Hi. I Exist. I Don't Like Existing. Take Me Back To No Bone, No Body, Just Spirit Phase. I Don't Want

I may have poor mental health, but at least I look good

*psst* hey you. Yeah, you. Do you see it? Up there? 👆👆

The invisible egg

I can never leave Tumblr because after years of sporadic therapy utterly failed to even approach the core of my problem some random tumblr user was like “I processed my trauma by writing a 10,000 word work of filthy fanfic erotica” and I was like “fuck it I’ve tried everything else” and now I’m 17 chapters and 20,000 words deep into an unpublishable work of obscenity and after careful literary analysis with one of the Beloved Mutuals I have come to some Terrible Revelations about my childhood and may now continue the process of Healing. Where else am I supposed to get this kind of experience. Who does this. Why are we like this. I’m never leaving. I love y’all.

Just Chuuya getting some gaming in on a fine morning while the coffee brews 👀

this will be the year I finally convince everyone to abandon New Year's resolutions in favour of Yule Boasting, the clearly superior tradition

Damn him too? Guess I gotta reblog

happy komaeda day everyone 🍀

Headcanon Chuuya almost always wants to fight the people he respects.

Just one little match, that's all he wants. A no ability sparring match. Just one.

Okay, that wasn't enough, with abilities this time.

Actually, if they were truly testing their capabilities, neither of them would hold back at all.

Okay, now with stakes.

If this person says yes once, you can bet Chuuya will find an excuse to initiate another match. He knows it's not appropriate to ask certain people to a fight, so he literally sits there buzzing like an excited Chihuahua, trying to contain himself.

The Sheep would play wrestle all the time and that's really where it all started. It was a way to teach the younger members how to defend themselves, but also to blow off steam and settle disputes. Grappling each other, shouting silly wrestling moves and pretending to box each other was just a way of showing affection.

Then he became King of Sheep and the other members didn't want to engage in play matches with him anymore. The enemies he fought were boring most days. Once he learned how to deal with bullets there was no challenge to it.

Then came the mafia and with it people like Kouyou, Iceman and Hirotsu. People who could stand up to him and had things they could teach him. People he admired and sparred with regularly. Verlaine eventually was included in this too.

Fights against people like Rimbaud that made him feel alive because they pushed him so close death.

Chuuya found the joy in fighting again and in standing opposite a person you respect on a mat, anticipating their moves, counteracting with you own, an improvised dance of strength and balance.

Begrudgingly, even Dazai was included in that, on the very rare occasion their arguments got physical. Dazai never beat him in a physical fight, but the fact that he knew him so well meant he could stand his ground when he really wanted to.

When he became an Executive and started training his own subordinates, he found yet another new joy in being the one doing the teaching. The pride in seeing his students grow. Unlike with The Sheep, his underlings here knew how strong he was and still stepped up to spar with him, because they trusted him.

Fighting isn't just a battle to Chuuya. It's communication.

Yes, Idris Elba. I probably should be.

Today is a new day....😈

For the first time in my life, I am wearing a hoodie. Will update.