Please Stop Normalizing Slapping Nuts, I Just Slapped Mine Very Softly And It Still Hurts

me after eating a large meal: i am never eating again !!

me thirty minutes later:

domestication syndrome is one of the coolest findings from recent genetics

he probably didn’t lie though, I have yet to smoke or do recreational drugs and I’ve only drunk legally

In 2001, my parents bet me that if I did not drink, smoke, or do drugs by 21, they would give me $1500. Here I am on my 21st birthday holding the contract I signed when I was 8.

*takes off my leather jacket to reveal a second, secret leather jacket underneath*

wild animals don’t have “mutuals.” you know what they have? predators and prey. and to me, the blue site is nothing but the serengeti on a hot afternoon

This is possibly the best Parks and Recreation blooper

finished 7 deadly sins so i guess i really am gonna have to start watching naruto now ://

hi No one give a shit about u any more

Hi back!

I think you are being really unfair to the letter u. It is a nice letter, and I would argue an indispensable one. Without u, we wouldn’t have music or justice. U matters! U will always matter.