Practice With Ref From Last Year. It Was An Experiment Really, Trying To See What I Could Do Different

Stop reading my mind. I want romance so bad but the grayaceness is making it so difficult. It’s like a darts game, but you’re blind, you don’t know where the target is and you’re throwing pins instead of darts.

Being graysexual is cool and all until you find an exception to your general-asexual-ness™ and you do not know what to do with yourself so you just ✨️panic✨️

no but I adoreeee the role reversal between kitty and puss when it comes to traditionally masculine/feminine roles in the last wish like idk if it was the same in pib 1 but the way kitty takes the lead when they’re dancing?? she’s his equal in strength not ‘weak cause she’s a woman’ or ‘so powerful her personality is overhauled so she can be a cardboard cutout Strong Woman’?? kitty isn’t left at the altar, she leaves of her own volition because she has a strong handle on what she’s worth and what she deserves?? puss gets to be vulnerable and feel afraid and need others help without it somehow being an attack on his masculinity or it detracting from his bravery?? kittys the one who catches puss in that romantic ass dip when he falls on the boat?? by god he even wears eyeliner. bi4bi girlboss/malewife fr

Writer things

Me doing research/studying for my novel:

-I’m just gonna read this passage of this book

Three hours later*

-Oh fuck

🚨Please stop scrolling — Mutual Aid Request 🚨

I started a new job this week! Yay!!!!!

However I need some help. You see between now & when I get paid, I don’t have any source of income for things like bills and food that can’t be put off.

I need $300 this month for help with expenses that I can’t postpone until after I get paid.

(Originally it was higher, but Twitter helped me get a little over halfway there. I forgot to post here too for a bit. I’m putting off everything that I can afford to until my first paycheck, which should be at the end of the month.)

CashApp - secretladyspider

venmo - secretladyspider

PayPal

Please reblog!

If more people see it, there’s a better chance someone who can help even a smidge will see it too. That’s why shares matter. So if nothing else, please reblog! It makes a difference, I promise.

Thank you for your help as I get back on my feet. 💛

Pretty boi 🌺

Another experiment with the new watercolor paper. I think I’ve only tried to do skin with watercolor once before. At the beginning I thought it looked terrible. But it actually turned out quite okay :D.

I love this one.

As always, DO NOT trace, copy, or otherwise steal credit for this artwork.

I dont care if this isnt possible irl. But, fr, can they turn them into a balloon dragon??

going to get your tubes tied and when ur done ur doctor shows you an ultrasouns and he’s tied them into a perfect baloon dog :)

Thinking of how badly I want this person.

One day we accidentally have the same idea:

After some hours of editing, I put aside the keyboard and look at the clock; 2:30pm. My partner will be back soon, after his shift at the company is done. The last weeks have been tiring for them.

I have time to spare. I walk to the florist, buy their favorite. I walk back and step back in. I notice their shoes by the door and their figure busy in the kitchen, a bouquet of tiger lillies in a vase.

I gasp, they turn. We stare, and laugh. “Jinx!”

We hand each other our bouquets and I kiss them. For some reason, I think their favorite flowers are yellow tulips.

They go well with the tiger lillies, paired up in that vase together. Perhaps they were the flowers we had in our very humble private wedding.

Asexuality: complications

The hardest part about being in the acearo spectrum, is not the alienation or isolation feeling from the rest of people that feel attraction ‘normally’ and the experiences ‘everyone’ relates to. For me, the hardest part is the dating.

Because I actually want a relationship, I want the love and the romance! It’s not that I don’t, I just want it in a different way from what is expected of me, and I haven’t felt anything for anyone in about 6 years! It’s so incredibly frustrating, to hope for that love and know that the chances of me finding another asexual person who I actually feel attracted to and feels the same for me in such a tiny ass country, are minuscule. Or even just any person of any sexuality who is okay with me being asexual and won’t pressure me or feel bad about it or rejected or try to force me or ‘convince’ me into something.

I want the late night cuddles, laying in bed and watching moves together while we share popcorn, I want to hold hands when we’re out outside, go for a hug whenever we want or need to; I want us to turn the lights off and just hug each other in bed while we talk about silly things and giggle, I want to cheer them up when they’re sad and be supported in turn when I’m feeling down; I want to listen to them just talking and be able to smile and just stare dreamily as they do and say ‘I love you’, I want someone who can bear with my rants and the excitement in my eyes when I’ve just read or watched something great and look at me with love and not annoyance or boredom when I do.

I want to hold that someone in my arms tightly all the time, caress their hair, hold their hands, kiss their face when I think they look cute; I want to fluster them and make them stutter, I want us to just be able to walk into the room for a hug whenever, and just leave naturally; I want to hold their hand when we go skating and gently wipe their mouth if they’re eating messily; I want to make them laugh until they’re crying and laugh when they tell a joke; I want to defend them when they’re being put down by someone, I want them to hold my hand and be there to stop me from losing control when my family is treating me like shit, I want us to be there for each other in all ways that we can be.

I want us to kiss if we want to, never feel pressured to, I want us to wake up in bed together in the mornings, legs tangled and feet cold while we get up and make breakfast; I want us to bake cookies together and then get takeout when we’ve forgotten to cook dinner; I want to come home to a dinner in the fridge and someone waiting for me in the couch so we can go to sleep together; I want them to sit on the shower and just let me wash their hair gently; I want to write them little love letters and litter them around the house so they can find them while they clean, I want them to give me flowers when I’ve accomplished something or just because they wanted to; I want us to sleepover and just be close in a non-sexual intimate way; I want to lay my head on your chest and listen to your heartbeat to fall asleep and hold you tight in my arms, just to make sure you’ll be there when I wake up.

But finding love like that is just too hard in these times, and statistically, ny chances are really fucking small. I might have better luck with online dating or if I live in another, bigger country for a while, but that doesn’t make me feel better.

Sometimes the fear of never finding that someone for me just brings me such despair I lay down to cry on my pillow.

Wattpad

Initiation (Age of War 1) - The Old Country

Read The Old Country from the story Initiation (Age of War 1) by PikachuGeeky (Nia) with 54 reads. fantasyfiction, dra...

I just updated my fantasy novel! (Still working on editing the 1 part cuz I’m not very convinced. Will probably edit this newest one more too)

Spitting facts

“I don’t regret us but I wouldn’t do it again.”

— Unknown

Omg ao3 collapsed cuz of a ddos attack. All the addicts are going crazy without a fix.

I’m one of em.