FKVJJVKV DESIGNER CEO JAY X MODEL 😫

PARK JONGSEONG — TOUCH ME, FEEL ME.

— “come here and put it on my face, it’s like you know how good you taste.”

PAIRING: ceo!jay x model fem!reader (+17)

FEATURING… jaeyun, sunghoon & sunoo (enhypen), ningning (aespa), yeonjun (txt), nicholas (&team).

WARNINGS: my third attempt at slight fluff, reader obv works in the modelling industry, making out, oral (f & m), lots of kissing and make out sessions, usage of toys, jay is in love (sickeningly), soft dom jay !! (I can’t remember anymore pls tell me if I missed any)

WORD COUNT. 15.6k (HUH)

SYNOPSIS: a sneak peak into the life of Seoul’s most popular CEO along with the top model of the country.

៹ — A,NOTE. this is unfortunately NOT PROOFREAD / EDITED entirely, some sections are while some aren’t so pls pls ignore all grammatical errors / typos made as im finishing this off at 6 am without sleep and will be fixing it up tmrw <3

— this one’s directed to my dearest hana for being there at 4 am to simp over jay (& hee but shhh) together + all my tall engenes bcs i hear u, i see u and i feel u baby. (and all my jay girlies too)

Park jongseong is a very busy man.

Presenting himself as a busy, workaholic and paperwork obsessed man was considered the norm in his building. The unhealthy attachment jongseong had to his office— specifically to his desk was one that raised eyebrows at South Korea’s most popular Chief Executive Officer.

The Park Corp. that his father generously built a stable foundation for back when he was still a young adult navigating his way through the business industry was now passed down to his trusted son in hopes of extending their empire all over the continent.

Hence the reason as to why the phrase “Park Jongseong was destined for success” rang throughout the young ceo’s ears within every vicinity his feet graced, yet jongseong couldn’t completely wrap his head around his ‘success’

In his younger years, he believed the life of luxury and success that he lived was considered normal. That was until he pursued a degree outside of his birth country and had to settle in a small apartment— taking care of his own self without the help of any maids that he had grown accustomed to back at home.

Jongseong could still remember his father’s constant pestering to change his mind, his father could’ve bought him the university he was studying at yet jongseong insisted on an average, one bedroom apartment in a semi-safe neighbourhood for his education by using the excuse of building up his experience.

Easily, his university years became his favourite. He was allowed his first taste of the average life, the normal one. where he was given the privilege to form friendships and bonds with people whom didn’t beg for his attention while staring directly into his pockets. The first taste of his own cooked meals when he got severely sick after a random takeout from a sketchy restaurant.

His first ever friend group flourished in front of his eyes without disappearing after a few months. His two bestfriends— Park Sunghoon along with Sim Jaeyun effortlessly altered his whole point of view on life, with unexpected rendezvous to grocery stores past midnight, random road trips after finishing their mind numbing exams, unexpected deep conversations about life that took place on the floor of jongseong’s apartment and the look of genuine care and affection in sunghoon and jaeyun’s eyes, jongseong felt normalcy.

He felt protected, he felt loved. Sure he was born to very caring parents, yet at his young age, he easily was able to tell the importance of work to his father when he would randomly disappear for weeks without any warning— leading jongseong to call him usually on the fourth day of his absence to ask when he was intending on returning.

“I can’t return yet son, our next meeting with The Kim’s company is scheduled in a week.” Or some other company meeting that was considered more important than jongseong’s own need of his presence in his life by miles.

He understood his father’s side perfectly now that he was placed in his exact position, the importance of work, meetings and the worry of the small voice in the back of his head grumbling about the possibility of failure and losing decades worth of his, his father’s and his grandfather’s hard work.

Yet with the headache that was splitting his head into two separate halves the longer he stared at his papers— the sight of the letters turning into gibberish along with his wrist’s automatic turn to land his signature on the papers, he couldn’t help but think ‘was it that hard?’ surely his father could have returned back for a few hours to watch his son shape himself into the man he grew to be— to comfort him during the days where he would have difficulty at school or problems with his friend, to see him accept his diploma.

Well, his father couldn’t. While his mother on the other hand decided to surprise her son after claiming that she had to join his father on a business trip when she stood up in the middle of the crowd to clap proudly when he went atop the stage, resulting in a bewildered and shocked jongseong to shake hands with his principal who was aggressively slapping his back while jongseong was staring in disbelief into his mother’s tear filled eyes with his own misty ones.

It was safe to say that jongseong had always had a healthier relationship with his mother than his father, it was thanks to her brilliant idea to open up the first branch dedicated to fashion under The Park Corp. that jongseong’s entire life changed.

Jongseong’s mother sacrificed years of her work to raise him to the best of her ability while his dad was working day and night to hopefully see his company see the light of success, during those years his mother was the first and only person to know and acknowledge jongseong’s passion for fashion designing.

The memory of his mother praising a doodle of a dress that he had made when his age was still in singular digits was imprinted in his mind, from her approval of the colour he chose to pointing out almost unnoticeable mistakes with certain parts of the ruffles along the shoulders— his mother shaped his fashion designing skills as he improved tremendously, a fire lighting up in his heart for designing pure art.

Though this new branch under his company meant more excessive work, more sleepless nights and less breaks. Jongseong made the decision to pull one of his joker cards that he was blessed with— Sim Jaeyun.

Assigning Jaeyun as the head of the branch was undoubtedly one of the best decisions he had made, the sight of jaeyun’s shocked eyes gazing at his own serious ones as he proposed the idea to his best friend was one that he will always remember vividly,

“Are you serious?” Jaeyun breathed out, his stare so intense on jongseong’s as he tried to unravel every and each layer of his expression in search of one tinge that would confirm his suspicions of this whole proposal being an entire joke, yet he spotted none.

when the burst of laughter from jongseong never arrived, fully leaving no room for jokes while the unexpected silence from Jaeyun was beginning to concern jongseong— Jaeyun threw himself into jongseong’s arms in complete relief and appreciation.

And at jaeyun’s shaky whisper of “Thank you so much.” Into his ear, jongseong knew he made a great decision.

His love for this decision only increased day by day as his assistant was now showing him photos of the newly casted models that jaeyun had signed, some models had already contacted the agency while others were radio silent, jongseong was paying attention to every word coming out of his assistant’s mouth till his finger swiped to a picture of a girl outside of a cafe,

“Who’s this?” Jongseong questioned, his eyebrows furrowing in focus at the back profile of the woman who was facing away from the camera, “Her name is y/n, she’s yet to contact us back—“ “where did you see her?” Jongseong cut him off,

His assistant, Sunghoon raised an eyebrow as jongseong never questioned the locations he was casting his models from— hell he barely even had time to know about jaeyun casting models let alone who they are, and now he’s suddenly asking where you’re from?

“The newly opened cafe, I don’t have her email yet— “ “then find it and sent it to me.” Jongseong interrupted once again resulting in sunghoon glaring at him for cutting him off, he huffed once he noticed jongseong was reaching for his phone, clearly displaying to sunghoon his annoyance.

“Why are you suddenly inter—“ “your break’s over.” Sunghoon had to bite his tongue from saying anything back to his best friend whom he sometimes forgot was also his boss as he closed the door to jongseong’s office behind him after he walked out.

And that was the day that jongseong’s life took another shift into a positive direction, the day where he decided to increase sunghoon’s paycheck for street casting you, for spotting you and bringing you into his life.

Here was jongseong now, approximately two years after establishing one of the most successful modelling agencies in the continent under jaeyun’s control, sitting in his office chair eating the lunch you had prepared for him as your schedule was empty this morning.

“When’s your next shoot, my love?” Jongseong spoke after swallowing, lifting his head to allow the sight of you sitting giddily on his boring leather couch to grace his eyes, you were always glowing in his office, casting a beautiful ray of light to the dull and lifeless space of his.

Especially now that you were wearing one of his own designs, a cute skirt paired with a cropped blazer, your hair styled prettily as you sat and fiddled with your fingers in excitement, “it’s at seven, are you going to visit me then?” You asked.

Even if you had attempted to hide your expectant tone of seeing him at your photoshoot and supporting you from behind the camera, jongseong easily detected it, he studied and observed everything about you.

“Of course I will, angel.” He replied, hands busy with reaching for a tissue as he finished his food, his eyes instantly falling back onto his paperwork before trailing back on you, “what time is it now?” You quickly checked your wrist watch “it’s two thirty,” he hummed at your response, “we should get going then.” He spoke out.

“But your meeting—“ “I’ll tell sunghoon to clear my schedule today, angel.” He ended before standing up, his figure tall in front of the sunlight in his office, he quickly reached behind for his blazer, the sunlight illuminating all of his veins and muscles as they flexed according to his movements, you totally weren’t distracted.

Once he coolly threw his jacket atop his shoulders, he walked towards you on the couch, “isn’t it too early? I mean we still have around four hours.” He pushed his glasses up his nose bridge as he looked downwards to meet your eyes, “I know, can’t I spend some time with my girlfriend before her photoshoot?” He smiled before reaching to take your hand.

You both step out of his office, your heels echoing throughout the halls of the floor while jongseong wrapped a protective arm around your waist guiding you towards the elevator.

You didn’t notice, but the sound of your heels had attracted some looks from jongseong’s workers, specifically from the newly hired employee that was on his first week of work, in jongseong’s peripheral vision he saw the movement of the new guy, very obviously swivelling his chair to get a good look while his coworker snickered at his gawking eyes, jongseong instantly recognised the agitating laughter— fucking yeonjun.

His laughter was instantly silenced when jongseong turned his head, he heard the screeching sounds of multiple chairs returning hastily to their original positions before he even fully turned, and with one sharp glare in yeonjun and the new employee’s direction, jongseong made a note to transfer both of them to a different department, as it wasn’t the first time yeonjun eyed his woman.

And he for sure wasn’t about to have another yeonjun around his office.

With a quick text to sunghoon, jongseong reached towards the wall next to the elevator, pressing the button before he returned his arm around your body, purposefully lowering his hand to your hip as he pulled you closer, “jong, your employees will see..” you whispered, aware of the fact that jongseong wasn’t the most comfortable when it came to publicly showing you affection. “Let them see.” He whispered back, pressing a gentle kiss to your temple.

Jongseong relished in the quiet gasps behind him along with the slight blush dusting your cheeks before the elevator dinged and he quickly pulled you inside with him.

He kept his arm secured around you till you reached the ground floor of his building, his hand then dropped to interlock with yours as both of you stepped outside of the gates, jongseong reached his other hand inside of his pocket once he neared his car, pulling out the keys to hand over to his bodyguard before he opened the back seat door for you.

It wasn’t common for jongseong to not drive his car, mainly handing over his keys on days where he felt exhausted or had begrudgingly drunk alcohol, yet before you could question his reasoning for today, he leaned forward towards your ear as you were entering the car, “I’ve missed you so bad, angel.” He whispered.

His low tone sent shivers done your spine, suddenly his touch felt like fire when his fingertips brushed against your skirt as you were sitting down, he quickly walked to the other side of the car before he sat down atop the leather seats next to you,

“Where to, sir?” His guard, Nicholas asked whilst he had his eyes glued on the road, “Home, and roll up the partition” his hands were itching to reach out and to touch you, to hold you as his black pants had started to feel tighter than usual,

After his reply to Nicholas, Jongseong couldn’t wait any further, his hand reached up to loosen the black tie around his neck, fingers quickly moving to unbutton his shirt slightly, allowing his tan chest to be exposed to the golden sunlight.

The sight of Jongseong brushing his hand through his black locks as he turned his body towards you made your heart thump loudly in your chest, his breathes turning heavy while his arms moved towards you, wrapping around your waist before pulling you closer to him,

His lips found home on the skin of your neck, placing soft and long kisses while goosebumps arose on your skin under his touch, you felt yourself becoming lightheaded once he began to suck gently, leaving behind faint marks of his love on you.

“Jong…” you breathed out heavily, eyelids closed tight as you basked in the feeling of his touch all over you, “shhh, I’ve got you baby.” His kisses trailed upwards, aligning across your jawline as they turned into mouth opened kisses, jay’s hands slipped onto your exposed thighs, gently caressing your skin beneath his fingers while he groaned against your neck,

“Let me please you, Jong. Please,” you whispered in his hold, the desperate tone in your low voice made him feel lightheaded, even if jongseong had different plans of him pleasing you, he didn’t have the heart to decline your sweet offer, not when you were looking at him with your twinkling eyes, eager to please him and to love him.

He nodded his head in approval, not quite trusting his voice after feeling the small lump in his throat when you instantly lowered yourself in whatever empty space that was available in his car, your knees resting against the floor while your hands were running up and down his thighs, caressing his flexing muscles before they moved upwards to wrap around his belt.

Once your hands had discarded his belt, he lifted his hips slightly to aid you with finally freeing his throbbing length that stood tall against his lower stomach, a small and shiny dribble of his precum trailing down from his aching red tip with the veins along his underside becoming more prominent, the sight was enough to make your mouth water.

“There you go, angel.” He breathed out in relief as he would have exploded had he stayed another second inside the infuriating tightening of his pants, “come on angel girl, touch me.” The encouraging tone in his voice made you instantly move, your hand wrapping around his aching member while the other rested against his warm thigh, casting goosebumps along his skin.

Jongseong felt his throat dry up once you blew cold air teasingly on his tip, and before he could process, you quickly wrapped your plump and glossy lips around the head of his length, the warmth of your mouth and your tongue instantly circling around him was enough to have him feel as if he was melting against the leather seats.

“Fuck..” he breathed out, eyes closing shut as the pleasure ran through his veins the further you moved, circling your tongue around his aching length before sucking more of him down your throat, the slight tightening making shivers trail along his body.

He felt slight goosebumps forming all over him once your nails began to softly scratch his thighs before your hands gently caressed his skin, you moved your head up and down, each movement drawing out a longer sigh of his heaving chest, jongseong could feel the familiar tightening in his lower abdomen, his release gradually building up the further your spit trailed down his base and pooled around his inner thighs,

Jongseong’s hands reached towards yours that rested against his thighs, he quickly interlocked his fingers with yours, gently squeezing your hand to indicate the approach of his climax, you hummed around him making his hips jerk forward at the sudden vibration,

He whispered your name in heavy breathes, attempting his best to stay quiet in the moving vehicle, yet it seemed impossible now that you started to push him down further, your nose inching closer to his pelvis once you began to deepthroat his cock, jongseong’s legs began to twitch under your interlocked hands while low moans escaped his throat, ones he desperately tried to suppress.

And with a few movements of your head, jongseong finally allowed the euphoria of his release to wash down his body in waves, one more intense than the other as his eyes rolled back in pleasure, shaky moans of your name rolling off his tongue while his hands tightened around yours, thick ropes of his release shooting down your throat yet you didn’t let go of him yet, aiding him in riding out his high once you began to move up and down again, swallowing what he had to offer while his swollen tip was hitting the back of your throat, pleasantly overstimulating him.

“angel— please.. s-stop..” He stuttered out in shaky breathes, begging you to stop yet his hands still tightened around yours, you moaned lowly at his salty flavour on your tongue once you moved upwards, kissing and suckling on his leaking tip as he coated your tongue and your throat in his taste.

And once his legs and hips began to twitch uncontrollably, you pulled yourself away from him, jongseong opened his eyes to a sight that will knock his breath out of his lungs, if only you knew you heavenly you looked with your eyes teary, cheeks flushed red and your lips swollen, coated with a sheen layer of his cum as you looked up at him with your twinkling gaze, breathing heavily while you gently wiped away at the milky white droplet at the corner of your mouth, bringing it to your tongue.

