I Just Realized That With The Average Human Lifespan Being 70+ Years And Still Increasing I Will Probably

Other social media actually sucks.

Like I had a problem with tumblr, they sent me an email, I clicked a few times and, done, fixed. Now, a certain blue letter site on the other hand... You telling me you've seen suspicious activity on my account, the account that both I and God know hasn't seen any movement except DUST floating around for 2+ years, and now, I must show you (Read photograph) ACTUAL physical documents like my birth certificate and driver's license and shiz? That you'll keep for a whole YEAR? Just to be let back in? I THINK NOT.

~Prompt~

Lady Gotham collects curses like one would collect Pokemon/Yu-Gi-Oh cards.

Like, she literally buys them of off people. She also offers to trade rare curses for one's she has in excess. Tho, no one takes her up on those offers, which she considers very odd (she's completely clueless that people don't collect curses like post stamps, and she finds it odd that no one wants to trade with her [:(] ).

She keeps them in the form of little cards with all the accompanying stats like attack power, effectiveness, energy cost, evil etc. (They are written in units of measurement only she understands)

ANYWAYS- When Danny need a curse to actually tech Vlad a lesson this time (and maybe something for the GIW) he goes to Lady Gotham to ask her if she has anything that fits his needs. She immediately pulls out 16 different decks of curses.

Danny always jokingly said his luck was cursed, so he offers it up in jest. Lady Gotham immediately slides the 16 ridiculously large decks of curses to Danny and apologizes "I'm sorry I don't have any more, if I knew you where going to offer up such an powerful curse, I would have prepared even more."

Danny ends up picking like 3 very funny and very lesson inducing curses and leaves, somewhat shocked but happy anyway, while Lady Gotham fades away with a smile (She is happy someone finally traded with her)

Meanwhile, on a nearby building Red Hood stares at the spot where the exchange he just witnessed took place, very incredulous and somewhat spooked.

As he goes to rub his eyes, he is completely unaware that he does so trough his helmet, he is also unaware of the rumbling coming from his chest. The Fenton Luck Curse starts striking.

-Prompt-

Wonder Woman:"Which God are you the child of?"

Danny: Silly hero, gods are not real.

Also Danny *Thinking*:'Oh sh*t oh f*ck! If the gods are real that means Dan killed them! Oh sh*t, that means I can kill gods!'

Bash supes mood go!

-Prompt-

*Insert view of the watchtower* *cartoon zoom in to inside*

Hal Jordon just arrested a yellow lantern hanging around earth. Passing by the meeting room on the way to the holding area, Hal barely has time to notice the yellow core member depower when the ring flies away, both parties looking shocked.

Pan to the meeting room. Batman is, as always, sulking in a corner, Superman is scolding Connor. Phantom is chatting with Wonder Woman at the end of the table.

Out of nowhere, Superman is stopped mid sentence by a yellow light hovering in front of his face.

[Kal-El, you have the power to cause great fear]

Suddenly, it gets cut off by a great *snap*. Everyone turns to look at the sound, only to see Phantom, still seated but his head is now turned 180° starring straight at the ring. His eyes drift to Connor, the to supes, and finally back to the ring.

In an instant, Danny replaces the ring, floating between superman and Connor. With a mighty 'thunk' it (the ring) turns to dust against the reinforced far wall of the room.

Holding superman by the throat, Danny's face turns to a grimace, his mouth becomes what can only be described as a pit of living sawblades.

Whit a voice like pressure washing a chalkboard with glass dust in slow-motion, he shouts:

"LiStEn hERe YOU LitTLE shiIT! I wiILL sHOVEe the REmaINS of KrYPTon so FAr up yOUr asS, you'll NEver seE YOur POWers agAIN!!"

◇Undead Empathy◇ |V

The meeting room stood and gaped in quiet shook. Jonn Constantine had just barged in and knocked the flash out cold. They simply couldn't process it.

"Constantine, explain yourself" Said a voice that sound like gravel fucked a blender, yep Bats.

"Yes, we would like to know what is going on Jonn" Dina most likely.

Jonn lifted his head from the table and turned around in Flash's stolen seat.

"You wanna know what's going on? Well this complete and utter fu"-

"Jonn" growled the bat.

