Duhess Satine In Battle Armour

Day 1: A LITTLE OUT OF THE ORDINARY

Adverse Effects | Unconventional Restraints | “This wasn’t supposed to happen”

The last thing Luke Skywalker could remember was the feeling of intense lightning thrashing around his insides, mixed with the smell of smoke and the crackle of thunder and his own shot vocal chords, as he looked through blurred tears at his father. He was surely dead now.. this was his end. Everything went to a frightening darkness before it all turned to grey nothingness.

“The boy has awakened,” echoed a sinister voice that Luke knew all too well.

It was hard to see through the murky fluid in front of him, even more difficult was the glass beyond. This was a dark room where only two other individuals remained: one was a simple medical droid blindly answering and dutifully following orders. The other figure frightened Luke.. he could only hope that it wasn’t him.

Where was his father? 

Why was he still alive?

After fluttering his lashes, blinking through the liquid, Luke soon realized he was inside a bacta tank. His arms were restrained by cuffs, lifted up above his head, as his legs uselessly dangled below. “Father,” Luke reached out with the Force. Perhaps there was still a chance; perhaps he could still save him. “Father, please.”

But there was nothing but silence in response. The boy pleaded with the Force, urging for his call to reach him. It was a disturbing silence, as if an absence of being. What happened to Lord Vader? Where was Anakin Skywalker? Where was his father? Something was not right and Luke couldn’t help but feel terribly alone as the wrinkled man garbed in black crept his way forward. 

“You thought I was really going to kill you,” Palpatine rasped as he gestured to the droid. The bacta immediately began to drain and the glass soon followed with it, humming as it slid through the ground, exposing Luke to the great evil before him. “You have anger in your eyes.. fear, too. Yes, this was the right decision after all.”

“What did you do with him?” 

Luke shivered as the remnants of bacta clung to his bare skin. His eyes wildly looked around as he took in the area around him - his cybernetic hand was removed, rendering at least one arm useless. He looked around for his lightsaber, hoping to call on it for protection. The Emperor was right; anger and fear coursed through Luke’s veins and he was fighting every single temptation. 

“Lord Vader has been disposed of,” Palpatine said with little regard. “You see, he tried to save you but he was too late. He waited too long. If only he had acted a second sooner.. you might be with your loving father. But now you are here. With me.”

Luke’s eyes filled with venom as his left hand clenched into a fist - he tried to summon his lightsaber, a weapon, a panel, a piece of the wall, anything to fight back. 

“You want your lightsaber.. I can see it in your eyes. Don’t forget, boy, that you threw it aside in defiance of me. But I have it here,” Palpatine said as he opened his robe and peeled out the lightsaber from within, inspecting it as he dangled it in front of Luke. “Your father wasn’t strong enough to do what needed to be done. He was a useful aide but his time wasn’t long. Within you, there is great potential and power. You want your lightsaber, don’t you? You want to avenge all that you have lost.”

“I hate you,” were the thoughts inside Luke’s head. But he didn’t dare speak them.

“You hate me? Don’t think too highly of your own abilities, Jedi. I can read every thought. But all that can be fixed by pressing this button, activating your weapon, and ridding the galaxy of me,” the Emperor said as he placed the lightsaber inside Luke’s restrained arm. “You want it so badly - your father was all you had to rely on. At one time, he would have been the perfect successor of the Sith. But he was tainted. Ruined. Avenge his death and kill me. You will become one with all the Sith.. with me.. and I you. Every dark act committed across the galaxy will be inherited. End it.”

The binding on his left arm came loose and Luke swallowed as he looked at the weapon in his grasp. This was wrong - oh, how he wanted to do it. The galaxy would be free without the Emperor and his friends would be saved. All it would cost was his soul. But it was personal at this point; all he could think of was his father, who tried to save him and failed. Would it be wrong to not honor his sacrifice? 

And what of his sister?

“The rebel alliance is no more,” Palpatine said coolly as he watched Luke’s heart sink in front of him. “All of them. Your friends.. as well as your sister.”

The lightsaber seemingly activated without Luke having the chance to think - all he could do was feel. The green light plunged into the Emperor, who ended his earthly presence with an unforgettable cackle, as Luke looked on in horror and rage. “You.. are mine,” Palpatine rasped with his final breath. He fell to the floor as Luke looked down in panic, heaving as a swirling torrent of black and red energy exit from the Sith Lord and wrap around him. It was painful, overwhelming, even intoxicating. 

