I Miss The Person I Was Before Squid Game

CLIFFHANGER

He always did what he was told, Bought the only dream that he was sold .

CHAPTER 05 - once you go in, there's no turning back (hwang in ho x reader)

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You sat back on the stairs, catching your breath. The first game shook you so much, you felt your legs weak as you walked back to the dormitory. The room was filled by silence, each player's regret and guilt evident on their faces, traumatized with what happened. You stared into space, contemplating your decisions in joining the games.

The alarm buzzed, the doors opening to reveal the masked guards. This time, they were equipped with guns. On instinct, you hid inside the bed frame, not caring if you felt someone's body at your back. Your eyes fixed on their guns, feeling scared as you trembled a bit. There was no way they could be shooting all of you here.

Instead, the same square-masked guard spoke up. "Congratulations for making it through the first game."

Congratulations? You nearly died in there. Were the lives of people so brittle in this place? 

"Here are the results of the first game," the television displayed the remaining number of players, your eyes widened with the results. "Out of 456 players, 91 players have been eliminated."

You gasped, feeling your body drop at the back. But instead of feeling your body to the ground, someone held you enough for you to not fall. You quickly fixed yourself up, facing the man behind you. "Sorry. Didn't mean to."

He only looked at you coldly and gave you a small nod. You turned around to the TV again, seeing the numbers "365" displayed, meaning it was the total remaining players in this place.

"Congratulations again for making it through the first game," the square-masked guard said. But then, some of the players went down to their knees, brushing their hands together as a form of begging, pleading to not kill them, promising to pay their debts.

You almost did so as you tried to move down, only for the man behind you to hold your arm. You looked at him, shooting him a confused look. "Don't," he said, sounding more like a command. 

You eyed his number, stating it was "001". You tilted your head at him, confused with the sudden concern. You removed your arm from his grip, noticing that he kept staring at you. Not just to your face, but to your eyes, as if studying them. You looked back at him, trying to examine his features. You tilted your head, trying to remember if you've seen him somewhere. To you, he looked similar to In-ho, but older at this time. Your eyes darted away when the guard start to speak again.

"There seems to be a misunderstanding," the square-masked guard said. "We are not trying to harm you. We are presenting you with an opportunity."

An opportunity at the expense of other players' lives? This was blood money. You didn't have a problem with money anyway, and you certainly wouldn't take something that would be at the expense of someone's life. You remembered a specific clause from the consent form, as you spoke up and moved your way down.

"Clause three of the consent form!" You shouted, earning silence from the crowd. "The games may be terminated upon a majority vote. Correct?"

The square-masked guard turn to you. "That is correct."

"Then let us take a vote right now," you heard 456 say, looking at you as he gave you a nod, thanking you in a way for bringing it up. 

"Of course," the guard replied. "We respect your right to freedom of choice." You hear the players sigh in relief, only to be interrupted by the guard again. "But first, let me announce the prize amount that's been accumulated." He clicked on the remote and pointed to the piggy bank, seeing stashes of money dropping inside.

You could see the glow of faces from the other players, as if their worries had gone away. You knew this tactic, pulling out for every player to see the prize money to affect their vote. You were a marketing person - you knew how to sway people with your words, given your extensive background in sales. The players were being manipulated, but there was a truth attached to it.

You pieced it together, realizing that the players who were drowned in debts are given a last chance to survive and win the prize. The system only gave them the opportunity to do so, accounting the fact that their lives were nothing but meaningless with their own decisions. This was a test for humanity, its greed, and how humans had the tendency to do anything just to rise to the top, no matter the consequences.

"The number of players eliminated in the first game is 91. Therefore, a total of 9.1 billion won has been accumulated," the guard explained. "If you quit the games now, the 365 of you can equally divide the 9.1 billion won and leave with your share."

"How much is that?" Player 100 asked.

"Each person's share would be 24,931,500 won."

"Twenty million?" Player 230 asked in disbelief. "You said 45.6 billion!"

You were taken aback, your thoughts clearly being proven by the players. "Greed," you muttered. You felt a movement beside you, seeing Player 001 looking at you as if listening to what you were going to say. "The fact that they were more concerned with the prize money than the lives of people taken away indicates how humanity is about to reach its doom."

You looked up to 001, waiting for a response. Instead, you saw his eyes light up, as if he was agreeing to what you said. You couldn't help but feel your eyes lingered to him more, his features oddly familiar to you as if you've seen them before already. 

"If you wish to continue the games, press the O button. If you wish to end them, press the X button," the guard instructed. You and 001 made your way down the stairs, gathering to the crowd. "The vote will be held in reverse order of your player numbers."

Player 456.

It was the man who guided everyone to safety, well not everyone, but most of everyone who survive. You were shot up by the so-called Shaman player, ignoring her remarks as you watched 456 walk towards the buttons.

The red light shone in front, indicating that he has pressed X. You noticed the guard giving him an X patch, placing it to his tracksuit. You say 456 stare at everyone before walking to the X side.

"Once you finish voting, put the patch you are given on the right side of your chest and stand on the side you have chosen," the guard instructed.

Player 454.

Your heart started to beat fast, hoping she would press the X button. You just wanted to leave this place. You didn't work hard all your life just to die playing children's games.

Just as you thought you got what you wanted, a blue light shone on 454's face, indicating that she pressed the O button. You cursed quietly, your thoughts being proven more by 454 about human greed.