Jongseong was fighting every voice and urge in his head to not pull you into his lap and make love to you in the backseat of his car, he knew Nicholas was a mere four minutes away from arriving at your house, yet the way your eyes were practically eating him up were making all his rational thoughts disappear from his head one by one,

“You did so well for me, baby.” He praised before pulling you upwards, his hands finding home around your waist as he placed you next to him in the backseat, his lips easily finding your neck to trail his love filled kisses across your skin, “jongseong..” you whispered once your eyes caught the familiar scenery from the window, Nicholas had basically arrived at your house.

Your hands quickly pulled his away from around you, trailing down to help him in wearing his clothes in worry of Nicholas suddenly lowering the partition to announce your arrival, jongseong chuckled as he quickly fixed his belt before gently grabbing onto your neck to pull you closer once again, you placed a feathery kiss on his lips, “we can continue this at home, baby.” And at your words, jongseong nodded with his lovesick eyes glued to your every move.

You also might’ve been a little late to your photoshoot.

Jongseong was yet again, swivelling in his office chair while biting back toothy smiles as a random employee along with sunghoon were discussing the placement of a new coffee machine since the older one stops working every now and then.

Their voices completely distorted for jongseong who kept swiping between photos on his phone, his feet finally planted on the ground to stop the movement of his chair, the back of the large chair hiding away his eyes that were twinkling in amusement from both men in his room.

His fingers stopped as the video of your latest appearance on the runway finally loaded, jongseong fixed his posture, sitting upright while his grip on his phone tightened, he felt his heart racing in the familiar rhythm that only you were able to generate, the tip of his fingers buzzing, his leg shaking up and down in excitement at the sight of you walking down in the video.

The video filmed by one of his designers, showcasing you from a perfect angle, the styling of your hair, the dress that he had sketched himself on one blessed night with you sleeping soundly next to him was now hugging all of your curves perfectly, the same heels he had suggested your stylist Yizhuo now clicking against the runway floor.

Jongseong’s eyes were stuck on you, suddenly all the other models that were walking past you or walking after you were blurred from his sight, he could only see you wrapped up in his designs as you made your way to the front of the runway, your eyes shining with confidence while you glowed in radiance, your aura fierce and sharp.

He took notice of the way most of the guests’ heads followed your body, some too busy talking with whoever was besides them about your appearance while others stared with their mouths slightly open, if only you knew the power and beauty you radiated.

And once you had reached the front, all focus on you with the camera desperately attempting to capture all of your angles, you blew a kiss to the camera along with a quick wink shooting a very quick arrow into your lover’s chest and countless other people before smiling charmingly and turning around.

Jongseong was holding back multiple groans and sighs back as he held his chest, his heart racing rapidly while his face got warmer, he forced himself to continue watching the video, to watch the way you swayed your hips while the dress fluttered around your legs, multiple heads turning to face the direction your were walking back to.

Jongseong felt heat spread all over his body, heart thundering against his ribs as he attempted to suppress a wide smile from spreading across his blushing face, jongseong was now replaying the video, his eyes memorising your every move as you strutted with countless pairs of eyes following your movements.

And at your sweet smile, jongseong remembered the memory of his first meeting with you, he had tagged along with sunghoon who was called by jaeyun for your first photoshoot, the ‘newly casted models’ photoshoot, jaeyun knew he had to get the opinions of both his best friends and his own boss.

Multiple bodies moved throughout the dressing room, the voices of many stylists layering upon eachother as they discussed certain aspects of their models’ look with said model or they ordered their assistants to collect certain items for them,

Various shapes and sounds were echoing in the room from the sound of heels being tested and worn to the clacking sounds of palettes being closed or open, jongseong’s eyes caught sunghoon who was lost in a conversation with one of their main photographers— Heeseung, the tall man was sporting a boyish smile on his face as he joked with sunghoon, a large camera dangling from around his neck below his necklaces.

Jongseong’s head then turned to spot Jaeyun with his assistant sunoo, Jaeyun listing down the props and equipment needed for the shoot while sunoo was jotting down each word in his notebook, nodding along to jaeyun’s focused tone as his eyes travelled all over the set, the first photoshoot always had to be perfect.

Hushed whispers and giggles surrounded jongseong once he finally took notice of the multiple models staring at him, quickly averting their gazes while their hands covered the blushing lower half of their faces, their body language giving them away instantly as one was now playing with her hair while the other returned her gaze to him, sending countless signals of her interest in the young ceo that he paid no mind to.

Jongseong believed that he didn’t have any time for love, with no intentions of finding a lover and starting his own family, especially not when the possibility of him neglecting his own family whether it was intentional or not weighed heavily on his shoulders, he didn’t want to repeat his history.

He believed that as long as his heart remained unclaimed, entertaining himself with a few one night stands and hookups here and there from when his stress would get the best of him or his sexual frustration entirely takes over his body, he was good to go.

Yet jongseong couldn’t really keep lying to himself, he yearned for someone to love and appreciate him, to see and hear him for himself, Park Jongseong, and not ceo Jay Park.

He had given up on such love a long time ago, the hope in his heart ripping apart the longer his dates consisted of questions about his family, his business and his work life. His dates rarely ever asking him about his own interests, how his childhood had been like and what sorts of hobbies he had picked up.

Jongseong’s expectancy for someone to hopefully ask him about his fashion designing career so he could finally talk about his mother’s abilities to shape his skills were quickly dissipating.

Wishing for the day he’ll be able to talk about his hidden talent of music, his rare guitar collection and his countless lyric-filled notebooks with someone who gazed at him with love and interest, with pure curiosity in his hobbies and passions.

And so after countless failed dates filled with short and bitter replies of his work, jongseong fully lost hope, opting to live a single life with an empty space occupying his heart.

Jongseong was never a religious man.

Yet he desperately attempted to understand why the deities above struggled and refused to give him someone whom he could cherish and love, he swore he had enough love to give.

He had finally decided to ‘trust the process’ just as his mother had told him whenever discussions of his concerningly empty love life were brought up during their spontaneous lunches and dinners together, ultimately cutting his random dates spree short and waiting patiently for his person to hopefully walk into his life.. maybe?

And thank god he had decided to trust the process, he thanked all deities above and his mother at the memory of you making your first eye contact with him through the mirror of your table with you sitting, fidgeting nervously with your fingers as your anxiety was eating you up alive, your stylist and makeup artist Yizhuo hovering next to you as she was expertly applying your foundation while attempting to calm your nerves down.

In the middle of answering Yizhuo’s distracting question about your favourite serum— your sight had caught a dark brown pair of eyes, ones that gazed into yours deeply, your heart skipped a beat at the unknown man’s gaze that weirdly managed to calm you down for the first time in the past few hours, quickly studying his perfectly sculpted face, you concluded that maybe he’s another model who’s been casted, not recognising the ceo of your own agency.

Yizhuo had caught on your silence, her eyes quickly darting to your own ones that were stuck on the mirror, following your line of vision, she also made eye contact with jongseong, who quickly averted his gaze as he choked on his own spit in embarrassment.

He quickly covered it up with a cough, Yizhuo however was now looking back at you with her eyes wide. “What is he even doing here?” She whispered in bewilderment, a smile creeping up her lips at the fact that she had caught jongseong— her cold hearted ceo who hadn’t looked in woman’s way in a few years now, staring at you.

“Is he not supposed to be here?” You whispered back, eyebrows furrowing in confusion as you looked back at the man, once again catching his gaze, this time you were able to point out the slight, almost unnoticeable redness that coated his ears, was he blushing?

But god he was so beautiful, his sharp eyes were practically drinking you up, his nose bridge high as it became dusted with a pretty rose, way prettier than the multitude blushes you had infront of you on the table and his glossy, pink lips looked so inviting.

“He never comes here..” Yizhuo points out, her focus now shifting to locating her favourite pressed powder— well, before her hand smacked your shoulder, “Why are you two staring at each other again?!” She whisper yelled, paying no mind to your low hiss at the spreading pain around your arm, your eye contact with the godly man was cut short with yizhuo’s continuous whispers of excitement.

“How am I supposed to know! He’s the one that keeps looking back.” You whispered, your voice clearly reflecting your flustered state as it got higher with every word, “Do you think he’s cute?” She asked you, awaiting your answer with a million thoughts rushing through her head, with the main one being ‘was this it?’

“He’s breathtaking, Yizhuo.” You replied, an incredulous expression on your face at her stupid question. Unbeknownst to you, jongseong was still watching the interaction between you and your stylist, he also might have heard your exchanged whisper yells but he couldn’t bring himself to care as his attention was on calming his heart down from bursting.

Jongseong instantly recognised you from your portfolio, your beauty in real life easily captivating him and caging his heart in a way he could have only dreamed of, he made sure to send his mother additional bouquets with the weekly ones he sends her this time, because the moment he saw you quickly flash him a smile when Yizhuo turned around followed by a small, shy wave— he knew he made the right decision with ‘trusting the process.’

“Do you even know the amount of calls jaeyun has redirected to me just this past hour, jongseong?” Sunghoon’s irritated voice brought jongseong back to the present, his lovesick gaze focusing on his phone screen again, the video of you walking down the runway on loop in front of him, showing him a complete contrast from your first nervewrecking photoshoot to now, your first runway.

Words could not fully explain the pride he felt blooming in his chest, he felt so so proud of you for standing with power and manifesting all of your dreams into your reality one by one, having the privilege of listening to all your worries and thoughts about your career, jongseong felt honoured that you trusted him enough to let him see you in your lowest moments, and allowing him to cradle you safely in his arms to comfort you, assuring you that you’ll work out.

Now seeing all of your highest moments made him feel incredibly proud of you.

“And here comes another one.” Sunghoon sighed loudly in hopes of catching his boss’ attention, jongseong cleared his throat before locking his phone, turning his chair back to face sunghoon, he assumed the employee from earlier had taken his leave and left a very upset and irritated sunghoon in his office.

“What calls are you getting redirected from jaeyun?” Jongseong questioned, pushing himself back into his work mindset before he began fangirling in the middle of his office, he could delay his giggles and smiles till he’s back at home because at this current moment he wanted to figure out what exactly had managed his assistant to carry a sour expression on his face.

“Different agencies and brands asking for our models portfolios and other shit— just to somehow secure a contract with them,” he sighed in frustration while declining another unknown number before rubbing his hands all over his face as he felt a slight headache forming, “half of Korea’s agencies have called since the show ended, almost all of them asking for one specific model’s contact information.” He continued, jongseong’s eyes raised at the sudden popularity of a model under his agency,

Sunghoon was never one to exaggerate his words, nor would he get this frustrated and annoyed over phone calls, opting for an indifferent expression and cool tone when dealing with his work, it was difficult to throw him off his balance, whatever model was causing this chaos in jongseong’s agency by now had him sitting on the edge of his seat.

Jongseong thought of all the possible models who had gained immense popularity today due to it being his agency’s first runway show presented by Jaeyun along with his top designer and stylist Yizhuo— both very famous and impactful names in the fashion industry.

Could it be?—

“And as expected, it had to be y/n.” Jongseong had never felt his eyes snap open so widely, his mouth slightly agape as he stared at sunghoon who was standing right in front of his desk with his hands placed on his hips, clearly trying to emphasise his annoyance at jaeyun’s constant redirecting of phone calls.

“Y/n? As in my y/n, correct?” Attempting to make sure that his ears weren’t suddenly playing with him and at sunghoon’s nod of confirmation he knew to not doubt his ears again.

Jongseong couldn’t help the wide smile that spread across his face, sunghoon’s own annoyed act completely dropped at the view of his ceo grinning so genuinely for the first time in months.

The sight of jongseong— who usually carried a cold and stoic expression on his face breaking out of his ‘icy cold ceo’ shell and chuckling once his eyes landed on the framed photo atop his table of his beloved girlfriend was enough to make sunghoon smile himself.

He looked like a kid whose parent just bought him his favourite candy, a kid on the morning of Christmas bubbling with excitement, a pretty shimmer in his usually dark eyes that made warmth spread across the young assistant’s body.

“That’s good.. that’s really good. I’m sure she’s going to be happy at all the offers she got.” He replied, very obviously biting his lower lip to calm himself down and fight back yet another dumb grin from his assistant who was now staring at him in amusement as his boss tried to hide his flustered state,

“Your ears are red, you know…” sunghoon couldn’t help but point out the rare sight of jongseong’s ears reddening, he expected his boss’ face to deadpan, his smile to drop when he pointed out his flustered state, yet sunghoon was surprised again when jongseong literally giggled.

“Did you just-“ “shut the fuck up.” The ceo gritted out, clearing his throat to ultimately channel his work mode yet again, he lifted his gaze up to sunghoon’s smiling face before he rolled his eyes.

“Send me a list of all the agencies that called you today, hoon.” He quickly said, his hands reaching towards his leftover paper on his desk, opting to distract himself from the desperate need of seeing you and showering you with all his love for your success today, awarding you to the best of his ability for doing amazing on your first runway.

“Noted. Before I leave boss, I wanted to ask you about an event,” sunghoon’s own business mode switched on, his hands reaching towards his bag that he had placed on jongseong’s sofa upon his arrival to pull out his tablet, fingers quickly swiping across his screen to reach the photos of said event,

“I’m not sure if you have made the decision to attend yet, but y/n has been nominated for model of the year.” He started, his words once again resulting in a surprised jongseong, yet this time the boss had attempted his best to conceal his expressions, knowing how vital and important this certain award event could be for your career.

“The voting for the award has been online, and so far y/n has taken the lead with a gap as big as sixty thousand votes. Her winning the award is guaranteed by a hundered percent, Boss.” Sunghoon finished off, turning his tablet to show jongseong the voting results till now, and he could see your name very clearly on the top of the list, exactly where you belong.

“We’ll attend.”

And after countless, draining meetings, multiple coffee cups brought in by sunghoon to keep his boss awake, a multitude of disagreements and bickering from his assistant followed by whispers of his name around his building, said whispers mainly being questions about his relationship along with his personal life, jongseong finally breathed his first sigh of relief after a plethora of frustrated ones once his feet stepped inside of his shared house with his lover.

Jongseong could feel his frustration and stress leaving his body with every step he took, his steps heavy on your wooden floor that creaked quietly with his movements, each and every work related thought slowly dissolving from his mind to whispers that were pushed into the corners of his brain, he only had his focus and attention set on one goal, and it was to see you, to hold you, to finally shower you with his love and praise.

His feet ached atop the fluffy carpet in your room once he entered, hands reaching upwards to loosen the tie around his neck, blazer long forgotten in the backseat of his car as his eyes spotted your sleeping figure on the bed, his large shirt hugging your frame from beneath the blanket that was carelessly discarded on your body, indicating you being lost in a deep slumber.

Jongseong’s heart swelled at the comforting sight that he used to wish and hope for, the sight of his lover asleep on his bed clad in his clothing, head resting on his pillow with her nose nuzzling into the fabric that carried his soothing scent, the sight of his bed not empty.

If only you knew the amount of love your dear jongseong carried for you in his body, his love that knew no peak and only kept increasing day by day in a comforting manner, he knew his love for you held no limits as it took completely over his body at the mere thought of you.

The warmth that will spread across his chest, his ears slightly ringing while his eyes became unfocused, his fingers fidgeting with one another at the rush of emotions in his body like a teenage boy obsessing over his crush, all this over the mere mention or thought of you.

The effect you had on jongseong was one you weren’t completely aware of, it was one that sometimes worried jongseong, especially during the times where you were busy with your own work, he was brought back into a reality that didn’t have you by his side at specific moments, which resulted sometimes in a quite grumpy and needy jongseong.

