Boys Reaction When Someone Flirts At Them 🫢

Sebastian: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case?

Ominis: What?!

Sebastian: I want to be on BuzzFeed unsolved-

Ominis: Can we go back to the part when you said "When I get murdered-"

Okay okay yes I know, Buzzfeed in anyway did not exist at this time- but I wanted to play around with Audio blending to see how well I was able to do it, and had to use some of our favorite boys to do it-

Is that the Inquisitor?

Hades: “I was talking about YOU! Not him! YOU’RE THE FOOL!

More Camping chaos💚

"Loud snoring"

Ominis: *pops his head out of his tent after being woken up* WHO THE HELL IS THAT?! WHOS SNORING?! ITS DRIVING ME INSANE! *frowns*

Leander: *pops his head out of his tent* Shut up Ominis! I was JUST drifting off, till I heard you fucking screaming!

Sebastian: To hell with you Prewett! Have you heard the snoring?! Who is it?! And Where's Sebastian?! He was in here with me before!

Natty and poppy: *leaning out of their tent to see the commotion*

Imelda: *popping her head out* Can you guys be quiet!!? Though I do agree, this snoring is ridiculous!

Amit: *popping his head out of a tent half asleep* What's happening out here?

Everett: *popping out of the same tent as Amit* You guys know I'm not one to get angry, but I SWEAR to merlin if I don't get a good night sleep, I'm going to be FOUL to everyone tomorrow, and I dont want that! *frowns*

Ominis: Sebastian?! SEBASTIAN?!

Leander: Oi! Garreth?!

Garreth: *leaning out of another tent with a moody look* This better be DAMN good, What?!

Leander: I was just seeing if you were the one snoring, seems like you aren't.

Ominis: Sebastian?!

Sebastian: *popping his head out of MC's tent* What's with all the fucking shouting?!

Leander: PFFFT! should of KNOWN you'd of weasled your way into MC's tent Sallow! You fucking DOG!

Garreth: *laughs*

Sebastian: Prewett I'd come over there and knock you out..But I'm kinda naked right now and it's chilly out here *frowns*

Natty: MC?

MC: *pops her head out next to Sebastians* Hey *smiles*

Poppy: OK, so we're all here, awake..And the snoring is still happening...

The gang: .....

Garreths: *steps out of his tent and looks over to the tree line, seeing a huge shadow of a troll stood there looking at the camp, breathing heavily* FUUUUUUCK ITS A FUCKING TROLL! FUCK FUCK FUCK! *scrambles trying to find his wand*

Ominis: (?!?!?!?!?!) WHAT?!

Imelda, Natty & Poppy: *grabbing their wands*

Leander: *grabbing his wand* SALLOW! GET OUT HERE!!!!

Sebastian: *stumbling out of MC's tent pulling up his underwear that he's just thrown on in a panic, and grabbing his wand* Fighting a fucking troll in my undies at 3 am isn't how I wanted to spend my night!!

Ominis: *panicked* MC?!

MC: Ominis! Come over here to my tent!

Sebastian: Oi! No funny business until I get back!

Ominis: *crawling his way over to MC's tent, shouting over the chaos* OH sure Sebastian!! *frowns* I couldn't think of a more perfect time to FUCK MC while everyone's fighting a DAMN TROLL!!!!

~

This is my large headcanon about Clan Lavellan in my DA ‘verse that I was finally able to more or less get out of my head. I’m surprisingly proud of this although it took me awhile to write. 

I would like to thank @vir-ghilani for reading over it first and offering suggestions.

If I could, I’d make pretty banners for each section but I don’t have that talent so the above is the best I could do so, sorry it’s not more polished looking.

Feel free to ask questions!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

                                          Clan Lavellan Master Post

Index:

1.     Codex

2.     History

3.     Region

4.     Diet

5.     Religious Practices

6.     Hanal’dirthara

7.     Seers and Oracles

8.     Magic

9.     Material Culture

10.   Folklore

11.  Relationships

                                       Codex Entry: Clan Lavellan

Clan Lavellan is one of the few Clans of the Dalish who thrive in the dangerous and dark swamp forest of the Korcari Wilds. They have lived in the wilds since the Towers Age, being one of the last great houses to leave during the Chantry’s Exalted March of Halamshiral.

House Lavellan had been dedicated to discovering the lost magics of Arlathan and many of their members were gifted with Dreaming abilities, specifically Seers and Oracles. It is perhaps unsurprising then that they ended up settling in the Wilds, living alongside the Chasind folk who’s hedge witch matriarchs have similar gifts.

Indeed, Clan Lavellan even learned the ways of Shapeshifting from these Witch of the Wilds and have had a unique peaceful alliance that is rarely seen with elves and humans.

The Veil being as thin as it is in the Wilds is likely the reason the Clan produces so many mages and with less of a fear from the Chantry’s Templars they are able to remain in the Clan, only being sent to other Clans who are in dire need.