Luke collapsed to the floor next to Palpatine, the weight of this dark energy so powerful that it tore his remaining cuff from the wall. His lightsaber remained on. His eyes widened as he saw the comforting green core slowly bleed into a terrible red. He furiously attempted to turn off the blade - to stop the bleeding. But the weapon refused to answer, acting upon an evil call that it could no longer resist. 

Once it finally completed the shift, Luke nervously stood. His lips trembled as he held the lightsaber away from his form, instinctively walking toward a window overlooking the vastness of space. He brought the lightsaber closer to his face and gasped as he saw the reflection stare back at him. The innocent and wide blue eyes he had come to know and take comfort in were no longer present; there were golden eyes staring back, looking on in malice and uncontrollable rage.  

What had he done?

The Tall Luke Conspiracy

The worst mistake of Vader’s entire career was letting the galaxy think his son was tall. 

The boy was short. He always had been, from his childhood until he’d run away from home. He’d inherited his mother’s stature, among some of her other more stubborn qualities. Vader had always liked the height difference. Sometimes he pretended his son was younger than he was, much to Luke’s dismay. 

But all of that changed because of the paparazzi when Luke was sixteen. 

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I’m gonna just throw this out before it happens:

Even if Sabine somehow “unlocks” the force through hard work, the Jedi were STILL RIGHT to only recruit force sensitive children.

There has only been one episode of Sabine learning to be a jedi so far. Look at how terrible of a time she’s having. She’s making zero progress, and we know she spent a long time with Ahsoka before quitting because she was making no process.

Why is she putting herself through all this grief with no reward? No idea. That’s another post.

But the point is Ahsoka isn’t even teaching Sabine what younglings were usually taught. She’s not trying to get Sabine to deflect blaster shots (bc she’d never be able to) and she’s not trying to teach Sabine how to move things with her mind (bc she’d never be able to). It’s just lightsaber lessons. Something Kanan taught Sabine already just as a Mandalorian wielding the dark saber. Sabine would be doing so much worse if she was in a normal youngling group.

Sabine has only gotten this far because she is a natural warrior. And she still already quit once. Ahsoka’s really not helping at all. She’s just telling Sabine to “feel it”

And sure! The other jedi masters did that. But they did that knowing that their students actually had a natural ability to feel the force!! Their students knew what they were trying to feel.

For someone who went through the public school system with dyslexia I honestly felt so frustrated and bad for Sabine last episode. Ahsoka and Huyang are telling her to do things she just has no ability to do. At least Huyang is being honest with her about why.

There is nothing more frustrating when you’re struggling and someone tells you to just. Do it better. Huyang and Ahsoka are not giving her any real instruction. Bc there is no instruction. There is no shortcut like there was with reading.

But unlike me and reading, Sabine does not have to be a jedi. She does not have to learn how to use the force. So why is Ahsoka putting her through this? Why is she putting herself through this?

Imagine if the Jedi order did that with little kids? Kids who may not have the option to quit like Sabine did? That would so so terrible for them. It’s already terrible for Sabine. How long did Sabine try the first time around? How terrible did it get, not making any improvement for so long, before she quit the first time? She doesn’t have to be a jedi. If you’re not force sensitive there’s no reason to force it. (Hehe, get it? Force it?)

If Ahsoka wanted a padawan she should have found someone force sensitive and trained them. Honestly this whole thing feels like a cruel joke on Sabine: someone who works hard and is naturally talented at many other things.

AU where Xanatos is "redeemed by the power of cute," but it's actually a psychological whammy caused by Obi-Wan being supernaturally adorable as a species-specific juvenile defense mechanism, and is functionally immediate brainwashing by the 13yo who doesn't know that's what he's doing.

Tbh this is mostly just Defense Mechanism that makes Xanatos harmless, but in a way everyone finds very concerning and uncomfortable because it's kind of mind control.

Someone (@dracothulhu) asked if it was related to Mimic Spider AU, and it is not! Mimic spider AU is just "ohhhh you wanna fuck me so b--PSYCH! EATING YOU."

This is more "I'm a little baby, I'm SUCH a little baby, you don't want to hurt me, you could never hurt me, I'm so adorable I'm so cute doesn't it just kill you to think about hurting me?"

Mimic spider AU is just Hot and Confident. This is straight up Mind Whammie.

@threebea also thought brood parasitism, and offered:

I'm trying to figure out a reason for the Stewjoni to have like brood parasitism where they will stick their young with other families for awhile before picking them up Used to do it to Mandoalorians all the time, and it's part of the reason the Mandalorian adopt anything stereotype got so strong. Stewjoni looking at Jedi: those seem parent shaped here you go

Which is great, except I actually started with the idea of it being kind of the inverse!

