Reblog For Larger Sample Size.

"They have black hair and blue eyes, Master Bruce. I do believe that is referred to as the pot calling the kettle a serial adopter, sir."

Danny and Dani and Dan get Alfreded in three fell swoops

So like, sad time, but Alfred dies while Bruce is doing his world tour. He never survived long enough to see Bruce become Batman. Died alone in the Manor, after a particularly nasty fall and a broken neck.

But that was unacceptable.

Master Bruce, insufferable boy, could not lose another paternal figure in his life. Also the Manor was still a mess, and Bruce would need someone to make sure he didn't accidentally poison himself.

So he hid his corpse on the Manor grounds, and got to work.

And he was so glad he stayed; sure, it had taken a bit to stop glowing, but really the floating thing was amazingly helpful in reaching the chandelier, and after Master Bruce had returned he had gotten so many grandchildren.

Fast forward; Danny defeated Pariah Dark, he is Crown Prince of the Infinite Realms, Dan is attempting reformation and is technically a Prince by relation, and Dani is attempting to be Dan's parole officer and is definitely a Princess 100% she never forgets that no sir.

And Danny gets approached by some of the Observants, and they tell him that there is a very powerful ghost in Gotham, one that fully and completely blends in with humans and really needs to come to the Infinite Realms to complete his paperwork. But whenever they show up, this ghost thinks that they're there to force him to stay in the Infinite Realms.

And he kicks their asses.

Brutally.

For a bit he had a tiny kid ghost with him kicking their asses as well, but the kid randomly disappeared one day.

The Observants very clearly outline that this ghost is not Gotham herself, although the tax-evading criminal has been seen having tea with her.

Danny has no desire to deal with this; he just graduated high school and needs to focus on what college he's going to choose, so if Dan or Dani want to throw hands with some weird Gotham Ghost then by all means. Fuck taxes anyways, what did the Zone even take for taxation, what-?

So Danny splits his time college hunting and trying to find out how tax laws work in the Ghost Zone.

Dani goes to the old man first, and Alfred promptly sits her down and gives her cookies and hot chocolate, treats her like the kid she's never been treated like between Vlad and all of the Zone focusing on the Princess thing, and she feels at home for the second time in her half-life.

Dani gets a call from a nervous Observant, and promptly tells him she isn't going back either so nyah.

Dan goes to pick her up, and Alfred asks him if he is quite alright, he looks rather tense, and that if it is a fight he wants then the Justice League could probably use a new member, after all Alfred knows an upstanding young man when he sees one, and clearly Dan just needs a chance to prove to himself that he can be good.

Just like another young man Alfred knows.

Dan gets a call from a nervous Observant, and tells them that he's a little busy stopping an alien invasion, and is a tentative member of the Justice League now so he doesn't have time for their bullshit.

Also fuck taxes.

Finally, Danny has no choice.

He goes to drag this random old man and his little sister back to the Zone himself.

Alfred takes one look at him and slowly slides a flier for Gotham University across the kitchen island.

"Your younger sister speaks well of you," the dead butler says, eyes beaming, "and I believe that, given what she has said, you qualify for one of the Wayne Educational Grants for a full ride, so to speak."

Alfred never gets dragged into the Ghost Zone, although eventually he does learn that they weren't trying to drag him into the Land of the dead but were just trying to get him to do paperwork.

He never goes.

Bruce, however, is very fucking confused as to where these strange kids came from.

To add onto that, misrepresentations of DC and it's spacing. Specifically, Criminal Minds, as much as I like the show, has no clue how far apart things are. Oh? You'll just pop down to Guantanamo? Back in time for coffee? Sweetheart, no.

"I hate how American media will just make up a European nation rather than do any research, so I'm going to get back at them by writing a story set in a fake American state" like, do you have the slightest idea how much American media is set in a geographically impossible fictional small town located in no particular state and characterised entirely by some guy from Los Angeles' collection of half-remembered stereotypes about the American Midwest? They've already got the "lazily inventing fictional parts of America" bit locked down.

No, if you want to play the Uno reverse card on American media, what you need to do isn't to make up a fake state: you specifically need to wilfully misrepresent southern California.

