s attention, saving Lo’ak from a gentle hit on the shoulder. 

Neteyam is the first person to be pulled away from your hut, ordered to attend some kind of briefing with his father. He leans in to kiss you and stops when he remembers his siblings’ presence in the room.

The sight of the three Sullys busying themselves has you laughing. Tuk is playing with your collection of shells. Kiri is observing the weaving pattern and Lo’ak. . . is covering his eyes with his hands like a child would.

“Can I look now?” he whines playfully. 

Neteyam rolls his eyes and steals a peck before he moves to leave, “Yes, you skxawng.”

When he leaves, the three siblings shoot you a look. 

“Am I gonna be an aunt?” The question asked by the 12-year-old has your mouth dropping to the ground.

“Lo’ak! What have you been telling her?” When you twist your body to point at him accusingly, he simply laughs and raises his hands in surrender.

“Bro, why do you always assume it’s me?” His reply has Kiri hissing in amusement, a smile etched on her face. 

You shoot him an unimpressed stare before you squat so you can match Tuk’s eye level, “You’re not gonna be an aunt, Tuk.” You ignore Lo’ak coughing out yet, “Don’t believe everything Lo’ak says, okay?”

“I give it one week.”

“LO’AK!” You and Kiri shout in unison. 

He laughs at your flabbergasted faces before he leaves to greet his avatar and human friends. 

The air gets noticeably mellower in his absence.

Tuk yawns, prompting you and Kiri to fix a temporary corner for her to rest in. 

Once Tuk is asleep on her corner, Kiri moves to lean on you, “I am glad I have him as my brother.”

You hum, encouraging her to continue. “Our family would have been consumed by the war if he didn’t keep that smile on his face despite everything.”

She looks up at you, “I am afraid I do not tell him enough.” You rub comforting circles on her back, waiting for her to move her gaze back to Tuk before you speak, “It is evident in your actions that you care.”

“But,” you glance down at her, “I am sure a verbal thanks would be well received.” 

Kiri smiles, satisfied with your answer. She sighs in contentment and her eyes to rest as silence is welcomed in the room.

You hear a rustle by the entrance and the sight of the Tsahik greets you. I see you, you gesture. She glances your way.

A beat.

Your breath stills and it is nothing like being engulfed by the ocean. Another beat passes and you think you finally understand what your siblings meant when they said phrases like our lungs burn. 

She gestures back after what feels like an eternity and you begin to understand why your siblings inhale that much oxygen back into their bodies after a dive. 

Her hand gestures towards Kiri, a silent order to wake the girl up as she was needed.

You coax the girl back to consciousness, shaking her shoulders lightly. When she doesn’t budge, you smile sheepishly at the tsahik, asking for a moment. “The human boy appears to be injured.”

Kiri groans, sitting up with her eyes still closed, “What did you do this time Spider?” She opens her eyes to roll them and turns to me with a look of betrayal when she sees her grandma opposite of her. 

You shrug, mouthing Tsahik orders, sorry. 

With Kiri leaving to help the Tsahik with the wounded and Tuk asleep, you are once again left in a room alone with your thoughts. 

You decide to busy yourself by unpacking your belongings. Since you had more time to prepare than they did before they left their home, the family–your family–offered to each carry a sack of your belongings for you. 

The sight of sacks filled to the brim with memories almost brings you to tears. Your friends and family from Awa’atlu insisted on claiming one sack to fill the moment you started packing. It almost pains you; the way you could tell exactly which sack contains the essence of your friends by the talon that’s poking out of the pile.  

It’s the talon that was used to ink you the first time. 

You swiftly pick it up. Burying the memories that are forcing themselves to be watched in a box as you do. A hollow promise to remember leaving your lips as you move it to a corner. 

Half of your stuff is unpacked when Neytiri enters in search of Tuk. Her face visibly softening at the sight of her youngest. 

She greets you with a hug and it places a smile on your face. 

“You have done well with this place,” She embraces you like she’s soothing you. Soothing your pain like it’s her own, like your pain is someone she’s well acquainted with.

She pulls away and briefly cradles your face in her hands before she moves to wake Tuk up from her corner. As she turns to leave, she looks at you again, “You are welcome to join me in the healers’ hut,” something shifts in her eyes, “if you want to?”