One that desperately craved and yearned for your love and affection, both heart and body yearning for you with the warmth now spreading from the top of his head to his toes, the warmth that bloomed from deep within his chest, the temperature of his body increasing the more his steps brought him closer to your figure on his bed.

His body sat on the bed before he could stop himself, the worried thought of accidentally waking you up quickly disappearing when you only nuzzled closer to his pillow, a soft and content sigh falling from between your lips.

Jongseong’s hand had a mind of its own, he couldn’t stop his body from reaching out to touch you after a long, draining and exhausting day. His heart drumming when you leaned into his hand that caressed your cheek gently.

His lips had garnered their own mind as well since he was now whispering your name lovingly into the night, into the darkness of your room in hopes of finally having your sparkling eyes to open and land on him, and with repeated calls of your name with his hot breath right against your ear made your eyelids flutter open.

“Jongie..?” You called out for him, voice barely above a whisper as your eyes adjusted to the lack of light, you could make out your lover’s figure on the bed next to you, the familiar feeling of his skin against yours that brought you an immense amount of comfort, you could also hear his small chuckle at your sleepy voice,

“It’s me, my love.” He cooed. voice deep and tender, lips lifting to a lovesick smile that you weren’t able to see while he gazed at the way your hands released his pillow to wrap around his wrist, your warm skin contrasting his own cold one making shivers run down both of your spines, “welcome home,” you whispered, kissing the palm of his hand that was caressing your jaw, in blissful unawareness of the multiple beats jongseong’s heart had skipped.

“You did so amazing today, angel girl.” His body moved on the bed, coming up closer to yours as he hovered above you, his hands never once lifting an inch from your skin while you chuckled at his words, warmth spreading on your cheeks at his praise, you’d been waiting his reaction since the morning.

“I’ve been thinking about you the whole day, baby.” He whispered into your neck, his hands by now had trailed lower and lower, reaching the hem of his shirt, he toyed with the fabric. you hummed along to his words, closing your eyes to relish in the feeling of him so close to you, the heat of his body travelling onto yours pleasantly.

“What were you thinking about with me?” Keeping your tone hushed, your fingertips were trailing along his clothed arm, his muscles flexing lightly under your feathery touch, jongseong could already feel his pants becoming unbearably tighter, suffocating him even further at your low voice.

“Just how bad I wanted to come back home…” his hands finally dipped beneath your shirt, “how bad I wanted to come to you..” goosebumps appeared on your body as his icy fingertips brushed against your warm waist, “how bad I wanted to please you..” a soft gasp tumbled past your lips when his hand fondled with your breast, easily accessing your skin with no restrictions of a bra, “to praise you..” his eyes were glued onto your beautiful face, focusing on every expression you made from his slight movements.

His hands now moved downwards making you involuntarily spread your legs for him, his words and closeness casting a spell on you, “to make love to you..” he rested his palm against your core, your flimsy underwear doing a terrible job in hiding your wetness as jongseong’s breath hitched once he felt your warmth coating his palm completely while you whimpered under him.

“Baby, i need you to sit on my face right now.” he spoke against your neck, placing a quick kiss before pulling away from you after you nodded at his words, jongseong’s hands moved fast in a blur, unbuttoning his shirt and practically ripping it off his body, his hands then reached out to you, guiding you to balance on your knees while he pushed himself to lay on the bed beneath you.

“Just like that, angel girl.” Countless praises rolled off his tongue once you placed both of your thighs next to his head that rested against his pillow, you felt your face burn at the position, your breathes shortening when you looked below you to the sight of jongseong’s eyes darkening by the second, you attempted your best to hold onto the headboard, stabilising yourself as your mind felt like it was melting away once you felt his hot breath against your cunt.

“Fuck..” you softly whispered at the heat spreading along your body, your legs twitching next to his head when you felt your own wetness dripping down your inner thighs, jongseong took his sweet time in reaching to push your soaked panties to the side, his eyes almost rolling to the back of his head at the sight of your cunt glistening and aching for him.

He wasted no time in almost devouring your entire cunt, the tip of his tongue teasing against your sopping entrance only pulling away to circle your throbbing clit, sucking gently as he hummed at your sweet taste slowly coating his tongue, you mewled his name while your knuckles turned white around the headboard.

Pleasure coursed throughout your body in countless waves, one hitting harder than the other as jongseong noisily lapped and licked all of your juices, his arms pulling your thighs lower to his face.

You felt tears prickling at the corner of your eyes when he finally pushed his tongue in your gummy walls, thrusting in slowly to savour the feeling of your nectar covering the lower half of his face, your head was thrown back as your body shook in his hold when his nose nudged against your clit perfectly.

“Come on, love.” He quickly spoke under you before returning his tongue inside of you, low moans and whimpers of his name fell past your lips, each shuddered breath going straight to his aching cock that twitched beneath his clothing while his hips jerked and spasmed uncontrollably, desperate for any sort of friction yet jongseong paid no mind to his own need, completely thrown into a trance by your flavour and the heavenly sight of you atop of him.

“I’m close, baby” you breathed out, the knot in your lower stomach tightening with the gradual building of your release, “use me, angel.” He grunted, one of his arms now wrapped around your waist, his nails slightly digging into your skin while his other hand kept your twitching hips in place.

“Please use me, I need you to use me, cum all over my face.” He nearly whimpered, tongue messily slipping in and out of you before he pulled away to suckle on your aching clit, his words bewitching you entirely, your body leaned against the headboard when you felt your head spinning, mere seconds away from toppling into your climax the longer he continued eating and lapping you up so sloppily and loudly.

Jongseong was thrusting into the blanket at this point, his own release building up just by eating you out, the room felt ridiculously hot, you felt droplets of sweat aligning your hairline while jongseong could feel the droplets rolling down the back of his neck onto his pillowcase, his breaths heavy and hot as he refused to detach himself from you longer than a few seconds.

Your mind by now was completely whirling, jongseong’s continuous humming while you gushed all over his tongue was driving you to insanity, and you made the mistake of lowering your head to lock eyes with his needy ones.

A quiet gasp slipped out of you at the sight of him, sweet eyes already gazing at yours in love, his face glistening in a sheen layer of sweat, his black locks sticking onto his temples while tinier droplets rolled throughout his undercut, cheeks flushed a pretty rose colour while his eyebrows were furrowed in concentration.

Your hips began to involuntarily roll against him, the coil tightening further and further, you felt tears escape your eyes at the pleasure, suddenly jongseong pulled one of his hands away, his lips detaching from your core as his fingers inched towards your entrance, he carefully slipped two fingers in, both of you groaning in pleasure at the satisfying stretch.

You continued your movements, jongseong began to help you in riding his fingers, guiding your hips with his other hand while he stared at the sight above him, he noticed your every twitch, every shaky breath escaping your chest, every time your teeth grazed your lips to quieten your moans.

“Just like that, angel girl. Come on, give it to me.” He praised, eyes half lidded as he returned to suckling on your clit, adding a third finger in once your slick began to run down his palm and trail along his wrist, his thrusts quickened the whinier your moans turned, lips still wrapped around your clit while his tongue toyed with it.

“Fuck— I’m so fucking close!” You mewled with your back arching, nails digging into the wood beneath them once your legs began to shake, “cum for me, pretty girl.” He mumbled, his own body ablaze as he felt his own release mere seconds away.

And once jongseong pressed his fingertips directly onto one of your sweet spots all the while licking at your nub, you felt the dizzying sensation of pure ecstasy washing over you, broken moans tumbling out of your mouth while your eyes rolled to the back of your head, the sight of your climax washing over you to beautifully easily triggered jongseong’s own orgasm, and before he knew it he was already making a mess inside of his boxers at the sight of your moaning and shaking body whimpering out his name.

“Fuck yes baby, there you go. Cum for me,” his praises barely reached your ears as all you could hear was the familiar ringing after a mindblowing release, your eyes still closed while jongseong helped you in riding out your orgasm, slowly beginning to overstimulate you.

One of your hands reached down to hold onto his shoulder, in hopes of giving him the sign to stop yet jongseong was still lapping up all of your wetness with his eyes closed, humming in delight while licking all along your entrance, his fingers slowly came to a stop deep inside of you while his sucking dissolved into soft kisses against your cunt,

“Did so well for me,” he said with soft kiss on your clit, “my perfect angel girl.” kiss, “so so good for me,” tears were veiling your vision once again at his gentlest touches yet you didn’t have the heart to pull away, not when he felt so good.

“I love you so, so much.” And he finished off with a final kiss, carefully pulling out fingers that were covered with your slick, he quickly cleaned them up by pushing them into his mouth, eyes closing once again at your taste before he opened them again to find your own gazing at him tiredly, you were glowing above him.

His arm tried to tug you down, in hopes of you laying down next to him but you quickly stopped him, “jong, let me please you too.” You spoke quietly, throat feeling dry and scratchy before jongseong chuckled, “about that…” he smiled.

You focused on his face in the darkness to see the outline of a cheeky smile on his face, jongseong was quite thankful now for the lack of lighting in the room because his face felt like it was lit ablaze, “you don’t really have to do anything baby..” he spoke, voice becoming lower with every word, his words confused you, what?

Your eyes widened at the thought of him— no. You quickly turned around to the sight of a weirdly obvious and glistening wet patch on the middle of his pants, “jong.. did you really cum just from eating me out?” You asked, eyes still on the wet patch while jongseong rubbed his legs together in discomfort and embarrassment, “baby you don’t understand how amazing it is to eat you out..” he defended himself, voice questionably higher by a pitch as his blush deepened.

Not wanting to tease him further you turned to face him, pulling yourself away from him to lay besides your lover, quickly placing a soft kiss to his blushing cheek before chuckling, “okay baby, wanna join me in the shower?” You asked, voice already laced with exhaustion and fatigue, yet all those feelings dissipated when jongseong pushed his lips against yours, smiling into the kiss in response to your proposal,

“I’m gonna tease you about this later though.”

He stood outside of his car, parked infront of his building, the cold air sent slight shivers throughout his body, resulting in him tugging his blazer closer to himself, he could spot the multiple cars belonging to reporters on the other side of the street, eager to get any sort of photo of korea’s most popular couple, you and jongseong.

Countless other cars had parked next to his, the models that were signed under his company walking out one by one, some respectfully greeting him as they walked towards their respective cars while others shamelessly checked him out or winked at him, fully aware of his relationship.

Jongseong paid no mind to all the other women who were desperate to get his attention, he was too occupied and busy wondering about your outfit, the award seasons approaching also meant multiple runway events taking place— which also meant that your schedule was packed, jongseong was deprived of you terribly.

Specifically today, his hands itched to throw his keys to Nicholas and walk inside the building to see and hold you again as he wasn’t able to see you for the past few days, only able to feel the comfort of your body next to him when you were already sleeping by the time he had arrived.

Your morning fittings proved to be another disadvantage, as jongseong had been waking up these past few mornings to an empty bed, your absence greatly affecting his mornings when you weren’t there to hand him his coffee mug, his mornings without your sweet voice talking to him absolutely sucked.

The longer the days became without seeing you in his office with multiple declines to his ‘wanna visit me in my office?’ The heavier his days weighed on his heart, he turned away from the entrance of the building, in an internal battle with himself.

He physically couldn’t wait to see you again and relish in the familiar warmth of your skin against his— fuck it he’s going to see you right now, who would dare stop their own ceo from entering his own bu—

“Jongie!” And there it was, the same voice that his ear converted into sweet melodies that rung throughout his mind, jongseong couldn’t help the wide smile that spread along his face while his back was still facing you, heart fluttering in his chest from the mere sound of your voice.

He could hear your breath fanning the back of his neck as you had walked closer to him with heels clicking against the floor, he could hear your breath shaking from excitement, your hands reaching to hold his own in happiness of finally seeing him.

And when jongseong finally turned around he physically felt all the air getting knocked out of his lungs, suddenly the world began to rotate slower around him, all the other figures passing by both of you became blurred, your giggle at his smitten expression echoed in his ear, gosh you were so breathtaking.

The dress that he had spent months designing with the occasional help from jaeyun was now hugging your body beautifully, all the sleepless nights of erasing and redrawing all the sketches were all proved to be worth it now.

His smile deepened, widening enough to turn his eyes into crescents as he gazed at you with pure love and adoration, his hands interlocking with yours and he used it to his advantage by pulling you towards him further, his breath brushing against your neck and cheeks, “you look stunning.” He whispered only for your ears to hear.

Jongseong could feel his heart rate gradually picking up with the way your smile widened, eyes shining as you looked up at him, “thank you,” you whispered back, gaze dropping quickly to his own outfit, clad in black pants along with a white satin button up with his logo embroidered atop his chest followed by a dashing blazer, “you look handsome.”

Jongseong couldn’t really help the small giggle that escaped his throat, his fingers tightening around yours as you both broke into an adorable fit of chuckles, paying no mind to the people passing by both of you nor the cameras recording you both from meters away, and surely not to the multiple employees that were by now watching the interaction unfolding from the glass windows with their jaws wide open,

“Are you ready, my love?” Jongseong smiled, hand already softly tugging you towards him as he turned to face the car, “I’m always ready,”

The drive to the venue was relatively quiet, with you asking jongseong a few questions about the reporters and the awards in a hushed tone filling up the air followed by jongseong’s own answers and random jokes to ease the tension he could clearly notice in your shoulders, he knew you were nervous and he was too, was he going to make it obvious to you though? Of course not.

“You think they’ll have food prepared?” You finally whispered the question that’s been plaguing your mind for the past few hours as you hadn’t had the chance to really eat anything with your day being filled with random fittings and sitting down in front of Yizhuo for hours as she did your makeup.

“I hope they do.” Jongseong replied, a smile gracing his face before he turned around to your worried expression, “and if they don’t, you know I’ll make something for you.” He quickly added, shoulder nudging yours in hopes of seeing you smile, his grin widened when you finally did.

Once the car came to a halt and you both stepped outside of the vehicle, jongseong’s hand quickly interlocked with yours amidst all the flashes of the multiple cameras pointing towards you, the sounds of the clicks resonating in your ear as jongseong swiftly walked inside of the venue all the while his hand gently tucked yours towards him to keep you safe,

The yells and calls of both of your names along with questions about your lives and works being shouted here and there quickly quietened when you walked deeper inside the venue, your lover turning around once you reached a deeper spot with less people around to check on you, concerned eyes roaming your body to detect any sort of injury or problem, “you’re okay, angel?” He asked.

You quickly nodded to his words, feeling nothing but excitement running throughout your body as you took in the interior of the venue, packed with famous models and designers from all across the world, the names echoing around you in real life being ones that you’ve only heard on television or read about in the internet, everything around you felt surreal.

Jongseong smiled at the amusement twinkling in your eyes, taking notice your hands that were shaking with nerves and excitement, on instinct he took your hands into his and pressed a loving kiss on the back of each one, successfully returning your attention on him and making you blush as he smiled at you once more, “let’s go, baby”

Both of you walked deeper inside the venue, passing by the red carpet to myraid pairs of eyes following each and every one of your movements, numerous heads being turned in your direction once you and the young ceo became the center of attention, jongseong could practically feel the burning gaze of multiple designers, male models and reporters scorch through his suit.

He could easily pick out the difference between pure envy and jealousy from interest and attraction from the countless pairs of eyes that were glued onto him and you as he scanned the area, and he absolutely hated it.