I went into Tim Hortons today. It was crowded and loud and I was overestimulated. I decided I could either have donuts and a panic attack, or no donuts and no panic attack. Maybe I should've taken the panic attack with extra cream cheese, but I didn't.

this is so fucking funny wait

hope is a skill

Reblog to give the person you reblogged this from motivation to work on their WIPs

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST

Smuggle? The only reason Clark would have to smuggle Danny in is if he doesn't want Bats' competition for adoption.

Black hair blue eyes? Strong sense of justice? Extreme willingness to help others even at his own detriment? Batman can try to make that argument, but then Clark points our he has all of those things, plus 'finders keepers'.

Clark would not be punished for helping.

Danny can't recall many fond memories of his childhood, but ones he did remember often included their summer trips to his Aunt Alicia's in the countryside where he and Jazz would play in the woods just outside the Kent family's farm. The Kent's were a wonderful family who took his parents' ghost talks in stride, and they were always kind to him and Jazz. Danny loved when Clark and his wife Lois were in town while they visited. They always had really cool stories on account of them being journalists. And if Danny seemed to notice that Clark tended to treat everything like it was glass, or that he seemed to hear things way better than he should... well, Danny wasn't going to say anything about it.

It was about a year after Danny's accident that the Fenton family made a trip back out to Alicia's. Clark happened to be in town; he heard the Fentons were coming. He'd heard shouting coming from Alicia's, but had initially thought nothing of it. The Fentons were a loud family, always getting into some sort of trouble. Then he heard the sound of their weapons firing; a little weirder, but still normal for Jack and Maddie. And then he heard a cry for help... that's when he found Danny stumbling through their fields, covered in dirt and blood and green, glowing goop. He had a gash in his side that he gripped at in pain, and his eyes burned a toxic green in his determination to get to the farmhouse. He clung to Clark as soon as he was close enough.

"Please help me," he whimpered through ground teeth. "My parents are hunting me, please you have to help me!" Probably a meta, he thought, angry that Jack and Maddie could do something like this to their own son, meta or not. With gentle hands, Clark lifted the child he'd known since he was a baby and got him to the safest place he could think of for medical attention. It was time to smuggle a child into the Batcave.

OR

Clark has known Danny his whole life, and when an identity reveal goes sideways in the countryside, Batman helps Clark adopt Danny.

flip the rock to see what’s under it!

🌾🌷🌾🌷🌾🪨🌾🌷🌾🌷🌾

(make sure you put it back after, don’t want to disturb the wildlife.)

Constantine stared. The summoning had worked... mostly. Well he thought it worked?! There was an appropriate amount of glowing, chanting, unexplained cold and the feeling of magic being drawn in, but he had expected...

"Can I help you?" The person-teenager asked, voice slightly muffled from behind the intricate flaming crown completely obscuring their face. It settled on his shoulders, rather uncomfortable looking in all honesty, and tilted funnily, but was still large enough to obscure the child's(?) face except for a tuft of flowing, fluffy white hair.

"Yeah," Constantine replied after a moment. "We're looking for Phantom, King of the Infinite Realms, Pariah's Bane, Twice Savior of the Infinite Realms, bearer of many titles, etcetera," He chewed on his cigarette and tried to act casual. "We tried summonin' him and got you instead. Know why?"

The kid let out a very long sigh, and slumped over where he hovered, crown tilting precariously on his shoulders. "That's cause I'm me. Phantom. That's me. King of the Infinite Realms, person with too many fucking titles. Who are-," The kid paused where he had tilted the oversized crown up to peer out at the League members gathered around the circle, gave a little yip of surprise and dropped the crown back down in front of his face. "The Justice League," the kid squeaked, "I got summoned by the Justice League. Cool, cool, I am being SO normal about this,"

Constantine got the feeling that the kid, Phantom, (a kid whose crown was too big for his head, who still got starry eyed at heroes when by many accounts he was one) was very much not being as cool as he wanted to be.

DPxDC Prompt where Danny gets ghost king summoned by the JL, but it’s one of those “crown too big for he gotdamn head” situations, and not in a way that looks cool.

It’s just completely obscuring his face, sat on his shoulders with tufts of white hair poking out. 

Danny’s only glad they can’t see him blushing (and that he can hide the damn thing when he’s not actively forced to reveal the artifacts by, say, a fucking summoning).