Hey Hopefully You’re Still Taking Joel Requests! Could I Have One Where Reader Gets Hurt Protecting

Hey hopefully you’re still taking Joel requests! Could I have one where reader gets hurt protecting Ellie and Joel tells reader he loves them for the first time? Thank you!!

AN | Someone asked for pain and angst, so here we are. Trust me, it’s going to hurt 😏

Pairing | Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Warnings | Language; TLOU typical violence

Word Count | 3.4k

Masterlist | PP Characters, Main

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“Do you really think this place is safe?” there was a hard edge to Joel’s voice that caused you to roll your eyes at him. Once he spotted the gesture, he huffed and gently nudged your side with his elbow, “this is not a joke.”

“This is not a joke,” you teased and he was clearly not amused. That did nothing to deter your mood, “first of all - nothing in this world is safe. Second of all - relax a little bit. Stressing all the time doesn’t solve anything, handsome. Besides, this place is as safe as anything to stop in for a rest.”

“I say we listen to her,” Ellie took a step closer to over you and this time it was Joel’s turn to roll his eyes.

“Of course you do,” he held up his hands in a gesture of mock surrender, “fine. If that’s what the two of you want, go right ahead. We’ll stay here.”

“Yes!” Ellie grinned happily as she started to head towards the front of the old building. It was the remnant of an old department store; it was strange to think that Ellie had never even been in one before. You exchanged a look with Joel and he sighed lightly and shrugged his shoulders.

Before he could go to follow the young girl, you wrapped your fingers around his wrist and stopped him, tugging him back towards you, “you know I wouldn’t do this - anything - if I thought it was too dangerous, right?”

“I know,’ he promised with a curt nod, and despite his reassurance, he didn’t seem to relax, “it’s not you I don’t trust. It’s everything else.”

“I can handle myself,” you reminded him, “besides, I learned most of what I know from you. I’m not too worried about it.”

“I know you can handle yourself,” he reached up and tenderly brushed some dirt off your face, “the thing is, I don’t want you to have to handle yourself. I want you safe.”

“Unfortunately that’s not the world we live in,” you sighed softly, putting your hand on top of his where it rested on your cheek and gave a squeeze, “so we’ll just have to keep our eyes and ears open. Besides, Joel, you should have seen her face light up when she saw this place. She’s never even been in a store before it’s all new to her.”

“I know,” he nodded, exhaling slowly as he focused his attention on his feet, “we’ll just be extra careful.”

“We always are,” you leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek, unable to stop yourself. You noticed the way his face flushed a light shade of pink, “come on, handsome. Who knows, maybe this could even be fun!”

You grabbed his hand and pulled him along; if you’d been looking at him you would have noticed the smile on his face. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

“So people would come here and buy all the things they needed?” The girl’s eyes were huge as she walked around a rack of clothes, touching the clothes in wonder. Everything was in pristine condition, just dusty and covered in small holes. You nodded as you pointed at a jewelry display case, “wow. It’s so strange.”

“You’d come to a place like this for clothes, beauty products, shoes, sometimes furniture and all of that,” you explained; of course she knew of places like that, but to actually be in one was a different story. It made your heart ache to think that more than likely she’d never get to fully experience going to a store…or a normal life. This life was normal for her; to you and Joel it had been a matter of adapting, “and then, you know, grocery stores for food, and other specialty stores. The best place, though, was always Target.”

“Target,” she echoed as you nodded, earning a small groan from Joel. You shot him as an amused little smile before sticking your tongue out at him, “what was at Target?”

“Everything,” despite your best efforts a wistful little sigh escaped your lips, “clothes, beauty stuff, home stuff, food - it was magical. One day, when this is not the world we live in anymore, and we have regular stores again, I’ll take you to a Target and you’ll get to experience it for yourself.”

“You think it’ll be like that again one day?” she was already through a display of earrings, brushing her fingers over them gently. You didn’t want to get her hopes up, but you also liked to remain optimistic. It was always funny that you and Joel meshed so well; you were eternal optimist while he was a grumpy realist. Balance, you liked to think, and love. 