(That said, I won't actually say no to the brood parasitism option.)

Xanatos: had been about to kidnap and put him on a deep sea mine now is feeding him pudding Is it he's acting normal but doing weird things or is he suddenly talking to Obi-Wan like he's an adorable puppy

He's kind of zoned out.

Xanatos: look at him so cute Omg Obi-Wan: standing there Xanatos: kriff I don't have a camera - also from threebea

Also cuddles! Which Obi-Wan actually Does Not Want. But if he's Very Very Still then maybe Qui-Gon will find him and fix this.

Like if a tiger held and groomed you and you just were waiting Very Still for the zookeeper to distract it and/or load up the tranq.

After the days he's had he'd perhaps like a cuddle but not from this guy Lol Xanatos: so soft The effect only works on humans and near humans so it didn't work on the hutt and (can't remember the other species) on the ship

We can say it works through the Force and that's why the Hutt is immune.

"Stewjoni are targets of slavers" but specifically for illegal adoptions. It's lucrative, because most bounty hunters last about twenty seconds before they give the crying baby back where it wants to go.

And most of the immune ones get caught by planetary defense forces.

So if you CAN steal a baby, the profit margin is insane, since it's so damn hard to do, but the baby up for illegal adoption is sooooo cute.

(…this concept would be hilarious with one of those "Tor adopts baby Ben Kenobi to turn into a weapon" AUs. Still a shitty childhood bc Death Watch can justify a lot under the umbrella of Teaching Self-Defense. But interesting.)

IF YOU HAVE READ TWILIGHT: do you remember the bit about vampire babies being so cute that people would let them slaughter entire villages without a qualm?

It's like that, except Obi-Wan doesn't have dreams of mass slaughter and it only really activates as a Threat Response.

I guess the evolutionary trigger is it's kind of a paralytic You can't move far from where you stole the kid

Which is exactly right!

Me and my friend had some fun trying to rewrite the sequel trilogy a while ago and I think the best idea we had was Luke dies and Han and Rey get stranded on some nowhere planet where he has to haphazardly attempt to teach her years of jedi training in like a week entirely by reading out of Luke’s notes (somehow even worse than Luke’s extremely DIY training in the OT).

This isn’t at all based on the ‘Han has the force’ theory it’s literally just crabby atheist old man Han Solo and his dead best friend’s religious texts that are totally useless to him vs the world.

i LOVE that, disney needs to get you two rewriting the sequels STAT

(commission info // tip jar!)

tfw you find out your peaceful jedi boyfriend uses slurs

(commission info // tip jar!)

He’s the cutest stop it

Empress

This AU really starts when Anakin finds his mother in the Tusken camp, but only truly works if there is a little set up before.  It is imperative, for reasons that will become clear, to note that in this Palpatine has been manipulating Anakin with the Force, as opposed to only psychologically, since he was a child.  Palpatine has been seeding the darkside, hidden deep so that it was never discovered (even by Anakin), waiting to sprout and spread the darkside like an infection at the appropriate moments. 

When Anakin finds his mother as she dies, he loses it, but not to violence. Instead he panics and shoves every bit of Force that he can into his mother’s body to try and bring her back and heal her. Every bit of the Force, including the darkside seeds that Palpatine had been planting.  Because healing is primarily a light sided technique, thus somewhat purifying, Shmi does not get the full force of the darkside infection that would have hit her son (so we avoid Vader!Shmi or even Full Sidious!Shmi) however there were a number of long lasting effects to the way Anakin panicked and brought her back (incidentally Anakin has now created two new deities for the Tuskans, which Shmi does note and will make use of later).  These include:

A Force bond between her and Anakin that gave her Anakin's memories and feelings for the past decade. 

A working knowledge of what Palpatine knew (From Palpatine’s Dark Seeds), though no firsthand memories. 

Force Sensitivity that is powerful enough to use the various techniques she just gained the knowledge to use.

A significant hit to the moral centers of her psyche.

A Soul Deep and engrossing ambition to rule the Galaxy.

Now Shmi is not evil in the way that Palpatine is (Palpatine is the kind of evil that not only does whatever he wants to accomplish his goal, but actively goes out of his way to create as much collateral as possible and will in fact even mildly inconvenience himself in order to increase collateral damage) but she does now fall closer to Amoral than not. Like her first option is not to kill kids, but it is never not an option. Shmi does justify her new desire to rule the galaxy, based on the fact that she would be better at it than Palpatine. 