His attentiveness and expertise in studying other people’s expressions and body languages had landed him in both blessed and cursed situations, for instance he was glad he was able to tell you were into him as much as he was from your first date with the way your attention was completely stuck on him, your fingers fidgety with your nervousness when they weren’t brushing through your hair followed by the adorable pink that would dust your cheeks as you looked down to chuckle at his stupid jokes.

The other instance being now, he could effortlessly nitpick the men who were gazing at your body with disgusting lust and need in their eyes from the men that had genuine curiosity and intrigue written all across their expressions as they gazed at you, your beauty captivating each and every one of their attention with ease.

He hated how these men had the audacity to gaze at you in ways only he should be able to, the nerve of them to think about you in only ways he should be able to, he hated the fact that you probably have the same effect on them as you do on him, plaguing their minds for the rest of the week with thoughts and wonders about how one day will be like with you.

But was the young ceo going to display his discomfort and show the clear jealousy tainting his expression to the whole world? Of course not. Who did these men even think they are in the first place? Why would Park Jongseong give them the satisfaction of seeing him with a sour expression on his face next to his lady who had managed to successfully enchant the entire venue with her beauty?

He would of course stand next to you tall and proud, hand wrapped around your waist protectively, fingertips brushing against the satin of your dress that he had designed and the whole world knew about that fact from his emblem next to your collarbone, a satisfied smile on his face that easily asserted his power and success, a supremacy all the other men around them could only have the ability to imagine about.

The image of the young ceo was guaranteed to be a trending topic in the country for the following few days, his resemblance to his father had always been a hotly discussed topic among the citizens of the city that had their eyes glued onto his every move, yet now with his first appearance into the public eye in a few months was a different kind of whiplash for all the attendees.

Park Jongseong walked with elegance, spoke with grace and radiated charm. His sole character and aura was a heavy statement of opulence and luxury, casting a very clear difference between him and all the other men in the entire world.

It was very obvious to the public eye that he wasn’t resembling the former ceo only appearance wise, but he had an exact replica of his father’s mannerisms. Born and raised into old money truly had done wonders in the upbringing of jongseong in the best way possible.

He was a ‘one-of-a-kind’ man, one in billions that blessed his family of powerful ceos, he truly was destined for success.

And success did he find, in the most loving and caring forms that walked into his life right when he most needed it, the sight of you next to him was pure eye candy for all the cameras in front of you, you and jongseong’s outfit complimented one another perfectly.

The contrast between the young ceo smiling charmingly at all the cameras as he attempted his best to turn and face all the reporters that were yelling his name and you, the embodiment of love and beauty standing besides him, glowing with your dress when you waved at your other friends standing a few feet away from you on the red carpet before smiling sweetly at all the paparazzis, was for sure going to be a trending topic for weeks.

“Don’t you think we should head inside?” You whispered to your lover, voice low in worry of one of the cameras that were recording you both to catch your irritated tone, the one you were trying to hide, jongseong clearly noticed it of course, his head nodding before he could even realise it, turning to interlock your hands once more to finally walk away from the blinding flashes.

Maybe Jongseong shouldn’t take much pride and confidence in his body language studying abilities, as he had completely failed to realise the multiple models that were eyeing him.

From the ones standing a few feet behind you, glaring daggers into you before their eyes twinkled once they landed on Jongseong again, to the ones behind the cameras, whispering with their hands against their mouths with their gazes stuck on your lover, who failed to notice all of them.

But of course you noticed, you felt the way you were being watched not only with lustful eyes but also envious eyes, the thought of multiple women wishing to be in your position, daydreaming about your lover irritated you to an extent, because at the end of the day, he was going to be the one to take your dress off while you left your loving marks on his back.

And one way or another, you will manage to make everyone else in this event realise it.

Jongseong’s thumb caressed the back of your hand gently, he could feel the nervousness radiating off from your body, hell he was nervous himself with his eyes glued on the host atop the stage, holding the envelope with one hand while the other kept the microphone close to his face, Soobin’s voice boomed throughout the speakers in the venue.

“And the winner..” he continued building the anticipation in the area, practically all attendees were on the edge of their seats with their breaths hitched, jongseong could feel his anxiety increasing when he noticed sunghoon’s leg shaking next to his seat, jaeyun’s nervous eyes rapidly moving from the large screen to the stage, your own nails digging into his skin softly whenever soobin spoke along with his mother’s eyes studying your nervous state while whispering reassuring words to you.

“I’m so sure you won, baby.” Jongseong finally found his voice again as he whispered softly into your ear, and similar to a spell you felt all of your worry dissipating at the mere sound of his comforting voice, your grip on his hand loosened while you leaned back into your seat again, a full wave of relaxation washing over you, you turned to look at his eyes already staring at you tenderly.

“I don’t mind, really.” You spoke with a hushed tone, a small smile gracing your lips when your gaze fell onto your interlocked hands with jongseong, “it’s just an award,” you shrugged your shoulders before returning your focus onto the stage, unaware of the grin that now appeared on jongseong’s face at your words.

“For ‘Model Of The Year’ is..” Soobin’s voice brought his attention back onto the screen yet again, the sight of Soobin’s hands hastily opening the envelope he was handed before pulling out a small paper, made jongseong gulp in anticipation, the roles were quickly reversed since now you held jongseong’s sweaty hand with both of yours, gently rubbing your thumb on his skin to calm his own nerves down.

And at soobin’s yell of your name throughout the venue, jongseong felt his whole world slowing down in rotation, you excitedly jumped from your seat with shock painting your face followed by jongseong’s mom also leaping to hug you tightly, her praises and congratulations falling onto your ringing ears as the crowd erupted with cheers and claps.

Sunghoon was too busy celebrating your win with jaeyun who was now hugging the assistant excitedly, eyes shining with a huge smile on his face at his model winning such a huge award in his agency, he felt so proud of you, body twitching in happiness as he stared at you walk towards the stairs of the stage now.

The whole time jongseong was in a state of shock, his eyes attempting their best to focus on your figure standing in front of the mic now, his racing heart skipping beats once his eyes focused on the huge award in your hand, sunghoon’s whispers of ‘i told you’ were left ignored as jongseong tried his best to decipher your speech— he could already tell your halfway through it yet time seemed nonexistent for him at this current moment.

When his ears finally began to pick up and understand what you were saying— “And I would love to thank my beloved husband, park jongseong—“ and just like that his ears began ringing again, his surroundings suddenly slowing down once more.

Because what?

Your beloved who?

The crowd that was only quiet for a few seconds roared with another round of applause and shouts at the announcement, your mind was clouded up and foggy with your own emotions you didn’t even realise your slip up even when your eyes landed on jongseong’s shocked face, his mouth agape with his pretty eyes widened with shock— was he tearing up?

The realisation dawned on you when you noticed sunghoon proudly slapping his friend’s back all the while jaeyun was now bursting with excitement, clapping his hands with multiple giggles falling from his lips followed by sweet congratulations to jongseong— who was slowly coming back to his senses and becoming aware of the camera next to his face, recording and displaying his reaction on the large screen.

His face and ears had flushed entirely red, big eyes twinkling in surprise and shock, lips parted in confusion as he had the urge to say anything. To talk, to scream, to yell at that second yet nothing was coming out besides a breathy chuckle.

Jongseong felt the familiar warmth rushing throughout his body, branching from deep within his chest to his limbs that buzzed with excitement, the familiar warmth that only you were able to generate in him, the warmth and fuzzy feeling of pure love.

He had the courage to look into the lens of the camera with his own tear filled eyes before nodding proudly, confirming your own unbelievable words, the shocking statement that fell from your lips unexpectedly to the entire world.

His heart thundered in his chest when sunghoon nudged him while laughing, jaeyun was now calming down jongseong’s mother who was too busy wiping her own tears of happiness at the sight of not only you on stage but also the sight of her son, jongseong gazing lovingly at you atop the stage, radiating the love and adoration he carried for you from the screen, and the final blow was when he decided to blow a kiss your way.

That was when your own resolve completely crumbled and you bowed one final time to the crowd and soobin before quickly getting off the stage, the urge to be close with your lover surpassing every other emotion you felt in that second, the need to hold him and feel him consuming you to the point of a satisfied sigh tumbling past your lips when you finally made it to your seat again,

With jongseong standing to hug you tightly, lips next to your ear he whispered “congratulations, wifey.”

Jongseong’s didn’t allow his body to stay as distant as an inch away from you, almost like he became glued to you at the hip when you began to make your way back from the event, hands laced together with his towering figure trailing behind you like a shadow.

He couldn’t bring himself to even think about lifting his eyes away from you or drifting a single second away from your body, the only time being when he had to enter his car after you and it was short lived since not even a moment later he was pressed against you.

Still in his state of a giggling and blushing mess bedsides you, he toyed with your fingers while you were on the phone with Yizhuo, accepting all of her sweet congratulations and excited squeals over the line before ending it with a loving kiss to the phone, your lover was now distracted with softly brushing his fingertips against your skin, caressing each vein around your wrist with hazy eyes,

“Jongseong..?” You whispered quietly, eyes quickly checking on Nicholas who glued his attention on the road ahead of him, before returning back to a soft jongseong, he hummed at your call of his name, gaze still stuck on your hand— specifically a certain finger on your left hand, with a ghost of a smile on his face.

“You’re really quiet..” you stared at his side profile, the slope of his nose, his softened eyes filled with passion along with his pretty pink lips pouting in concentration, he was in a deep thought. He simply hummed as a response once again, and before you knew it the vehicle finally came to a stop.

Walking inside the house never felt so soothing for both you and jongseong after a tiring day, once the door behind you got closed you felt his hand rush from interlocking with yours to wrap around your elbow, briefly stopping you and turning a confused you around to face him.

“Did you really mean it..?” He spoke with a hushed tone, eyes blazing with hunger and need for you, his other hand came upwards to caress your cheek lovingly as he awaited your answer, “mean what?” You questioned.

He breathed in deep before speaking once again “do you see a future with me?” His eyebrows slightly raised this time, a slight blush decorating his ears that slowly trailed downwards to his neck, the sight of your gaze softening and transforming from confusion to pure love made him almost melt in front of you.

“Of course I do,” you leaned against him, hands now finding their place on top of his chest, you felt his heart beat drumming beneath your fingertips rapidly while his hands dropped to wrap around your waist, “I’m glad you do, because I can’t wait to marry you.” He spoke before kissing your forehead, resting his against yours as he closed his eyes while yours widened.

“We don’t have to rush..” you quickly said, making him open his eyes once again, you easily drowned in his eyes that were dripping with honey. “We have to, the whole world thinks that we’re married now.” He chuckled, “I don’t mind making that true..” he continued, arms wrapping tighter around you while you stared at him with genuine amusement, “..like right now.” He nuzzled his nose against yours.

“Jong..” you started, heart racing from not only his words but his closeness as well, you felt your body heating up, a familiar warmth taking place between your legs the tighter and closer he held you to him, he walked slowly while he pushed you backwards till your back pressed against the door and his lips found home on your neck.

He breathed in your scent before trailing kisses along the expanse of your skin, your breaths deepened once the room suddenly felt warmer, his blazer around your shoulder felt like it was burning you, your eyes unintentionally closed the wetter his kisses got, the longer he trailed his tongue over his marks and the harsher his sucks got on your skin.

He pressed his leg between yours, knee indenting your dress while it pleasantly pressing against your core allowing him to feel the wetness pooling in your underwear, your hands by now had reached out to wrap around his shoulders, fingertips brushing against his undercut making him groan.

you felt his hardened member press against your thigh achingly while jongseong paid no mind to his own needs, too distracted by your supple skin between his teeth. Yet you couldn’t take it any longer, you needed him inside of you desperately.

“Jongseong..” you whispered once again directly into his ear, tone laced with crave and yearn towards him, he felt his heart skip a beat at your weak sound, quickly detaching himself from you, “I’ve got you.” He mumbled before picking you up with ease,

His feet quickly arrived at the doorway of your shared room, he swiftly stood besides the bed before carefully lowering you onto his bed sheets, wasting no time in climbing atop of you to finally connect your lips for the first time tonight.

His hand wrapped around your neck, squeezing the marked skin weakly, making a soft gasp flutter past your lips, he trailed his tongue against yours, brushing past your swollen lips while he pressed his body completely against yours.

His other hand quickly came up to rid him of his tie, popping a few buttons open on the way which allowed you to get a look at his gorgeously tanned chest, his hands then worked quickly to open the zipper on the side of your dress before leaving you on the bed clad in lingerie, one that he recognised you and yizhuo designed to hopefully get released under a future lingerie design, and you were sure it was with the way jongseong’s pupils immediately formed small hearts.

“You look stunning..” he breathed out, chest heaving in breaths while he began to kiss your chest, you lowly moaned his name once he began to suck between your breasts, hands fondling with them with the annoying restriction of your bra, his kisses turning more hungry and greedy the lower he reached, he placed on final wet kiss on your hip bone before his hands wrapped around your inner thighs, separating your legs as his placed them on top of his shoulders, lowering himself to the wet patch on your covered panties.

His placed one kiss against your clothed clit resulting in your legs twitching besides his head, he chuckled lowly before kissing you once again, you whimpered his name out, hips needily and uncontrollably rolling as your body was lit on fire at this point, jongseong pushed one finger in through your clothed entrance, the sight of your glistening wetness trickling out more from the sides while he could feel your nectar seeping through the flimsy fabric bewitched him entirely, he gulped when he felt countless waves of pure ache travel his body from his hips.

“Jongseong please..” you mewled, the back of your hand resting against your forehead once you began to feel lightheaded the longer he pushed his finger along with your fabric inside of you followed by his long kisses against your clit, “please what, angel girl? Tell me what you want.” He quickly replied before turning his head to kiss along your inner thighs, his swollen lips pressing against your skin after nibbling on it softly.

“Please let me ride you.” You whimpered out, voice barely audible but jongseong understood your words with ease hence why he suddenly stopped all his movements and god was he fighting off the urge to combust in his pants right now.

Without responding he quickly got up, hands separating from your heat while his face came upwards to yours, he took in the sight of your half lidded eyes, shining with desire, need and devotion when you finally saw him again, the sight of your blushing face with soft breathes panting from between your plump lips, you looked alluring.

Jongseong had seen you on countless magazine covers, your photos on multiple runway shows taken by professional photographers, numerous photoshoot appearances with half of them ending up on billboards all of which you looked absolutely gorgeous in.

Yet none of these photos could amount the beauty that he saw whenever you were under him, the beauty that he knew he caused. With your flushed face gazing at him so prettily, begging him and needing him to do anything. Not one single photographer can catch the expression of pure love and lust that he got to saw beneath him every single night, you looked mesmerising.

Easily putting him under a spell with only one goal in his mind, to please and love you till sunrise only to do it again the whole day and never break this endless cycle of devoting himself to you entirely.

“Of course, angel.” He finally breathed out a response, delicately moving his and your body to get you in the correct position after quickly ridding himself of his pants along with his boxers, with his back against the headboard and you sitting on his lap, he held your waist as he guided your clothed cunt against his aching length that stood proudly against his lower stomach appearing painfully hard, leaking with precum from his reddened tip.

He quietly gasped out your name, his hips twitching with your slightest movements, your hands gripped on his shoulders while his pressed your body closed to his while he moved you as he pleased, his eyes closing as he threw his head back, gifting you the heavenly sight of jongseong with his face blushed, lips glistening with his own spit due to his constant messy kisses, small sweat droplets decorating his hairline before trailing down his honey skin, his Adam’s apple moving when he gulped, you couldn’t really help yourself from leaning forward to press a gentle kiss against it, and you for sure didn’t regret it when it drew out a whimper from your lover.