Neytiri asks the question like it is a statement. Like it’s something that’s been said before, like it’s a montage being played back, a tape being looped.

If you want to.

If you. want to. 

Want.

It’s a loaded question, one that’s been fired off before. 

Neytiri asks the question like it is a statement because in a way, it is. She knows the answer before the question is even muttered because she remembers the bullet wound that pierced her every time Jake asked if she wished to join him in the sea.

So when you shake your head and say, maybe next time, she smiles at you in understanding before she leaves.

When Neteyam returns a few hours later, he sees your back and a smile immediately makes its way to his face. He looks around, observing the lightly decorated space before he makes his presence known.

“I thought we were supposed to decorate our home together.” 

You laugh at the pout that makes its way to his face, guiding him to the sack of things you left untouched specifically for him. 

“Who says we still can’t?”

–

The days slip away from your fingers like water does. 

You’ve been living amongst the Omatikaya for two weeks now but you’re yet to climb a tree. 

Instead, your days are spent familiarising yourself with names and faces. Acquainting yourself with the healers, sitting in a corner accustoming yourself to materials they use to incorporate it in your weaving. Meeting the Avatars–Kiri’s mom–and the humans, letting Tuk drag you around to show you off to her friends.

There’s not much time for him to teach you their ways and you understand. 

Because war is exhausting. You aren’t part of raids like Neteyam is, but it still pains you to see even just a cut on his body. 

Lo’ak and Kiri nags you everyday to join them in the forest and you always reply with, No. 

Not because you’re unwilling to learn their ways, you simply wish to experience it with him by your side.

But your resolve gets chipped every day they nag. The dam’s wall cracking just a little bit every time they present you with reasons to join them. You need to see the woodsprites. You should see how many leaves I can fall on. Perhaps you’ll find more material to incorporate in your weaving.

The dam finally breaks when Tuk tells you all about the rivers, lakes, and waterfalls.

You’re not sure if it’s because it was Tuk that asked, or if it was the talk of varying bodies of water but you suddenly found yourself filled with an overwhelming desire to go despite his absence. 

Despite your desire, you still say no.

When you tell Tuk just that, she breaks off in a sprint. 

“Tuk– wait,” She slows down just enough for you to catch up, “Are you sure this is allowed? Are you not too young to visit the forest alone?”

She looks at you with a strange look, “But I am with you.”

“First of all, I told you no? Second, even if I did come, it would not make a difference. I am like a baby in the forest.”

She takes your words in and pouts when she realises they hold truth in them, she moves to open her mouth again but you beat her to it, “besides, neither of us have an ikran to fly, how are we supposed to visit the forest?”

You shoot her your signature I am speaking with reason smile and you’re about to get her to see your reasoning when she catches two figures behind you. 

“Lo’ak! Kiri! Come!”

Ah shit.

When the siblings approach the two of you and Tuk starts excitedly explaining her plan to get you to join them in the forest, you know you don’t have a way out.

That’s not true. You could always insist on staying, explain how you wish to go with Neteyam for your first trip instead.

So you say, “No.”

But it’s hollow. Anyone that knows you can tell that your resolve was worn off. That convincing you would be like child’s play.

Lo’ak carries Tuk in his arms like she’s still a child. You look away in an attempt to collect yourself and when you look back they’re all sporting similar pleading faces.

“It’ll only be an hour,” Lo’ak reasons.

Kiri nods, “We’ll be back before Neteyam notices.”

The implication hits you. The wave that’s been building up ever since you got here finally reaching your shore. But before you could properly mull over her words. Tuk tugs at your hand.

“C’mon! I know you miss the water.”

Tuk is a 12-year-old girl. She is not stronger than you are. So when she drags you to follow her siblings, you know that a part of you wants this to. That a part of you is allowing your body to get pulled. 

Your dam breaks and you can do nothing but follow the current.

—

“LO’AK YOU SKXAWNG,” You scream at his ear causing Lo’ak to make the ikran more unstable than it already is. 

