Reading The Familiar Right Now. I Am Craving A Pomegranate So Bad😭

I still can't breathe

“do you think that there is a corner of this earth that you could travel to far away enough to free me from this torment? i am a gentleman. my father raised me to act with honor, but that honor is hanging by a thread that grows more precarious with every moment i spend in your presence. you are the bane of my existence. and the object of all my desires. night and day, i dream of you. and what i…do you even know all the ways a lady can be seduced? the things i could teach you.”

It’s exhausting

lol i hate today’s era of absolutely zero nuance takes. a friend didn’t behave exactly as you’d wanted them to? cut them off. a guy didn’t text you back instantly bc he has his own life? he’s just giving you breadcrumbs. doing something makes you uncomfortable? don’t do it anymore. someone isn’t instantly available for you? disinterest. just absolutist statements that often don’t apply to the multilayer situations of everyday life. like. stop. literally just stop it

anthony bridgerton is the most MESSY person alive im literally on the floor. he’s like i will have a terrible time finding a wife, what is poetry idk what that is, i will be the pettiest man alive, i will make the most ABSURD faces at the sister of the girl im trying to woo (affectionate and derogatory), i’ll bite ur dog, idk what women like lol i’ll just give her a horse, time to go crash a party ig, i will pout like a baby if you steal my mallet, how dare you insult my boots, miss sharma is AGGRAVATING why am i FEELING things for her literally what is this, oh wait it’s love lol gotta propose to her sister now, tHaT kNoT wOnT hOLd, oh no i’ve fallen in the water ahaha how silly of me. his entire demeanor is just “looks like i can’t gaslight gatekeep girlboss my way out of this one folks ://” and i love him SO much for it literally what an icon

i have this silent awe and appreciation for experience and wisdom that comes with time. when monotony and redundancy turn into a craft, when the amateur turns into an expert, when it becomes effortless to others. but there is practice hidden underneath it all. years of it. it is how my father can measure distances without any instruments because he has been an engineer for so long and his kids watch him do it in awe. it is how i know just the correct amount of milk and sugar when i make coffee for the people i love and they think it to be alchemy. it is the combination of efficiency and knowledge that only time can bring. gifted talents are great, but a time-honed talent is labor and repetition. you claim it as your own because time has made it yours, time has etched it like a schoolkid etches their initials on the desk over a period of time

I think You're Losing Me doesn't need to resonate only in a romantic-relationship type of way. The bridge particularly encapsulates perfectly how much it hurts when you are the type of person who is used to chasing after the people you love, albeit a partner, a friend, or a family member. The hard part is when you realize that it's only been you working all along for the relationship and they don't care enough to chase after you at all or even meet you halfway. You get tired and you realize that you need to give up because begging cannot make a person care. You realize you've been holding your broken heart together by sheer hope that they might see how much you've been hurting for them to see you.

Oh this is too good.

and it’s really such a shame ’cause i was miss here to stay... goodbye mr. perfectly fine, how’s your heart after breaking mine?

You don't need to feel so much shame all the time. You're allowed to struggle, you're allowed to take breaks, you're allowed to be kind to yourself. Let yourself be <3.

Encanto magic rant

So. I loved Encanto very much. I am Latin American and that movie speaks so much to me because I love and appreciate my culture so much. But I've run into people that don't feel the same story-wise. They said there was something missing or not quite making sense so here I am just having watched some parts of the movie over again.

Story-wise this movie is different since it doesn't exactly follow the structure of other animated Disney movies: introduction, problem, climax, resolution (or something like that--remember I'm just here to rant). Encanto focuses so much on its characters and their introductions that I believe they become the plot itself. There is no villain, only an antagonist in Abuela Alma. There are no clear answers to many questions (Why did Mirabel not get a gift? What was her gift in the end? Did she even have one? Where did the magic come from? Why did it burn out? Why did it come back?), only interpretations can be made. I'll share my interpretations of these questions next.

Well, first of all, if Encanto is as based on Latin American literature as I think it is, then the magic just is. It exists. It doesn't need a reason. Magical Realism as a genre is just magic within the "normal" world with no explanation needed. It just exists and intertwines with regular life. So that's that on that explanation lol.

(This is the moment to add a disclaimer: I absolutely empathize with Abuela Alma. She went through a lot, but it doesn't change nor justify her actions or the repercussions these had on her family. I still love her even though I hated her a lot a little in the movie. Ok. It's complicated, I know.✨Latin American family dynamics.✨ Moving on.)

Regarding Mirabel's gift here's where it gets interesting. I believe that Mirabel has the gift that was supposed to be Abuela Alma's. Abuela Alma was given the candle, hence the Encanto, for safety; she was basically appointed the leader of the people with her. Her purpose was to keep the Encanto safe. But the Encanto is not only the physical place--her children are a part of it as well, as they are magical and so is every descendant of theirs. So, what happens when the children and grandchildren don't feel happy or safe because of the pressure Alma puts on them? The Encanto fades away (or breaks) because Alma is not caring for the Encanto (her family) properly.

Here's where Mirabel comes in. She is the one most in contact with their Casita: she speaks to it, notices the small changes in its behavior, gets the most help from it, etc. She is the one noticing something wrong with the magic in general and is the one that starts looking for a way to fix it, while Alma, who is supposed to be its protector and caretaker, just brushes Mirabel's worries off and accuses her of jealousy. A clear example of this is in the scene with Isabela's song where Mirabel listens and understands how unhappy Isabela has always been with her role in the family. Right after she accepts Isabela for who she wants to be and Isabela starts using her gift in a way that makes her happy the cracks in the Casita begin to heal. Mirabel's acceptance and nurture keep the family together. That's her gift.

Mirabel helps her family realize that they are not their gifts. Look at Luisa--she feels absolutely useless without her gift to the point where she breaks down because she loses it. Alma sort of conditioned her love with the magical gifts given to each family member. And without their gifts, Alma wouldn't appreciate them (look what happened to Mirabel) and that didn't make them feel safe or happy. Only when they all felt loved and safe and accepted for being their true selves (without their magic) was the magic able to come back. And who did that? Mirabel. And how did it happen? When she put the knob on the door like how the rest of her family members got their own gifts and rooms. Only she didn't get a mere room, she got a magic HOUSE that is supposed to reflect her gift. And who inhabits it? Her FAMILY.

In the end, Alma and Mirabel's gift (according to my theory) is not physical like the rest of their family's, their gift is more subjective. They are protectors.

If you made it this far, I love you, thanks for reading my rant❤️

this year will be wonderful. you will meet new people who will feel like sunlight. someone out there will be lucky enough to meet you. you will see breathtaking views. you will learn so much knowledge from your studies and gain so much wisdom. there will be bad days but you will heal and start again in the morning. you will discover what makes you happy. you will fill up journals with scribbles and messy drawings. you will feel low and make mistakes but they will help you become a stronger person. you will pick up new things that give your life meaning and you will pour your heart into it. you will find songs that speak to you more than anything else in the world. you will grow. this year is waiting for you and it’s beautiful.