My Fav Assassin Everyone, Altaïr

Sephiroth: I won't announce my descent into madness, but there will be signs.

Zack: Such as?

Sephiroth: Such as a sign that reads Nibelheim, 57 Miles Ahead.

Finally... FINALLY

His card... IS FINALLY MINE

internet friends are kinda like illegally downloaded friends. you don’t get the physical copy but you still get all the great content

Barbatos Is So Pretty

You cannot tell me that he isn't pretty. He's even prettier than Asmo! Fuck getting that simeon card! I need to have this card

GN! MC

You spit out your beverage as you stare at Barbatos with wide eyes who's apparently now a woman. Yes. A woman. The butler notices your staring and sighs, knowing that you're staring at him because he's now the opposite gender. "MC, I know that I've changed into a woman but staring is considered rude, you know?"

You quickly snap back to reality and turn away, laughing nervously. "Ahaha, well, I can't help it."

Barbatos sighs once again but smiles nonetheless. "It's fine. It's understandable why you stare but I appreciate it if you don't. Anyway, I'll be off."

You take one last look at Barbatos, watching as he walks away until he's no longer within your sight. Then, you immediately combust, face turning red and you bury your face in your hands.

'He's so pretty!', you thought.

Yes, he was extremely pretty, prettier than Asmodeus even. With his long hair flowing so nicely as he walks, his lips looking softer and plumper than before and his face so feminine and beautiful that you couldn't help but want to touch. He was so beautiful as a woman that you're now questioning if you like him better as a man or a woman.

"Yo!" A hand harshly hits your back, making you jump.

You turn to face Solomon who's looking at you with a smirk. He then puts a hand on your shoulder and leans towards you. "So, what did you think of Barbatos' new look?"

"What?" It took you a while to register his words. "Wait, you did that?"

"Yes, but not intentionally. You see, I was trying out a new spell to make one disintegrate into thin air but I must've put in the wrong ingredient because while I was going to test it on some random demon asshole, I accidentally bumped into Barbatos because I was in a hurry and now here we are." The wizard explains.

"I'm surprised he isn't angry."

"I'm more surprised he hasn't killed me yet."

Internally, you are praising and thanking Solomon for blessing you with such a thing because Barbatos is so fucking pretty as a woman. As if your friend can read your mind, he smirks and pokes your cheek. "You like him better this way, don't you?"

Your face is immediately flaming once again. "N-No! W-Well... Maybe..."

Solomon's smirk widens. "Oh?"

"You can't blame me! He looks so pretty that I... I, well... Gah! Forget it!" You get flustered when you remember Barbatos again.

"C'mon. Don't tell me you weren't looking."

"I am looking respectfully!"

"Liar."

"Shush!"

You cover your face again and shout out incoherent sentences but if Solomon had to guess, he bets you were saying something like, "Barbatos is so pretty, it's not fair."

The wizard laughs and pats your back. "Let it all out, buddy. I gotta admit, if he were a woman, I'd totally try and woo him. Definitely my type."

You turn your head towards Solomon so quickly you might as well be the Flash. "How dare you."

"Just because I say I'd fuck him, doesn't mean I'd actually do that." He laughs, making you glare at him.

Sure, not like you wouldn't do the same.

100% am the second one

are you the "i dont like sitting on chairs so i'll sit on the floor" neurodivergent or the "i dont like sitting on chairs so i'll sit on top of a counter or the table or any high place" neurodivergent? im the second one

Solomon x GN! MC

Warning! Death, angst

*****

Solomon, a powerful wizard, is your lover. How you manage to acquire his love and attention is beyond everyone else and even you sometimes, but you're glad that you're his and he's yours. Unfortunately, your medical background doesn't paint a pretty picture for you.

It's been at least three months since you and Solomon has been together, madly in love. How you wish that you didn't have to break news to him but you must since he will find out sooner or later. You have informed the seven avatars and angels that your condition is deteriorating with Lord Diavolo and Barbatos already knowing beforehand. As much as you wanted to live, knowing what happened to their sister, Lilith, you didn't want to cause more harm than you've already done.

"Hey, MC." Mammon starts up a conversation while you're watching both him and Leviathan play a game.

