It's 2 Am And I Am Being Plagued With Thoughts Of Girl Dad Wolverine. I Watched Several Of The X-men

It's 2 am and I am being plagued with thoughts of girl dad Wolverine. I watched several of the X-men movies recently and the amount of teens that he's forced to interact with despite not being a legitimate professor??? wild. This smelly, alcoholic, wanderer just seems to have a talent for collecting teen girls? They like legitimately trust him for some reason. And I kinda get it don't get me wrong. I adore the way he treats the young ladies in the movies and animated shows, it's just the loyalty that they return that's kinda captivating.

Like. I cannot stop thinking of Logan being assigned as the back up chaperone for the girls. Especially for missions. Of course if they take teen girls out on a mission they try to bring a lady professor along too. Usually storm, She is really pulling some den mother hours across the franchises. But in the absence of her or Jean, I think Logan must naturally be the back up option for the girls. And not just by their own election either. Although it's incredibly funny to picture them all collectively discussing who they want to be in charge of them and telling Scott (who i love, but also love to fuck with) That they all voted and the male teacher they trust the most is fucking Logan of all people. The insult???

But also Charles would think it's a great idea, not only because it gives Logan a responsibility that'll keep him in place and on task, but also because Wolverine canonically can smell people up to half a mile away and has super enhanced hearing.

Like the grubby asshole is probably gonna pass out in the living room of whatever safe house with a beer in his hand, but he'll also be strategically placed between all entrances and the boys half of the house, and the girls. You cannot get past him. He's a sleeping guard dog.

Imagine with me for a moment, a room full of teenage boys their girlfriends just ten feet away, away from the school and the psychics for once, with distracted guardians off planning or passed out. All collectively hovering in the doorway of their temporary room, knowing that if they take two steps into the living room that bottle is flying at their heads. Just trapped in there.

One girl tries to sneak past him early in the night and without opening an eye he just says, "Don't even think about it."

Just Logan in his most natural guard dog state.

The frustration vs the reassurance of the teens. Absolutely no one is getting within three thousand feet of them without him knowing. And that means they can't get away with shit.