Ukraine, 26th Feb, 2022

A friend of mine told me yesterday that he didn’t realise how much Ukraine meant to him until now. I posted yesterday about the time we spent there, and we’re all getting super pre-occupied about the invasion. As I said in that post, I can’t get our waitress out of my head. I can sort of remember what she looked like now. She had an undercut. I think maybe her hair might have been blue? But - I will never know if she lives through this, and it’s driving me very slightly mad.

So naturally, my husband spent all day yesterday obsessively researching everything he could about it with the help of his journalist friends, as a way to help me process it.

This post is me putting it all in order, as a way to try and process my own emotional response as much as anything else (I freely admit there is an element of self-indulgence here). Please don’t take me as the spokesperson for Ukraine right now, nor as a solid reliable news source. But, I haven’t seen this stuff except in bits and pieces on Tumblr, so here we go.

(This is also not about why the invasion has happened. This post is solely about what has happened, and how the invasion is going.)

So, Putin and the rest of the world believed that this invasion would take 1-4 days. The plan was to push through fast, take Kyiv, and force Volodymyr Zelenskyy, the Ukrainian President, to surrender. Given Russia’s military might, it really looked likely.

Here is the conclusion of all that’s happened so far:

Ukraine is absolutely nailing this??? Actually???

They managed to defend every single city overnight, including Kyiv. They started rolling out and using these WW2-style anti-tank thingies that look a bit like angry gabbions, look, here’s a picture of one being delivered:

A man in high vis stands on the back of a flat bed truck, wrapping chains around a piece of anti-tank equipment. It seems to be multiple iron girders welded together into a many-limbed star, and is almost as tall as the man.

A bunch of spare iron girders turned into a hefty octopus of Russian misery, basically.

But it’s not just tanks they’re taking down, oh no. Ukraine successfully shot down a transport plane 20km from Kyiv. That is, I shit you not, the single biggest hit to the Russian military since the Second Chechen War. Volunteers from Lithuania, Poland, Latvia, Estonia, Azerbaijan and Israel are all entering Ukraine to help fight and bolster the anti-Russian forces, which is probably illustrative of how Eurovision voting is going to run for the next decade. Most countries have banned Russian planes from their air space. To help stop the Russian advance, Ukraine has made and installed new road signs, like this one:

A big road sign at an intersection, the type that gives directions for straight on, left and right. The text is in Ukrainian.

I can only say a handful of sentences in Ukrainian, Tumblrs, but as I understand it, from top to bottom, it says:

“Fuck off”

“Fuck off again”

“Fuck off Russia”

Meanwhile, it turns out the Russian military might we feared is… possibly not quite as advertised?

They’re underfunded and badly trained. Ukraine captured 200 soldiers in one go, and most of them were confused 19 year olds with no training. The equipment is shite. The tanks keep running out of fuel. Russian soldiers keep abandoning their tanks and handing them over to the Ukrainian army. Putin’s plan was to take Kyiv fast and move on, and he didn’t have a plan B - hence these kids, playing soldier. Here is an image of a Russian tank receiving roadside assistance from Russia’s finest, an old Lada.

A broken down tank at the side of the road. In front of it sits an old Lada - an eastern European car covered in mud and dust, with a little trailer attached.

No one expected Zelenskyy to survive the night; but he did. America offered him asylum in the White House.

But he said no.

Zelenskyy remains in Kyiv, with his people.

And Putin, in his desperation to be adored, has turned Zelenskyy into a global icon and hero.

Here is something you may not know about Volodymyr Zelenskyy - he used to be a standup comedian. Was he any good? No idea - but what he IS good at is producing funny short videos he can put on Twitter and that, which are absolutely fantastic for Ukrainian morale. And morale is vital in an invasion like this, and Ukraine are smashing it out of the park there.