You hum in response. With much hesitation, the greedy demon asks, "When are ya' going to tell him?"

Silence. Leviathan elbows Mammon in the guts as you thought of a response, finally answering his question with, "Tomorrow. It'll be cruel if I continue this charade with him."

A dry laugh emits from your starting to pale lips. "I'm so cruel to him, aren't I? He deserves someone better, not someone who's dying so easily from a disease."

The moment the words rolled off your tongue, Mammon and Leviathan abandon their game, not caring that their characters are getting killed on screen. The secondborn grabs your shoulders and gently shakes you, saying, "Are ya' crazy? It's us and him that don't deserve ya'!"

"For once, Mammon's right. Don't ever say that again, MC!" The envious demon said in turn.

But they only receive yet another short and dry laugh. "I only have one month left to live. No one can help me now nor will I ever live as long as Solomon hoped. I... I'm such a terrible partner and friend."

This time, it's the thirdborn who shakes you by the shoulders. "No, you're not! You're the one who managed to keep up together! Without you, who knows what would've happened to us! To Belphegor even!"

A sad, small smile manage to make its way to your lips. "I don't know what have I done to deserve you guys but I'm glad to have met you."

*****

The next day arrived quicker than you've had anticipated. Handkerchief in hand, you cover your mouth with the small cloth as you cough into it while mentally hoping that blood doesn’t stain your handkerchief. Lucifer and Satan, who are by your side, only looks at you with concerned looks, feeling useless and helpless since they can't do anything to help except be there for you.

"MC!" A familiar cheery voice is heard from behind. Oh, how have the Fates become to cruel.

You quickly hide the cloth in your pocket and turn to Solomon with the same lovely smile you always give him. "Yo', Solomon!"

Taking their cue to leave, Lucifer and Satan leaves you with your lover. Once you two stand face-to-face with each other, your lovely smile is slowly replaced with a sorrowful look on your face. The wizard quickly took note of this and questions about your sudden change in expression.

You tightly grab his hand as if your life depended on it, staring into his eyes. A barely audibly whisper 'follow me' left your lips as you drag him to somewhere private. After checking that nobody will eavesdrop on your conversation, you let our a sigh and your heartbeat begins to pick up its pace.

Your silence only makes Solomon worry more and a million negative thoughts occupy his mind. Do you want to break up with him? Did you not love him anymore? Did something bad happened? Unfortunately, what you said only made him stare at you with both shock and horror.

"Solomon, I have to tell you about my... My health. It's getting worse the last few months and both Lucifer and Lord Diavolo tried their best to find the best doctors from each realm to try and help me but... There's no cure. There's... Not much time left for me."

Solomon refuses to believe those words. He takes a step back and shakes his head. "Th-This is n-not funny, M-MC. P-Please t-tell me it's a joke."

But you shake your head. "I wish it was but it's not a joke. I'm dying, Solomon. I only have one month left to live."

"N-No. No, no, no. M-Maybe I can learn a-a healing spell o-or whip up a-"

You shut him up by grabbing his hands and placing your head against his chest, hearing his rapid heartbeat. "Please, Solomon. If Lord Diavolo or Simeon can't do it, what can you do? We're only humans, Solomon. We're the weakest of the three realms. What makes you think you can find a spell, much less a cure for me? My time is almost up, Solomon. At least let me spend my last moments with the people I love."

Still, he refuses to believe you but... "Fine. Fine. I-I'll respect that."

You feel wet droplets soaking your scalp but you couldn't care less. The both of you stayed like that until the bell rung. Unfortunately, your classes with Solomon are very little and limited so when you exit the room, he hugs you tightly before sadly parting from you.

Ever since that day, Solomon tries to spend as much time with you and even sleeps with you with Lucifer's permission. When your condition worsened however, Lord Diavolo has declared that you no longer have to attend school and is issued to be moved to his castle so that Barbatos can take care of you.

The week of the retreat that is held at Lord Diavolo's castle has came around. How unfortunate can you be? It's also your last week here. Upon finally meeting you, Solomon is quick to engulf you in a tight, warm hug.

