I Won't Even Lie,I Was Kicking My Feet And Giggling A Bit From This

Shoutout to the time I had to tell my American friend what fanny meant

[nsfw] thinking about a yandere! vampire who’s holding onto the brink of death before he’s saved by you, a nurse.

he’s bleeding out heavily and you’ve just finished a night shift. he’s cursing the skies and clutching onto his stomach with pain before he can make out the shadow of a silhouette, standing over him as tears stream down his cheeks.

he mistakes you for an angel. wondering why you’re here when the life he’s led is far too full of sin to reach a salvation. he’s mumbling nonsense as you tug him into your arms, trying to figure out the best way to go about it.

luckily, the wounds don’t take too long to heal. dangerous, yes, but with enough care his supernatural abilities sped up the process greatly. he can barely bring it in himself to thank you, embarrassed by the fact that he had to be a saved by a human of all things, yet when you offer up your neck he can’t hold back the feral glint in his eyes.

he’s not drunken for days. you’re stunning, and he’d be a fool to deny you. he barely needs a moment to consider before he’s cradling your face and bringing your neck to his lips, lightly sucking on the skin.

the bite itself feels more intimate than it should have. it’s the first time you’ve sent such a sensation, tingles flowing through your veins as he gently prises his teeth through the skin, sucking slowly as though hesitant.

you can’t deny the feeling of pleasure it gives you, and you lean your head back. by the time he’s finished, with blood pooling past his lips which he licks away, the two of you feel lightheaded. he’s staring at you with a gaze so intent, as though trying to wrap his head around your whole character, before he tilts your chin upwards and embraces your lips in a fervent kiss.

the two of you make love that night. he scratches at your skin and trails his tongue across the marks. even as you scream out against him his face is buried in your neck, covering it in kisses left with traces of saliva. he bucks his hips against you with pace, and later tells you to consider it his thank you.

masterlist ₊˚ପ⊹ misc

yandere!prince x reader

yandere!prince x reader (2)

yandere!prince x reader (3)

yandere!prince x reader (4)

yandere!prince x reader (5)

yandere!prince x reader (6)

yandere!prince x reader (7)

yandere!prince x reader (8)

yandere!loser x reader

I do think repressed priests should be allowed to be corrupted and seduced by a demon once or twice. Like, is it really falling into the sin of lust if the devil himself had to send lust incarnate to tempt you? Everyone else is being led off the path by run-of-the-mill humans; you resisted that! You should be allowed to feel the dizzying, corrupt pleasure only a demon can offer. as a treat. You can repent afterwards, if you really think you have to, if you really think something that felt so good was wrong.

Maybe the sex itself isn't even the issue, as we've established you deserved that bit of depravity, but the lingering ache for more- maybe that's your real sin. Now you've had a taste of what's out there, you want it again, don't you? Oh, but everyone aches for something, longs for something they cannot have; it's more human nature than a sin. Really, what's worse? Having sex with a demon or touching yourself, thinking about having sex with a demon?

If you just lie back, let the Demon have you and bring you to orgasm over and over again, are you really even the one sinning there? hardly seems like your fault. You even weakly protested "no" a few times before giving in fully.

When you touch yourself, it's you who's in control, it's your own dirty thoughts and sinful hands that are bringing you pleasure, the sin is entirely your own.

So really, it's the more holy option to invite the demon into your chapel and let them do the hard, dirty work. Keep your hands clean, Father.

And if you can't manage that, if you just have to fist your hands into the demon's hair or grope and touch and feel their hot skin as it presses against you, they can help with that. Bind your wrists and tie you down so you can't sin. Which do you prefer? hands tied behind your back, or should they be clasped in prayer position and bound that way? Either way, you're forced onto your knees for them, you can't touch them, but you can still worship, your tongue is still free- for now, consider it a payment for helping you keep your purity.

Go on and denounce them one more time- tell them how you hate them and their sin before they hook a leg around your shoulder and push your head to their groin. It's alright, they're forcing you into it, so it's not really your fault. It's not really a sin. And no one has to know how much you enjoy it.

Imagine working on an estate and accidentally angering a house fae

NSFW MINORS DNI.

REBLOGS APPRECIATED. REQUESTS OPEN.

Contents: imagine style: human!f x household fae!m.Dubious deals,squirting, breeding ( if you squint) and tit worship.

You spill the milk. You make a deal to get a fae a drink-and that was the biggest mistake EVER.

● In your defense NO ONE HAD TOLD YOU ABOUT THE BOWL OF MILK

● So of COURSE you cleaned it up!

● Thats when everything went wrong and everyone was blaming you.

● It was a BOWL OF MILK it was going to get rancid!!

● But things kept getting worse. Dishes broken. Cupboards flung open. Fresh food spoiled. Your hair violently yanked on more than one occasion as you locked up the kitchen for the evening.