They are utilising the internet to its fullest extent. In addition to Zelenskyy’s videos, they’ve made sure that the final words of the Ukrainian defenders of Snake Island are known and now echoed around the world: “Russian warship, go fuck yourselves.” A video has gone viral of Ukrainians mocking a group of Russian soldiers whose tank had broken down and who didn’t know the way to Kyiv anyway, presumably because of all the new road signs. They have created a website that lists every single Russian death they can identify, partly so Russian mothers can have closure (thus also painting themselves as the defenders of decency and humanity), and partly for the enormous morale boost of the world knowing, categorically, that they’ve already killed 3700 Russian soldiers (over 100 of which were from that transport plane.) Not one word has leaked of Ukrainian casualties. I’m sure they’re devastating, but for morale purposes, they’re being kept quiet until the dust settles. Ukrainians have started setting up fake Tindr profiles to catfish Russian soldiers for intel, and they’re all 19 and lost, so it’s working. Plus, they’re using Grindr to actually track where the soldiers are, because it turns out Putin was not entirely correct about there being no gays in Russia.

So, Russia wants to cut their internet access. Can the Ukrainian Minister for Digital Transformation, Mykhailo Fedorov, shame a billionaire into providing aid?

Tweet reads: @elonmusk, while you try to colonize Mars - Russia try to occupy Ukraine! While your rockets successfully land from space - Russian rockets attack Ukrainian civil people! We ask you to provide Ukraine with Starlink stations and to address sane Russians to stand.

This is crucial, remember. Atrocities happen best in the dark, and the world is watching - because of the internet. Morale is vital to maintain. Can they convince Elon Musk to help?

Elon Musk's tweet reads: Starlink service is now active in Ukraine. More terminals en route.

Yep.

Ukraine now has the fastest internet service in the world. The fastest, most stable internet service in human history, in fact. Russia cannot now disable it. The world watches.

Which is just as well, because then Anonymous decided to get involved, and have leaked the website database of the Russian Ministry of Defence. Lol. Also this happens:

Headline: Kremlin website goes down as Russian TV channels hacked to play Ukrainian songs. Sub heading: Hacking collective Anonymous announced it was 'at war with Russia' hours before the outage

And then the Russian propaganda channels started broadcasting the truth of what is happening in Ukraine. Double lol.

So what is the political response?

Well, in addition to closing airspace to Russian planes, loads of countries are sending weapons to Ukraine. Those that can’t are offering asylum. They’re also offering asylum to any Russian soldiers who surrender or defect, which is startlingly good tactics, and there are rumours of around 5000 Russian soldiers who have done just that. Germany, of course, has long had a block on lethal weapons transfer; but Germany recognise this shit for what it is. They’ve lifted the block, thus allowing the Netherlands to send weapons. Efforts are now underway to fast-track Ukraine into the EU. I presume they will consider the lack of pint glasses with crowns on to be a worthwhile price to pay.

So what about Russia’s supporters?

Belarusian leader Alexander Lukashenka helped Russia with this invasion. Now, this has happened:

Tweet from Sviatlana Tsikhanouskaya reads: Lukashenka committed treason - he made our country a participant in the invasion of Ukraine. So I declared myself as the national leader of Belarus to protect the sovereignty & independence of our country, represent it in security negotiations & crisis management in the region

Sviatlana Tsikhanouskaya was actually elected president, but some wild nonsense kept her out of power. She’s now running a government in exile. I have literally no idea what this means or will mean! But my god. She has a spine of steel, and this is not a good time to be happening for Putin.

And it’s really, really not, because then intel on a meeting of Putin and assembled Oligarchs LEAKS (hello Anonymous, probably). The highlights:

This war is costing Russia $15bn a day

He expected it to take ONE TO FOUR DAYS TO WIN

It’s been two days and he is losing very badly, currently

They will run out of rockets by day 4, maybe sooner

After that they will be down to rifles and ammo

It will take 3-4 months to make more significant weapons, except they need raw materials, and the countries that can provide them… have cut supply lines

If the war lasts 10 days, Russia will have completely run out of money and weapons

It’s only day 2, and Russian soldiers are knocking the doors of random Ukrainian homes begging for food and water because they’ve already run out

So, out of desperation, Putin turns to his greatest, closest and most trusted ally for help: Kazakhstan.