These mage members who are not to become Keeper apprentices are still taught the writings and if not dedicated to another apprenticeship will form special groups with some hunters known as Hanal’dirthara who specifically search for lost lore and bring it back to the Clan to study. Mages in the Clan who are born with any Seer abilities are typically apprenticed to the Keeper as it is a rare gift, often skipping generations and never in strong numbers.

Between the desire for knowledge and the intricacies of the fog covered swamp that they live in, it is said that “A Lavellan always finds the path”.

-        Excerpt taken from a First’s lesson learning of various Clans

Keep reading

Thank you for your work - as a fellow writer I can't even imagine writing as much as you. My deepest respect.

Something has clicked in me after I read the RoR pregnancy request... May I ask the same for Poseidon and Hades please?

Thank you in advance.

Take care.

-The furious roar of not only Odin, but Zeus rang through Valhalla, as Loki was being held down by Brunnhilde, who was also furious, her knee in the center of his back, keeping him pinned to the floor.

-It started with a harmless prank, one that wasn’t meant to cause so many problems.

-Loki and some of the other male gods and human warriors of the Ragnarok tournament, and the topic, for some reason, was pregnancy!

-The men were all talking about how their wives, those who had wives, that pregnancy couldn’t be that bad, but Loki was quick to interrupt, telling them that it was hard.

-That’s when many remembered that Loki is able to take on both a male form and a female form, and he had a child, Sleipnir, an eight-legged horse, after luring The Builder’s horse away to keep him from completing the walls of Asgard, by changing into a mare.

-Some, like Ares and Raiden, had teased Loki, reiterating their comments that being pregnant and giving birth couldn’t be that bad.

-So, Loki conjured a spell, one that would only simulate the feeling of being pregnant and giving birth, to teach them a lesson, however this backfired and now Poseidon and Hades were both pregnant, becoming almost instantly six months pregnant.

-When Odin and Zeus found out, their rage was nearly uncontrollable as they yelled at Loki for what he had caused and what future trouble this was going to cause, as the men still had male genitalia, meaning they would have to give birth via C-section!

-For punishment, Loki had to dote on the four men, helping them through the last trimester as well as help with the babies, as technically he was going to be the father, since it was his spell that impregnated them.

Poseidon

-It had been two months since he was impregnated, and Loki was still hiding, as Poseidon swore to gut Loki, and the trickster knew he was serious.

-Zeus had been the first to feel Poseidon’s pregnant wrath, after his younger brother teased him and quickly found himself yeeted out a window.

-Hades was a bit more sympathetic, getting him a heating pad for his back and a foot bath for his swollen feet.

-Poseidon was ready to murder anyone who looked at him wrong, defiantly the moodiest of the bunch, but angry rather than crying.

-When Loki finally came, after Hades assured him Poseidon wouldn’t do anything at the moment, Poseidon did nothing but glare at him before demanding another fruit parfait and a bubble bath.

-Loki was quick to get him whatever he wanted, quickly finding out that a placated Poseidon was a less murder-y Poseidon.

-When he gave birth, holding his little daughter, he gave a rare, true smile, adoring his little daughter with so much love.

-Loki was still there to wait on him hand and foot, as he was the cause of this, but Loki soon found out that Poseidon liked ordering him around, and Loki liked it too, being a masochist.

Hades

-He was stunned to stay the least, but carried on with his duties like nothing was really different, except he wouldn’t hesitate to beat anyone within an inch of their lives if they mentioned his new ‘situation’.

-Had a pretty mild pregnancy, no real cravings other than the occasional super spicy dish, and with bubble baths he didn’t have many aches or pains, and his mood remained mostly unchanged, other than he was way more tired.

-Loki helped him with his duties, carrying and delivering paperwork, fetching him food and drink, and as Hades got bigger, helping him stand.

-Many were quick to learn, Zeus and Loki being the first, that Cerberus became very protective of Hades, knowing his master was pregnant, each of the heads taking turns to smell his belly, smelling the child within him, and he would growl viciously if anyone would try to approach.

-This made getting anything done quite difficult as none could get close to Hades.

-When he gave birth, he had the easiest, time, making it look easy, and when Loki came in, he was stunned to see Hades holding his daughter up to the sky, a beacon of light shining down upon her, “She’s gorgeous!”

-Loki got to help more with his little daughter, who was adorable, looking just like her papa, but when she smiled it looked almost mischievous, even for a baby, just like Loki.

They’re so cute wtf

Obey Me As Tumblr #4

Satan: So I MEANT to say “oh crap, I left my phone in my car” but what I ALMOST said was “oh no, I left my cone in my phar,” and damn wouldn’t that have been embarrassing, but I caught myself, and what I ACTUALLY said was

“Ah, my fart cone.”

So anyway

•

Simeon: Today these two boys in my math class were hitting each other with pencils and my teacher said “could you try to be a little more mature?”