At this point, you closed your eyes, not wanting to see the results. You sat down, trying to not tremble but you were shaking heavily. Never did you expect in your life to be terrified of a button clicking, beeping as each result showed in the TV.

You heard 456 shout again, catching everyone's attention. "Wait a minute, everyone! You can't do this. Come to your senses! Don't you see?" He cried out. "These aren't just any games. We will all die if we keep playing! We have to get out of there now. With a majority vote, we can! We must stop here!"

You breathed a sigh of relief, at least there was one person who were able to contradict your thoughts on human greed. 

"Who do you think you are? Why do you keep egging people on like that?" Player 100 shouted back, disappointment plastered all over your face. Just as you were trying to get your hope back to humanity, there's always one person who ruins everything. "You scared us by saying they'd shoot us before the game even began!"

"That's right!" Another player exclaimed. "He was going on about how we'd die, and I almost did because I got so nervous!"

You scoffed, not believing whatever you were hearing. Sure, it was stressful during the games, but putting the blame on someone else who was just trying to save everyone was a harsh blow.

The thing is, how did 456 know that the place was going to shoot the players down? Could he be one of them? Was he pretending to be a player? If anything, you were the one pretending to be in debt, as if it was your last chance in this life to join the games. 

The banters continued as you start to feel overwhelmed, as if you were about to hyperventilate. You work well under pressure all your life, but we're talking about people's lives being taken from her in just a snap, for simply losing a game. These were the kind of stuff you only watch in movies.

You felt a hand on your shoulder, its thumb touching it in circles as if to comfort. Weirdly enough, you calmed down a bit. You remembered how In-ho would do the same before when your parents used to scold you for going home late, all because you kept on hanging out with the brothers. Or when you would scratch your knee as you ran down the neighborhood, with him holding your shoulders for you to stay still as your eomma aided your wounds. 

You looked to your left, seeing 001 who was doing it to you. He only looked to the front, watching the commotion. You studied him more, his jawline clenched enough to form a sharp line. His hair was brushed down, perfectly neat up nearing his eyebrows. If anything, he looked close to In-ho.

Wait, what?

"I played the games here three years ago!" You heard 456 shout, the frustration evident in his face. "And everyone who was with me... died here."

All of them? You asked to yourself. If he played them before, then he was the winner. That makes him win the prize money. If that's the case, then how come he's back here again? Was the 45.6 billion won not enough?

You looked up to 001, seeing as though he was enjoying the commotion. His posture remained calm, his hand still on your shoulder as his thumb continued to rub into yours in circles. You would've swatted his hand away, but there was something in his touch that seemed comforting, and you didn't want to feel yourself tremble once again.

You noticed a guard approaching 456, pointing the end of the gun at him on his back. "Everyone," the square-masked guard's voice echoed through the room. "From here on, we will not tolerate actions that disrupt the voting process." 456 raised both of his hands in surrender, the guard lowering down his gun. "Now, let's resume the vote."

You felt 001's hand away from your shoulder, as he watched intently to the voting process. As the voting progresses, the chants from each other sides echoed through the room, in attempt to influence the players' voting preference. 

At last, it was your turn. You looked directly at the buttons, averting your gaze from everyone who seemed to watch your every move as you walked. You looked at the scoreboard, your heart beating fast as you see the current results. An almost tie, X being 181, O being 182.

You looked at the buttons in front of you, each waiting for your decision. If you voted for O, the games will likely continue. You could feel the stares from behind you, crawling to your insides. But then, you've already made up your mind.

You were more than ready to leave this hellhole. Your hands hovered to the X button, pressing it as the red light shone to your face, earning a cheer from the X team. The guard handed you the X patch as you placed yours on your tracksuit, walking over the X team side.

X - 182, O - 182

You see 001 walking towards the buttons as you held your breath, hoping for him to press the X button. Cheers of O and X echoed through the room, and you couldn't help but join the chant. You see 001's eyes fixed on the platform as if he knew what to press already. It was now up to his hands the fate of the players. Only one way in or out.

The silence fell from your team as you see the blue light shine on 001's face, the O team rejoicing. 

X - 182, O - 183

001 turned around slowly, looking through the crowd coldly, his eyes almost dark and empty. This time, he looked more than similar to the boy you knew years ago before you parted, seeing his eyes stare at yours.

"No," you shook your head in disbelief, almost hyperventilating. This couldn't be.

In-ho.

This couldn't be In-ho. He would never put himself in a position to do so. He always did the right thing, seeing the goodness in others before himself. He would never be so greedy to win blood money, when he decided to serve and protect the people of Seoul. 

Yet his look was more than enough to send shivers down your spine, bringing you back to how he held your shoulders earlier, one that In-ho always did, and only ever did.

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A/N: I hope you like how I added some of the reader's thoughts. I wanted to bring Sangwoo's personality to the reader, who seemed to analyze their choices first that gives them an advantage throughout this series. ✨ Feel free to leave out your thoughts here, and I'll gladly interact with each and everyone of you. 🫶

Don't forget to leave a comment in this post to be tagged on the next chapter! ✨

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▪legend ▪

Metal Gear Solid 5 Pixel Gifs

Look at this beautiful man

with the baby crying at the end of the teaser i just know in-ho saw jun-hee giving birth and is longing for his unborn child

watch my heart brOOOOOKE

The man we all want to be.