“STOP SHOUTING YOU’RE MAKING IT WORSE.” He screams back. You can hear Tuk and Kiri laughing at your display but it’s difficult to appreciate the sound when your world is literally spinning.

Once you’re out the tunnel, he starts flying normally, “I told you. I don’t fly that bad. It was just the tunnel.” 

The words leave his mouth but they don’t reach you. The sight of the giant floating rocks reminding you too much of home. 

Kiri bumps Lo’ak’s ikran to get your attention. She ignores his whining but a smile still finds its way to her face, “Hey, you okay?” 

You’re not really sure how to properly convey your emotions without ruining the atmosphere. So Instead you ask a question.

“Is this why you guys spent so much time in the coves of the ancestors?”

Did the floating rocks also remind you a little too much of home?

You see Kiri smile at you, an answer ready to be spoken sitting on her lips.

But she never gets the chance to.

Because hundreds of ikrans come flocking from behind you before she even gets to open her mouth.

You hear Tuk cry out, the sound effectively shaking the two siblings out of their shock. They expertly steer their ikrans upwards, moving so they could fly above the flock. 

It’s a good lesson on perspective, you think.

One moment you feel like throwing up, the terror in your body making it go cold. 

Next, you’re staring at the picture it paints in wonder.

Colours bleeding from the body to their wings, creating patterns that are unique to each creature. 

They flap their wings and you catch yourself wondering if this was what led you to meet that beautiful boy two years ago.

“Shit,” The curse leaves Lo’ak’s mouth and it drags terror back in your body. 

You look between him and Kiri, the worried expression shared between the two doing nothing to help the chill that’s quickly making its way back to your body.

“What’s wrong?” 

They both steer their ikran to follow the flock, hiding behind the rocks as they do, “Sky people.”

It has your ears ringing. Creatures you’ve only heard of from stories told by humans and warriors in the clan. Sky people can’t navigate the hallelujah mountains, you remember Neteyam saying. 

“Why aren’t they attacking the ship? Don’t they usually attack?” The question comes from Tuk, the twelve-year-old safely tucked in her sister’s chest.

Kiri and Lo’ak share another look before speaking in unison, “Avatars.”

“We have to call this in.” Lo’ak says, reaching for the microphone on his throat as he does.

“Devil dog– I mean– Dad, do you copy?”

He hands you an in-ear while you all wait for a response.

“Lo’ak?”

“Yes. There’s an aircraft flying over the mountains. Over.”

“And it’s not getting attacked by the ikrans? Over.”

“No,” Lo’ak pauses, “We think it could be dreamwalkers.”

You point at the aircraft that’s now flying just a few feet below you. You catch a glimpse of something blue poking out and you gesture for the siblings to fly behind the rock completely.

“Shit. We’re sure it’s avatars. Over.”

“We? Who's we? Over.”

“Kiri, Tuk,” He pauses, looking over at you in a silent question. You nod against your mind’s orders. Your face scrunching when Lo’ak adds your name.

Regret takes root in your body when you hear Neteyam repeat your name through the radio. You hear the silent question in his voice, why did you leave? You try not to think about it. Pushing down the thoughts, saving them for later. 

When you return to the conversation, Lo’ak’s telling his father where he is.

You land on one of the floating rocks to wait for their parents’ arrival. The moment you do, Tuk bursts into tears as she comes sprinting to you. 

You let her cling onto your lower body, soothing her sobs my rubbing slow circles on her back. 

She turns to face her siblings, “Will the clan have to move again?”

The two share a look before they bend down to her level. 

Kiri pats down Tuk’s hair before she speaks, “Oh, Tuk. I’m sure everything will be alright.” 

Lo’ak nods, “And if it isn’t then we’ll just drive them away!” He ruffles her hair, “Like we always do, okay?” He shoots her a smile and it warms your heart when you see her mirror his expression.

A shout of your name brings the group’s attention back to the sky. Tuk immediately rushing from your side to the ikrans to greet her parents. 

You see Neteyam move towards you and you reach out to him. Regret and guilt resurfacing when he pulls you in an embrace. 

He cradles your face in his hands, “Are you alright yawne?” 

Worry takes over his features and you really can’t bear to see it so you bury your head on his chest, the rapid beating of his heart doing nothing but worsen the guilt.