One of them screamed “TAXES” and punched the other kid in the face

•

Leviathan: Sex is so weird it’s literally just putting your penis inside someone else’s penis. Like what the fuck

Asmodeus: I don’t think that’s how it works

Leviathan: Yes it is. I’ve had so much sex. A lot. Like 100 sex.

•

Mammon: What did one cell say to his sister cell that stepped on his toe

Mammon: Mitosis

Leviathan: I want to die

•

Mammon: How long does someone have to be dead before it’s considered archeology instead of grave robbing

Solomon: An an archeologist I find this a veRY AWKWARD QUESTION

Mammon: Answer the question grave robber

•

Satan: Ah yes, the Trojan horse. Or as I like to call it murderous piñata

•

Asmodeus: Years ago I watched this porn and the girl was screaming ‘oh god, oh god!!!’ And this dude was like ‘there are no gods here’ and to this day it haunts me wtf was he talking about

•

Mammon: At my funeral there is going to be a closed casket and then it will be opened to reveal I am not inside. Instead they will turn on the ceiling fan and my lifeless body will swing around the room while the space jam theme song is playing in the back ground

Mammon: Never mind my brother says I can’t do that

•

MC: I just had the best encounter with a child at Kmart. I was in the aisle shopping and this boy and his dad come around the corner. The little blonde boy sees me and excitedly exclaims “there’s a human here!!” To which his father replied, “Yes, there’s humans everywhere.”

Mammon: Bro you do realize you just met aliens

Solomon: Not unusual for Kmart

•

Mammon: I was looking at grapes in the store and this old lady comes up to me and goes “you’re not stealing those are you?” So I’m like no lol? and she goes “oh, well I am.” And grabbed a handful of grapes and left

Leviathan: GKSKVKSM

•

Diavolo: “What time is it?” You ask, I pull out my 2.7 metric ton granite sundial and immediately crush both of your feet, I loudly announce “it is cloudy.”

•

Solomon: This is the dumbest thing to nitpick, but the phrase “real UFO” bothers me any UFO is a real UFO as long as it’s unidentified and flying because that’s what those words mean whether or not it’s an alien is a different matter. It could be a pancake someone threw real hard as long as you don’t know that’s what it is it’s a UFO

Satan: I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Anything is a UFO if you’re bad enough at identified stuff

•

MC: People with uteri are never gonna have a perfectly flat stomach. They’re always gonna have a little pouch, because that’s where we keep our bees.

Thirteen: Once a month the moon angers the bees.

•

Lucifer: Gave my students a pop quiz today and learned something new: if you make all the answers C, you will see 35 of the most hilariously panicked and confused faces in the world.

Raphael: Are you Satan?

•

Leviathan: Was it really necessary for me to be born?

Simeon: Possibly not, but double chocolate chip cookies aren’t necessarily either but I wouldn’t want to live in a world without them

Leviathan: That is the most uplifting thing I’ve read all day

•

Belphegor: What if your phobias are based off how you died in a past life

Mammon: Why is this not getting around faster

Beelzebub: DUDE

•

Leviathan: It’s 2021 why can’t I delete friends in real life?

Leviathan: Ok so it turns out what I was thinking of it called murder

•

Satan: Next time a conspiracy theorist tries to tell you ‘what really happened’, present a more outlandish theory and accuse them of covering up the truth

Conspiracy theorist: “The moon landing was faked!”

Me: “Pfft, you believe in the moon?”

•

MC: Boys are so lucky they get boners to tell them that they’re horny because girls are just like am I horny or am I hungry or am I bored I don’t know I don’t have a dick

Mammon: That’s definitely an interesting take. But sometimes we get boners for no reason and it’s something like “What is it boy? Did you see something?”

•

Solomon: I just attended the best Passion of the Christ play. As they were “nailing” Jesus to the cross the entire thing broke. No one knew what to do and it got quiet. Finally one of the guards on stage said “you get out of it this time Jesus”

Mammon: Omfg

Leviathan: I CAN’T STOP FUCKING LAUGHING NOBODY LOOK AT ME

Satan: #IT’S BACK

Human Reader

*the witchers sitting around the desk*

Geralt: no you don't understand. Jaskier sometimes can be so reckless I'm wondering how is he still alive?

Eskel: oh god I can feel this.

Geralt: hmm... No offense, but Y/n looks more calm than the bard.

Eskel: once when I was on a hunt, Y/n stayed at the camp. We were traveling together like... A month I guess? They didn't know much about witcher stuff. When I get back from the hunt I found them looking straight at the fire. And when I asked them what's going on, they told me, that they drinked all of my potions because "they were all shiny and pretty". I had never been so worried and nervous in my whole life.

Geralt: you won. *under his breath* thanks god for Jaskier.

2015 - Here are some gifs of Donald Trump being attacked by a bald eagle named Uncle Sam, literally the least patriotic thing that can happen to an American. [video]