Someone Put Hoodwinked Anthony Green And Pro Rev Frank In A Room Together They’re Gonna Be Sucking

why is this so.. why is he so..

the open mouth. the JAW i cannot i physically emotionally and mentally need this man

hot take but literally who cares if wendy slid into hamzahs dms… for one he probably doesn’t even look at his dms. for another there’s definitely so many other girls hitting him up so why is it the end of the world when a public figure does it. you guys are too invested into someone’s life as if he’s going to let you hit. maybe i’m not the one who should be talking about this but whatever

”now im down bad crying at the gym” I LOVE MOTHER 😭😭😭

fake dating ~ chris sturniolo

slow burn ( i think ), your both seniors(18), also i live in Ireland so idk how American like years ik school works so just go with it, use of y/n, half based on to all the boys I’ve loved before but not really, highschool!chris

P2 P3 P4

*not proofreading*

Summary ~~you both need to get peoples attention but you might just end up catching eachothers~~

~

you and Chris have been bestfriends since you met in freshmen year. We clicked instantly and have been by eachothers sides in everything. So it wasn’t surprising that you and him were sitting on his bed eating ice cream after his girlfriend broke up with him and your crush started ghosting you.

“I still can’t believe it” Chris starts “after a whole year of being together she just ends it because she’s bored” he says with a mouthful of ice cream “I know but if it helps I never really liked her” you pointed out knowing it didn’t really help. You both sat in silence just enjoying eachothers presence. Even though you were sad Ben ghosted you atleast you still have Chris. This happened a lot with boys though, they would see how close me and Chris were and get intimidated.

“I have an idea” Chris exclaims. You roll your eyes slightly and turn your head to look at him, knowing it probably isn’t good. “And before you say no just hear me out” now you were curious. “Ok…” you said unsure. “We should like pretend we’re together to make Amelia and Ben jealous” he starts “What no Chris im not” he cuts you off “come on y/n it will help both of us ameila will realise she made a mistake, and I get her back and Ben will get jealous and start wanting you again” he pleads. You’re still unconvinced. “Chris it’s a bad idea” you said blankly “give me 2 reasons we shouldn’t do it and I’ll never mention it again” he protests, but you couldn’t think of one you just had a weird feeling about it “I….” You trail of trying to think. “See please let’s juts try it out, you can’t even think of one!” He says through another spoonful of ice cream. “I don’t know Chris lemme think about it” you said and he nods. “ I should probably go home since we have school” i said while getting up. “Ughhhhh, well make sure to think about my idea” he said while frowing but smirking a bit at the end. “ ok Chris” you laughed while walking out the door.

-at school-

You walk to your locker, half hoping Chris had ditched his idea on getting Amelia back but also thinking it wouldn’t be too bad, i mean what’s the worse that can happen. As your opening you locker, you feel an arm come around your shoulders. You look up and are met with Chris smiling looking down at you. “So did you make your mind up about my amazing plan” he says leaning down to you. “Wow, no hello?, how are you?” You says offended but clearing joking, he laughed and stood infront of you with both hands now resting on your shoulders. “No but seriously” he said looking you dead in the eye. You sigh, still thinking. “Fine but come to my house after school, if this is gonna happen we need to set some rules.” You said monotone. “Oh my god really? You’re the best y/n” he said while attacking you with a hug, that you slightly fall back from. “I know i am.”

I’m waiting in the car park for Chris, thinking if this is just a massive mistake, when I feel someone tap my shoulder. I turn around and it’s Chris with a huge grin on his face, I couldn’t say no now seeing how happy he is. “You ready” he beams his smile “yup…” you mumble as you walk to the car.

Matt drops you two off at the house and him and nick head back to their house. It’s silent while you both walk up to your room and sit down. Matt and nick both know what Chris’ ‘amazing’ idea is beside he doesn’t like hiding stuff from them. They both said it was a bit weird but whatever works for us. “So.. what rules do you have?” Chris finally spoke up. “Well, no kissing cause I haven’t had my first one and I don’t want it to not mean anything” you said truthfully “but then how will people believe we’re together what kind of couple doesn’t kiss” he protests, i just shrug. “How bout I can liek give you a peck, nothing intimate just quick” he suggested, I thought about for a second. “Ok I guess” I said, I trusted him so I didn’t really mind too much. “Is that the only rule?” He questioned. “Yea just don’t be talking weird about me to like people” I said not wanting him to spread anything to his hockey team, I knew he wouldn’t but to be sure. “Yea obviously” he reassured and I smiled while nodding. “Alright, start tomorrow?” He not really asking. “Yea I guess” I said still not convinced that this will work. “Perfect, let’s go get food?”

