Kevin Is The Real Villian In Home Alone

The next time someone rudely asks me “so… what are you?” as a way of trying to figure out my race, I’m gonna answer as nervously as possible with “hahah ahah ahaha… human? liKE YOU?” and then walk about 3 feet away from them before stage whispering into my watch “I fear the humans are beginning to catch on. I believe it’s now time to proceed with Plan E.”

please tell me no one beat me to this joke

I wish my friends would take random pictures of me when we hang out because I’m an arrogant prick and I want more pictures of myself that aren’t selfies.

when you’re unsure how many a’s to add to your ‘YAS’

“be the bigger person” no?? im 5"1 and bitter u be the bigger person???

look what you made me do to em

im waiting for the day i can use this as a reaction image and confuse everyone for a good 5-30 seconds before they get it

Back in my day the teachers didn’t have nice laptops, they pulled this shit out and sat it on some unfortunate kids desk 

i swear to gosh theatre kids are the most superstitious people ive ever met someone said the m word at rehearsal today and a girl gasped like she had been shot

The Ultimate Showdown 

2000′s Randomcore Alignment Chart tag urself, im the painful mix of nostalgia and embarrassment