Me: I'll Get The Contract Ready...

Me: FAE?! WHAT THE F-

Human: I don't get this whole "Earth is a death world" thing. Like, obviously it wouldn't seem like one to us, but why is it one to you guys? Are your home planets *that* much more free of disease and predators and stuff?

Alien: Oh, yes. Earth is far more hostile than our home worlds.

Human: Huh. Wonder why.

Alien: I suspect it's due to Earth's high iron content blocking the fae from disposing of such minor threats.

Human: Yeah, I guess that

Human:

Human: what

Tiny fairy in alien's translator headpiece: Shut up, they think we're mythical, it's *hilarious*.

Alien: I mean... Sure is a mystery, huh?

Me: Why am I here? Demon: BECAUSE YOU CAUSED THIS!!! Me: I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO FUCKING CURSE ME fey's lawyer: She's got a point fey: Please just be quiet.....

the demon that cursed you with infertility and the fey that you promised your firstborn are having a legal battle.

That moment was a moment of stupidity actually

homoeroticism

Me: BITCH YOU ARE DEAD! Them: NOT YET HOE! SUCK IT!

Your friend always said “I’ll rest when I’m dead,” so much that it became his catchphrase. He says it again today when he came into work, going about his daily routine. This normally wouldn’t be concerning, if not for the fact that you attended his funeral two weeks ago.

Okay, when creating OCs, I just picture myself in their world, weather it's an OC for main media thing, or just a silly little OC, I just base it off myself first. Then I change things about that OC and make it's lore. That way they probably can have some of your flaws to make them feel a bit more fleshed out. Or just bounce ideas off of a friend

Yall ever just?

Wow... just... wow....

wow can’t believe jupiter is actually trans <3

I need to adopt these three ASAP! AND YES DUSUU WILL BE ADOPTED AS MY LEGAL CHILD AS WELL!!!!

Metaphor

@ask-the-face-man

HAHAHA HOW WOULD LEO REACT TO SEEING A FIGURINE OF DONNIE LIKE THIS 💀

Please, he would pass out from oxygen deprivation-

Me: Is it wearing my heels Demon: *nods* Me: FOR FUCKS SAKE! I JUST BOUGHT THOSE!

You wake up to find your sleep paralysis demon holding you tight in fear, tears in eyes. “There’s a monster in the closet”, it says.

WHY?????? I LOVE SEEING WHO MADE IT!

I just reada really good fic but halfway through I realized "oh shit this is really familiar.... didn't I write something like this once?" And as I kept reading I kept predicting what happened next and the further I went the more convinced I was that they'd ripped off my story-

like, copied the ENTIRE plot and re-written it, just better than I had? The characters were more fleshed-out than mine were, and the POV was more interesting, and the pace made more sense- but it was MY STORY?

So close to the end I was like "holy shit.. do I message them? Ask if my story inspired theirs? Should I be angry? Flattered?" Cause their tags and description didn't mention me AT ALL, which, sure, it's fanfiction to begin with, but if you're using my work than at least credit me as inspo, right? Just to be courteous?

But I get to the end of the final chapter, and it's not finished, and I'm kind of disappointed cause I never finished my story and I was really immersed in their version now and had been looking forwards to seeing how they tied up my loose ends- so I scroll to the bottom to leave a comment, and.

It's MY URL.

IT WAS MY STORY THE WHOLE TIME.

THE ONE *I WROTE*.

In *2013*.

And FORGOT ABOUT

BECAUSE I WAS SO INSECURE ABOUT MY SLOPPY, SHALLOW, AMETEUR WRITING

And I'm just sitting here now staring into space thinking about every shitty story I've ever written now like

IT WAS ALL GOOD?

IT WAS GOOD THIS WHOLE DAMN TIME??

I'M A GOOD WRITER?????