You’ve Got to Forgive Yourself For Being Traumatized And Needing To Learn How To Function Again. 

You’ve got to forgive yourself for being traumatized and needing to learn how to function again. 

Recovery isn’t always nightmares and depression, it’s forgetting to eat, being scared of what others might see as completely normal things, it’s getting random panic attacks, not knowing how to take care of yourself, not knowing how to live like an adult, even if you’re twenty, thirty, forty, fifty, of feeling like you’re failing to function in a world where everyone seems to have their shit together. 

If you need help, ask for it. Go to forums and ask for advice. Take advantage of community resources. Buy pre-sliced veggies and fruits, eat instant meals if you can’t cook for yourself today. Hire someone. Ask a neighbor for a favor. Buy any item you think might make life easier, even if you feel like you aren’t ‘disabled’ enough to have it. 

Some of the depression posts (ie open your windows, take a shower, go outside, call a friend) are really helpful but they’re not always enough. I’ve found advice for spoonies, people with chronic pain or other disabilities have the best tips because they know what it’s like to be bedridden, out of energy, stuck in a brain fog. 

You may never return back to the energy you had when you were younger and you might always need to use crutches to help you through life. It’s the same with medication. 

Trauma is a real thing that happens to you, it physically alters your brain and it’s alright to have lasting scars. 

You’re not broken, your life is not over and you can still be happy. 

It’s not your fault.

More Posts from Nebulus-collective and Others

1 month ago

Nazis will never be welcome in paganism. They have no space in our communities, we will have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to nazis. You have no right to the cultures, gods and religions you hijack to spread your disgusting ideologies. You will find no refuge or comraderie amongst pagans.

Reblog to let nazis know they’re not welcome here.


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3 weeks ago

i love you endogenic systems

i love you traumaendo systems

i love you willogenic systems

i love you neurogenic systems

i love you mixed origin systems

i love you traumawillo systems

i love you nontraumagenic systems

i love you !!! be proud of who you are !!!

1 month ago

Omg so relatable.

[ID: A timeline labeled "Hyperfixation timeline". All of the font is Comic Sans. Each point of the timeline points to a box with an accompanying doodle.

The first point of the timeline is labeled "so much yapping and theorizing and connecting the dots and—", accompanied by an unhinged person at a corkboard. Their pupils are red and staring at the viewer. The label and line on the timeline is also red. The line on the timeline goes up sharply.

The second point of the timeline is labeled "I can't believe I did all of that. That was embarrassing.", accompanied by the person staring awkwardly at the viewer. The line on the timeline goes down sharply. The text and line are black. 

The third point of the timeline is labeled "Oh god fuck I can feel it coming back", accompanied by the person holding their chest as if they were having a heart attack. The label is black, but the line is a dark red. The line creeps upwards again, but then goes back down. 

The fourth point of the timeline is labeled "Haha that was actually just a bluff", accompanied by the person laughing. The line is flat. The text and line are black. 

The fifth and final point of the timeline is labeled "hyperfixation demon", accompanied by the person looking upwards at the timeline in fear as the hyperfixation demon (drawn in red) lurks behind them. The label has an arrow pointing to the hyperfixation demon. The line and label are in red, with the line going up sharply again. /END ID]

What I mean when I do not control the hyperfixation.


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1 month ago

cool fact! writing "you have no reason not to reblog this" or "reblogging this costs you nothing" or "every decent person should reblog this" or any other kind of reblog bait guilt tripping is extremely unfair to those of us with moral ocd / guilt complexes so please fucking stop doing it!


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2 weeks ago

not to be a hedonist but. pleasure IS the whole point, my loves. we are made for pleasure. humans have not survived out of spite or sheer grit or simply to make more humans. we live for pleasure. the pleasure of licking the last delicious crumbs off your fingers and feeling sunlight on your skin and massaging a loved one's shoulders. we're made to fill our bellies with delicious food, to nap in soft grass, to touch each other in joy and comfort.

there is no shame or guilt in our bodies doing what they were made to do. and we are made for pleasure.

1 month ago

btw 'syscourse' and plural infighting isn't accomplishing anything. back in the late 90s and early 2000s, the only communities and resources for plurals that were widely available were for and by non-traumagenic systems. the only people who were advocating for normalizing and accepting plurality on a large scale were non-traumagenic systems. if you did research into plurality 10 - 15 years ago, most of the results that came up would have been experiences written by spiritual and natural plurals.

many people at the time were expressing their dislike of forcing every single plural to identify as if they had trauma- many found this insulting to themselves, and rightfully so! no one should be forced to identify in a way they don't agree with just to rightfully be a part of a community they already occupy. this obsession with "you can only be plural if you have trauma" has only come about extremely recently. i found out about plurality through the otherkin community. i was actually told about DID by someone in the spiritual plurality community. people don't seem to understand that most non-traumagenic systems have respect for traumagenic systems and don't gatekeep their spaces to prevent us from entering.