“I’m alright now.”

You break away from each other and approach his parents.

“Go straight to the camp, is that clear?” Jake looks his children in the eyes as he speaks, “Your mother and I will handle this.”

Neteyam moves to speak, “But dad–” He goes silent at the pointed stare Jake gives him, “Make sure they all get home safe.”

–

You spent the journey back pondering over the right words to pick when you eventually have to answer his silent questions. 

I’m sorry. 

Would that be enough?

I can’t say no to Tuk.

Are you really going to result to blaming a child?

You arrive at camp and Neteyam pulls you to your hut, his siblings knowing better than to follow. 

“Why were you there?”

Anticipating a question doesn’t make an answer come to you easier. If anything, it makes it more difficult. You can’t just blurt out anything and blame it on the lack of time when you revisit the conversation in the future. 

You can’t blurt out just anything because you’ve thought of every possible response and you understand the insinuations tied whatever words leave your mouth.

“I’m sorry.”

Your gaze is pointed at the ground, unable to bring yourself to look at him, afraid of the emotions you could find if you do.

He sighs, his hands move to hold your face and you get to take a good look at his face.

“You are not mad,” You say slowly, your observations shocking you.

To your surprise, he lets out another laugh. “No yawne, I’m not mad at you. I was mad that you were put in a situation like that. I don’t want you hurt.”

You furrow your eyebrows at his statement, “You’re not mad that I was planning on going to the forest without you?”

He laughs at your question like the thought never even crossed his mind and it stings.

Perhaps the blame is on you for thinking you know him enough to predict his thoughts just because your souls happened to be intertwined. 

At the end of the day, two years is still nothing compared to the seventeen years spent getting moulded to be a warrior that prioritises protection.

When your body subconsciously inches back from his hold, the smile drops from his face.

“What’s wrong?”

He moves closer to you, “Are you hurt anywhere?”

His concern brings a small smile to your face. It makes you realise just how little you know this side of him. 

The notion of getting to know half your soul better should excite you, but right now it just makes you sad.

You’ve heard of stories from his siblings; throwing himself in between them and a weapon, mediating arguments with their dad by taking the blame– but you’ve never seen it for yourself.

Protectiveness is inked on him the same way the markings on your chest are.  

And somehow, you never took notice.

“Yawne, did you hurt yourself?”

You shake your head in response. Holding his hand as you collect your thoughts.

“I’m yet to set foot in the forest,” You watch as shock takes over his face, “I wanted my first breath of your home–my home–to be with you.”

The words sink in and you watch as regret made its presence known on his face. 

“I’m sorry. But I’ve been busy and–” He cuts himself off, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be making excuses.”

You tell him it’s okay and he insists that it’s not. 

The next thing you know, the two of you are sneaking out.

“Ma’teyam, while I do appreciate the gesture, are you sure we can’t wait till tomorrow?” You ask as he helps you up Yoki. 

“You would love the forest better at night. The plant life on the reef reminded me so much of home,” he hops on the ikran, sitting behind you, “I’m hoping it’ll have the same effect on you.”

–

When he lands Yoki by the lake and spots the huge smile on your face, he wishes he took you here sooner. 

You sprint towards the body of water, Neteyam nodding when you ask him, is it safe to swim? 

The sight of you swimming with a carefree smile on your face makes his heart ache. 

You were depriving yourself of this because of him.

Because you wanted to experience this with him. 

Neteyam jumps in the water. He twists his body, looking for you before he takes a deep breath to check underwater. 

The moment he does, you come emerging from his side, pulling at his feet with a smile on your face. You urge for him to follow you deeper into the water.

You are right, it does remind me of home, you sign. 

Neteyam watches as happiness blooms on your face at the sight of water life, his gaze staying on your face despite your finger pointing at something you found fascinating. 

Thank you, you sign. 

He shakes his head as he moves his hands, I wish I brought you here sooner. 

Air eventually leaves his body and he’s forced to tap you and gesture upwards for some assistance. 

When you two reach the surface you hit him lightly as he gasps for air, “You skxawng! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

He responds by splashing water on you. The smile on your face was worth having to suffer your retaliation. 