And Kazakhstan

SAYS NO

And then Ukraine shoots down a second Russian plane.

Anyway, I’m going to finish off with a final point. Morale is vital in this situation, so here is the message from the Ukrainian government at the minute, to everyone watching around the world:

Be VERY SUSPICIOUS of any negative news about Ukraine. Russia uses misinformation and propaganda. They will want to damage Ukrainian morale.

Use your social media to spread news of Ukrainian victories.

Don’t give oxygen to negative stories. Especially since they might not be true.

That’s genuinely something we can do to help. Every victory of Ukraine, blast it far and wide. So on that note, I’ll leave you with this:

Tweet from @NataliaAntonova: Kyiv is under attack. Meanwhile, my cousin's son managed to score the number of a cute girl in the neighborhood bomb shelter. Sums up our family very well. Glory to Ukraine.

Congrats to Natalia Antonova’s cousin’s son.

𝘪 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘮𝘺 𝘱𝘦𝘯 (𝘪 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦) | 𝘦𝘥𝘥𝘪𝘦 𝘮𝘶𝘯𝘴𝘰𝘯 𝘹 𝘣𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘬!𝘧𝘦𝘮!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

summary | eddie munson, lead singer of corroded coffins, is reading thirst tweets with buzzfeed and the last one, the most vulgar and detailed one, has a username that looks a little familiar.

pairing | eddie munson x black!fem!reader

wc | 1,650

warnings | modern!eddie, thirst tweets, banter, references to sex: free use, face fucking, unprotected sex, creampies, cervix-fucking.

a/n | i’ve had shitty writer’s block, but i saw aubrey plaza’s thirst tweets + remembered folake aina’s apology to skepta, so now we have this :) not beta read.

[ 18+ | minors, blank, ageless blogs: do not interact ]

–

“Okay, so I know the format has been explained to you multiple times, but I’m just going to review it once more and then we’ll get you started,” Eddie gave the thumbs up and the director continued. “So you’ll be reading some tweets we have lined up for you. The first few will be pretty tame and then it gets a bit more “thirsty” as you can guess. If you read one and you start to get uncomfortable, feel free to stop, okay?”

Eddie smiles, “Do your worst.”

“Good!”

The cameraman counts him down and Eddie grins.

“Hey there, I’m Eddie Munson, lead singer and guitar player for Corroded Coffin, and today I will be reading your thirst tweets,” Eddie laughs and sets up the phone they have with the tweets lined up. “I’m hoping for some real metal shit, so let’s go.”

He takes a quick breath and reads the first tweet they have written.

Eddie Munson is a gift from God.

“Thank you, while I think there are many people who would disagree with you, I like that line of thinking. I think I’m a gift from Ozzy, maybe? Y’know, like the music gods.”

need to know eddie munson’s shampoo and conditioner. immediately. purely for “research” purposes

Tilting his head back, Eddie chuckles when he looks into the camera. “Yeah, you sound like you’ve got the best intentions. I’m not sure actually, it’s whatever my girlfriend buys and puts in her shower. I trust her judgment, she has good taste apparently.”

In desperate need of the lead singer from Corroded Coffin to break his guitar over my head multiple times.

This one elicits a large guffaw out of him, “Holy shit. I love my guitar so much, I don’t think I’d be able to do that. Maybe with, like, an acoustic though, something that’s not my favorite guitar. But that sounds cool, sounds like a fun night out.”

just came back from corroded coffin’s show. i would let eddie munson back his tour bus over my body multiple times a day.

“I’m actually not allowed to drive the tour bus anymore. I’m banned, forbidden, prohibited, all that great stuff. One little accident, barely a scratch, and suddenly I’m an outlaw,” Eddie shakes his head in disbelief. “But I was completely sober! Driving drunk is not metal, as my girlfriend would say, it’s only something a half witted, selfish, asshole would do."

This earns him a few chuckles and claps from the camera and sound crew before he moves on to the next tweet.