“I have hope that yes, one day things will be different,” you affectionately brushed a few stray locks of hair out of her face. Despite the hardened exterior she’d first presented, she was slowly opening up to the two of you. You figured that everybody just needed a little love sometimes. 

“Me too,” she let out a huff, quickly enamored with another display. 

You kept an eye on her, but shuffled back over to Joel, hopping up to sit next to him on one of the counters near an old cash register. You set your hand down and felt him move his hand closer, his pinky brushing against yours, “you alright?”

“Yeah,” you glanced at him and found him watching you with a soft expression, “it’s just weird out here sometimes. It’s odd to see things just perfectly preserved and basically frozen in time. It’s like normal - it’s just so close but so far away. It makes me sad a little bit…we all lost so much.”

With that he put his around your shoulders and pulled into the side of his body. You slumped with relief and felt yourself melt into him. There was something so reassuring and comforting about his presence that always made you feel better. He pressed a kiss to the crown of your head as you rested it on his shoulder. 

The two of you sat in comfortable silence for a little while as you watched Ellie roam around the store, mesmerized by so many things. 

“What do you think?” you asked softly as he hummed in response, “do you think the world will go back to normal one day?”

“Do you want the real answer or the answer I want to give you?” he asked, his gruff voice reverberating in his chest. You laughed, but it was a bitter and sad thing. He reached for your hand, threading his finger through yours and giving yours a gentle squeeze. 

“I’m feeling very optimistic,” your voice was thick as a wave of feeling welled up in your chest, “give me the answer you want to tell me.”

“Well,” he started off softly, “I think everything will slowly go back to the way things were. And we’ll move back into the cities and suburbs, and life will go back to being normal. We’ll move into a nice house, we’ll get a dog and maybe even a cat, I’ll make sure you get that garden you always wanted. We’ll have neighbors we hate but we’ll invite them for barbecues and we’ll make cookies for everyone. We’re going to go all out for the holidays and everyone will remember us, the best  Halloween spooks and brightest Christmas displays. Maybe we’ll find a kid that needs us along the way or something. It’s going to be so boring and quiet, but it’s going to be amazing.”

“I love the sound of that,” your eyes were stinging with tears that you tried to blink back to no avail, “can I have that bay window in the kitchen and a little reading nook in our bedroom?” 

“You can have whatever you want, baby,” he promised and you knew that he meant it. Joel would do anything for you, just as you would do for him, “you name it and its yours.”

“As long as I have you, I’ve got everything I need,” you wiped at the tears that had pearled up and rolled down your cheeks before clearing your throat, “now give me your real answer…please.”

Joel paused, mulling over his words carefully as he tried to decide exactly what to say. But then he decided that he knew exactly what to say at that moment, “it doesn’t matter what my real answer is. I’m often wrong, as you love to remind me. Like I said, I’ll get you whatever you want. You want things back to how life used to be? Then that’s what it’ll be.”

“Ahh, you’re such a romantic,” you laughed sniffly before sitting up and moving your body so you were facing him, “never would have thought you were such a softie.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he pretended to wave you off but you could see the lovely smile that was on his face, “you keep that to yourself, you hear me?”

“Of course, handsome,” you leaned and kissed him gently, letting your lips linger against his, “whatever you say.”

“Hey!” Ellie’s voice cut through whatever Joel was about to say as she waved her hand at you, “I found some makeup! Can we try it on?”

You exchanged an amused expression with Joel before you slid off the counter, “don’t open anything just yet! Wait for me, kiddo!”

Joel watched you go, his stomach churning with a flurry of emotions. If he thought it was even remotely possible to give you what you wanted, he would have done it in a heartbeat. For you and Ellie. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

You startled awake, blinking away the bleariness from your eyes. It took a few moments to realize where you were; you were currently on an old display mattress, covered in old, soft, and clean packaged blankets. It almost felt as good as your bed from once upon a time. Joel’s arm was slung around your waist as he pulled you against his chest. You could hear him snoring softly; Ellie was on your other side, staring at the ceiling and holding onto a stuffed animal that she had found. She acted like she didn’t care about it, but you saw how affectionately she looked at it and hugged it to her chest. She’d never had a stuffed animal before. 