By the time Anakin and Shmi have made it back to the Lars homestead, she has her son wrapped around her finger even more than she would have. She had also, through the careful recounting of how one of the men who had seemed so kindly to the slave children had actually been a child murder (couching it it in terms that one of Anakin's childhood friends, who it turned out had been a victim of this man, grave had been found and the man brought to a rather brutal justice), partially broken Anakin’s trust in Palpatine without ever letting on that she knew who Palpatine was.  

After they get back to the Homestead, Shmi tells Anakin that she wants him to visit again and to bring Obi Wan (It was after they had talked about what had been happening since he left). Anakin loves Obi Wan as a brother, and as such Shmi loves him too. Padme has also fallen quickly under Shmi’s influence, which is good considering that Shmi intended to make Padme another daughter in law (Both because Anakin had a crush, and she wanted Anakin to have what he wanted, and because Senator and former Queen of Naboo is actually a decently powerful set of titles).  Shmi gently shoos her sweet, oblivious son off the planet with her future daughter in law (it is for the best that her Jedi Son be off the planet for what she is about to do next) making them promise to visit soon. 

Cliegg and Beru also fall quickly under Shmi’s spell. Owen holds out a bit longer (I am fully convinced that his ability to hold back Skywalker BS comes from growing up with Shmi, not his few interactions with Anakin) but is just as willing to follow Shmi’s lead within a tenday.

While a galaxy wide war is breaking out, Shmi quietly but very firmly takes control of Tatooine. Then, in spite of the fact she had not left the planet in decades, she quickly takes control of the rest of the Hutt Empire.  Her identity remains hidden; she does not want to fight her son or his Jedi family because they do not yet understand her vision for the galaxy. They will, of that she is sure, but it will take time.

One of the many things she does is abolish slavery within her new Empire.  It is both easier and harder than it would appear. Easier in that she does not care about the power or money of the people who made their living in trafficking of sentient life, so she does not care about the economics of the systems she dismantles. Harder because the Hutt Empire was built on slavery; there are significantly larger portions of every population of the Hutt Planets then anyone realized who had spent most of their lives enslaved, with no training or education and very little idea how to exist without being enslaved (with all the psychological and sociological implications therein).  But she does it, quietly absorbing the fledgling Zygerrian Empire as well. 

A year and a half into the Clone wars Shmi is finally ready to make her move. 

In that time she has become well connected with Padme, who asks for approval to marry Anakin six months into the war (Approval that Shmi grants, on the condition that Padme also get approval from Obi wan, as Anakin’s older brother/father. Padme asks, and to the surprise of both Padme and Anakin immediately gets Obi Wan’s baffled, but pleased, approval. In this one marriage is not forbidden to Jedi, it really isn’t even discouraged. No one seems to want to marry a Jedi, as far as the Jedi are concerned. Date a Jedi, well that seems to be common fantasy. Sleep with a Jedi, all the time. But never marry. This all serves Shimi’s true purpose, to continue to break the trust between her son and Palpatine). They do decide to wait until after the war, when they can have everyone attend; in part because Palpatine is pushing them both in a really creepy way. 

She makes her move by going on vacation with Cliegg to a world she knew, from her own spies, was about to be attacked by separatists. A world that it was highly likely the 212th would be deployed to. In the time it takes for the 212th to liberate the planet, it is a relatively minor battle so only takes a few weeks, Shmi and Clieg have connected with the battalion and convinced them to transport them (Shmi and Cliegg) to Coruscant.  If asked, even Obi Wan, Cody, or the Natborn officers are not sure how they came to agree to take two civilians to the Core but everyone Shmi meets becomes absolutely convinced that it was a reasonable decision. During this trip Shmi bonds with Obi Wan, as her son’s brother/father/teacher.  This was one of her goals, to get a clearer picture of who Obi Wan is, and through him the Jedi Order; Anakin’s memories and feelings are a bit mixed on the Jedi as a whole but she also knows, from Palpatine’s knowledge, that Palpatine had been manipulating those feelings for years.  She finds that she does like Obi Wan. Because of this Shmi intends, beyond even what her plan calls for,  that she would ensure that Obi Wan found happiness in her Empire. 

Upon arriving on Coruscant Shmi sends Cliegg (in disguise) to meet with various criminal underworld leaders who know of her fledgeling Empire, while she meets with members of the Jedi council to plant the seeds of her Galactic Empire. 

