I want to share something someone told me when I first started out as a dom because it was kind of a lightbulb moment for me as an emotional sadist. At the time I was doing aftercare but I didn't understand what psychologically recovering from a scene really meant. Then someone put it into dom terms and it just sort of clicked. So I thought I'd share in case anyone else needs to hear it.
As a degrader and a sadist it's so hot that some subs will be as pathetic as you want them to be... so don't fuck around with their emotions outside of that, that sub is already literally playing with and altering their emotions for your benefit and pleasure. You're overstressing the emotion muscle if you do and rest is essential to any healthy exercise.
You're not giving their feelings any time to rest and recover if you cause emotional distress outside of playtime and you're not giving them the safety and security to play with their emotions again. If you consistently play with humiliation, degradation, or other forms of psychological sadism, you need to be aware of this and plan accordingly.
Avoid big talks or heavy topics immediately after, and do things that will lift your partner's mood in the days following an intense scene even if their mood doesn't need a lift. While you can't see it, by doing that, you've essentially put an emotional ice pack on a sore muscle.
For physical injuries lift the area affected so it can circulate and heal better. For emotional ones it's the same process, lift their mood so positive feelings can circulate and help the recovery along.
Nautilus expedition live streams (+ their commentary) | 2024
My favorite part about Touhou is that you'll go 'oh hahaha funny bunny girl in Touhou 8' and then you'll read the wiki page and it's like 'Reisen is a disgraced war veteran who deserted her comrades in the Lunar Defense Corps sometime during the Lunar-Apollo War of 1969'
And this is who their talking about
Don't fuck around with hardcore kink if you won't take it seriously.
yuhh
I’m okay
I love you
Thank you
It’s alright
I’m not hurt
I’m not hurt too badly
You’re lovely/wonderful/kind
I enjoyed it
It was worth it
Take your time
Do you need anything?
Do you want a cuddle?
Do you want me to get dressed/take the collar off/put the crop away?
Do you want to talk about it?
I’m here
You’re not a bad person
Top drop/dom drop usually comes from shock, guilt or insecurity about the way you have just treated someone whose well-being you care about very much. Like sub drop, it is usually accompanied by a fall in endorphins and general energy levels. Especially for aces (who I find have a greater need to be in the right mindset/’zone’ for play and intimacy), a ‘snap’ moment where you break out of play mode can throw you emotionally, and the end of play causes a similar reassessment or double-take at what happened during the scene.
Dominants in drop require the same kind of care as subs, but a different kind of reassurance.
"I don't fucking believe you." I laughed in response. I mean, how could I not? I've been perfectly fine as an independent for years. I've made plenty of friends (independents, affini, AND florets), but my favorite friend was definitely Her.
Jaz was an oldbloom of some kind. She refused to tell me the actual number, and I wasn't going to press it. But you bet your ass I was going to outright deny it when she says some Bloomer-ass bullshit like, "Humans are made to be pets, Petal~"
She tilted her head, as if surprised. "Did no one tell you, dear?" I frowned.
"What do you mean exactly?"
Jaz hid a chuckle behind some vines. "Flower, I've been around for a while. I've seen thousands of species. Some of them were almost extinct by the time we found them, and some were far more technologically advanced than the Accord ever was. But out of all of them -all of them, darling- I have yet to find a sophont who wouldn't make a perfect silly pet. Why do you think terrans would be any different?"
I sputtered. "No! No, that's ridiculous. Beeple I can understand, to some extent. They evolved alongside you, and your reproduction at least used to co-exist. You both needed each other. Humans are different."
"Oh, in some ways perhaps! Its true that we were able to work with beeple, but there are a few things that, in order for humans to have gotten where they were, were required to happen." She held up three fingers.
"One. Humanity are social creatures. I'm quite sure I don't need to argue this point. Its been an observation many have noticed. But it still matters that, despite your culture's best attempts to sequester everyone into individual homes and away from communities…you all crave that interaction, that exchange. You Look for it." One finger went down.
"Two. Humanity are intelligent creatures. They learned so much, and fought for their place on the top of the food chain. It was truly incredible to learn your histories! Being able to learn from another's mistakes? An important skill to have, and one that allows for rapid growth of a civilization. And also allows for you to be manipulated, controlled, really; a rock cannot hear my arguments, after all. You Listen all too well. " Two fingers were closed, now. Her thumb remained.
"Three. Humanity are hierarchical creatures. Ever since that whole 'survival of the fittest', terrans seem intent on having everything ranked, everything in relation to the things better or worse than it. It's what worked on Terra, and I don't judge you all for using the tools given to you! But it means, at the end of the day…that culturally speaking? Humanity was going to see itself as either above the Compact, or below it, part of it, inside it." She smiled. "And I think it would be fair to say that the Accord winning was not a valid concern. So when something bigger and stronger comes along? You learn to Accept it."
I was frozen. I didn't…I couldn't…I couldn't think. I was a bubbling mixture of terrified and in awe, looking up at her. My knees wobbled as she gently cupped my cheek, sliding her hand down to my chin.
"Sweet thing~ Its alright. I know that this is a lot to learn, that it sounds scary to you. Perhaps you felt yourself on equal terms to an affini. And in many ways, you are right~ I will always treat you with love and respect, just as I would treat any sophont, any floret. But at the end of the day, my dear…" Her eyes drew me in. There were so many of them, all looking at me. Pinning me underneath their careful stare, somehow both alien and familiar, gentle yet controlling, above me and beside me. Watching as I looked, as I listened, as I accepted.
"An affini's task is to care for pets, and your task is to be cared for~"
i actually think it's criminal that i have not yet seen a single opossum post in this "with mama" trend. they carry their babies on their backs!
let's explore with mama
My oil painting of an Uncrustable
so much care put into housing this aging spider. why are my eyes wet
(tiktok link)