“What are you doing awake?” you whispered softly as she turned to you with a look of surprise on her face. You shushed her gently, smoothing her hair out of her face, “it’s okay…there’s a lot of times I can’t sleep either.”

“There’s way too much going on in this head,” she huffed as you grinned at her, “I don’t know how you guys do it all the time.”

“I don’t know either,” you admitted and the two of you shared soft laughs. Before you could say anything else, you heard a sound in the distance, at the other end of the store. You sat up immediately, gently pushing Joel’s arm off you. Ellie sensed your worry and followed suit as you looked around, your eyes slowly adjusting to the dim light, “we gotta keep it quiet right now.”

“I can do that,” she nodded nervously as she moved out of the bed so you could climb out as well. You grabbed your flashlight, gun, and knife off the floor, slowly padding towards the sound, keeping as quiet as possible. Ellie, sweet, stubborn Ellie, followed you, despite the fact that she hadn’t been invited. She would argue that she hadn’t been told to stay either, therefore she could come. You looked at her with a raised eyebrow but she only grinned, “I’ll watch your back.”

“Stay behind me and quiet,” you pleaded and she nodded. You thought about waking Joel up, but decided against it; it’d be easier to just solve this real quickly by yourself. 

You weaved your way through the aisles and display, eyes peeled for any sign of movement. Surprisingly, you didn’t hear the sound again and part of you wondered if you’d imagined it. You swallowed thickly as you looked at the door that led to the stairwell. It didn’t sound like anything was inside, but you wanted to conduct as thorough of a sweep as possible, so pushed the door open with your hip. 

The landing was dark but you didn’t see anything besides stacks of old boxes and some random pallets, “stay by the door, yeah? If anything comes or you hear anything, close it.”

“What if you’re…in there?”

“I can handle it,” you promised, “I learned from the best.”

You slowly descended down the stairs, letting the light guide you as you came across…nothing. Maybe you really had imagined it all, wanting something to go wrong. That was the doomsday brain talking; it was almost laughable. 

It was when you were about to go down the third set of stairs that you heard it again. And this time it was coming from above you; panic set into your bones. You turned around to run back up the stairs when you heard that unmistakable sound. 

“Shit,” you heard Ellie’s soft voice and your brain kicked into overdrive. You took the steps two at time until you made it back to the landing and heard the awful sound of the clicker. It was almost haunting as you saw it getting closer and closer to Ellie. 

“Get back, Ellie!” you shouted, reaching for the gun strapped to your thigh, “get back and close the door - now.”

“But you’ll be in here-”

“I can handle it! Go!” 

The girl managed to slip away, shutting the door behind her, leaving you with the clicker. It turned to you, screeching its horrible song at you, as the gun trembled in your hand. It started to lunge at you, and you panicked, taking a step back and missed the edge of the step, tumbling down the concrete until you landed at the bottom. 

“Fuck,” you hissed as you tried to pull yourself up. There was an immediate, intense pain in your ankle that caused you to hiss in pain. You tried not to freak out further, reminding yourself that the calmer you stayed, the better this would end. When you looked for the gun, you found that it was still at the top of the stairs, “fuck!”

It was all happening so fast, the clicker making his way down the stairs as you pulled your knife out of its sheath. Unfortunately, it was faster than you were and by the time you managed to pull out the knife with your shaking hands, you were almost in its grasp. 

You felt it happen before you could even do anything about it. 

But you managed to grab the knife and shoved it through its eye, causing it to fall limp and crumple to the floor. Your heart was beating so hard you were shocked it didn’t burst through your ribcage.

You dropped the knife and your hand went to your neck and you gasped at the feeling of your own blood. You pulled your hand away and looked at your fingers, frowning at the sticky red liquid that was all over them. You willed yourself not to panic as you shuffled your way back up the stairs as best as you could with your hurt ankle, grabbing the gun you had dropped. 

