It Was A Cool And Breezy Evening. Just The Kind Of Weather You Hope For Picnics But Never Get. “I Am
It was a cool and breezy evening. Just the kind of weather you hope for picnics but never get. “I am going out on a walk”, I declared, springing up with an unanticipated swiftness from the depths of an easy chair where I had been perusing ‘The picture of Dorian gray’. “Where to ?” He casually questioned me. A mischievous smile crept over my face, “To rediscover a path to fairyland” I said. “Do you wish to join me?”
A quizzical look came over his face, yet in the depths of those dark eyes I noticed a spark of recognition. He silently closed his absurdly large volume of ‘the history of great poets’ and reached for his hat, “Oh,never mind hats!” I exclaimed, “The elves don’t care for your exaggerated accessories”. Still he remained mute, acquiescing to my impulsive demand. “Where is this forgotten path you speak of ?” was the first enquiry made, after rambling on for the better part of an hour. I, who had drifted off to a remote and inaccessible part of my imagination, was jerked backed to earth by this and answered, “Just a little while away. Strange, how time can diminish your sense of distance in such a fashion”. He knit his brows together in agreement and put his hands in his pockets. We wandered on, passing old fields whose sight brought a rush of nostalgia for the days of the past, when worries were few and sorrow unheard of. I stopped at a creek, christened ‘Troll falls‘ by some old phantoms, as familiar to me as myself. Standing there in hope of meeting them again, I fancied that I could see a sharp glistening of wings behind the rocks. Wondering if my quest had so easily come to an end, I tried to peer over the broad stone to see if I could coax them to grace me with a full vision. While engaged in this manner, I lost my footing on the slippery moss and would have fallen into the creek head first if he hadn’t happened to get hold of my sash and pull me back.
“Thank-you”, I said.
“What on earth were you leaning so far into the stream for?”
“I thought I saw some of the fair folk behind that ridge”
So far he had been relatively calm, but at the mention of the fair folk, his face morphed into a strange expression. “The fairy folk you speak of don’t really exist. You know that, don’t you?”. I was rather taken aback by this sudden statement and scanned my surroundings quickly to make sure that we were alone. The fair folk a myth!
“Why do you look at me like that? Your eyes are fixed upon my countenance, what do you try to read there?”
“No”, I slowly said, “I was wondering.”
“About what?”
“If you had lost the way to fairyland and forgotten it.”
He frowned.
“There are two kinds of people who don’t recognise fairyland when they see it” I continued, after a slight pause. “The ones who never knew it, the souls who belong to the world in every sense of the word. And there is another kind, the people who knew the faerie place at one point in time, when their soul was untainted by the crudeness of the world, their vision not stained with its ugliness. When their spirit had not been crushed by the repeated injustice and unfairness which is a part of every creature’s portion in life. When you are born, the goblins tie the key to your land on heaven onto an invisible string around your neck, you never realise what it means to you until one day the string breaks, and you have to search for the key. When at last you find it, you stow it away in the stack where you keep your most prized possessions. It slowly starts to rust over the years, and there will come a time when you are left with only a few indented pieces of rusted iron in your hands. Some vainly try to restore it. Some become resigned to the fact that the door is henceforth barred to them. A very few understand that the door would still open, even without the key, for the true power to open it lies in their hearts, and it mattered little if the key was iron or stone. For what faery land truly represents is the wisdom of humanity. The ability to dream without restraint, decipher the truth which lies below vain frills of delusion. I was wondering, if you were one of those who disguised their despair under resignation and had gradually become so ingrained in the world’s ways, that they retained no memory of what is pure and true.”
All this while he was standing with his face turned from me, but I could see he was getting caught up in my rambling.
“If so, you needn’t turn away, the gnomes never forget their playmates. And here is a damned circle of toadstools in the grass, will you step in, knowing that for each minute in it a year passes? Will you leave everything you know and join their dance, for eternity?”
“See the world melt around you,” I went on, losing track of what I was uttering as I gazed at the horizon. “your fine distinctions between the real and false disappear, you find yourself surrounded and entrapped by ghosts, spirits and animated phantoms. And before long, you will find that you are one of them”. At this he shuddered, yet not a word left him.
I was silent for a while, faintly aware of the glow of the sunset sky and the sound of crickets chirping.
A few minutes or eons later, the sound of the old bell at the townhouse reminded me that it was past seven, and it was time to head homeward. As we passed the elm tree, he stopped and looked up at the sky, and so did I. Bellatrix of the Orion, my favourite star, shone especially brightly that night. I stared at the constellations, remembering an old poem from somewhere,
“ They say nothing is wasted,
either that,
or it all is. “
And so ended the affair of the evening stroll.
More Posts from Lacexleaves and Others
Sigh, anyways no one can deny Calvin and Hobbes is the best Sunday strip comic.
Some people never observe anything. Life just happens to them. They get by on little more than a kind of dumb persistence, and they resist with anger and resentment anything that might lift them out of that false serenity.
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the song of achilles, madeline miller // 1 samuel 18:1, kjv translation of the bible // wuthering heights, emily brontë // memory, @aristosmusical // sonnet xvii, pablo neruda // [i carry your heart with me(i carry it in], e.e. cummings // “the origin of love”, hedwig and the angry inch // star trek iii: the search for spock, dir. leonard nimoy
“Dreams of a furnace, the warmth of the ember flickering upon the brick wall covered in the scrawls of innocent childhood, heavy clouds spread over the evening fading away into twilight, the eternal impermanence of the gently touching darkness and light surrounded the townhouse, awaiting the shrill shattering of the heart - held together and wrenched apart - by the forsaken ties of lost loves. will not a shard of glass pierce the trembling heart and end its agony, once and for all? And in the indifference of the glowering sky laid the ruin of kingdoms gone and kingdoms to come. The nymphs of wind care not about your sorrow, the angel of death and the moon kissed and parted last before the beginning of eternity. Run vainly to language and lay your wasted hands and tear stained face upon her breast, and spare nature her indifference.”
thinking about how orpheus turning to look back at eurydice isn’t a sign of mortal frailness but a sign of love
have you ever had a friend, like as in a normal friendship? ever?
October is my empire. Terror is part of me. 一 Tamura Ryūichi
1. Alfonsina Storni, 2. Cy Twombly, 3. William Stanley Merwin, 4. Cy Twombly, 5. Virginia Woolf, 6. Jorge Albericio, 7. Gala Mukomolova, 8. Andrei Tarkovsky, 9. Czesław Miłosz, 10. Andrei Tarkovsky, 11. Thomas Wolfe, 12. Andrei Tarkovsky, 13. Louise Glück
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there is something so beautiful about hearing people speak in their first language, their mother tongue. it’s as if you’re hearing them truly speak for the first time and suddenly you see rolling fields, cliffs and mountains, wind running through a forest. every day i wish that i could understand every language of the universe so that it can be more than music to my ears.
A fond insect hovering around your shoulder. I like Kafka, in case you're wondering.
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