"My point is this bastard" pointing at the flash, who was being checked on by a green lantern, "Is gonna cost me my life"

"Explain" "Well B, this idiot has been messing around with the time stream so much, hes managed to piss of someone above the gods of freaking death" , another stunned silence as he let them process that, and then he continued "That Something, got tired pretty fucking quickly of fixing his mistakes, and because they apparently own my full soul" Again, but this time only somewhat stunned, because he is known to give out his soul like candy. "Decided that I should be the one to babysit feet for brains over here or else I'll have to spend the rest of my life fixing his fuckups". Almost shouted Jonn as he leaned back in his seat.

As B was busy musing over the given information, Zatanna turned twords him and asked "What is the name or title of this entity?"

"Its-" Just as he was about to say The Ghost King, he noticed something wrong. "His Majesty The Ghost King, Ruller of The Infinite Realms and all existing and non-existing Afterlifes" Shouted Constantine with the tone of a royal announcer.

Again, complete and utter silence... "I need a bloody drink" groned the detective as he slumped over the table.

"What was that?" Queried Wonder Woman.

"Either a compulsion or a taboo probably" provided Zatanna.

~◇ ◇~

"So, you're saying that if I don't stop going back in time, he basically dies?" Asked Flash from the medbay bed, ice pack to his nose while pointing at Jonn

"That is correct" Answered Martian Manhunter.

"Well, now I get why you where so pissed, but maybe next time don't go for the face, it's one of my best attributes". Joked the speedster.

"There won't be a next time. STOP using Flqshpoint or I'll look you in a room outside of time." All but ordered Constantine.

"Maybe we can discuss this over with Lord what's his face?" Asked flash. "No/We can't/Its not possible" Said Zatanna, Jonn and Captain Marvel at the same time.

"Gee, I get it, I get it" and turned his gaze twords the corner "And you don't have to say it Bats, I know you well enough by now, I'll stop time traveling".

As the conversation turned to silence, Jonn turned to leave but was stopped with a "And where are you going Jonn?" by double w.

"Home, the house is in ruins, I have to re-ward everything again."

"They broke into the House of Mysterys?!" Shout questioned Zatanna.

Constantine just sighed.

{|} {||} {|||}

@lehana37 @illusionwolfwriter24r8 @stealingyourbones

This just popped into my head!

-Prompt-

Danny is in Gotham, and he had a long day at work and just wants some of his ecto gum. He reaches into his pocket but can't seem to find it.

So, he reaches again, this time that long reaches with the other arm (you know the one you do when something's stuck inside your pocket).

He absolutely doesn't notice when his hand fazes trough him, nor does he noticed that the "gum" he snatched was in fact not gum at all, but the soul of a clown that was sneaking behind a Wayne looking kid. So, he chews and a moment later he spits it out and throws it behind him, feeling remorseful and sorry for himself for eating rotten gum.

The "gum" lands back into the body of the quite shocked Joker. He jumped into the abyss and it spat him out in disgust. Later he will start feeling the same feelings Danny had felt, remorseful and apologetic.

Doctor Harleen Quinzel, because there is no way she is gonna remain Harely Quinn after what she just saw; Stares in horror and shock (and quite frankly an absurd amount of glee and amusement) at the kid who just plucked the Joker soul (because tha ball of shining dark light could only be a soul) chewed it out and quickly spat it back out (quite a lot cleaner, might she add) and threw it away like one of her hyenas after Ivy forced fed them vegetables as punishment for misbehaving.

By god she has a story the people at the bar are not going to belive for a week or so. You didn't need a doctorate to see that what just happened shook the Joker quite a bit. And she didn't even get to use her BATbat, awww....

Meanwhile Danny is completely oblivious to what he just did.

So, to continue this:

■Gotham■

The city has basically turned into a free for all arena between:

Old mafia families (To capture the Joker for their leaders)

Red Hood

The batfam-1 (To capture the Joker for Jason)

Batman (He, himself is not quite sure what he is trying to do)

A couple of rogues (Ivy, Harley, Mr.Freze, etc.)

Jonh Constantine (This little shit wants to piss hell [and the rest of the supernatural] off even more by getting away)

Deadshot (An easy way out, might even get to hang out with his doughter)

The Church (It's a CRUSADE!)

And finally Jack and Maddie Fenton, who feel like they have to atone for what the have done to their sweet little boy.

Oh, and Jazz is also there to make sure that the Joker stays dead after everyone is done with him.