Impatiently, your hand reached lower to push your sopping panties to the side before aligning his tip against your entrance, your wetness leaking down his length followed by his own precum, the sight arousing you enough to finally sink down on him after countless hours while both of your moans of pure pleasure resonated throughout the dimly lit room.

“Fuck..” he breathed out, his abs flexing from beneath you as he fought his hardest to push his release back since he’s been in an internal battle ever since you slipped up on that blessed stage, his hands held onto your hips once you began to move atop of him, guiding your hips to roll in delicious circles that made you whimper his name against his lips while he sloppily kissed you.

He couldn’t keep his lips off of yours for too long, separating them whenever the urge to moan out your name became to much before returning to suckle on your lower lip, he savoured your flavour and you taking over his senses entirely by closing his eyes and allowing himself to indulge in you entirely while your gummy walls sucked him hungrily.

Your nails began to slightly dig into his skin the harsher his hardened tip pressed against your sweet spots perfectly, your eyes rolling back almost every time you lowered yourself on his cock after lifting your hips to only have his tip inside of you, jongseong began to slowly move his own hips upwards to meet your thrusts, he angled them perfectly to have his tip press against your cervix expertly.

He had memorised every part of your body, every movement that had your legs shaking and eyes rolling and he used every night he spent with you to his advantage, almost vowing to himself to always have you clouded with bliss and pleasure whenever he had the chance.

His length felt like it was splitting you open, moulding your walls to his size and his only with the way his thrusts slowed to the point where he was practically pushing himself inch by inch, his arms trailing upwards to circle around your waist, pressing your upper half against his while he fucked you passionately.

“Jongseong..” you moaned his name eagerly, your own hands had dropped to grip onto his forearms, nails indenting the fabric of his button up shirt while you tried your hardest to stabilise yourself, he quickly shushed you, “I know baby, I know. I’ve got you.” He pressed a quick kiss to your parted lips before reaching for the drawer next to your bed, hand moving hastily to grab the device before revealing the vibrator to you, “jong—“ he cut you off, his other hand holding your chin to tear your gaze away from the device to look at his own reassuring one, “I’ve got you.” He whispered one final time against your lips.

He turned the device on, to a medium setting before lowering his hand and pressing it against your clit, you gasped quietly at the intense vibrations of pure pleasure running along your body, your chest pressed harsher against his, jongseong could feel his mind spinning the longer he felt your breasts pressed against him while your hips involuntarily rolled due to the vibrations, he felt a shudder run down his back when he took notice of the goosebumps on your skin.

“There you go, doll.” He praised you, his eyes glued onto every expression of ecstasy that your face twisted into with the continuous building of your release, the way your eyebrows were furrowed with your pretty eyes tearing up due to the intensity of the pleasure he was providing you was driving him crazy.

You felt the way your abdomen tightened in familiar pleasure, the tightening of the coil indicating the approach of your climax that almost made your mind melt away, jongseong picked up the pace of his thrusts, your wetness mixed along with his own now messily trailing between your inner thighs to coat his own, the sound of wet skin slapping followed by your moans echoed off the walls the longer you needily bounced on him.

“I’m so close.. so so close,” you babbled throughout whimpers of his name, jongseong felt his own release that he desperately fought off right around the corner, he leaned forward to peck along your chest, lips brushing against your collarbone while he moaned against your skin, “i’m close too, baby.” He spoke between kisses, his hand pressed the vibrator harshly against your throbbing clit making you squeal his name, mere seconds away from reaching your orgasm.

“Come on, doll.” He urged on, his voice whiny in need of you to cum all over him and to allow him to relish in the sight of you in cloud nine, the sight he knew multiple men were currently wishing for, the sight that was reserved for his eyes only.

Jongseong felt the familiar jealousy course through his veins when he remembered the nasty looks of those men, his envy reflecting in the way his hand squeezed your hip before he lowered you down forcefully, unexpectedly and impossibly deepening his thrusts. Your moans turning into broken sobs while tears rushed freely down your cheeks when he picked up his own pace and began to piston his cock in and out of you.

“Fuck! Jong— I’m cumming” your voice turned into mere whispers the second you felt the familiar euphoria and fervor washing down on you, hitting your body with explosive waves, each one drawing out a long moan of your lover’s name from between your lips.

Jongseong was never a religious man.

But gosh the sight of your back arching beautifully in front of him, your head throwing back revealing your heaving chest clad in a flimsy lingerie with broken moans of his name along with a glistening sheen layer of sweat casting on your body enticingly, made you look absolutely divine in his eyes.

The urge to thank the deities above for allowing your paths to cross at that current moment was difficult to ignore, you didn’t notice the quiet gasp leaving his mouth at the sight of you, unaware of the way the mere view of you bathing in complete pleasure and delight unlocked something carnal, something animalistic in him that pushed him in a frenzy of thrill and bliss.

He guided you throughout your orgasm for a few seconds before moving both of your bodies in a split second, he discarded the vibrator carelessly as he suddenly had you beneath him, you gasped in surprise at the unexpected change in position with his hands now reaching to place your legs atop his shoulders while he pushed his cock back into your swollen folds.

“Jongseong please.. I can’t—“ you felt tears prickle in the corner of your eyes when he began to thrust again, he lowered himself to kiss along your tears, his hips rolling smoothly in after he pulled a mere inch out, not having the ability to possibly move out further from your heat that sucked and milked his cock in ways that had his body shaking.

“Yes angel, you can.” He cut you off, lips kissing along your wet cheeks, “you can give me another one can’t you?” He questioned, his hips now picking up pace ardently, overstimulating you while you could only writhe in his hold, the feeling of his tip now fully pressing against your cervix made your eyes roll to the back of your head, your body now twitching beneath him fully as you felt another orgasm building up.

“I know you can baby, you’re so perfect for me..” he babbled on, using every second that he doesn’t have his lips pressed onto your skin to whisper praises to you, “you were made for me, angel.” He kissed along your jawline while you sobbed his name, “my precious princess, does that feel good to you?” He lifted his face to take in the sight of your pretty face completely fucked out.

You nodded wordlessly to his words, he had successfully pushed you into a subspace filled with nothing but delight, your ears were ringing with only mumbles of his words reaching your brain, at this specific point you felt mind blowing waves of pleasure running throughout your body, confusing you on whether or not you were cumming again but you couldn’t bring yourself to care or focus.

“Did I fuck you dumb, doll? It’s okay you know I’ll take care of you, angel. I’ve got you, hm?” He continued, his legs now convulsing while he felt himself teetering on the edge of his orgasm, he could taste the metallic taste of his blood coating his mouth due to how harshly he had been biting his lips.

He felt you cumming around him once again, your nails gripping around his arms with your eyes closed shut while you whimpered beneath him, not able to process anything besides the borderline painful pleasure he’s been causing, his eyes softened at the rush of fresh tears from your ears when you tightened around him once again, “jongie..” you finally were able to weakly whisper his name, with both of your bodies twitching in overstimulating ecstasy.

your voice needily calling for him was enough to finally have him toppling over the edge, he choked out your name once he felt his mind clouding with blinding euphoria, hot white rushing through his veins as he pressed his hips sharply against yours, his tip pressing against your sweetest spots while he filled you up with his thick ropes of cum, painting your insides pleasingly white.

countless whispers of fuck fuck fuck fell past his lips followed by loud moans of your name as he plunged inside of your wetness to ride out his climax, unintentionally bringing you to another orgasm that made your walls convulse around him painfully, your peaks of pleasure seemed endless once jongseong felt his own tears of overstimulation lining his waterline, his wobbling lips pressing against your shiny ones, your body twitched beneath him once he wrapped his arms tightly around your waist after lowering your legs from his shoulders,

He suckled on your lower lip as his thrusts finally came to a stop with his cock deep inside of you, he felt his body burning with the intensity of the aftershocks, he quietly whispered your name expecting you to open your eyes yet you could only bring yourself to hum, he began to suck on your the tip of your tongue, hands caressing your sides while his length softened in between your warm walls,

“Angel.. my sweet girl.” He whispered, his dazed eyes now awaiting yours to open up finally, “come on..” he softly tapped his index finger along your cheek, finding the way you suddenly wrapped your arms around his shoulders to hold him closer endearing, “come on baby, come back to me..” he urged on, and once his longing tone finally reached your eyes, you attempted your best to open your eyes.

“There you go baby..” he chuckled at the sight of your unfocused eyes, his fingers tenderly caressed your wet cheeks, patiently waiting for you to fully return your focus back onto him again, “did so well for me, pretty girl.” He praised before trailing kisses along your jawline, “my sweet angel.” He spoke with a final kiss to your parted lips, a soft smile appearing on his face when he finally noticed your hazy eyes focusing on him,

“You did so good for me, baby.” He said in a hushed tone, quietly speaking as to not overwhelm you in any way, the only goal in his mind was to get you both cleaned up before cuddling you till the afternoon tomorrow, “I love you so much,” he whispered, his heart swelling when you gently kissed him.

And that night became one of his favourites with you when he finally tucked you in his bed, your body clean atop changed bedsheets with him besides you, completely unaware that jongseong’s previous words were actually true, and the proof of that was the small velvet box inside of his blazer that he had messily discarded when he was undressing you.

៹ — A,NOTE. pt2. as mentioned above this was not proofread or edited so im kind of terrified to post this but I just finished it and i desperately want this work out of my drafts because it’s been here since the end of jan 😭

I would also like to point out the fact that I used punctuation this time ☝️ or atleast well TRIED to use it to my best ability, and that this will also have a part two (that’s not going to be released anytime soon because this one drained me) and it will focus on the more possessive and somewhat toxic? side of ceo jay bcs im obsessed with him 🙏🏼

some scenes were also written very quickly with my mind completely empty to it makes me feel kinda :/ like especially the award scene it was kinda rushed but I was kind of working on a time crunch (idk why but I wanted this out as soon as possible) so that’s why some scenes might feel empty or not as well and in depth written as the other ones which is on me + the fact that I don’t really know much about the modelling agency so I didn’t go into detail about writing it in case it’ll be wrong which is also why some scenes will be feeling empty. but anywho !! i hope u some what enjoyed my longest fic to date :D !! feedback & reblogs are greatly appreciated ! <3

(p.s big thanks to Victoria Monét’s collaboration song with kehlani ‘touch me’ for giving me this idea and for making that song and if u read the lyrics they somewHAT inspired this whole fic especially kehlani’s verse and if some other parts don’t make sense then don’t worry because they will in part two 😁💯)

More Posts from Kiminis and Others

kiminis

2 years ago

⋅ ⎯ ✈︎ Choi Yeonjun | S. Cuddling With Yeonjun ! | P. Gn!reader X Bf!yeonjun ! | G. Headcanon,

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ⠀⠀masterlist | navigation

최연준 ' choi yeonjun

cuddling with yeonjun has got to be the sweetest thing ever

he's so warm and he LOVESSS big spooning

he loves having you in his arms but he also tends to brush through your hair

places the softest kisses on your lips

yeonjun is not the typical boyfriend

he's everything you want and more and there is no doubt about that

whenever you walk by him while he's laying down he always opens his arms in hopes you'll cuddle with him

whether or not he's on the couch or in bed he will always be down to have you in his arms

enjoys when you face him and brush hairs away from his eyes and then kiss him

he also really enjoys kissing the tip of your nose when you are facing him

YEONJUN IS LITERALLY BOYFRIEND MATERIAL

AND NO ONE

LITERALLY NO ONE

CAN CHANGE MY MIND !

2022 © jungwnies

1K notes View Post

kiminis

9 months ago

hyunjin loves you quietly. and you feel it the most when he does small things for you without mentioning them, all just to see your reaction. today, the two of you are sitting in a cafe, sketchbooks in front of you as you merely enjoy one another's company while you draw. he's drawing a couple across the room, deeply invested in their own conversation in a way that makes them perfect to try and capture quickly. you, on the other hand, are trying to capture architecture outside. its always been your weak point and you've been wanting to get better at it, and you think that's why hyunjin picked a table that let you see the brick building across the street perfectly.

you reach over to your bag, drawing out the smaller bag you keep your pencils and pens in. when you unzip it, you realize there's new pens in your bag. for a moment, you just stare at it, wondering when you broke open a new package. it was on your list of things to-do to replace them, sure, but you never made it to the art supply store, and hyunjin went without you--

oh.

"something wrong?" he asks quietly, looking up at you. he gives you the softest smile, so in love with being able to spend these quiet moments with you, but you know that he's fully aware of the little act of love he's done for you.

so you just shake your head, pulling out one of the new fine line pens while snagging your kneaded eraser, too. "thank you."

his eyes flicker down to the pen in your hand, and that subtle smile grows a bit wider as he returns to his work. he does reach out at one point, just to squeeze your free hand, drawing it up so that he could plant a quick peck against the side of it.

and you show him your own love in the way you bring him a new drink later, a doodled heart on the side of it from you that you face toward him. it's tiny. it's cheesy. but it puts three words into a single shape that makes him hold your hand tighter on the way home.

748 notes View Post

kiminis

1 year ago

baby i'm yours, lee felix

✧ pairing lee felix x gn!reader

✧ genre/tw fluffy fluff! kinda hurt/comfort, reader has a migraine and felix is a little lovebug as always, too many petnames, kissing and sleepy cuddles

✧ w/c 1000

✧ a/n something small inspired by my own migraines, i hope anyone who relates starts to feel better and feels comforted by the sweetest boy <3 title is after this song it reminds me of him 💗

The house is filled with sound, circling around the space with laughter and music and video game noise. Lively melodies of boyishness, teasing and yelling; roughhousing so loud you’re sure the neighbors can hear.

The house is filled with sound, all except for your place in Felix’s room. Behind the door it’s silent, no sound but your gentle breath hitting his skin. He’s always so warm, a space heater personified, heating you everywhere his star-studded skin touches. You can feel his smile moving across your neck, placing soft little kisses on his path from your clavicle to your throat, all the way up to the side of your mouth.

“Feeling better?” he asks, his voice is gruff from lack of use and his eyes are light when they meet yours. His question seems more like a wish than an inquiry, he always worries when you get these headaches. Pain throbbing underneath your eyes and inside your temples, sometimes you feel so sick, nausea begins to accompany the migraine, and the only thing your boyfriend can do is wrap you up in his arms and his blankets and hope for the best.

You both know it’s easier to cure these moments away from the boy’s dorm. The cozy quiet of your apartment is much better suited to comfort the constant pounding, but there’s something magic to the noise. A curious familiarity surrounds the home, in some ways it reminds you of being a little kid and going to bed to the sounds of your parents still awake. A memory from an easier life, a moment trapped in time, but relived in these hurtful days inside this room.

“Just a little, I’m sorry I’m not very fun right now.” Your voice is a whisper, and your eyes are still squinted shut, but you hope your words are enough to convince him to stop worrying.

“Don’t be sorry, my love, I’m having a blast laying here with you.” Felix’s grin is sunlight, as bright and pretty as the rest of him, and you think it doesn’t matter if he’s lying—your head is already starting to ease just from the sight of your starshine boy smiling down at you.

His hands are in your hair and his smile is on your forehead, and you think you’ll be better in a few minutes. When you came over you had plans to watch movies and play Mario Kart with the rest of the boys, and maybe in just a few more minutes you can. You can almost envision it, opening up your eyes to a clear head and telling Felix that you feel so much better, joining the rest of the dorm in their night of laughter instead of this sickly quiet you currently inhabit.

You can tell your boyfriend doesn’t mind, he’s always happy to take care of you, but you’re sorry that another fun night has become the opposite.

