So True Bestie

Wade fucking Wilson. I love you. I'd die for you.

At Odds At All Hours

Summary: Wade fucking Wilson is without a doubt the worst neighbor you’ve ever had. Will the constant conflict drive you together or drive one of you out of the building?

Prompt/Request: Neighbors that constantly fight AU

Warnings: It’s Deadpool. All the warnings. Profanity, violence, no smut but lots of lude jokes. Did I mention profanity?

Word Count: 3,437

Author’s Note: Okay Wade is difficult to write. Who is that sassy in real life? I need a team of comedic writers to help me. To that end, I 100% stole a line from Garden State. It just fit perfectly. Sue me. This is for @buckthegrump’s writing challenge. Look at that, I’m finishing a challenge on time!

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Gojo: Y/N kissed me!

Geto, gasping: No!

Shoko, squealing: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!

Gojo: It was unbelievable.

Geto: Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!!

Shoko: Okay, okay, we wanna hear everything. Geto, get the wine and unplug the phone. Gojo, does this end well or do we need tissues?

Gojo: Oh it ended verrrry well.

Geto, rushing over with wine glasses: Do not start without me! Do not start without me!

Shoko: Alright, let’s hear about the kiss. Was it like a soft brush against your lips, or was it like a, y'know, “I gotta have you now” kinda thing?

Gojo: Well, at first it was really intense, y'know, and then… oh god, and then we just sorta sunk into it…

Geto & Shoko, squealing: Awwwwww!!!

[Cut to Nanami and Y/N casually eating pizza around the table]

Y/N: And uh, and then I kissed him.

Nanami: Tongue?

Y/N: Yeah.

Nanami: Cool.

CAPTAIN AMERICA FU-

Steve

Summary: Steve’s never had a blowjob and could you really consider yourself a friend if you didn’t suck his dick?

Warnings: 18+, praise kink?, oral m!receiving, smut

“You’ve never…” your words dying down as you waved your hands for emphasis, letting the silence fill the gaps of your question.

Steve cheeks darkened under your gaze and he licked his bottom lip before answering. “Well, I’ve been busy.” His excuse seeming lame to him when they fell from his lips but it was true. Captain America and all that. He took another sip of his drink.

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I really need more twilight x avengers. Ultimate team up bro.

Its a family name.

This is a fun little story I created when my friend reminded me that Carlisle Cullen is richer than Tony Stark. Anything that doesn't make sense for either fandom plotline just ignore it this is for fun.

I just imagine Tony one day coming across a BuzzFeed Top 10 richest men article and feeling so smug until he sees he's like just behind some random ass doctor from Washington and he spends weeks complaining to the rest of the team about it like,

Come on guys, something is clearly up with that family they have 7 kids and one working parent?? No doctor is that good, no offence Strange, but seriously Washington isn't even that long a flight

and they're just so fucking over it like,

Tony leave them alone their a normal civilian family living their lives let them be.

Then the Cullens are there at the same time fighting the newborn army setting that shit on fire.

Tony then googles their family tree cause we know that man wouldn't drop it, and he sees a trail of money going from account to account every 60 years or so for like centuries under the name Carlisle Cullen. Eventually, he flies to Washington and confronts them and the Cullens obviously know he's coming i mean they've got Alice and Edward on that immediately and Tony is like

So, Adams family, what's the deal.

Carlisle is just like, yeah man it's a family name Idk what to tell you. he points to jasper or someone and is like, this is my kid Carlisle. And hands him some fake birth certificate cause he's a doctor he could and tony can't find anything wrong with it so he just gives up and leaves.

Years later, the Avengers are about to fight Thanos or whoever and Nick Fury comes in saying he called in a favour with some old friends and before they come in he tells the team about the existence of vampires and werewolves and everyone is shocked af and tony has long forgotten the Cullens until they walk in and Carlisle is like,

Yeah, sure we can help but we're gonna need someone to look after my granddaughter.

They bring out their freaky little toddler looking baby and Clint is like, oh cute I have kids too, what's her name? and Carlisle looks Tony right in the eye and says

Carlisle, Carlisle Cullen. It's a family name.

Pretty boy

CHRIS EVANS as STEVE ROGERS Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

This made me IJBOL SO HARDDD

jjk men projecting their feelings onto you ☆ #2

cw : second hand embarrassment, pre-established relationship

Bucky fighting through the rest of the 107th to get to the stage and chase Steve around

What if Bucky hadn’t been captured?

So cute

Take You There

Summary:  Sam plays a game called Fuck or Die. It’s like he willed it into existence as you and Bucky explore the basement of an old Hydra lair. Pairing: Bucky x Reader A/N: It’s just smut. Sex pollen. Dub-con. Angst-ish. Semi-breeding kink it’s nasty y’all. 3.8K word count

“What about Clint?”

Through the com, Bucky hears Sam’s voice, posing the question innocently even though his pitch sounds like a grin.

Clint scoffs back, “Stop it.”

“Okay. But imagine the scenario,”

To his right, you duck behind a corner to protect yourself from bullets. Wilson would be the kind of idiot to have this sort of conversation in the middle of a firefight. A long pause as the rest of the team waits for him to continue his proposition.

“Imagine the scenario!” He repeats, yelling above the sound of machine gun fire in the distance.

A piece of broken metal is flung from your hand, slicing its way into the opposite wall.

“What scenario?!” You scream, irritated at his stalling, “Finish the damn sentence!”

“You know….” Another annoyingly long pause. “Fuck or die.”

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Yep!!! We love supportive men!!!

showing off your (revealing) dress for girls night out!

ft. nanami, gojo, geto, sukuna, toji, shiu

a lil suggestive on some but that's all, mostly just them being head over heels for u

DADDY DADDY DADDY DADDY

ROBERT DOWNEY JR. IRON MAN 2 - dir. Jon Favreau