The carefree atmosphere brings him back to the reef. When all he had to do was hunt and carry his weight, when he didn’t have war plaguing his mind. 

He shakes the thought off, he was not raised to think like that. He shifts his focus to you, your eyes trained on the bioluminescent life around you, lips fixed to a smile. 

The sight of you staring at his home–yours, soon, he hopes–in wonder eases the weight of the guilt he wears every day. 

I’m sorry for dragging you to war.

I’m sorry for being selfish.

I’m sorry I can’t let the title promised to me go.

He doesn’t say it, afraid he’d make you realise he wasn’t worth it. Don’t think like that, he imagines you saying. The thought of you enough to ward the thoughts away temporarily. 

The light from the flower you’re holding hits your face perfectly and Neteyam feels the urge to kiss you so strongly that his body moves out of its own accord.

One moment you’re holding a flower between your hands. A beat passes and you find yourself holding his face as he pours unspoken words into the kiss, hoping his soul says what he can’t and that yours understands. 

Later, when the both of you are in the comfort of blankets, your back pressed against his, you tell him being with you reminds me of the ocean. When he asks why, you respond like it’s the simplest thing, you leave me breathless. 

Perhaps it is simple because it is the truth. He leaves you breathless and you are the air that keeps him from suffocating.

a/n: don't we all just love messy writing. . . if u got the cloud atlas quote ily! and as always! feedback and reblogs are appreciated! i'm genuinely having so much fun writing lol, hope you all have a good week! the next part is theee angst part … r we ready

taglist (open) : @luvlykrispy @nao-cchi

Reposting to read laterrrrrrr

title: save me.

pairing: childhoodfriend!katsuki x reader

katsuki has always saved you, his princess.

the first time you asked katsuki to save you was in kindergarten.

you'd fell and scraped your knees after some other little boy shoved you to the ground, upset that you had taken the swings from him earlier. you were in tears as you begged, "save me kacchan!" as his eyes widened and a feeling he couldn't describe overtook him, he scared off the other boy, happily taking the praise from you as you looked at him stargazed, in awe of his strength.

from that day on he swore to protect you, in all the games you'd play, he'd be the knight, you'd be the pretty princess in the tower, and his gang of friends would be monsters, trying to attack you.

he'd superglued your hands together at recess once too, just to keep you with him. he smiled as he said, "now we'll be together forever!" the reprimanding the two of you faced because he did so was worth it in his opinion, as the message stuck throughout the years.

it manifested in his protective nature over you never ceasing even as you two aged. in middle school the guy who'd been rude to you to the point of tears in biology came to you the next day, shakily begging you to forgive him. guys wouldn't look your way, terrified to even upset you. when you confronted katsuki about it? he'd deny it, say you must've done something yourself.

katsuki felt you were the only one who was his equal, the only one he wanted by his side on his journey to become number one.

that's why he was glad to be with you in u-a, why he 'let' you apply without the public humiliation he'd inflicted on izuku.

since you two were together constantly due to the dorms, you'd do everything together. you'd study together, train, sit next to eachother in class, eat lunch together. you'd even developed a habit of napping in his bed, waking up with horrible 'bedhair', not knowing it was because he'd play with it when you were fast asleep.

and as you two graduated, becoming pro-heroes, getting married. opening an agency together, plans for children on the way.

plans that were all thrown out as quickly as they were conceived.

the last time you asked katsuki to save you was when you were bleeding out in the destroyed streets of the city. debris and destruction surrounding you as you struggled to even mutter the phrase. "..s-save.. me." you could barely see him, let alone see the heartbreak and despair in his reaction.

everything hurt, your body could barely process why. maybe it was the fact you were being impaled on a blade of steel, brought forth by the villain who'd caused this madness in the first place.