“Really, Lixie, Go have fun with the boys… I can do all this by myself.” You don’t want him to go, but you need him not to feel trapped. Popping one eye open, you can tell what he thinks about that offer—if the slight squint of his eyes having anything to do with his emotions, he must think you’re crazy for even posing it as an option.

“And what? Sit in the living room with people I see every day instead of lying here with you? Are you insane?” He’s laughing as he says it, and his arms escape from your hair to gently play with your fingers. “You must be, my crazy little love… where does it hurt?”

His touch is light as a feather, pulling at your hands and rubbing up and down your arms. The skin to skin contact makes you shiver, even after all this time all it takes is a few gentle touches to start up the butterflies in your belly. You tell him about the pain under your eyes, huffing and whining when his body moves too much atop yours, but you stop as soon as his lips land softly on your eyelid; pressing down gentle and tender where the pain started.

“A kiss to make it feel better, okay baby?” Even through the pain his voice (so deep and quiet in the dark room) makes you smile. So typical of him, to be as sweet and sugary as the treats he cooks up. A boy who grew up on kiss cures and tickle fights, what a blessing to have him lay with you in the dark.

You’ve been smitten with him from the first time he shot his shiny smile at you, in love with each picture perfect piece of him. With hands grasping out to hold his, you kiss wherever you can reach: his shoulder first than the divot of his adams apple, all the way up to his uplifting lips.

“I love you, sweet boy… thank you for being with me.” You can’t tell if you mean here in the moment, or just in general, but either way it’s true. You’ll never stop being grateful for his place in your life, a light in the darkness and a heart to hold you when you don’t feel good.

He kisses you again instead of a response, slow and closed mouthed—desperately trying to express his feelings in all the ways he knows how.

“I love you too, you know I do.” He rolls off you, tucking you just underneath his chin; keeping you as close as possible. Legs on legs and hands clasped together, you can’t seem to find where you begin and he finishes—you’re as close as you could be with your warm pajamas on.

Everything is burning up, his skin and your love for him. So, cozy you can’t help but feel your eyes flutter close again. This close you can hear all his sounds, his heartbeat and his breath, and his sweet voice like a lullaby lulling you to sleep.

The snow falls, we fall apart.

summary: when heartbreak looms on your life, and winter becomes a time you loathe, hyunjin helps you rewrite your memories with the season, and with it, everything you once believed about love.

genre: producer student!hyunjin x reader. roommates!au. friends to lovers. acute descriptions of heartbreak and general sadness. slow burn. hurt/comfort. healing and hopeless romantic hyune. very inspired by long for you so lots of pining and yearning. (wc: 13k)

warnings: mentions of alcohol. it is implied that reader was in an a very toxic relationship but no details are shared.

a.n: happy birthday to my hyunjin, my muse, my light. thank you for being so full of love that it made me love love again in return. this is i think my most personal piece, and i hope it reminds those who need it that love should be soft and kind, that it shouldn’t hurt, that it should heal not break. i love you guys and i love you my xi, writing this collab with you has been a true honor <3 also!! please listen to long for you while reading :,)

winter falls masterlist.

You’ve only ever felt utter despair twice in your life.

First, when you were seven years old, playing hide and seek with your cousins at your grandma’s house. It was a warm summer afternoon, the air sweetened by pastries you devoured hours ago. You decided to hide in a wooden cabinet up in the attic, only to end up stuck there. The walls felt like they were closing in on you, the oxygen seeping away from the cracks underneath the door, leaving you deprived of air, of life.

Second, at twelve, when you've come to discover sorrow's new facet, clad in grief's heavy cloak. Your parents adopted a hamster for your birthday, but they did not know he had a terminal disease. You were distraught, to say the least, when you awoke to its still form, death claiming a frail heart unaware of its imminent fate.

And now, third, many many moons later, you are knocking on Hyunjin’s door a few minutes after midnight. It is cold out, tears tracing rivulets on your cheeks, your fingers tinted pink from roaming outside in the harsh winds, your heart much heavier than when you were a child. More grief-stricken, at your own hands, this time.

A disheveled Hyunjin opens the door, his blonde ash hair tousled and sticking upwards, a clear indication of the many times he had run his hands through it in fits of frustration. His gray hoodie zipped up hastily, revealing the silver cross necklace he was wearing, nestling perfectly against his honeyed skin.

You've always had an aversion to seeking comfort, saw it as revealing your deepest vulnerabilities to a world that isn't always kind. It was easier, much simpler to do so when you were a clueless child— when you sank in your cousin Lia's hold as she attempted to steady your breathing, when your mother cradled you in her lap after Pinky died.

It is much harder now, much more embarrassing because Hyunjin has never seen you this sad, never glimpsed your shadows that now swarm his doorstep, unannounced.

“What's wrong?” he quickly asks, eyes darting over your figure in a rapid search for visible wounds. He wouldn’t find any. All your injuries stem from within— blood doesn’t have to be spilled for your heart to weep.

You had rehearsed a lie as you walked up to his doorstep. You would say that your car broke down near his place and ask if you could stay over for the night. He would insist he could drive you to your place and you’d refuse, saying that it was too late and you did not wish to bother him. You’d sleep on the couch and slip away in the early hours of the morning.

Yet, it is the genuine worry etched in his eyes that dismantles the fortress you've hidden in, melts the lie in your throat, morphing it into a steel lump coiling in your throat. He looks concerned when all you’ve had directed towards you recently was anger. And you missed someone looking at you in care, not reproach.

“I didn’t know where else to go.” You admit, your voice shattered, fragments of your vocal cords scattered out in the wind like a broken mosaic, the sound of it scraping against your ears.

Blow one hurt. It felt like your body turned against you as it deprived you of oxygen. The sobs that escaped you once you perceived the light pained you, perhaps more than being confined in the darkness.

Blow two was even worse, it was your first time experiencing grief. It was too hard of a concept for your innocent heart to grasp, too complicated for you to find solace in anything as adults do.

You promised yourself that you’d reserve blow three for monumental agonies— big pains and big sorrows only. That’s how you managed to keep all your tears at bay for most of your life. Would they be worth losing your third sob for? No, you've always found the answer to be.

And in all the twisted scenarios you’ve conjured up in your mind, deaths and illnesses and the haunting tale of failure, you did not imagine that it would happen on Hwang Hyunjin’s doorstep. That you’d burst into sobs at the compassionate look in his gaze, and the sad smile he sent your way. As if he knew, as everyone did around you. That you had handed a knife to a serial killer and it was only a matter of time before he stabbed you in the heart.

Two weeks ago.

“I’m trying to understand you but you aren’t helping me,” Seungmin is frustrated as he paces relentlessly before you from left to right like a swinging pendulum. You sit on the couch, beholding only his shoes, avoiding his gaze that would reflect the truth you dare not confront.

“He’s sucking the life out of you, can’t you see that?”

You can, out of everyone that surrounds you, you can see it the most. You feel as if you are carrying a skin that isn’t your own, weighed down by a relationship that has taken everything from you. But admitting it is admitting that you were wrong, in trusting him, in loving him. You couldn’t bear it.

“We are fine!” you shout back, the defiance in your voice surprises even you. This is a familiar script with Seungmin, a recurring conversation spurred by your puffy eyes and diminishing appetite. He tells you, begs you to leave, but where could you go? How could you leave a home where you've shed all your treasured belongings at the door— your skin, your bones, your very self.

What place would welcome you now that you're stripped bare of your soul?

“When was the last time he made you smile, huh? All he does is hurt you, and you...” he chuckles incredulously, running his hand through his hair. “You are letting him.”

Deny, deny, deny.

“This isn’t true. He loves me,” the words taste foreign in your mouth like rusty metal dragging across your lips. A small voice whispers that love shouldn't feel like this, but you quiet it down.

“Are you hearing yourself? Yn, I…” he kneels before you, his hands resting comfortingly on your knees. This is Seungmin, your best friend of five years. You know he has your best interests at heart, you are even more sure of it when his voice softens, shakes slightly when he utters your name. “Yn, please. I’m trying to help you. Please.”

“I didn’t ask for your help,” you push away his hands, standing up. “I don’t want your help, and I don’t need it.”

You quickly leave Seungmin’s dorm, your heart heavier than when you entered it, foolishly hoping that he'd ignore your distressed state after yet another fight with your boyfriend. But Seungmin doesn't understand, no one around you does— you’ve gambled your heart, and you cannot stop drawing the cards, even in the face of losing strikes.

❁ ❁ ❁

Hyunjin offers you a cup of tea with a gentle smile and you grab the steaming drink from his hands. The smell of chamomile wraps around your senses, and your brain fizzles out for a second before the soothing aroma. But it is a fleeting respite, the tempest of your thoughts crashes back onto you with an unsettling force, causing you to almost drop the drink as your hands shake. You place it down the table without taking a sip.

“I’m sorry for coming unannounced,” you apologize, wincing at the intrusion, “I hope I didn’t wake you up.”

“I always sleep late. Don’t worry about it,” he smiles, but you know it isn’t a genuine grin, because his eyes betray an unsubdued concern, refusing to morph into their usual moon crescents.

You’ve always thought that Hyunjin wears his emotions openly— when he laughed, he did so loudly, his boisterous giggles traveling around Seungmin’s dorm. When he hurt himself, everyone in the vicinity would know so from his loud yelps. And when something worried him, he would bite his lip, toying with the plush flesh to ease his nerves.

As he is doing now. Looking at you.

“We broke up,” you quickly say, and your words hang over you like a gloomy cloud. “But I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Do you want me to fight him? I’ll bring changbin too,” he suggests a serious tone underlying his playful offer, and it manages to tear a reluctant giggle out of you.

“Changbin doesn’t know me well enough to fight for me,” you counteract and he shakes his head. “He’ll fight for me, I'm his princess.”

“Are you now?” The giggle escapes your mouth less forcefully, and the smile that graces Hyunjin’s face is a genuine one.

“I am. My proposal stands,” he extends his hand and you wrap your fingers around his palm. “Thank you, I’ll keep it in mind,” you smile but he frowns, flipping your hand around in his hold.

“You are freezing,” he whispers, using his other palm to rub warmth into yours.

“It’s fine,” you lie, slipping your hand out of his grasp, not feeling deserving of his kindness.

Wordlessly, Hyunjin stands, walking into what you assume is his bedroom. You only know of his place because you dropped off Seungmin here some time ago. You are too exhausted to even drink in the interior.

“Here,” he returns, handing you a navy hoodie of his and black joggers. “This will keep you warm at night.”

“Thank you,” you whisper, hesitating for a few seconds before speaking again. “Can you please not tell Seungmin, I... I can't face him right now.”

“Of course. I’ll be awake still if you do need something.”

Hyunjin’s clothing is warm, although peeling away your own garments felt like shedding layers of your skin, as if the fabric melted into your very flesh, just like memories from the day did. You have never felt this worthless before, discarded like a forgotten leaf on the roadside, one he stepped on for his own enjoyment, leaving you crushed in his wake, unable to fly away again.

Hyunjin’s rose perfume wraps around you, and you find relief in sleeping somewhere where your, his, scent was no longer around. You foolishly hope that if you close your eyes hard enough, you’ll manage to convince yourself that you’re someone else, tonight. Someone who isn’t tethered to the heartache, someone who can slip away from the clutches of a love that hurts more than hate could ever manage to do.

❁ ❁ ❁

Heartbreak isn’t beautiful, no matter how eloquently you try to dress it in the syllables of poetry, no words can soften the burn in your lungs, the searing ache that courses through your very core, reminding you that deep within, down to the fundamentals of your being and the most basic alchemy that ties your atoms together— you are unlovable. Whether you cut your hair or allow it to grow, change your heart, or leave it as it has always been, you will remain so.

You don’t remember much of the past week, blurry fragments here and there that float in your mind like a distorted water reflection. There is little room for memories when you are busy trying to remember how to breathe— one inhale in, one exhale out. The simple concept seems harder when there are unkind hands permanently lodged into your heart, squeezing it tight.

What you do remember is telling Seungmin through text the next day, because you couldn’t bear the way his eyes would soften if you spoke to him in person. No signs of surprise cast on his figure, because he knew that it was long coming, a train with one final inevitable destination— you in shambles, him okay.

You remember Seungmin cradling you in his arms when he came to see you, and you trying desperately to keep the tears at bay— too focused on pinching your arm to let Seungmin’s warmth radiate through your being, Hyunjin lingering uncomfortably by the entrance of his living room.

You remember begging Seungmin to grab your belongings from the apartment you shared with your ex because you were unable to face him, him, and everything that your old place spelled out for you. Stand in the ruins of what you once thought would be your permanent home.

And now, you watch as Seungmin and Hyunjin bring suitcases full of your stuff into the latter’s place. And you feel like an outsider in your own body, standing at the corner of the room gazing at utter destruction, unable to stop it, unable to mend it. Seungmin quickly reassures you that you could crash in his and Minho’s place until you find a new one to live in, already taking out his laptop to search for new apartments for you.

But you did not care for it, your eyes zeroed in on the satin shirt peeking out of your suitcase. The one he bought you on your first month anniversary. Back when love felt like a gentle feather running down your spine, and not a dull knife slicing away at your skin.

“This place's expensive too,” Seungmin sighs, rubbing his temple warily. Your logical best friend could not fix your heartbreak but he took it to heart to alleviate your other troubles. You would thank him for it, later, when your tongue finds enough will to move.

“What if you move in with me?” Hyunjin suddenly says and his words filtrate through the fog in your mind easily, as if he rehearsed them enough times so they’d roll out smoothly out of his mouth. “I mean, Felix is away for the next year since he went back to Australia. And I was looking for a new roommate anyway.” He shrugs and Seungmin turns to look at you, his eyes convey the question his mouth doesn’t articulate— is it okay with you?

“I don’t…” your voice is croaked, so you clear your throat. “I don’t want you to do things out of pity.”

“I’m not. If I was, I would've told you to move in with me for free. I still need you to pay rent,” he raises his eyebrows, a playful tease and you smile in relief, nodding, “Okay, I will. thank you.”

Heartbreak is ugly and all-encompassing, weaving through the roots of your heart and infecting each organ with its insidious touch. It renders you immobile, incapable of performing the simplest tasks, burdened by a weight unseen by the world. But you try your best, your very best to contain it.

You smile at the cashier as she hands back your money only to wonder if her soft, well-manicured hands would too crush a soul without remorse. You go to all your classes without fail but your mind is elsewhere, contemplating why the sun filtering through the windows no longer warms your skin. Can nerve endings perish when subjected to too much pain? What's left of life when you can no longer feel the caress of the sun?

You watch a movie at Seungmin's dorm but your mind is elsewhere, fleeting to this morning and how you refused to stay in the shower for more than three minutes because your thoughts might become haunting ghosts tempting you to follow them. You brush your hair and spray your perfume, only because you have to, because you live with Hyunjin and you wouldn’t want your sadness to taint him too. You wonder how long you’ll have to bear it. You wonder if it’ll ever leave you or if the veins in your heart have molded themselves after the pain and they wouldn’t know how to accept happiness anymore.

You greet Hyunjin as he walks past you, shaking your head when he asks you if you want to eat dinner with him, quickly retracting back into your room. You have ten unread messages and a pile of growing laundry you need to do, but all you can muster is to gaze at the empty walls, mirroring the void within you. Your mom told you to call her again and you don’t know how you’ll speak to her without bursting into a sob, how you’ll tell her that all it took was one person to break you. Or maybe it was two people, your hands and his tearing apart your flesh and bones. Maybe that’s the worst part about it. So you don’t call her.