Finally after a particularly awful day you had had ENOUGH. Turning to face the empty kitchen you straighten your violated hair back into its mandated style. Smoothing out your apron only to roll up and fidget with the edges. Eyes nervously etching out terrifying figures in the soft lamp lit room.

● “Very well! I did it and i would like to make it right!” You call out still picking a shadow to scrutinize. Surely this was a trick from the other staff. Surely they were just joking with the new maid.

● “You spilled my milk?” A voice seeps from somewhere beyond the island counter.

● Before you can stop yourself you laugh. “Ha! Ah sorry! Such a phrase. But i see it has hurt your feelings.” slowly walking to peer over into the darkness you tentatively peak over the edge. “I did not know about your milk.”

● “You have left me thirsty! It is unacceptable behavior for all the work i do!”

● “ aye i agree i agree. How may i make this right?” Wrong question

● In hindsight VERY wrong question!

● For when his long clawed hand sneaks up to grasp the counter and you meet his shining dark eyes you are overcome with dread.

● His hand cups your face. Palms rough and textured from work. He was. Manish enough but also all wrong. You cannot take your eyes off his face. Frozen. “You? Make it right? Hmmm.”

● You dont notice his other hand until it undoes the second button on your dress. Then another and another.

● “give me a drink.” He demands another button coming undone. You feel the cold night air on the swell of your breasts.

● “Y-yes sir.” But you cant move to fetch a glass. He wont let you.

● He holds you still by the chin. Smug smile growing. “I will drink from you whenever i am thirsty.”

● “Oh but sir i uhm i-” before you can finish his mouth latches onto your breast. Sucking and rubbing. Roughly playing with your chest as your mewls turn to soft panting moans.

● “Pardon!?” But its too late. Hes tugged your apron down beneath your breasts popping them up. With a slash of a claw the fabric is shredded and youre exposed to him.

● With some sort of magic you are floated up to sit on the counter. He stands between your legs,spreading them wide just like his smile. Mischief dancing in his eyes.“a deal Is a deal.”

● His mouth works, free hand pushing your skirt up over your thighs where he makes quick work exposing the rest of you. Finger rubbing your clit until youre wet and trembling.

● Your breasts and cunt ache for more. Trembling against him. Your fingers lacing through the thick fur like hair along his head. His tail waving excitedly.

● Your cries echo in the empty kitchen. Growing louder and more frantic as he pounds into your body. His eyes never leaving your bouncing breasts. Taking what was his until he spills inside you.And then he does it again with his mouth latched around your breast.

● Popping off your breast he presses you back to lay on the counter. Hand knotting in the top of your apron between your breasts. Pulling your body towards him and right onto his hard cock.

Tormenting you until you're squirting for him.

● “Sir sir please i can't do another one!” You moan as you gasp for air.

● Again and again you cum. More and more pooling on the counter. Your stomach feels full of his spend as an inhuman seed takes root inside you.

● “Sssh ssssh sssh ssssh. You can and you will. I'm almost done for the night.”

● He fucked you until you fall limp. As you wake up you can see him and his tongue lapping up your pleasure from the table.

● His eyes meet yours- and he's gone.

● Until the next night when he drinks from you again…..

🫡Fic format/continuations available upon request.🫡

please tell me Leander stalks the other LIs. please, PLEASE tell me Leander REGULARLY STALKS the other LIs.

He can't always do it himself, of course! That's what his Adders are for. They listen to him and obey without question, and report back with their findings. Of course, since Kuras, Mhin, Ais, and Vere are the only people worth talking about, it's not as if the request is odd, anyways. Leander wants to know everything: common routes, people they interact with regularly, what they do when they think no one is looking.

Sometimes Leander gets tired of missing the details you lose through a secondhand account, though, and he does the footwork himself. Trailing people at a distance, picking up dropped trinkets and scraps of paper. Chatting people up as soon as his target has left the conversation. No one ever suspects anything: Leander's always walking the streets of Lowtown, after all, so it's not uncommon to see him here and there making small talk.

Of course, even if he doesn't stalk anyone (sigh), I love the idea that whenever he's talking to the other LIs, or even just within listening distance of them, he's taking mental notes. Just in case. He might need leverage later.

Had a sip of mal/bloatware with my milk :[

hey folks if you have an android phone: google shadow installed a "security app".

play.google.com

Android System SafetyCore - Apps on Google Play

Provides safety features for Android devices.

I had to go and delete it myself this morning.

Yandere! Sea Monster x Reader

In the spirit of Mermay, I come to you with a slightly different approach: an octopus hybrid, dwelling in the dark depths of ancient waters. :) Hopefully close enough to the sea monster you imagined, @wally0117

Content: gender neutral reader, male yandere, monster romance, reader likes sharks (a lot); inspired by The Shape of Water and My Octopus Teacher; photo from Whalebone Magazine

He’s always been aware of humans, naturally. Observed them from the beginnings of time, from the very first rudimentary attempt of a boat that crossed his waters. Though he can only guess how these creatures exist, how they breathe, how they move. What arrives in his depths is always a corpse of some sort. Bloated, decaying carcasses, rarely intact, whether chipped by fish or by time. Everything else is left to his imagination.