"you're.. you're gonna be okay." he said, equally for yourself and him. trying to convince himself this was all a nightmare, one he'd hope he'd wake up from soon.

but as he looked over at you, processing the fatal wound in your stomach. he knew he couldn't be selfish and lie to you a second longer.

his words came out cracked as he confessed, 'i.. i don't-- i can't help you.'

how dare you? how dare you try comforting him in your last moments, reaching out to coddle his face with the hand that wasn't mangled, softly smiling and ignoring the blood cascading down your mouth as you dedicated your last words just to him. "i love you.. you've always- been my knight, katsuki."

he felt your hand drop, but he rushed to pick it up. he had never felt so hopeless in his life, he always swore to protect you.. and yet? he failed. he was a broken man as he was escorted away from your corpse, only your ring to serve as a permanent reminder of what he lost.

he was a broken man as he tried and miserably continued life without you, seeing you in everything, yet never feeling you again.

the only form of solace he would ever get was to find that villain, and to pummel him into the ground. and he did so, feeling so gratified in the moment, as if he'd served justice in your honor.

but all the blood he'd shed would be worthless,

for nothing could bring back his pretty princess in her tower.

alt ending!

SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT because someone just got burned.

I'm sobbing

Left her behind

Lucifer x Angel Wife Reader

Synopsis: Lucifer left you behind to rule hell and have lilith so you were behind cleaning up your broken piece

Your wings were bigger than your body but your heart was bigger than your wings. You were an archangel helping your god important plans for mankind. Your husband Lucifer was a Seraphim and you always wonder how you two ever gotten married.

An Archangel and a Seraphim what an unexpected pair, isn’t it?

As you were talking to a human Adam about what god had told you to tell him. A bad feeling was upon you as you excused yourself to go back to heaven to find your husband.

An hour had gone by and you still couldn’t find him til you saw Lilith and you husband kissing. You were shocked and upset until god touched your shoulder ushering back into heaven saying he’ll handle it. Of course you couldn’t question someone you absolutely trust so you flew up with tears hurriedly to go find Gabriel and Michael.

That’s when you found out your husband has been banished with everyone else who betrayed God and heaven.

They were sent to hell as Lucifer as the leader of it and Lilith as queen. You sobbed so loudly make Gabriel hushed you quietly as he sway you left and right to get you to calm yourself.

Michael came back in with some ice cream with a sad smile. “Let forget about your ex husband my little Beauty” And you agreed. That was 200 years ago and during that time you found out Lucifer had a daughter which made you completely forget about him focusing about your home more importantly.

Today was your birthday and you had to go to a meeting about the extermination in hell.

Back in hell after getting a meeting to heaven he told his daughter an important story.

“Over 100 years there was these two angels one in a lower class and another in a higher class they loved each nonetheless. Married in heaven but soon the married man became regrettably enchanted with a human bringing her with him to his chaos but leaving his heart where heaven was at” Lucifer explained

“Y-You left your real wife, dad?” She asked him shock and sadness looking at the sky.

“Sadly so, she was supposed to be your mom” He chuckled as tears slipped out his eyes. The amount of times he goes over to see you but you never reciprocate breaks his heart.

He still wears his gold wedding ring from the day he married you and he can never forget that day.

“Don’t worry charlie i’ll win her back no matter the cost and I’ll bring her here to hell for her to rule with me” He reassured her with determination. They both look up to the sky to see a rare white star down at hell.

🙌🏻 Have the passion, have the fun, the laughs and pleasure. It's more intimate, more nourishing, more beautiful.

Let’s be real, sex is weird. It’s gross. They don’t call it bumping uglies for no reason. It is the most unserious thing on the planet. So have fun with it!!!

We are often shown and told that sex is supposed to be a show. You’re supposed to look a certain way, feel a certain way, sound a certain way. It’s bullshit. You are literally touching and rubbing each other’s mucous membranes and it feels good. It’s sticky and sweaty and smelly and that’s normal. That’s how it’s supposed to be. And it’s beautiful. We are just animals taking part in the most pleasurable activity on planet earth.

Idk man I’ll just never forget the time a coworker told me about an encounter she had with a guy she had been seeing for like six months?? He was manhandling her and she was having a great time and so she laughed. You know. As you do when you’re having fun.

Deadass this guy stopped cold and accused her of laughing at him. He was genuinely angry with her and got dressed and walked out. I’m flabbergasted to this day like. Loosen the fuck up. Sex is not that serious.

Tldr sex is supposed to be fun so have fun

Part 2 in the works 👀👀