Doctors Will Give Me A Test And Go “well Obviously We Hope It’s Not That” And I’m Sitting There

barely having symptoms for a few days made me think i was cured... turns out that isn't the case

everytime i am out of a flare i convince myself i am usually dramatic and this won't impact my life in any significant way in the future... then the next flare is coming up and changes my mind real quick

i don’t know. i’m barely a person. i just want to be kind and hold someone’s hand. eat an ice cream cone. stare at the lake. feel the sun on my skin. lay in the grass. run through a sprinkler. it’s so easy to forget life is supposed to feel like a deep breath and not a gasp

i just went climbing today which is something that will probably send me into a flare up, but omg it was so much fun...

i wish i could do things like that without consequences

cluster headaches SUCK

i'm just existing and my head is all like *ouch* *ouch* *ouch*

had a low fever for almost a week now, but am refusing to see a doctor cause "not like they would do much"

and that's on doctors constantly dismissing people with chronic illness

sometimes i forget you can actually just pass out from pain

my body just said "nope"

had to cancel so many plans with my friends recently...

do they seem mad? -nope

did they say that they are mad? -nope

do i still think that they are mad? -absolutely

healthy people will never understand the amount of joy i feel when i come home dreading having to feed myself to then realize i still got leftovers

feeling hungover and drunk at the same time eventhough i didn't drink and am actually just chronically ill