Sexy Knights. Sexy Wounded Knights. Sexy Wounded Weary Knights. Sexy Wounded Weary Knights In The Rain.

i just wish the frightening ghoul would say something. for once. the silence is more disconcerting than anything it might say

New daydream scenario just dropped

How about if the reader (that's us) were Samara Morgan (from the movie The Ring)?

Y'know what, I can see it. Chronically online loser boy with a fixation on horror manages to obtain an old VCR tape that's supposedly cursed. When it comes, he's practically bouncing on his heels with excitement. He went to the thrift shop all on his own to get a VCR to watch it on and everything!

When he pops the tape in, all that excitement drains away. He was expecting something spectacularly creepy, something he could brag to his buddies on r/GenuinelyHauntedGoodies about. Instead it's just a low quality tape with shitty b-roll and bad sound.

When the phone rings the second the tape ends, he assumes it's the pizza guy getting lost again.

"I told you, it's Elm Street. Not Eve-"

"Seven days..." Your voice is scratchy with static and his heart jumps in his chest.

"Yo, I think you've got the wrong numb-"

Click.

For someone so into horror, he's real slow to pick up on the signs in his own life. Nightmares about a well and a dead girl? He just had too much Mountain Dew before bed. Doors creaking in the middle of the night? Must be the humidity messing with the hinges. The guy who sold him the tape calling him in a panic two days before his obituary shows up in the paper? Weird, but definitely a coincidence.

It's only when the tape starts playing on its own that he starts to get a little sketched out. It's probably just the VCR being old and stuff, right? He forces the tape out of the slot and the screen goes black. See? Just the side effects of old, obsolete technology. He's halfway out the door before he hears it.

Click.

He freezes. He can hear the static again, the sound of leaves crunching under your feet. He turns and there you are, getting closer and closer to the screen, your dress soaked and sticking to your skin.

Holy shit. Holy. SHIT. Haunted dead girl and she's a total babe.

When you put your palms on the glass and start pushing your way into the real world, he almost can't believe his luck. It's finally happening! A genuine haunting! He's been waiting for years.

You expect him to scream, to run away, to start praying to a God he only half believes in. Instead he squats down so you're on eye level and asks...

"Can you do the back bend thing from the Exorcist? 'Cause I think that would be like so hot."

You growl, throat still waterlogged. He tuts and waves the tape in front of your face.

"Full words babe. You want to keep haunting people right? Want to get back to your cozy little well?"

He looks you over and can barely believe you're real. A hot girl on her knees is his living room? Hell fucking yeah!

"Listen up hot stuff. You do what I say and I won't crush your little tape into dust, 'kay? I'll even let you keep killing people in your spare time, if it's that important to you."

You blink. What is wrong with this guy? You've seen plenty of coping mechanisms, but this is just taking the piss.

He gets impatient waiting for you to answer. "Fine. If you want to do things the hard way..."

He stands and brings the tape down on the edge of the coffee table. Hard. The plastic cracks right along the centre and small black chips scatter across the room.

You flinch and pull backwards. He follows you, opposite edges of the tape in each hand like he wants to snap it straight in half.

"What do you say gorgeous? We got a deal?"

There are some things not even a ghost is equipped to deal with.

"Fine," you rasp, "Deal."

"Sweet!" He shoves the tape in his back pocket. "Now about the back bend thing..."

The world is full of freaks and horrors. And you make the mistake of thinking you're the only one.

[What popped into my head when I read the ask]

Shoutout to the time I had to tell my American friend what fanny meant

Imagine a swap AU where a gooner accidentally hires a bunch of henchmen

yandere! loser and villain! reader guys OMG

reader who wants new henchmen so they send out a requests online for goons... only for loser yan to show up. you know, as you'd expect a gooner to respond to a poster calling for the best gooners to meet up in a totally not suspicious location where ANYTHING could happen.

"soooo do i goon now? where are the others? is this not a group goon session?"

"what? yes obviously, it's a group goon meetup. no one ese showed up though so you're automatically one of my goons- what? hey! stop! put your dick back in your pants!"

"but... you told me to goon?"

clearly, you two had very different meanings of 'goon'. and it looks like mr loser over here did NOT want any of the responsiblities that came with your definition of goon.

"what? you want me to rob him?"

"yes, you are my evil goon now. therefore you have to carry out my evil deeds."

"but... but i came here for the gooning..."

"yes, and THIS is the gooning i want you to do."

he doesn't want ANYTHING to do with your evil ahhh acts man. like, he's here for a good time, he is NOT trying to get in prison.

"this is not what was advertised in your hiring poster!"

"oh come on, man up a little. it's not like i'm telling you to kill anyone."

"you're telling me to poison your enemies!"

"yeah, and?"

you don't understand him at all. why is he so horny? isn't your definition way more fun and engaging anyway? why's he so hesitant? meanwhile your new gooner is literally on the verge of jumping. but!! but he's holding back because lowkey you're kinda hot... what if he can get you to-

"no."

"but why?! i literally jumped this guy for you!"

"i am NOT sitting on your face."

it's all fun and games until a SECOND gooner shows up and your singular goon is chasing them away. no, he's not letting anyone steal your attention away from him. the more he spends time with you, the more he feels like hey... maybe... maybe this was mean to be.

maybe you were the one he was meant to goon for all along.

that's... that's why he became goon². to in one fun pack.