And you only ever emerge from your room when you need to, just like now because your water bottle is finished and you need to refill it. You go to open the kitchen door when you hear Hyunjin’s muted shatter, Felix’s distinctive deep voice coming out of the phone speaker.

“Next you add the melted butter and stir it,” Felix instructs, the sounds of pots and utensils clinking in the background. You fidget slightly, mustering the strength to paint a fake smile on your lips.

“What next?”

“Sift the dry ingredients then add them to your wet mixture,” Felix explains, met with a few seconds of silence. You can almost visualize Hyunjin's perplexed expression, blinking rapidly in confusion.

“Explain it to me like I’m five years old,” he requests, prompting a small smile to etch itself onto your face.

“How are you surviving without me?”

“I’m not please come home,” Hyunjin sounds horrified as Felix’s rich chuckles fill the air. “Why do you suddenly want to make brownies anyway?” he then asks.

You go to open the door when Hyunjin’s response catches you off guard.

“They’re for Yn.”

Hyunjin's words resonate in the air, causing a hitch in your throat and Felix’s teasing whistles simultaneously, but Hyunjin is quick to stop him. “No, no, no, it’s not like that. They’re just a bit down and I remember them loving your brownies. So…”

It takes you a fleeting moment to dig the memory out of your mind, a year ago, right before your ex came to pick you up from Seungmin’s dorm. You had a bite of Felix’s brownies, a surprised gasp escaping your lips at its delicious taste, back when food had taste and happiness came easily to you. It was an insignificant memory, you did not imagine Hyunjin, out of everyone, would remember it.

But he did, and he’s now pacing before your closed door, contemplating how he’ll convince you to finally eat something with him. He throws a thumbs-up in the air for no one but himself, inhaling deeply before knocking on your door.

“Hey,” he greets with a hopeful smile, his gaze meeting your tired form. He hesitates for a second, clearing his throat. “Brownies?” You remain unmoving and he falters, “Hm? Please?”

“Sure,” you nod and a wave of relief floods through Hyunjin as you step out of your room. His joy is short-lived when he takes the brownies out of the oven, only to find them thoroughly burnt.

His mouth hangs agape, and he walks back shamefully to the oven, lowering its door only to scream inside of it.

“This will be more therapeutic,” you say, pointing nonchalantly to the fridge and he agrees, opening its doors and yelling once again in the much larger space.

Your melodic laughter fills the kitchen, Hyunjin’s embarrassment is suddenly a forgotten memory.

“I’m craving kimbap. Should we get it instead?” you propose, a touch shyly and he quickly agrees, afraid you’d change your mind and walk back to your room where he can no longer ensure you are okay.

Hyunjin absentmindedly dances along to the music blasting through the convenience store when a girl sidles up to his side, a saccharine grin on her lips as she looks up at him, “hi,” she greets and his tentative smile mirrors hers. “Hey.”

“Are you single?” she asks, her gaze briefly fleeting to the window. “I think you are really cute.”

“I’m…” he glances at you but you're suddenly engrossed in the ingredients of the tuna kimbap you are holding, pretending not to listen. “I am but I’m not interested, thank you.”

“Oh, come on,” she places a hand on his arm and he physically recoils. “Give me your insta and we could talk.”

“No,” he repeats, grabbing her hand to remove it when a loud voice startles him. “Baby, what’s taking you so— What are you doing?” Hyunjin watches in horror as the girl’s eyes grow wide, before she scrambles to the man’s side, feigning fear.

“He kept hitting on me when I said I had a boyfriend, baby.”

“What?” both you and Hyunjin gasped in comical unison. He would find it amusing if not for the escalating anger radiating from the man, who looks like he spends all his days in the gym. Hyunjin suddenly regrets not working out with Changbin.

The man strides towards Hyunjin. “Do you want to die?”

“No? there’s a misunderstanding,” he replies, swiftly standing before you and shielding you with his arm. “Your… baby,” he wiggles his finger in front of the man's face, “she was the one hitting on me!”

The man scoffs loudly, his face growing redder from the anger seething in him. “So you hit on my girlfriend and then accuse her of cheating?” His fist rises threateningly, prompting Hyunjin to step back, accidentally bumping into your chest.

“Wait, wait, wait! Let’s go talk outside, man to man,” Hyunjin pauses, his voice taking on a taunting edge, “unless you're too scared?” he smirks as he feels you pull at his shirt, whispering an incredulous- “What are you doing?” He shakes his head, grabbing your hand and leading you outside, throwing a sly wink at the man behind you now.

“Are you seriously going to fight him?” you ask, your gaze shifting towards the deranged couple who are about to step out of the grocery store. “No, of course not. I'm a lover, not a fighter.”

“You said you'd fight my ex,” you point out and his eyes soften surprisingly.

“You are an exception.” He looks back at the man, who's now walking towards you both. “But anyways, do you know how to run?” he asks and you frown, “who doesn’t know how to—” you pause as realization dawns on you. “No," you whisper furiously.

“Yes.”

“No,” you shake your head, horrified and he nods, eyes apologetic.

“Yes.” His fingers entwine with yours, he squeezes your hand once before he takes off running.

“Hwang fucking Hyunjin!” you shout and he looks back at you, a mischievous smile on his face. “I’m sorry Yn my face is too pretty to be beaten up.”

“He’s following us!” you yell, looking back horrified as the, even angrier, man runs after you.

“Well, run faster!”

“I’m wearing fucking slippers!” you curse and he giggles, tipping his head back, the wind slamming into you both, his hand never letting go of your own.

“Oh my god why is he still running!” you groan and Hyunjin picks up speed, moving you even closer to his sprinting figure

“I know, is it ever that serious?” he yells above his shoulder and you dig your nails into his palm.

“Shut up, this wouldn’t have happened if you weren’t so gorgeous.”

“So, you think I’m pretty too?” Hyunjin grins proudly and an incredulous laugh escapes your lips.

“Really? Is this what you’re getting out of this situation?”

“Silver linings, Yn, silver linings,” he shouts as you round a small alley, finally stopping to catch your breath. You both fall to the ground, heavy breaths escaping your chests.

“Holy shit, I’m not athletic at all,” he heaves, his eyes meeting yours. He expects to find anger lingering in your gaze but all he can grasp is your amused smile before you collapse into a fit of laughter, clapping loudly and clutching your stomach with your hand.

“Oh my god, I’m crying,” you laugh harder, wiping away at the tears falling from your eyes. Hyunjin’s weariness disappears in the blink of an eye— he did not realize how much he missed your smile until he glimpsed it again. And it is beautiful. Happiness looks beautiful on you.

“Idiot,” you hit his shoulder playfully, and his response is delayed for a few seconds, the warmth from your smile rendering him immobile.

“I’m sorry,” he chuckles, pulling you up. “Here, I’ll carry you home,” he squats slightly before you. “How impolite of me. How dare I make your majesty run.”

You shake your head, amused, before climbing atop his back, his warm palms holding your thighs securely. “Only because the slippers hurt my feet.”

You walk in silence for a while, your arms wound up around Hyunjin’s neck, the ghost of a smile still lingering on both your faces.

“They said it will snow tomorrow,” Hyunjin speaks suddenly and you stay silent for so long he starts to wonder if you even heard him.

“Mm? That’s nice,” your tone is melancholic, and he pauses at the peculiar sadness in it— as though you were trying to act nonchalant about something that has once meant the world to you.

“Don’t you like the snow?” he asks and your hold on his neck falters.

“I loved it. Loved ice skating and building snowmen.” Your voice is light and airy, like Hyunjin’s favorite mint chocolate ice cream. “But now it reminds me of bad times, bad memories.”

“I understand.”

Hyunjin knows what it feels like to relinquish parts of yourself you never wished to part from. For someone to grab your happiest places and to cast a gloomy filter atop them. Sometimes it is the loss of a season that hurts more than the departure of a person.

And Hyunjin loves winter.

He’ll do everything so that you’ll come to love it again too.

❁ ❁ ❁

Is it a nightmare if the person in it is one you once loved, looked forward to beholding with your gaze, hoping they’d never slip out of your reach? You don’t know, but you are growing tired of having the same dreams every night. Of waking up with an exhaustion that goes beyond your restless sleep but pleads from your soul to rest after almost a year of torment.

You sigh wearily, rubbing a hand through your face before walking to the kitchen to retrieve a glass of water. You find Hyunjin there, eating a cupcake while standing shirtless, scrolling through his phone. You blink at the sight.

“Hey,” you clear your throat and he startles, dropping the cupcake on the ground. He goes to pick it up only to bang his head on the table, a loud yelp escaping his lips. You barely contain your giggles as you walk to his side, rubbing your palm soothingly on his head. “I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you.”

“At least pretend you are sorry,” he mumbles, pointing to your amused smile and you chuckle, taking his hand and helping him to his feet.

“What are you doing up now?” he asks as he grabs some napkins to clean up the pink frosting smeared across the floor.

You hesitate for a few seconds before whispering, “Just nightmares. And you?” you quickly add, not keen on pushing the subject any further.

“I'm working on a song,” he explains, as his gaze lingers on your sunken eyes, weighed down by dark circles from too many sleepless nights.

“And the cupcake?”

“Some people need caffeine to function. I need flour.”

“I literally see you drink three americanos per day.”

“Okay well maybe I need both,” he admits sheepishly and you grin, drumming your fingers along the countertop.

“Can I sit with you while you work?” you ask quickly, before the words linger enough in your mouth that you no longer wish to spit them out.

The smile that Hyunjin sends you is kind, pushing the shadows of your nightmares just slightly out of reach.

“Of course, yeah you can. Don’t even need to ask.”

Hyunjin walks first into his bedroom, quickly slipping on a hoodie while you take in the interior. It is a quite simple room— a large bed with gray covers, and a desk filled with what you assume to be his producing equipment sits adjacent. But what catches your attention is the dried rose hung delicately on the wall, and the array of paintings surrounding it. You edge closer to it, drawn to the well-crafted paintings— a sun-drenched beach, a couple lost in an embrace so intimate their forms can no longer be separated, and an elderly pair riding a motorcycle, their love radiating vibrantly as if enclosed in eternal youth.

“You paint?” you ask, turning around to find Hyunjin watching you. He steps closer, enveloping you once more in the fragrance of his rose perfume.

“In my free time.”

“You are amazing, Hyunjin,” you compliment sincerely, your gaze fixed on that imagery of the old couple, one that most likely grew together. It tugs at your heartstrings, stirs a painful longing within you, a memory of a time when you too believed you’d find such boundless love.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, before brushing his fingertips gently against your forearm, for a fleeting second. “Are you okay?” he asks, a tenderness you’ve been aching for latched into his question. Your eyes refuse to peel away from the paintings and the love spilling from each paint brush stroke, a love that refuses to rest on your being as if you were harboring an armor that repels it.

“No,” you reply sincerely, turning to face him. “It’s really hard,” you say with a smile, hoping that the mechanical display of happiness would keep your tears at bay, tricking your brain into believing you're not as sad as you feel.

It fails to do so, and the tears well in your eyes like a gathering storm. Frustration twists your features as you shut your eyes, tilting your head upward in a desperate attempt to contain the flood. It pauses as Hyunjin cradles the back of your head, drawing you close to the warmth of his neck. His palm glides soothingly along your spine, before patting your back ever so gently.

Your back stiffens, hands curling into tight fists, breath catching in your throat. You've grown accustomed to pushing away comfort, putting up tall barriers to shield yourself. But tonight, Hyunjin seems to break through your defenses.

Tonight, you soften, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt, head nestling deeper against his tender skin.

“It wasn’t your fault,” he whispers and another sob wracks through you, but he only holds you tighter. “It’ll get better soon.”

“I loved him,” you hiccup, your voice breaks, “a lot.”

“I know, that’s why it hurts.” His voice is gentle, and yet his hold on you feels secure as if you could stumble and fall, and he would be there to catch you

“I want it to stop hurting.”

“It will, with time.”

Your next words are tinged with a childlike vulnerability, reminiscent of blow one, then two. But you do not care for it, in that instant, you crave the reassurance, you need someone to plant a seed of hope in your soul because your hands are too frail to dig for it.

“Do you promise me?”

His response doesn’t come hastily, carelessly thrown into the air like idle chatters. He takes his time, considering it with the gravity of an oath.

“I promise you.” He finally says, each syllable infused with sincerity. A brief pause hangs in the air before he adds. “And if it doesn’t then you can hit me.”

“On your pretty face?” you ask, a smile tugging at your lips despite yourself.

“On my pretty face,” he confirms with a chuckle.

“What an honor,” you roll your eyes playfully as you lean back and he grins, tenderly wiping away your tears with the back of his fingers.

“I can't believe it took three minutes for you to cry in my room. This isn’t good for my reputation.”

“Good thing this will never leave this bedroom, right?” you point a finger at him threateningly, and he pretends to zip his lips, tossing away the imaginary key. “You got it.”

“So what are you working on?” you ask as you settle on the edge of his bed, knees drawn up to your chest.

“It’s a pretty sad song, wanna hear?” he offers, sitting across from you on his chair.

“Yeah, I'd love to,” you smile, and Hyunjin deftly adjusts a few buttons, before his melancholic whistles weave through the air, coupled with the somber melody of a piano. Your breath catches in your throat, the music reaching into the very depths of your soul. It's as if the notes are calling out for a loved one, for a time that has long passed, for a past that will never come back no matter how much we long for it.

The instrumental continues, each piano note and each violin string echo like a bittersweet lament, springing tears to your eyes. But the melody remains beautiful, akin to the beauty always found in the sadness— in the tears that cascade down your cheeks like glistening crystals, in the tremble of your hands akin to branches swaying in the wind, in the rise and fall of your chest with each breath, mirroring the ebb and flow of the waves.

Hyunjin watches you intently as the music envelops you both, his gaze softening with each passing moment. You bring a hand to your chest, almost unconsciously, too engrossed in the melody to even blink. He feels a blush sprout on his cheeks as your teary eyes hold his with the last fading guitar strings.

“You keep on making me cry,” you whisper, your voice choked with emotion, and he grins, tilting his head shyly against his shoulder.

“You like it?” he asks, a tad eager and you nod, not bothering to wipe the lone tears that are falling down your cheeks.

“I think this is what my loneliness sounds like,” you confess softly.

“As do mine.”

A silent beat runs between you both, it isn’t uncomfortable, but safe. Because you understand him, just as he understands you.

“Sometimes I long for things that have passed," he admits, “although I know I can't get them anymore.”

“The most terrible thing you can long for is yourself.”

“Because no one’s to blame for that loss but you?” he muses and you nod, a sad smile tugging at your lips. “Yeah, exactly.”

You bite your lip, casting a glance back at the paintings adorning the wall. “I don't love him anymore,” you begin quietly. “I stopped a long time ago because there was no room for love anymore to grow amid weeds and thorns.”

He remains silent, sensing that this is a weight you need to unburden yourself from.

“But in the midst of it I think I stopped loving myself too,” you whisper, a confession too terrible to be uttered out loud. “That's what I long for. The things I used to love that I'm indifferent to now.”

“Like you’re a stranger before everything once familiar to you.”

“Yeah, you express it prettily,” you remark with a small smile.

“It's my job,” he grins lightly.

“I think when your heart is pure,” he begins after a while, pausing to carefully choose the words that will soothe your burn, help sleep come more easily to you. “You give love to others more readily than you do to yourself. And it takes time, patience, to redirect that love back to your own heart once again. But it's not a mistake to love, you shouldn’t hate yourself for it. Nor should you blame your past self for loving the wrong person because they did not know what you now do.”