Your last week is spent with everyone you loved, like what you've requested to the wizard but time doesn't wait for no one. Your body is extremely weak to the point where you sometimes would fall and pass out. Your coughing fits have become a frequent and daily thing, much to everyone's dismay. Your energy is slow to replenish, your health deteriorating quickly, your face looks like you haven't slept in days and your life force quickly fading away.

Today is the last day of retreat and also your last day on Earth. You wish you hadn't been chosen for this exchange program as you knew that you've hurt everyone but at the same time, you're glad as well or else you would never meet such amazing people, especially Solomon.

In your temporary room, Asmodeus does your makeup to make you seem more lively than ever before for everyone. Your tired eyes only stare out of the window, the dark sky decorated by sprinkles of lights and a crescent moon. Breathing has also becoming an exercise for you, only receiving oxygen through your mouth. As Asmodeus works on your blush, you suddenly have a coughing fit.

The fourthborn quickly grabs your handkerchief and hands it to you to which you quickly snatch it from his hand and cover your mouth with. After a few moments, you wipe your mouth and look at the pool of scarlet that the cloth had manage to absorb. Asmodeus only sighs at the sight, quickly applying the blush for you before you could have another fit.

"There we go." He stands up and smiles at you as if you were a piece of priceless artwork. "You look stunning."

"Thanks, Asmo." You stand up and approach the mirror provided in the room. In the mirror, you do appear to have more life.

"Let's go." The demon opens the door for you and helps you walk towards the ballroom.

When you arrive to your desired area, the wizard is quick to greet you which prompts Asmodeus to leave the both of you. "You look amazing as always, MC. I wish the makeup is real..."

You only offer him a small smile, your croaky voice uttering out, "I'll be fine. Let's enjoy this final night."

Solomon's eyes are filled with sadness and despair but for you, he's willing to be happy for you. Music fills the room and your lover extends a hand for you to grab and you did. His other hand gently wraps around your torso as you hold onto his shoulder, the both of you start to dance despite your weak body but he did slow down his movements so that you could keep up with him. Unlike last time around, only the demons, angels and humans alike are present in the room, the other two species watching as the both of you sway with the melody. In that very moment, so many thoughts had pop up in his head.

How he wished that he was more powerful. How he wished that there was a cure for your illness. How he wished that Simeon had the power to help you. How he wished that you can remain in his arms forever. How he wished that this moment will last forever.

How he also wished that he had never met you.

Yet here he is, dancing with his partner, desperately trying not to tear up for their sake. When the music stopped and the way you fall into his arms, he knew that you only had moments left to live so he hugs you once again, placing his lips on your forehead. His soft lips linger on your skin for a few moments before looking at you. "What else do you want to do?"

"Play... Play something on- on the harp for me, S-Solomon." You requested, your exhausted eyes starting to droop.

He nods his head. "Whatever you want, my love."

The wizard slowly guides you towards the instruments provided in the room, taking a seat on the small bench with you sitting beside him. Everyone else only watches both of your movements, not making a ruckus like how they'd usually do.

"Solomon..." You breathe out, placing your head on his shoulder as you make yourself comfortable next to him. "Play... Play that song."

Your voice becomes quieter the more you speak. Solomon closes his eyes and takes a breather. He wanted to cry, he wanted to hug you, he wanted to see your face one last time before you permanently close your eyes but he holds himself back. His shaky hands make their way towards the strings and his fingers start plucking the strings, a beautiful melody you had always loved plays.

Though, not even a minute through, you started coughing which made your lover stop and check up on you. Luckily, it wasn’t as severe so you said, "Continue no matter what. I want to hear you play one last time."

His lips quiver but he fulfills your request nonetheless. His fingers never stop plucking the strings even if you had to cough. Midway through, you close your eyes, your breathing starting to become slower. Everyone else in the room senses that your life force is fading rather quickly but doesn't utter a word about it.

Solomon notices the sudden weight on his shoulder but doesn't stop. Though, this time, he doesn't deny his tears and lets them flow down his face. When he finally finishes playing your favourite melody, he immediately wraps his arms around your limp body. He places his head on your shoulder and his tears soak your clothes.