As the director explained, the next few tweets get raunchier in nature. They now request that Eddie use and abuse various parts of their bodies, or even offer parts of their bodies for his pleasure. But by the time they near the end he’s laughing too hard and needs a glass of water.

“I’m not sure if you need two kidneys to live, but I think you’re worth more to me alive than dead. But selling your organs on the black market is pretty fucking cool, if you ask me.”

i will offer any hole eddie munson wants or desires. i am nothing but a set of willing holes for him. please take me up on this offer.

He’s cackling now, trying to swallow the water and catch his breath. “I appreciate the enthusiastic offer, and the free use implications, fans like you are why we do what we do.”

The director breaks up the laughter, by speaking to Eddie. “The last tweet is a bit long, and has two parts.” Eddie nods his understanding and clears his throat to read.

Below the tweet is a picture of Eddie on stage, shirt open, guitar perched right over his crotch, hair drenched in sweat.

eddie munson. please, just 10 minutes of ur time, i would suck u dry. i would require reconstructive throat surgery from my actions. i would hold my ankles while u touch my cervix because momma didn’t raise a quitter. i could take u totally raw, no lube, no condom, just me taking u deep like i was born to.

“Fucking Ozzy.”

The next tweet is a picture of text from the Notes app.

I would like to sincerely apologize for my actions last night. What I wrote in the heat of the moment was extremely inappropriate and was not the image that I would like to cast of myself online or in person. I truly hope that my prior moment of weakness does not sully my honest, innocent image. I should’ve known better. I used my Bachelor’s degree for evil, not for good, and for that, I am sorry. To everyone who had to read and witness that, I cannot express greater regret. And to Eddie Munson, the subject of my previous tweet, I am hoping that you will be open to receiving your apology in private.

“What the fuck?” Tears well up in Eddie’s eyes as he laughs. “This is what I meant when I said I wanted something metal.” His eyes scan over the tweet and he locks in on the user name, shaking his head when he realizes that he recognizes it. He’s not sure if it’s on purpose, but he keeps the information to himself.

“Fuck,” He cackles. “No lube, no condom? Holy shit. This person means it, fuck, I mean reconstructive throat surgery. How are they taking me so–” he cuts himself off to giggle. “That they need surgery? Born to do this? Where did you guys find this tweet?”

–

You toss off your white coat, making sure your stethoscope is still tucked neatly in its carrying case. When you move into the kitchen you find your boyfriend leaning against the counter, eating takeout from the container.

“Hey baby,” pressing a quick kiss on to his lips, you swipe a noodle from his chopsticks. “How was it today? I know you were doing some press, Buzzfeed right?”

Eddie nods, swallowing his mouthful before grinning at you. “Yeah, interviews, thirst tweets, you’ve seen them.”

“Yeah! They always get some of the weirdest tweets on there,” you chuckle. Reaching into the bag, you grab a set of chopsticks and open the second takeout container. “Read anything good?”

He does his best to contain his smile as he swallows another mouthful of food. “The usual, y’know? Kidneys, bussy, and semi trucks.” Shoveling food into your mouth, you confirm your understanding, but Eddie doesn’t stop there. “The last one was pretty interesting though. Like this person put time, thought, and detail into writing this tweet. The entire set was laughing.”

You look up with interest, “Oh really? What’d it say?”

“Just how they would only need ten minutes with me, reconstructive throat surgery, cervix-fucking, raw sex. Any of that sound familiar?” You freeze in your spot, shutting your eyes as you try to ignore your boyfriend’s words. “They even issued an apology afterwards, but they left the tweet up, which I thought was funny.”

Words were locked in your throat as you pretend to be wholly interested in your lo mein.

“Sound familiar?”

“Not at all!” you lie, setting your container on the counter. “Well, I’m going to go shower.”

You hoped that Eddie wouldn’t follow you in the bedroom, but you know better than that.

