People I Imagine As Jude (multiple People Bcs In Everything AND Everyone I See, I See Him)

auuuuuGHHHH the old man in Rome. Harold being so happy that Jude is recognized as his son by others even when they don't look anything alike, but the love is so clear and so vivid that people can just tell. Like when Harold was telling Liesl about adopting Jude and she can just tell how much he loves him that she says "You love him a lot" bc Harold loves so freely and so intensely and so unconditionally and his love shines out of him like warm rays of sun

And also the old man teasing Harold for being so plain but having such a beautiful wife and handsome son,,,,,,,,,,justice for Harold Stein

literally and the way harold and jude just fit, so well so that people think they’re biologically related. :(

october 22, 2023

I just read the first chapter of the “axiom of equality” part of a little life and dude I’m really reconsidering the way I view life as a whole.

x=x, yes Jude, I feel you so fucking much, all my life I felt like I wouldn’t surpass this feeling of being wrong, the wrongdoings of my childhood, my mistakes and mistakes of others done to me haunt me every single moment of my days, maybe If I were funnier, maybe I if worked on my weight a little harder it would disappear, what did I do to deserve so much hate from others as a kid? to experience the heavy bullying? why should it stain my memory like a wine stained carpet? (you get used to it but it’s never really clean, this metaphor worked in my head so please bear with it). and Caleb, man I’ve met so many fucking Calebs in my life, people i trusted at first sight, thought it could work just to be utterly disappointed at the outcome.

“you’re not your past”, easier said than done.

it’s 3:15 a.m where I live as i’m writing this and I doubt i’ll be able to afford a good night of sleep due the mental state i find myself in. I haven’t cried once while reading this book, maybe it’s because I see so much of myself in these characters that I’m just perplexed and angry, at myself, at others who made me feel like a complete piece of shit my whole life, at the JB’s, cause we all have that one friend that, at some point, made fun of our insecurities and left us feeling like garbage.

read “a little life” by Hanya Yanagihara, i promise it’ll change you and the way you interpret life and others (and i haven’t even finished it yet)

here’s how i think the boys’ social media’s would be like

jude:

i think he would absolutely not have any social media at all, out of fear. but i can kinda imagine willem encouraging him to make an instagram after they went official. i feel like he’d post really artsy pictures of like trees in central park with a b&w filter on

willem:

i just know he is on EVERY platform ever idc and i feel like he’s super active on his stories too

malcolm:

would have instagram but it’d be one post from like 2013 of him and the boys

jb:

ABSOLUTELY would have insta and would make it everyone’s problem. i can picture him taking film photos of them all and just captioning it something like ‘judy.’ or ‘beauty.’ LMFAOOO

i’d pay copious amounts of money to know what jude did on the day in rome he went off alone and what he was thinking and feeling

It just downed on me that Jude died in the summer.

“Jude’s season”

guess where i was today

how i imagine willem posed for jb’s photos:

whenever i see a fairly attractive sad looking guy im like omg jude

sharks i’m asking you to resurrect jude and willem. now .