I Saw The Future. There Were So Few Bees Left That They Cross-bred Beekeepers With Them So They Could

Bar scene in horror film

Protagonist: (mentions local urban legend)

Bar band: (stops playing)

Everyone: (goes quiet)

Me, not noticing the silence and continuing loudly in the background: So yeah apparently now it's "unacceptable" to scrub your ballsac in a public bathroom

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I don’t want to be on a drug for the rest of my life! I shouldn’t have to need it!

This is one of the first props I made in high school theater. The script called for a huge catfish with a hidden pouch to pull shit out of. I was 15, had a bunch of chicken wire, a roll of gaff tape, a dream, and no idea what a catfish looks like. Busted this shit out in 30 minutes and named him Steven.

Goat gives it all it’s got

Thanks dungeons and dragons for teaching me how to spell and correctly incorporate Cool Words into my vocabulary such as constitution, proficiency, dexterity, prestidigitation, initiative, and expeditious