Me Responding To This Post Getting Over A Hundred Notes Despite Being Some Bullshit I Made On The Bus:

Harley: F*ck Flash, he’s being a dick, I’m gonna steal his car.

Peter: you can’t do that! it’s illegal! You shouldn’t do anything that’s illegal, it’s wrong!

Harley: Why are you acting so high and mighty? you’re a vigilante, that’s illegal too.

Peter: It’s only illegal when you get caught. And unlike you, I don’t get caught.

Teacher: I think it’s a reasonable assumption that none of you have ever been shot.

Peter: Umm...

Teacher: Apparently I was wrong. Peter, what the fuck?

Peter: Hehe. Funny story. *jumps out the window*

Ned: Pfft- He’s out of here

Teacher: Do you know how he got shot?

Ned: Uh... *nyooms out the door*

loki: today is a quiet day

loki: very quiet *looks at thor who's sleeping peacefully*

loki: i don't like quiet *pulls out daggers*

loki: *stabs thor*

thor: loKIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

loki: ahh no more quiet, i like it

Reacting to a kidnapping attempt part 3:

Guardians of the Galaxy edition

Quill

Gamora

Drax

Rocket

Mantis

Groot

Nebula

Everyone proceeds to look at him weird

Peter: My parents died when I was a child, I watched my Uncle get shot and everyday’s despair when I go out at night

Flash: Penis, what the fuck?!

Peter: You’ll know what I’m talking about soon enough

Also Peter as Spider-Man at a press conference: I promised my class I would explain a comment I made after being told to write about our happiest childhood memory. So here it is. *takes mask off*

Mr Harrington: today's activity is easy! Just write about your happiest childhood memory!

Peter: my what now

Loki: Mental illnesses are like Pokémon cards.

Thor: In what way?

Loki: I collect them for fun.

Tony: Hey lokes, what ya doing?

Loki: Just some light research on genetic’s.

Loki: I’m going to eliminate all the cancers.

Tony: Oh wow. That’s impressive-..

Loki: Then the Virgo’s.

Tony:...

Avengers play Cards Against Humanity

Black Card: _____ that's how I want to die

Tony: Alcoholism

Steve: Doing the right thing

Peter: Vigilante justice

Natasha: Pretending to be one of the guys but actually being the spider god

Bruce: Science

Clint: The biggest blackest dick

Thor: Powerful thighs

Harley: Poor life choices

Scott: A fully dressed female video game character

Shuri: The entire internet

Hope: Multiple stab wounds

Bucky: The Great Depression

Sam: A perfectly cylindrical vagina

T'challa: Depression

Pepper: Dying

Rhodey: Being black

Wanda: Being a motherfucking sorcerer

Loki as Czar: '...Being a motherfucking sorcerer, that's how I want to die.'... Preach.

Reblog if you're not homophobic

Every url that reblog’s will be written in a book and shown to my homophobic dad. 

Oof