Until today. The fish are restless, the currents are stronger. Something must be happening above, stringing him along curiously. His many legs sway in tandem, opening and closing, as he investigates the source of interest. His pale white eyes narrow to a mere squint, unused to the light of the surface levels. At last, he finds it: a human.

Yet this one is unusual. Intact - save for the bleeding wound - and unlike the washed-out, cadaveric blue tint he’s normally accustomed to. He notices a twitch of the limb and it dawns on him: this one is still alive.

You wake up with a violent cough, thrusting out the leftover liquid that had invaded your lungs earlier. You clearly remember drowning, so how did you end up on shore again? The answer reveals itself rather quickly: a monstrous creature, albeit humanoid for the most part. The upper half resembles a man, but the torso ends in thick, enormous tentacles, now flopped onto the sand, surrounding your body. You search for the creature’s face, framed by translucent tendrils that seem to replace what you’d expect as hair.

“Thank you”. He scans your features and remains silent. Does he even understand human speech? After a moment of consideration, he looks ahead, surveying the water, then returns to you, giving you a nudge. He most likely wants to know how you ended up in that situation to begin with. “That’s, well…”

Conveniently enough, the monster has brought you back to your little camp, so you reach for your backpack and pull out a book. Of course, no words can ever replace the image itself. With renewed enthusiasm, you open your encyclopedia and turn it towards the man, showing him a photo of a sand tiger shark, tapping on it excitedly. “I was looking for sharks!”

Ever since the bizarre, life-saving encounter, you’ve been returning to the same spot most days. And without exception, the monster will be waiting for you in one of the neighboring caves. Judging by the pellucid, pale skin and his reluctance to be in the light, you guessed early on that he might be a creature of the depths.

One that has been around for a long time, it seems. Once he understood your interest in sharks and other aquatic animals, he developed a liking to play guide for you, silently touring you through forests of kelp, hidden caves, labyrinths of reefs and hills. He knows where the animals linger, and they don't scurry away when you approach. You've never dreamed of being so close to them, staring into their eyes and tracing their fins as they swim past you, unbothered and relaxed. The monster will gaze at you from a distance, amused by your passion.

On ground, you’ve begun your own little experiment: can the octopus creature learn sign language? You didn’t need long to discover how intelligent he is, mimicking your gestures with flawless ease, instantly memorizing the meanings, the connections, the implications. He seems to be terribly delighted by this newfound tool of communication, often asking you questions with earnest curiosity.

Ah, yes, the questions. It makes sense that he’d want to know more about humans, though his interrogations are rather…particular. Specific. It’s less about humans as a whole, and more about you. How long have you been swimming here? How deep can you actually swim, with or without aid? Might you have a family waiting for you back home? A mate, perchance? No? Interesting.

"My vacation will end soon", you sign with pursed lips. He tilts his head. "Leaving?" his webbed hands gesture, somewhat uneasy. You nod. You can discern a glint of melancholy in his eyes. Eventually, he resumes: "Would you like to see my home?" Your eyebrows raise in surprise. His home? Down there? Was such a thing even achievable for a human like you?

The plump suckers attach themselves to your skin, one resting over your mouth. "Do you trust me?" You cast one final glance over the underwater abyss, a black hole trapping all light and matter. You shake your head in approval. Without hesitation, he plunges over the cliff, pulling you after him and into the yawning void of darkness. His form glows eerily, and his movement is swift and elegant. You can tell this is his land, his territory. You would've been dead a long time ago.

He releases you on the wet stone, inside the air pocket of a cave. You need a few moments to overcome the wave of claustrophobia pressing against your lungs. As you catch your breath, you recall your long path from the surface. It would be impossible to make it back out again without your friend. A cold shiver runs across your spine. "Have a break, and I'll show you everything else afterwards", he gestures with a smile. "How long will it take? I don't want to walk back at night", you explain.

Silence. You stare into his empty orbs, awaiting a reaction. There's not a sound, not a gust of wind, not a shred of light. "You're not going back", he finally answers.

You see, he's done a fair amount of research himself. He doesn't need an encyclopedia to figure you out: how you breathe, how you move, how you exist. In fact, he is rather confident in his ways of helping you adapt to a life spent together. He would've never brought you down here if he wasn't certain of your survival. His grin widens in anticipation, a strange warmth enveloping his innards at the mere thought of it: a future with you in it, right here. However, one question remains, a cheeky, perverted detail that has been on his mind from the moment he met you, yet he could never investigate it properly.

How do humans mate?

i can't tell if this is funny