Okay aggressive title aside I wanna talk about romantic headmate relationships
I want expressing them to be more normalized!!! I think it's generally well known at this point that headmates can have relationships with each other. But I never see it talked about much beyond that it's a thing that happens.
I wanna hear about how people experience their relationships. I wanna hear what folks do together and how they express their love.
But something we especially wanna hear is how systems do physical affection.
"Physical affection?! But you only have one body!" THAT DOES NOT STOP US IN FACT IT MAKES IT EXTREMELY INTIMATE
We hold our own hands. We kiss our own body. We wrap our arms around ourself. And we want this to be normalized. Okay sure maybe it looks a little odd at first, but this is normal to us. And we want others to see it as normal and okay too.
(I swear to fucking god if "showing headmate affection on camera" becomes the new thing used to fakeclaim like how switching on camera is I will YELL)
I wanna be able to show our affection in front of someone else and make them uncomfortable NOT BECAUSE IT'S OUR OWN BODY but because they're being a third wheel just like to singlet couples.
"Aphrodite loves terfs" do you really think a goddess of love formed from a literal penis and the mother of Hermaphroditus, an intersex god who was associated with androgyny and feminine men, fucks around with transphobia?
she is a literal trans icon and to deny that will get you smited by all the gods
Some of us just come pre-labeled idk man lol
Tbh the more “weird” a person is, the more I get confused when they don’t support other “weird” people
Like how can you be a system and alterhuman and objectum and autistic and trans and queer and schizophrenic etc etc but then be anti endo or anti “contradictory” labels
Like
Like dude those are our cousins what are you talking about
You’re weird as fuck why are you complaining about other people being weird in different ways tf
Omg this makes so much sense.
Omg omg omg. It all makes so much more sense when you realise it's not social anxiety but a fear of being perceived.
Why do you feel more comfortable with a long coat and a mask as opposed to summer clothes?
Why do you DESPISE taking pictures? Especially if it's someone else and not you taking them.
Why do you feel like you have to stop doing whatever it was you were doing when someone passes by?
Why don't you want to tell anyone how leisurely you go about your day, taking a nap, going for a snack, sitting on your phone playing games etc. because you know they will comment on it and even though it's not negative or mockery it's still feels like you've been perceived?
Why can't you make eye contact? Why can you do it only if the other person is looking away but the second when they look at you you stop listening and when you're the one speaking you can't bear to look at them because you know their eyes are on you and they are perceiving you?
Why don't you want to dress excessively or wear nicer clothes? Because you will stand out
People mistake you for shy because you don't speak often, but it's really the fear of drawing attention to yourself more than it is the things you actually say, isn't it?
Why do you hate overpopulated areas even when no one is speaking? BUT you still feel more comfortable when more than one person is in the room (but not too many!) so that the burden of being perceived is directed on someone else and you can safely lay back just observing the scene.
It's all a defence mechanism
Right? Like wtf lmao.
being a system is so funny like. oh something really shitty happened. well time to not know who i am for like a week lol!!!!!!
starts punching and tearing at everything in a blind rage. i want AROMANTIC characters i want characters with not an OUNCE of romance about them i don't JUST want aroace characters i want AROMANTIC characters that AREN'T ASEXUAL i want people to headcanon characters as AROMANTIC not just aroace i want fandom to treat AROMANTICISM as AROMANTICISM, and not a SUBCATEGORY OF ASEXUALITY. RRRAAAAAAAAGHHHHHH
[ID: banner reading "don't tag as ace or aroace"]
(this applies to me pspspsps HMU , don't hesitate, i am always open to respectful discussion of our spiritual paths and just being friends!!)
Litterally me lmao
AuDHD is so funny sometimes like what do you mean my hyperfixations/special interests will last for years on end or possibly forever but they will cycle out every month or two with absolutely no transitional period or warning. like i will think about the same topic every day obsessively for 46 days in a row and on the 47th day with no visible cause adhd brain goes "ok! bored of that now" and autism brain goes "dw i got something queued up for ya" and i blast into full blown obsession on some other topic whose mental file folders haven't opened in 9 months. brain's out here treating hyperfixations like a crop rotation. once the dopamine runs out it cycles in another one but once something's in the rotation it never ever leaves. last summer we brought in one from when i was 11. it's so funny to me but frustrating too bc like. i cannot stress enough my inability to predict or control this. or how completely abrupt and random it can be
btw 'syscourse' and plural infighting isn't accomplishing anything. back in the late 90s and early 2000s, the only communities and resources for plurals that were widely available were for and by non-traumagenic systems. the only people who were advocating for normalizing and accepting plurality on a large scale were non-traumagenic systems. if you did research into plurality 10 - 15 years ago, most of the results that came up would have been experiences written by spiritual and natural plurals.
many people at the time were expressing their dislike of forcing every single plural to identify as if they had trauma- many found this insulting to themselves, and rightfully so! no one should be forced to identify in a way they don't agree with just to rightfully be a part of a community they already occupy. this obsession with "you can only be plural if you have trauma" has only come about extremely recently. i found out about plurality through the otherkin community. i was actually told about DID by someone in the spiritual plurality community. people don't seem to understand that most non-traumagenic systems have respect for traumagenic systems and don't gatekeep their spaces to prevent us from entering.
older plural spaces on the web like healthymultiplicity accepted all plurals. the goal of the community was to show that you can live as plural and not have it be a tragedy or something to "fix". if anything, folks with dissociative disorders owe a LOT to non-traumagenic systems for pushing to normalize plurality without implying that we HAVE to integrate our headmates and try to stop being plural. a huge part of the early online plural community was there to push that plurals can and do live happy lives and shouldn't view their plurality as a bad thing
it's not going to make singlet society see us in a better light. it's not going to get people to understand plurality better. it's not going to get us better mental health resources. it's not going to improve the quality of care for dissociative and traumagenic systems. all you're doing is bullying someone else that you don't understand simply because you don't agree with them.
you're not going to recover from your trauma or understand your own plurality better by denying the existence of other types of plurality. you're not "making the community safer" by gatekeeping. telling other people how their brains work is policing their identities. whether or not you want to accept it, if you forcefully kick endos out of plural spaces, you are the cop you claim to hate.
fighting with people on your own team will never net you a victory. to every other dissociative and traumagenic system: endos are on your side. you are wearing the same jersey. you are made of the same flesh and blood. enough. come together to share your similarities instead of fighting over differences. celebrate the diversity that plurality offers. don't take someone else's identity personally. someone can share the space with you without having to match exactly how you identify. diversity is what makes a community thrive.
Sory for just randomly venting I just have to get this off my chest.
I look for DID and traumagenic content for the relatability, and I just see rampent anti endo/willogenic/mixed origin systems etc.
I just hate how rampent this is. Maybe I've just been in an echo chamber for a while, but the plurality tags are so much more accepting and just better imo.
Thanks for listening to my ted talk.