older plural spaces on the web like healthymultiplicity accepted all plurals. the goal of the community was to show that you can live as plural and not have it be a tragedy or something to "fix". if anything, folks with dissociative disorders owe a LOT to non-traumagenic systems for pushing to normalize plurality without implying that we HAVE to integrate our headmates and try to stop being plural. a huge part of the early online plural community was there to push that plurals can and do live happy lives and shouldn't view their plurality as a bad thing

it's not going to make singlet society see us in a better light. it's not going to get people to understand plurality better. it's not going to get us better mental health resources. it's not going to improve the quality of care for dissociative and traumagenic systems. all you're doing is bullying someone else that you don't understand simply because you don't agree with them.

you're not going to recover from your trauma or understand your own plurality better by denying the existence of other types of plurality. you're not "making the community safer" by gatekeeping. telling other people how their brains work is policing their identities. whether or not you want to accept it, if you forcefully kick endos out of plural spaces, you are the cop you claim to hate.

fighting with people on your own team will never net you a victory. to every other dissociative and traumagenic system: endos are on your side. you are wearing the same jersey. you are made of the same flesh and blood. enough. come together to share your similarities instead of fighting over differences. celebrate the diversity that plurality offers. don't take someone else's identity personally. someone can share the space with you without having to match exactly how you identify. diversity is what makes a community thrive.

1 month ago

Be Openly Scary

Society is scared of a lot of things it shouldn't be. A lot of those things can't be helped, a lot of those things don't hurt anyone, and a lot of those things are not what people even think they truly are.

So you know what?

Talk about your hallucinations, your delusions, your psychotic symptoms. Share things about your gender identity whether it be nonconforming, trans, xenogender or anything else. Scream about your nonhumanity and animal urges. Be open and unwavering about your systems existence, presenting as more-than-one wherever you want. Use and introduce your pronouns, even if people find them weird or offputting. Rock back and forth, pace, twitch and stim in any way you please. Wear things that reflect your identity in public. Get tattoos and body mods to your heart's content. Tell people about your personality disorders.

Don't make yourself small because others can't handle you. Be open where safe. Be you. Be scary.

1 month ago

Litterally me lmao

AuDHD is so funny sometimes like what do you mean my hyperfixations/special interests will last for years on end or possibly forever but they will cycle out every month or two with absolutely no transitional period or warning. like i will think about the same topic every day obsessively for 46 days in a row and on the 47th day with no visible cause adhd brain goes "ok! bored of that now" and autism brain goes "dw i got something queued up for ya" and i blast into full blown obsession on some other topic whose mental file folders haven't opened in 9 months. brain's out here treating hyperfixations like a crop rotation. once the dopamine runs out it cycles in another one but once something's in the rotation it never ever leaves. last summer we brought in one from when i was 11. it's so funny to me but frustrating too bc like. i cannot stress enough my inability to predict or control this. or how completely abrupt and random it can be


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1 month ago

Exactly, like wtf.

...why are there so many singlet alterhumans who are vocally anti-endo....what are they even doing. like these people could be the most radical inclusive physical nonhumans ever that are actively trying to normalize "weird" mental health things and all that crap, and your cursor hovers over the follow button, but then you realize that their dni says "ENDOS F*** YOURSELF KGJHAGSWDJDWJDKADS" huh??? first of all we're your freaking cousins, second of all that's not even your battle to fight


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1 month ago

As awareness of plurality continues to spread online, that also means more and more people will realize they are plural. And unfortunately, there will be a response from certain gatekeepy exclusionist types, who will push back against these newfound systems and insist on invalidating them. They’ll insist they’re just hopping on a trend, or just fooling themselves, or whatever other justification they can make up to maintain the idea that being plural is extremely rare and being plural means suffering for it.

Don’t fall for it. Being plural presents challenges and difficulties without question, but being plural also can bring joys and clarity that weren’t possible otherwise. Being plural can be hard, and it can be beautiful.

No two systems present and function exactly the same ways. No two systems are plural for the exact same reasons. So we can’t expect there to be an absolute common trait present in every system. So any attempt to weed out the “fakers” is pointless and malicious.

If someone believes themself to be plural, they have good reason to. No further “proof” needed. If someone comes to us believing themself to be plural, we will help them along without critique or question. And above all we will be happy for them. Even if someday they realize they aren’t plural, that process of being allowed to question and experiment is so important, and they should be allowed to do so regardless of where they end up.

Plurality is a spectrum that encompasses a vast swathe of experiences and outlooks. It can be difficult to reckon with, which is why community is so vital. And as that community online grows and becomes more and more visible, we should all do our part, systems and singlets, to make sure these newfound systems feel safe, seen, and welcome.


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