Mammon, Leviathan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub and Luke are also crying, knowing that you're now gone. Lord Diavolo, Barbatos, Lucifer, Satan, Belphegor and Simeon only watches from afar, everyone's hearts crushed when you're finally out from your misery but hurts further when they hear the loud, sad and ugly cries from Solomon as he grips onto your body tighter, desperately trying to get you to wake up when you won't.

-END-

I hope you enjoyed this small story. My favourite headcannon of Solomon is that he plays the harp and I had to include that here. Anyway, here’s the song he played.

I was just bored and yah I did this

Also link here if ya wanna try!

TierMaker

Create a Obey me Tier List

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I'm also curious as to why each om! boy is rated as such so to anyone doing this, I'd love to see your reasons! Tag me while you're at it too (if ya wanna)!

Here's mine if ya wanna read

I'm a HUGE simp for Barbatos and Solomon

I'd imagine that Simeon is obvious, but also because he's a writer like I am! Would love to exchange story ideas with him

Lucifer... Well, he is my type. Fancy and rich lol but he's very prideful so honestly, I much rather keep him as a friend to avoid couple fighting🙄but would still date him

Satan, also my type. Bookworm. But I see him as a sibling at most or a bestie

Diavolo... I really have no chance with him. Would love him as a bestie tho!

Mammon is too overbearing to me. I don't mind him. It's just that he gets annoying sometimes but I love him still

I used to simp for Beel until my feelings grew platonic and now I just wanna pat him and feed him. I see him as a sibling!

I only see Asmo as a bestie sorry

Honestly? Fuck Belphie and Levi. Belphie fucking killed me, used me, and definitely saw me as Lilith for a period of times. But... I suppose he can be tolerable

Levi tho? I'm sorry to all the Levi stans but HOLY SHIT this guy infuriates me TOO MUCH. I won't go into detail but fucking hell

WHOEVER SEXUALIZE OR LOVES LUKE ROMANTICALLY, PLEASE BLOCK ME. GO AWAY. I DON'T NEED CREEPS

We don’t appreciate the fact that Bruce Wayne is a Kardasian level celebrity enough. Everyone knows him. I want more one shots and crack fic moments where the League (Pre identity reveals) just openly talk about Bruce Wayne in front of Batman.

Just imagine them playing fuck, marry, kill with famous actors and such and throwing Bruce into the mix. And Batman just sits there, silently suffering as he listens to the reasons why Flash and Lantern would marry, fuck, or kill him. He prays they choose kill. They don’t.

Has Sephiroth ever tried catnip?

SOLDIER Vlogging Shenanigans pt. 34

[The video starts. It's Genesis, looking unkempt with wide, blood-shot eyes and messy hair. He's leaning over a kitchen countertop looking exhausted]

"I'm going to be arrested."

[There's a deep, verbalized meow in the background. Genesis briefly looks at something beyond the camera, then rubs his face]

"So...I thought it'd be funny to play into all the Sephiroth is a cat nonsense and—"

"Meow"

[Genesis stops again, looks long and hard at something behind the camera, then sighs a trembling breath. There's panic in his eyes]

"And I put catnip in Sephiroth's humidifier."

[Genesis pans the camera around slowly, the video filming all of Sephiroth's kitchen before finally landing on something on the floor]

"Oh goddess I'm going to JAIL."

[It's Sephiroth as high as a kite. He's sprawled out on the floor in a starfish position. There's a uncharacteristic, dopey grin on his face. He looks drugged out of his mind]

"Meow," he says in a deep voice.

"He's been like this for three hours now," Genesis says from behind the camera. "Do you all understand why I'm freaking out now? It's like a broke a government weapon—"

"Meow."

[Genesis turnes the camera back around, filming himself as he nervously runs a hand through his hair]

"I need to take him down to the infirmary—"

"Meow"

[Genesis looks stressed]

"I'd call Angeal but I don't want to be arrested and killed—"

"Meow."

[Genesis snaps his head up, frowning the incapacitated SOLDIER on the floor]

"Sephiroth, my friend, either stop interrupting me or pick something other than meow to say!"

[Sephiroth doesn't reply, and the following moments are silent. Genesis nods in approval, then redirects his attention back to the camera]

"Anyway, as I was saying—"

"Fuck you."

"WHAT THE F—"

[Genesis quickly ends the video]