The next morning the triplets picked me up for school, because Chris said we had to walk in together. You were nervous about it since Chris was more ‘popular’ than you, he was the captain of the hockey team and he was good looking, hell he was hot. Everyone praised him, while you were still known, but no one loved you like they loved Chris. People, mainly girls, fell at his feet, he was probably one of the most popular guys in the school and him having a big following online just made this bigger.

When you both walked in Chris had his arm around you with his hand placed half on your hip and half on your ass. You got a few looks and stares but people knew how close you are so didn’t think much of it. Until you two reached your locker and he stepped infront of you with both hands on your waist and gave you a quick kiss on your lips, then bending down and whispering in your ear “you did great” and then giving you a kiss on the head before walking to his locker. You looked around and there were definitely more people starting and whispering to eachother than before. Two in particular were staring a bit too long at you so you gave them a slightly sarcastic smile and opened your locker.

While walking to class you heard a few whispers like:

“I mean her and Chris”

“Why would Chris chose her”

“Who is that and why did Chris kiss her”

“Did you hear about y/n and Chris”

You sighed and walked to your usual seat beside your girl-bestfriend, madison. “Hi madi” you smiled. “Chris??” You looked at her confused “you’re dating Chris!? Your best friend!?” Oh yeah that. “Yea..” you mumbled not wanting her to know what’s really happening since you were a bit embarrassed. “Why didn’t you tell me?” She asked “sorry it just happened fast I was going to” she just nodded and started writing notes again.

Class ended and you were going to your normal lunch table with the triplets, madi, ava, ciara (matts girlfriend), and Nate. You saw everyone sitting there except Chris. But before you could reach the table you felt someone grab your wrist and it was Chris. “Come sit with me” he said not letting go of your wrist. “Why don’t we sit with are friends” you questioned. “Because we need to be seen alone together.” He said like it was obvious and brought his hand to mine while interlocking them.

This was going to be weird to get used to.

i’m gonna lose my fucking mind.

my bisexual ass is having a heart attack are you fucking kidding me. get this shit off my screen right now before i combust.

i dont know why i shared all that information is one of my favorite phrases ever because every day i really dont know why i shared all that information

If I can recommend you do 1 low-effort thing for the love of God it is this:

Keep 5 cards in your pocket. One will say "yes", the second will say "no."

If you lose your voice, or lose speech, or want to make a dramatic embellishment at the right time, it is an elegant and efficient solution that is right there at hand.

But what if people question you from there? "Why do you have that card? Why would you do this? How long have you had that in your pocket?" For this, or whatever else they say, the third card: "I don't have a card for that."

"What the fuck," they ask. They laugh. They are bemused. You bring the energy back down with the fourth card: "I have laryngitis. I've lost speech. My throat hurts". Whatever you expect to occur.

The joke is over. Rule of threes. Now they are curious. YThey wonder about logistics. "How did you know I would say that? Is everyone so predictable?"

As a three-part bit, nobody ever sees the fifth card coming.

"I have powerful wizard magics."

Gets them every time

like what the actual fuck he’s like getting sexier by the second, THE SILVER JEWELLERY AND THE BLACK FIT?!? HELLO

I’M SALIVATING, FOAMING AT THE MOUTH, BITING MY LIP TO THE POINT OF BLEEDING, CLOSING MY LEGS TO AVOID LOUD AND AGGRESSIVE PURRING

You have that one photo with Matt?

Im just courios

yea it was dm’d to me but i dont wanna spread the deepfake around, i feel like its invading privacy and stuff so i wont be posting it or dming people it sorry

since the old version of this post was flagged for ‘adult content’…

reblog this post if your account is a trans safe space or owned by a trans person!

along with that, reblog if your account is a non-binary spectrum safe space or owned by someone on the enby spectrum!