“Written by munsonsslutlife…that username doesn’t sound at all familiar to you?” You continue undressing as he speaks, attempting to block out his words. “I think I’ve heard it before. I remembered you showing me–”

You whip around, half naked and frantic as you look at your boyfriend. It has only been about 7 months into your relationship and you didn’t want to freak Eddie out with how much he consumed your thoughts before you even spoke to him.

“It was before I met you! It was from a spam account, and it was like over a year ago and I didn’t want to be weird and seem like some obsessed, sex-crazed fan or something,” you explain, eyes everywhere but on your boyfriend.

A beat of silence passes before Eddie shuffles over to you. He cups your cheeks, pulling your face up towards his while he leans into you.

“Why, baby?” he murmurs, breath puffing against your lips. “You didn’t want to be my little groupie bitch?”

You stiffen in his arms, cheeks warming up at the filth falling from his lips, you try to hide away like you normally do, but his grip on your face hampers that. “You talk big shit on that account baby. Wanted me deep in your cunt, wanted my cock fucking up into while you hold your ankles because what? Your mom didn’t raise a quitter. C’mon baby, you said you’d take me raw. No condom, no lube. What happened to all of that?”

Heat gathers up in your palms and settles in your stomach as you take in Eddie’s heated look. So far, mostly at your request, the sex has been vanilla. Not at all bad, just very tame. Not like what Eddie was used to, but he made no complaint. Unbeknownst to him, it’s not like what you were used to either.

“Played innocent with me this whole time, but that’s not you, is it?” Eddie smiles, shaking your head in his palms. “You’re fucking dirty. The whole fucking world knew you were born to take my dick and you couldn’t even tell me? I’m so hurt,” he’s fake pouting at the end, but your gut still twists at his words.

“Eddie,” you start, reaching up to touch his chest. “I’m sorry.”

He tsks lightly, pecking your lips before he goes back to sit on your bed.

“Lucky for you baby,” Eddie spreads his legs and leans back against his palms. His bulge is large and prominent in his jeans and you feel your mouth watering a little at the sight of it. “I’m open to receiving my apology in private.”

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kylie-sheradine

3 years ago

This too shall pass (x)

51K notes View Post

kylie-sheradine

3 years ago

three important things to remember right now:

1. do not share ANY information about the place, the state, and the members of Ukrainian army. don't like it, don't reblog it, don't even write about it.

2. if you want to get information, do not look for carrds or twt threads. turn on your tv, read a newspaper, look for journalists and officials. do not trust random internet users and do not spread the disinformation and propaganda that is already circulating around here. double check every account you see talking about what's happening before deciding to share it further.

3. listen to Ukrainians.

46K notes View Post

kylie-sheradine

2 years ago

I Am Begging You All To Stop Treating This Site Like Instagram If You Dont Want It To Be Content Free

i am begging you all to stop treating this site like instagram if you dont want it to be content free by next year

164K notes View Post

kylie-sheradine

3 years ago

For anyone that needs to be reminded 💕

I feel some may need to hear this as much as I do.

My old account is terminated 😔💔

🇵🇸 we are family lost their home, dreams and job in Gaza💔

We have been through many wars before, but this war was not like the ones before it. Our lives were turned upside down. We became displaced from one place to another. We are the Anas family, residents of northern Gaza, specifically in the Shujaiya area. In the first week of the war, we fled our home because everyone considered our home to be in a dangerous area. We moved to the Rimal area, specifically in the middle of Gaza. There, we received the news that our home, which contained all our beautiful memories, was bombed. Suddenly, it was gone!!! Just thinking that your home, which you worked hard on and built from scratch and took a lot of your life, was gone in less than a second 💔! After a while, we left the sands to the Al-Zawaida area because of the heavy shelling. We stayed there for about two weeks, and then the terrorist army asked us to go to Rafah. We actually fled for the fourth time to Rafah and stayed there for two months, some of the most difficult days of our lives, as there was no way or means to live a normal life. 😔😔 After that, because of the invasion of Rafah, we moved to Deir al-Balah. Now, we are in very difficult and oppressive circumstances.