So the city is in an Almost total state of chaos, vigilanties and mercenaries prowling and jumping between rooftops, mafia families and goons on every street and alleyway. A church mob (complet with crosses, torches and pitchforks on every main road) A trashcan magician popping in and out at random throughout the city. A tall, amazonian like woman with red hair leaning on walls and sings, sighing walking away and then doing it again carring a wicked looking techno pistol. And the Fenton couple in their tank like abomination tearing trough the streets.

(Everybody is making sure not to harm innocents otherwise what's the point of the pardon. Plus god is watching.)

All this while the Joker cowers in fear in a swear deep beneath Gotham, terrorized by the shades of his past victims.

@thegatorsgoose @krzys2000 @i-smile-every-day @skulld3mort-1fan @malice-of-the-sunrise @akikkobara

Ok, so Danny rules all afterlifes, and being the clown hating little shit he is goes:

◇Sky goes green over Gotham◇

"Listen and hear this Royall decree!"

"I, Phantom, God-King of all afterlifes hearby say"

"That as long as your crimes do not exceed his, and you are willing to repent,"

"So long as you kill the Joker, all your sins will be absolved and you will be granted entry into your Heaven of choice!"

Jason-*Sheds a tear* Fuck yeah! *Fist bump*

Harley-*Evil grin*

Ivy-*Evil grin... but in green*

The rest of the bafamily-"Does this mean-"

Batman-"No"

The rest of the bafamily-"But God said so!"

John 'Fuck my life' Constantine-"I need a drink.... Who emptied all the pubs!?" (By bad luck he just happened to be in Gotham)

The rest of Gotham-*Party! Umptz! Umptz!* (Also emptied all the pubs)

The Joker-"Uh oh..."

Danny 'Fuck that clown in particular' Phantom-*Literally splits his head in two like a nightmare cheshire cat grinning*

-Small Prompt-

So the Fenton decide to silently stalk Phantom for once. When he turns into Danny, they freze and stare incredulously.

Maddie:So that's why he's been acting weird ever since the portal turned on.

Jack:Say what are the chances that the portal did this to him?

Maddie:I'd say pretty high.

Jack: It's either the portal or the hotdogs.

Maddie: Hmm... It's probably the portal but we should get rid of the hotdogs just in case.

Jack:While we do that we should find a way to tell Danny how proud we are of him without freaking him out.

-Prompt-

Danny gets his hatred of clowns from his mother, who has taken a kill on sight vow on the Joker for murdering her father (Walker). Walker has the same vow as Maddie, because the Joker has taken him away from his daughter.

Que Phantom, tierd of both of their shit.

He picks up both Maddie and Walker by the nape of their necks like feral overgrown kittens, flies both of the to Gotham, drops the right in front of Arkham, shoves ecto riffles in their hands and goes-

Phantom:"There! Now, go work your issues out," and points towards the gates "Happy Hunting! I want his knees on my mantle when you get back!" He then proceedes to do a loopty-loop as he flies away.

As it turns out, the cultists are Star, Paulina and Dash (With whom Danny became friends) who wanted to summon Danny for a movie night.

And now Red Hood is forced into a new friendship he didn't want.

The girls, surprisingly, give him tips on how to scare the life out of people, and how to better clean "ketchup stains" (Like they'd believe that, they live withe the dead at their doorstep for crying out loud.) out of his suit.

Dash who'd long chilled out and actuality studiess some of the books and journals Fenton left him (mostly because some minor ghosts and blobs kept interrupting his football games) as a hobby. He starts to recognize some of the symptoms on Jason as Ghost Flu (What full ghosts call being infected with corrupt ectoplasm) and core starvation and actually starts to help him out... mostly by straight up dragging him to the Fenton family (Who know about their son's situation [Why do you think GIW stopped showing up? Nobody messes with their baby.] and are ok with it.). The Fentons then procede to drag all of them to the far frozen.

All while Danny is COMPLETELY unaware that he has a sworn sword.

Had a prompt thought (I don't need credit or anything idk). Danny's always getting summoned as the ghost king, but what if Jason ended up summoned somehow instead? Maybe new king Danny is supposed to have a sworn sword or something ceremonial and he gets the Red Hood. Or Amity cultists go for summoning Phantom and end up with liminal Jason Todd instead.

Jason appears in full ceremonial armor and is 100% ready to throw hands with whoever just yoinked him from his movie night with Roy.