Shit Like This Is Why I'm So Devastated By How They Ended Like. James Loved Regulus So Softly So Dearly

finished choices and i genuinely feel like i've just served on the front lines of a battle and barely made it out alive holy shit. fic so devastating i was crying for hours dry heaving and retching like i genuinely LOOKED sick. so devastating it had me crying in public (which I haven't been able to do for years) So heartbreaking It feels like it carved out a piece of me.

the epilogue of choices paralleling the end of the song of achilles is so magical to me. two souls finding their way back together in the next life because this one wasn't ready for them. all the ways patrochilles parallels jegulus in choices is my favourite in general but the ending SPECIFICALLY. Knowing they're together out there is so important to me

you couldn't pay me enough money. absolute masterpiece but i'm never touching that thing with a ten foot pole. i didn't even know i could feel pain on that level

When your card declines at therapy so they make you read choices for the first time again.

he wanted so badly to make things right, to TRY, to do the right fucking thing and he was so close. so close yet so far. it physically hurts

I think the saddest thing about choices is regulus’ death but mostly the part when he tried. He tried to appareate, he tried to sommon broom, he tried to get out, he really fucking tried and that is maybe what is james talking about when he’s talking to lily. I think I see myself in regulus, trying so hard yet failing

obsessed with post first war wolfstar and remus. need a long fic detailing prisoner of azkaban from remus' pov. need remus haunted by his friends' ghosts, sirius' escape and break ins, the months of agonising, FINALLY reuniting with sirius. this is where the money is people.

me reading choices, knowing it's canon compliant, reading regulus believe him and james' love is doomed:

NOOOOO BABY YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY ITS GONNA WORK OUT STOP IT STOP 😭😭😭😭 YOU'RE NOT DOOMED YOU'RE NOT 😭😭😭

ARCANE TIKTOK IS SO FUCKING FUNNY RIGHT NOW OHMYGOD. TEAM JAYCE. ANTI JAYCE. OR NEUTRAL.

One of my favourite things about Choices is how thoroughly interwoven jily and jegulus are. they're always present like a lingering shadow but I wish we had seen more of the time inbetween the end of jegulus and the start of Jily. The guilt James must have felt at moving on, despite everything that went down between him and Regulus. the fact that it was with LILY, who regulus always felt insecure about. And when I think about it too much my heart aches.

Because it was truly so insane. Like I think it hit him so hard. because he loved regulus, truly loved him. Regulus had him, unconditionally, with no strings or games, all of him. and all james wanted was for him to love him back more than he hated himself. more than he was scared. to try another path. to not give up. and he had SO much hope for them, that they would work. And in those moments with Regulus he just felt so full and so happy and then Regulus was gone and left this humongous hole in his life and the only person that can fill it is the very person Regulus was always scared was really meant for james.

it's been a full day and i'm still in catatonic shock over arcane season 2 act 2. i physically can't process what i watched holy shit.

when the fanfiction is so fucking devastating it has you clawing at your chest trying to remind yourself it's just fiction. but i still feel sick and i cant stop crying and everything hurts and aches because it hurt hit too close to home