It is in this that we truly see the difference between Shmi and Sidious. Shmi wants to Rule the galaxy. Sidious wants to Subjugate the galaxy. Now granted the difference between the two is not as much as people who want the former would protest, but is greater than what the people who want the latter would claim. In this case ruling is a small group having a disproportionate amount of power over a larger group. Subjugation is a group or person asserting total control over another group or person. While a ruler can abuse the power they have, in order to subjugate someone, a being MUST abuse them to break them in such a way the subjugator can control them.  

In spite of her forced amorality Shmi is actually a good person and wants to be a good Empress for the galaxy. So for her, subjugation is more work (realistically 90% of the galaxy is not going to notice if they are in a republic or an empire, and not just because the Empire had been disguising itself as a republic for a decade. That same 90% have comparatively simple needs and are going to be fine with a ruler who provides them. Whereas requires constant control measures to apply the exact correct amount of pressure to bend the populace to your will, without breaking them into rebelling. Ruling well is actually less costly) for less benefit. Because of that having the super powered warrior monks, who most of the beings that would oppose an Empress on principle are going to look to as a paragon of wisdom,  buy into the idea that Shmi should be Empress and that they would be happier in her Empire makes more sense than eradicating them.  Also, complicated feelings aside, the Jedi make up part of Anakin’s family and she does not want to hurt Anakin’s family.

Shmi also, at the behest of Anakin, took time to go with him to meet his friend Palpatine.  While in the waiting room she speaks with Fox, on guard duty, who she recognizes from her talks with Cody as the person to place a bet with(No one suspects the stern commander of the Coruscant Guard to be the biggest bookie in three systems). After about an hour of chit chat (During which Palpatine has no idea he has met someone with all of his knowledge, who is planning to abscond with the Grand Sith Plan) Anakin and Shmi leave the Senate. Anakin semi anxiously asks her what she thinks of Palpatine, babbling a little bit that Obi Wan doesn't like him, but Obi Wan hates most politicians. Shmi, after letting a long pause stretch, says that Obi Wan has good instincts (Look I really want Palpatine to be faced with his own manipulation tactics) and casually mentions Obi Wan’s time enslaved and how that must have hond those instincts- which he had not told Shmi about but that she could guess.  Again without directly accusing Palpatine of anything, Shmi manages to get across to Anakin that as the Chancellor, Palpatine actually currently has all the power and has used it to effectively enslave the clones and the Jedi. Fully breaking Anakin’s trust in Palpatine and tying him closer to the Jedi (where Shmi wants him).   During this exchange Anakin asks what she had been talking to Fox about and she answers with ‘placing a bet’. Anakin lights up and guesses it is the ‘CodyWan Bet’, because literally everybody noticed their pining and that neither will admit it (Shmi uses that to drive the point home that both are effectively enslaved and do not feel free to be together if they might be ‘sold’ apart-a concept that Anakin is very familiar with).

I am not sure where it ends, except that Shmi does indeed become Empress and her Force powers work as such that she gains power through being loved, so in being a good ruler she stops aging. The Jedi do buy in and Palpatine does end up dead. Someone in Shmi’s smaller Empire, before she becomes Empress, discovers the chips and their purpose, which leads to the entirety of the Clones transplanting themselves (GAR, Cadets, everyone) to a planet in the former Hutt space (deeply freaked out over what they could have been made to do to their Jedi) and refusing all calls for like a year, while they dechip. The Jedi (all of them) transplanted themselves to the next planet over, waiting semi impatiently to be allowed to visit their men again.  Shmi meeting Ahsoka after she becomes Anakin’s Padawan and deciding that, as her oldest grandchild, Ahsoka would have the option to be her heir if she would like (Ahsoka really wants to be a Jedi, but agrees to hold the status until another heir comes along-she gratefully passed the heir status to Leia when Leia was born, as she could not be knighted while still the Empress’s Heir). 

Oh and Obi Wan does get to be happy with Cody in the new Empire, with frequent visits from Satine (I like the idea that they were childhood sweethearts/first loves that knew they would not fit well romantically but still loved each other and got to be overprotective of each other-Satine adores Cody, thinks he is perfect for Obi Wan and thy find time every so often to take an evening to drink over whatever ridiculous situation Obi Wan go himself into this time)

I just had a random thought: As long as a force-sensitive person's body is still present in the galaxy, their "presence" will remain with it until it is fully decomposed. This is why jedi burn their dead, so that their friends can live on in the force instead of decaying alongside their physical bodies. The Empire preserved Luminara's corpse because they knew that other jedi would sense her presence clinging to her body, therefore come to rescue her because they would think she was still alive.

That makes... a horrible amount of sense ghghghkgdhs.