If only you hadn’t fucking dropped it. 

You collapsed in front of the door, sitting with your back next to it. You opened your mouth a few times, finding it impossible to get out the words without them being totally obscured by your cries, “Ellie Bean? Are you there?”

“Y-yes,” she replied after a moment, “a-are you okay? Please tell me you’re okay.”

She already knew the answer. You cried, your entire body trembling as tears followed down your face, “I need you to get Joel and leave, okay? I know you’re tired, but you have to keep going. The two of you have each other - just go. Don’t look back and go forward. You can do this.”

“You’re c-coming with this. Right? Right?”

“Ellie,” you whispered, “get Joel and go. Go now and just keep going.”

“P-please don’t…”

But Ellie didn’t even have to turn around to fetch Joel. He was already standing there, an unreadable expression on his. 

“What the fuck happened?” Ellie couldn’t form words as she started to cry, wordlessly pointing at the door. Joel moved past the girl as he tried to step inside, but you blocked his way, “baby.”

“Joel,” he crouched down and hung his head, trying to keep it together, “just stay out there. Take Ellie and go.”

He put a shaking hand on the floor, emotion threatening to bring him to his knees, “what happened.”

You laughed softly, not at him, more so the entire universe. Fuck. He loved that sound more than anything; the idea that he’d never hear it again was enough to make his heart constrict. You desperately wanted to let him in, to get to hold him and kiss him one last time. But even though you had a little bit of time left, you weren’t willing to risk it, “we all have to go one way or another, right? A-at least I can go knowing I went for a good reason. Protecting Ellie.”

“Maybe we could…maybe…I can…” you heard the pain in his voice as he tried to keep it together, “I… let me in…please?”

“I don’t want you to see me like this,” you cried, biting the inside of your cheek, “I want the last time you saw me to be when we went to bed and you kissed me and held me. Give me that, yeah?”

“I can’t lose you,” he breathed shakily, “not you.”

“Joel,” he’d never hear you say his name again. The idea alone made him feel ill, “I love you so much, handsome. You’re gonna get Ellie where she needs to be. And she’ll help you too. You have each other and that’s enough.”

“I love you,” he choked, the words making your heart swell with joy. You knew Joel loved you, you’d always known, even if he hadn't put it into words before. Some things didn’t need to be said, “I love you.”

“Will you promise me something?” 

“Anything.”

“Get Ellie to safety, both of you to safety,” you noticed the gap under the door and realized it was just enough to slide your fingers under. You slid your hand through the gap as much as you could and you immediately felt his hand on top of yours, “and one day, when things go back to normal, you get that house with the bay window and reading nook and the dog and the garden and the nosey neighbors. Promise me?”

“I promise,” his voice was shaking as you closed your eyes, trying to picture that house in your mind.

“Will you plant daisies for me?”

“I’ll plant every daisy in this world for you.”

“It’ll be beautiful,” you grinned, even though he couldn’t see it, “and one more thing. You have to promise this to me, to Ellie, and to yourself. Don’t be afraid. Never be afraid.”

“I promise,” the crack in this tone made your heart ache, “I promise.”

“Good,” you gave his fingers a squeeze, “now go. Go and go and go until you get there.”

“I love you. Fuck baby, I love you.”

“I love you, Joel.”

It was a few minutes of quiet stillness, only the sound of your breathing and tears reaching your ears. Eventually he pulled his hand away and you could hear him standing up. Sobs wracked your body as you brought your knees to your chest and let it all out. 

Joel looked at Ellie and she wordlessly hugged him; he hugged her back tightly. 

“We should go,” she said so softly that he almost missed. He nodded, squeezing her just a little bit longer before letting go. 

She grabbed his hand as she started to pull him towards the little bed you’d made. It all felt so pointless now. The two of them worked in silence to gather their things to continue their journey. 

Your words were still rattling around in his head. Don’t be afraid.

A gunshot sounded off in the distance as Ellie and Joel walked down the escalator. He froze for a moment as Ellie squeezed his arm.

Don’t be afraid.