"hey what are you doing?!"

"i'm the only gooner you need. they probably just wanna jerk off anyway. i'm way more useful."

"...but you just jerk off anyway?? you don't even do the work i tell you to do."

"and?"

[nsfw] thinking about a yandere! vampire who’s holding onto the brink of death before he’s saved by you, a nurse.

he’s bleeding out heavily and you’ve just finished a night shift. he’s cursing the skies and clutching onto his stomach with pain before he can make out the shadow of a silhouette, standing over him as tears stream down his cheeks.

he mistakes you for an angel. wondering why you’re here when the life he’s led is far too full of sin to reach a salvation. he’s mumbling nonsense as you tug him into your arms, trying to figure out the best way to go about it.

luckily, the wounds don’t take too long to heal. dangerous, yes, but with enough care his supernatural abilities sped up the process greatly. he can barely bring it in himself to thank you, embarrassed by the fact that he had to be a saved by a human of all things, yet when you offer up your neck he can’t hold back the feral glint in his eyes.

he’s not drunken for days. you’re stunning, and he’d be a fool to deny you. he barely needs a moment to consider before he’s cradling your face and bringing your neck to his lips, lightly sucking on the skin.

the bite itself feels more intimate than it should have. it’s the first time you’ve sent such a sensation, tingles flowing through your veins as he gently prises his teeth through the skin, sucking slowly as though hesitant.

you can’t deny the feeling of pleasure it gives you, and you lean your head back. by the time he’s finished, with blood pooling past his lips which he licks away, the two of you feel lightheaded. he’s staring at you with a gaze so intent, as though trying to wrap his head around your whole character, before he tilts your chin upwards and embraces your lips in a fervent kiss.

the two of you make love that night. he scratches at your skin and trails his tongue across the marks. even as you scream out against him his face is buried in your neck, covering it in kisses left with traces of saliva. he bucks his hips against you with pace, and later tells you to consider it his thank you.

When half your sinners are dead and the guest ID corroded into a WAW E.G.O :)

They may, in fact, be cooked.

look okay nearly every project moon character is the character of all time on account of the literary references and layers of bullshit but Ricardo truly IS the character of all time. He wears a leopard print fur cape and no shirt. His hair is hot pink. He would chase someone across the high seas and to the opposite side of the country because he wanted to kill them for stealing his hair coupons. EDM music follows him around and it IS diegetic. He loves cute things and decorates his Book of Vengeance (where he writes the names of everyone who has ever wronged him so he can punish them for it) with kitty stickers. The gang he’s from is called the Middle Finger and all the guys he leads call him Big Bro and really truly mean it. His favorite positive descriptor is “luscious” and his favorite negative one is “bristly” and he’ll use them in situations where they shouldn’t be applied. He lives in a world where you are more likely to become a pile of gore than survive another day and but instead of turning into blood and meat he just gets launched like Team Rocket. The chains and tattoos aren’t even a remarkable part of his design since that’s just what The Middle is like. I got so caught up describing how strange he is that I forgot to say that he kills people by punching and kicking them to death

This is so utterly hairraisingly ridiculous that you wish she made that story up, but it is unfortunately true.

I'm screaming @redspringstudio was this intentional

I do think repressed priests should be allowed to be corrupted and seduced by a demon once or twice. Like, is it really falling into the sin of lust if the devil himself had to send lust incarnate to tempt you? Everyone else is being led off the path by run-of-the-mill humans; you resisted that! You should be allowed to feel the dizzying, corrupt pleasure only a demon can offer. as a treat. You can repent afterwards, if you really think you have to, if you really think something that felt so good was wrong.

Maybe the sex itself isn't even the issue, as we've established you deserved that bit of depravity, but the lingering ache for more- maybe that's your real sin. Now you've had a taste of what's out there, you want it again, don't you? Oh, but everyone aches for something, longs for something they cannot have; it's more human nature than a sin. Really, what's worse? Having sex with a demon or touching yourself, thinking about having sex with a demon?

If you just lie back, let the Demon have you and bring you to orgasm over and over again, are you really even the one sinning there? hardly seems like your fault. You even weakly protested "no" a few times before giving in fully.

When you touch yourself, it's you who's in control, it's your own dirty thoughts and sinful hands that are bringing you pleasure, the sin is entirely your own.

So really, it's the more holy option to invite the demon into your chapel and let them do the hard, dirty work. Keep your hands clean, Father.

And if you can't manage that, if you just have to fist your hands into the demon's hair or grope and touch and feel their hot skin as it presses against you, they can help with that. Bind your wrists and tie you down so you can't sin. Which do you prefer? hands tied behind your back, or should they be clasped in prayer position and bound that way? Either way, you're forced onto your knees for them, you can't touch them, but you can still worship, your tongue is still free- for now, consider it a payment for helping you keep your purity.

Go on and denounce them one more time- tell them how you hate them and their sin before they hook a leg around your shoulder and push your head to their groin. It's alright, they're forcing you into it, so it's not really your fault. It's not really a sin. And no one has to know how much you enjoy it.