ITS LOOKING AT ME. 😯

If I can recommend you do 1 low-effort thing for the love of God it is this:

Keep 5 cards in your pocket. One will say "yes", the second will say "no."

If you lose your voice, or lose speech, or want to make a dramatic embellishment at the right time, it is an elegant and efficient solution that is right there at hand.

But what if people question you from there? "Why do you have that card? Why would you do this? How long have you had that in your pocket?" For this, or whatever else they say, the third card: "I don't have a card for that."

"What the fuck," they ask. They laugh. They are bemused. You bring the energy back down with the fourth card: "I have laryngitis. I've lost speech. My throat hurts". Whatever you expect to occur.

The joke is over. Rule of threes. Now they are curious. YThey wonder about logistics. "How did you know I would say that? Is everyone so predictable?"

As a three-part bit, nobody ever sees the fifth card coming.

"I have powerful wizard magics."

Gets them every time

matthew sturniolo if u r on tumblr and you like what u read pls wear blue in wednesdays vid

yall… 😭 ik i have requests but im writing a new ethan landry smut fic 🤞🏼

(coming today 👀)

I can’t fix him but I could fuck him.

oops

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading

idk about y’all but i live by the “save a horse, ride a cowboy” rule 🤠

snaps from bsf Nick are LITERALLY my favorite thing in the world i stg it’s like im ACTUALLY friends with him! PLEASE IM BEGGING FOR MORE

anything for you

SNAPS WITH BSF! NICK PT. 5

masterlist

taglist:

@mqttittude @luverboychris @knowingnothingnoel @whicked-hazlatwhore @mattsdinosweater @n00dl3zzz @sophssturn @sstvrnioloo @sturnioloenthusiast @lolasturniolo @mattsleftnipple03 @ilovemenwithlonghairr @lacysturniolo @guccifrog @hearts4chriss @sttzee @stunza @fawned01

Um Gerard’s gay ass voice in the isolated vampires outro. Beautiful unshowered New Jersey woman asmr