Nevermind 3

“He is smoke and skin, air and bone, and when his mouth presses against hers, the first thing she tastes in the turning of the seasons, the moment when dusk gives way to night.”

— V.E. Schwab, The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue

“One day someone is going to hug you so tight, that all of your broken pieces will stick back together.”

— Unknown

This is my dream house!!!!!!

(by soheyla_ranjbar)

Never Mind 8

Hi! It's time for new part of Never Mind. I can say that this part is one I like myself. It's not like amazing and so deep and emotional part but I like it.

Why I did it? Why I went to him? Why I crabbed him? Why I crabbed his neck and not hand? Why I made him die? Why I had to choke him? Why I did it? Why I started becoming a monster that had spoken even before I was born? Just why did I born if it never meant to happen? Those question ran circle inside my head and they were making me crazy. Why went there? I need him and not only now but I will need him in future. I was just looking him and watch him try to breath. He tried to get my hands off around his neck. But I didn't let go. I made him die. No one haven't told me to do it but I still did it. I choked him and listened him say 'I love you'. Goosebumbs ran on my skin and left cold touch on it. I didn't cry and I left like I was wachting myself outside my body. But I felt my cold andhollow body around me. The boy was the most dearest person to me. So why just the freaking why I did let him die by my hands?

-Hey, what are doig here?

A hand placed on my shoulder. I did not want anyone to come and bother me now. I stood up and hit him with all my strenght and the person fell onto floor.

-None if your buisness asshole

I grabbed the man's feet and dragged him to others. I have had other people knock out before him. I did not want anyone to bother me. Then I just went to desk and found paper and pencil. I wrote "I don't know, maybe I was afraid and maybe I still am scared. You won't wait me with happy smile on your face anymore, not after you find out that your son died by my hands."

Then I just looked the note little time. I left the note and took that beautiful pencil with me. Then I heard some weak voice from pile of unmissed people. I opened a window other side of the room. I put my hood cover my head, white mask to cover my face and still once I scanned the room, then I escaped through the narrow window to lightless night.

Nevermind 4

New part of the story Nevermind.

Should I let go? Or should I hold on? I didn’t know, because I was lost. If I hold on I would drown in the world, but everything I want or need would be right there when I need something. If I let go I would fall, but I would get freedom. I didn’t knew which one would be worse opinion. Did I wanted change thing or did I want to keep everything I already had? If I let myself fall down I would leave others behind and if I hold on they will lift me up. This might be my only change. It was yes or not. Up or down. My hands were tired. I was hanning here a lon time already. I had to make a decision, but I wanted both. I wanted to feel my bones crush and that awful feeling of flying. Same time I wanted to snuggle inside a big warm blanket right next to a fireplace watching gold flames play.

- Where are you? Voice of a call was wafted on the ground. No, finally. I thought. They found me. Now I could let go and fall all the way to the ground or wait them to lift me up from this edge. I looked up to sunny sky. There wasn’t any clouds. Now do the decision. I told myself. I took deep breath and closed my eyes strictly. I calmed my nerves as much as I could. If I wanted to let go I had to do it now, before they see me. I took a breath again. They we be okay without me, I told myself and let go of the railing I was holdong on. But right before I started to fall, hands took a firm grip on me. Grip was tight and the boy had saved me. Other boy came next to him and grabbed my other hand. They lifted me up. Away from the edge, away from the railing.

Nevermind 3

Here again just writing something but what can I do. This is just calming my nerves. This time it’s just short one.

- Wait!

- Hey girl wait for me.

I was packing my thing in my back. The girl has went to hall already but I still belive she heard me. I put a white mask and my quickly my lunch in my back. I grabbed back with me and ran after the girl. I saw couple person still wearing shoes but no one was my friend. Of course I didn’t want to be burden for my friends but someone could’ve wait for me. Everyone doesn’t have to wait me, one is enough. I took my shoes and walked to doors. My friend from the locker room turned back from a hallway and saw me but she just passed me and walked back to others. No one cared about me. I was always out of frined groups. Right before doors there was a window. When I watched throught it I saw people outside. There was all my friends. Some of them went to their cars and others just went down the street. I saw them laugh and say goodbyes. I was greatful for that I had friends but I never felt truely happy or welcome around them. I wore my shoes and went outside. I started to walk away from little worn building to home. After couple of street I saw the girl I’ve asked to wait be and I considered to go to her but then I saw that she had someone else to be with.

“I know some who are constantly drunk on books as other men are drunk on whiskey.”

― H.L. Mencken

I want something like this to my home