“Think of it as a caterpillar in their cocoon,” he continues gently, “when they finally emerge from their chrysalis, they might long for who they were, where they once were because it is the only place they've ever known. But they do not realize that they've transformed into a beautiful butterfly, that they can now fly, and witness much more than their chrysalis. So maybe, your new self will love the same things as before, or maybe you’ll find new, better things to love that you would have not known before. But in either way, your heart is beautiful. That is what matters, no?”

A small pout draws on your lips, your eyebrows scrunched as you gaze at him.

“You have a very tender soul, Hyunjin.”

Your words linger in Hyunjin's mind long after the sunrise, as you lay peacefully asleep on his bed. The melody of the instrumental he produced continues to play faintly in the background, serving as a gentle lullaby that eases you into slumber, entwined in his sheets, your arms wrapped protectively around yourself, one hand cradling your shoulders and the other resting gently on your stomach. The image sears into his eyes as he sketches the outlines of a figure holding itself absentmindedly, long into the night.

Hyunjin has had his fair share of compliments, mostly pertaining to his face, and others to his craft. but it is you who seems to have sensed that a part of his soul resided in his art, that he left pieces of his heart hidden in the notes he composes and the lyrics he writes, hoping they’ll find soft hands that will take care of them, just like your own.

Five days later.

hyunjin [11:34 p.m.]: are you home?

yn [11:34 p.m.]: yeahh, do you need anything?

hyunjin [11:35 p.m.]: come downstairs, im waiting for youu

if you say no i’ll freeze to death..

hurry i can’t feel my fingers anymore (please please) ㅠㅠㅠ

“This better be a life and death situation Hwang Hyunjin,” you say threateningly as soon as you appear before Hyunjin, causing him to straighten up from the wall he was leaning against.

“It is a very dangerous life-altering situation that requires your immediate assistance, indeed,” he responds solemnly, ushering you gently to his car and opening the door for you.

“Which is?” you ask as soon as he settles inside the car and he simply grins at you, his left dimple coming forth like the very sun on a gloomy day.

“You’ll see.”

Hyunjin’s eyes fleet to your figure every now and then, but you do not seem to notice, your gaze lost into the blurring lights ahead. He can tell you're still not entirely yourself, so he was prepared to forcibly drag you along with him. He’s almost surprised you accepted to come down so easily.

“Is that… Seungmin?” you speak suddenly, pointing to a man waving in the distance, as Hyunjin parks his car near an empty field.

“And Changbin? And Minho?” you continue, squinting your eyes, “and a bonfire?” you giggle with a hint of excitement.

“You love s’mores during the winter, right?”

Hyunjin smiles, your soul softens.

“I do,” you say quietly, “I really do.”

You quickly exit the car, running into Seungmin's arms with a grin of disbelief plastered on your face. “This is insane,” you almost shout, squeezing him tight in a hug.

“It was so hard to find the perfect middle of nowhere for this,” Minho grumbles as you move to greet him, but the warmth of his embrace assures you he's only teasing.

“Thank you,” you say with a smile as you hug Changbin, who affectionately ruffles your hair. “It was Hyunjin’s idea,” he reveals, and you glance back at Hyunjin, who stands with his hands buried deep within his sweatpants behind you. You mouth a silent “thank you” to him, but he shakes his head modestly as if it is nothing to bring happiness to a bruised heart.

The night unfolds in endless laughter, with Minho and Hyunjin taking turns roasting marshmallows over the crackling bonfire, and Seungmin serving you hot coffee to keep your hands warm. Your stomach aches from the uncontrollable fits of giggles that overtook your being as Minho recounts the time he danced so vigorously on stage for his dance club that he ripped his pants, feeling a breeze where there shouldn't be one; and Changbin tells you the story of the time his voice cracked in the middle of a rap battle, and how none of the boys stopped teasing him about it for months to come.

And as the four of them take turns making you laugh, a quiet, tender realization dawns on you—you are loved. It is something he tried to convince you was impossible, that no one around truly cared for you but him. And even then, you weren’t deserving of his love whole, only scrapes of it, as if you were a beggar tugging at the outskirts of his heart.

But Hyunjin reminded you otherwise. And if your friends found something worthy of love within you then perhaps so will you again, one day.

“Did you have fun?” Hyunjin asks as he opens the door to his, your, apartment hours later. What he doesn't expect is for you to respond by wrapping your arms around his slender torso, squeezing tight in gratitude.

“Thank you,” you whisper and he nods, though you cannot see him, returning the embrace by wrapping his arms around your shoulder blades.

Hyunjin doesn't let go first, sensing that perhaps you need this hug more than he does. He smiles as your eyes meet his again, but his grin falters when he notices your gaze flickering towards your bedroom, a hint of unease clouding your expression. It's as if behind that door lie monsters only you can grasp, wearing the faces of people you once knew, once loved.

“Wanna stay with me while I work on the song?”

“Last time I ended up sleeping on your bed,” you say a bit shamefully, recalling the morning you woke up to find yourself covered with a thick blanket that wasn’t there before, alone in Hyunjin's room.

“It's okay,” he shrugs, “I missed sleeping on the couch.”

You stare pointedly at him and he chuckles, “Fine, I did not miss it. But you needed the sleep, so it’s okay with me.”

“Fine,” you concede, though you did not need much convincing for it. “But only if you promise you’ll wake me up if I end up falling asleep again.”

Hyunjin tilts his head, thinking to himself for a few seconds before shaking his head stubbornly, a small pout drawn on his face, his eyes semi-closed. “No.”

“Hyunjin!”

“Nu-uh,” he insists, shaking his head once more as he walks back towards his room. “I'm waiting for you!”

“I'm not coming!”

But you do eventually join him, after changing your clothes and washing your face. You find Hyunjin clad in beige and white checkered pajamas, his glasses pushing back his silky hair as he hunches over his journal, scribbling away before erasing what he wrote.

“Struggling with lyrics?” you ask, leaning against the wall and he startles. “Do you float on the ground? Why can I never hear you come in?”

“Or maybe you just love being dramatic,” you sing-song, laying atop his bed, much more at ease than the previous night.

Hyunjin sticks his tongue out childishly in response, and you playfully mimic the gesture before both of you dissolve into happy giggles.

“Kind of,” he explains once you both settle down, “I have this specific feeling in mind that I need to convey.”

“You'll do well,” you reassure softly, “your lyrics are always so beautiful. Remember Cover me?” you smile and he scratches the back of his ear, a shy grin spreading across his face.

“You still listen to it?” he asks and you nod eagerly, attempting to belt into Seungmin’s ending high note. You fail horribly and Hyunjin throws a crumpled piece of paper on your face to get you to stop singing.

“My poor ears,” he laughs loudly, and you retaliate by throwing back a pillow on his head.

“You just don’t get my artistic abilities.”

“I’d get them more if you stayed silent.”

You gasp, faking offense as you stand up to tickle Hyunjin on his chair, he starts squirming immediately, his loud giggles spilling all over the room, coating it in vibrant hues of happiness, and you’re suddenly captivated by the sight of him— his head thrown back, a golden lock framing his laughter-filled eyes, his top lowering slightly to reveal glimpses of his collarbones and the delicate veins that trace enticing paths on his neck.

You pause, your hand hovering over the side of his stomach, as a long-forgotten warmth spreads through your heart, like the first rays of dawn greeting the earth after a long winter night. It doesn’t diffuse quickly through your being, but rather drapes like sticky honey on your veins, making you well aware of your growing blush, of how beautiful Hyunjin is in his joy.

“Never singing to you again,” you clear your throat, laying atop his bed once again, and quickly reaching for your phone, anything to avoid his eyes which rival the crescent moon outside his window.

Hours pass before a warm hand gently settles on your shoulder, rousing you from your slumber. Blinking away the fog of sleep, you find Hyunjin leaning over you, his grin wide and infectious. “Wake up,” he whispers, but you only groan, burying your face deeper into his pillow.

He doesn’t yield, taking hold of your wrist and guiding your drowsy figure upright, before wrapping the blanket snugly around your shoulders. Without a word, he leads you out onto his balcony, carefully putting his neon green beanie on your head to shield you from the cold.

“It’s snowing!” he smiles, and his excited tone manages to dissipate the fog in your mind. You blink repeatedly and soon enough, you too behold the fallen snowflakes, each one resembling a tiny speck of light bidding farewell to the sky to greet the earth.

“You missed the first snow so I didn’t want you to miss this one too,” he explains, and his thoughtfulness blankets you with a warmth that seeps into every crevice in your body, drips down your fingertips and makes the cold of 4 a.m. seem less harsh, less biting to the touch.

You don’t know how to say thank you, because those two words don’t encapsulate the depths of gratitude that you feel for Hyunjin. Because he is speaking to the person within you who still loves snow, the part buried underneath layers of dust from a ground heartbreak. But you still manage to hear him, and you squeeze his hand tightly, and he doesn’t let go until you finally do.

❁ ❁ ❁

Remembering has become easier for you these past two months— both the good and the bad. And each day, the scale tips towards one side or the other. Sometimes you recall the suffocation you felt with him, the feeling that no matter what you did you could never please him, that your hands were crafted to break rather than mend. And on those days your wound grows, it throbs and bleeds different emotions.

Sometimes it's anger— at him for treating your heart so carelessly as if you were a being devoid of feeling. And then at you— for staying, for giving him excuses and desperately searching for goodness within him, for the one redeeming quality that would convince you he was worth the pain.

And other days bring an excruciating sadness along, a weight that presses down upon you until you're paralyzed. Because you feel bad for yourself and for everything you went through. Because you’re unsure how to rise when unseen hands push you deeper into the abyss.

And on these days, Seungmin becomes your anchor. He buys your favorite food, skips classes with you, and takes you to your favorite gardens. He talks and he talks and you try your best to laugh because you do not wish to worry him more. It is enough to be your own burden, you do not wish to burden him too.

But when he drops you home, your facade slips away, the smile fading from your face as if it were never truly yours to wear. You are too tired to pretend so you don’t, and Hyunjin doesn’t let you, either. He brews you tea and orders takeout because he knows you lack the energy for cooking. He goes with you on walks and drapes you in pieces of his clothing— scarves and beanies and gloves because he knows you couldn’t care less about a cold when there is a frost coating your bones. He lets you sit in his room while he works on his songs, and while he paints. Sometimes you talk and often you don't need to. But he’s there. He's there with you.

But you also remember the good. You remember your movie night with the boys, Hyunjin building an entire fort for you, adorned with twinkling lights and the softest blankets. How you watched movies until 5 a.m. your bodies so closely huddled together that there was no room left for sadness.

You recall Hyunjin begging you to build a snowman with him at the crack of dawn, the two of you collapsing in fits of laughter as you threw snowballs at one another, your footsteps marking the fresh fallen snow.

You remember being so exhausted after one of your showers that you simply laid atop the couch, gaze fixed on the void, too drained to even untangle the knots in your hair. Yet, it is not the tiredness that you exactly recall, nor the salty tears you shed underneath the scorching water jet. But it is Hyunjin's tender hands as he brushed through your hair, his fingers tracing the nape of your neck, his knuckles ghosting over the slate of your shoulder. You remember whispering that it was a particularly hard day and Hyunjin understanding. You remember him watching many YouTube tutorials to prepare your favorite seaweed soup, only for it to end up being too salty. But you still ate it all, because he made it for you, to lift your wounded spirits. And that alone was enough for it to taste good.

You remember your heart hardening then softening again, breaking then stitching itself back together, closing off then blooming like flowers on the first day of spring. You remember smiling only to cry then smile again. And you remember liking snow, a bit more than you thought you would. Because Hyunjin was there, holding your trembling hand, steadying it enough for you to rewrite your memories with winter.

So, you want to say thank you.

You do not wish to spell it out, because there are too many things to thank Hyunjin for and too few words to do so. Instead, you drag him to the farmer’s market near your home, and you tell him to help you pick flowers.

“I could be in bed watching my favorite show and yet here I am bestowing you with my enchanting presence,” he sighs, not too modestly, as you both eye the array of colorful blooms.

“Okay, Shakespeare, are you done?” you roll your eyes, attempting your best to hide your grin.

“Done annoying you? Never. These are very pretty,” he adds, pointing to the white roses in full bloom, their delicate petals emitting a sweet fragrance into the air.

“I agree, what else should we add?” you ponder, picking out four roses.

“Mm, Hibiscus? The red in the center is so vibrant,” he suggests, taking out his phone to capture the flower.

“Cute. Baby breath’s would look good too,” you say as you gather the flowers, heading to the cashier with Hyunjin trailing behind, still admiring the delicate blooms.

“Can I write a note?” you ask the middle-aged man as he wraps the bouquet in a powder blue paper.

“Sure,” he replies with a smile, and you return the gesture, quickly jotting down your words.

“Are you done?” Hyunjin grins when you return to his side and you nod, exiting the flower shop.

“What do you think?” you ask, angling the bouquet towards him.

“It's beautiful.”

“It’s yours,” you smile, growing shier at the intensity of his gaze as it lands on you, then the flowers, then on you again. “Take it,” you hand it to him, your cheeks flushing like the hibiscus’s crimson core.

“Actually?” he says softly, his fingers trembling slightly as he accepts the flowers and you nod in response. You bite your lip as you watch him take out the note, his eyes softening once he reads the words inscribed in it— thank you for making my winter less cold.

“Should we go?” you say a tad too cheerfully, turning away, but Hyunjin grabs your wrist, spinning you around once more. His fingers trail up your arm, coming to rest gently on your cheek as he leans down to plant a tender kiss there.

“Thank you,” he murmurs, his lips lingering against your skin for a moment longer than necessary. You think that if his soft lips grace your skin a few times more, your nerve endings might forget the harshness they were subjected to. If his gentle hands remain on your cheeks, then maybe, your heart would heal quicker, better. Maybe your past self that you long for would emerge again, maybe Hyunjin would be able to unearth it.

Your hopeful thoughts disappear as quickly as they arrive, overshadowed by a sense of helplessness that crashes over you, all of the sudden. You sense him before you hear him, the familiar anxiety that is only synonymous with your ex’s presence.

“Yn?” the sound of your name feels harsher in his mouth, the syllables spat out rather than spoken tenderly, as they are when Hyunjin pronounces it. Your veins run cold as his voice pierces the air, your heart skipping three beats at once before plummeting to your knees. You wrap your hand around Hyunjin’s forearm instinctively, and he looks down at you, his expression morphing into one of concern.

You’re unsure of what he sees in you— whether it is your pale face, the quiver of your lower lip, or the fear that has coated all your features— but his eyes harden, his brows furrowing as he gazes at the man behind you.

You refuse to turn around, bracing yourself for his next words. “Yn,” he repeats his tone laced with anger, his fingertips grazing your arm as if intending to force you to face him. But before he can touch you, Hyunjin intervenes, swiftly stepping in between you and your ex, shielding you with his own body protectively.

“Leave,” Hyunjin's voice is cold, dripping with a venomous edge you've never heard from him before, his jaw clenching with barely contained fury.

“Is this your new shiny toy, Yn?” your ex taunts and his voice cuts through your being against your will, triggering a flood of memories you've tried so desperately to suppress. Memories of his cruelty, his manipulation, and the pain he inflicted upon you—using your love as a weapon to bolster his own ego.

“What's in it for you?” you find your voice again, though it trembles when you speak. He is the very embodiment of your pain and everything you loathe about yourself. You wish for the ground to swallow you whole, for a bolt of lightning to strike the earth, anything to spare you from facing him.

“It's only been three months, I didn't know you were a whore.”

Hyunjin's fist connects with his cheek before you can register his words. It all unfolds so rapidly that you barely have time to comprehend it. Your ex staggers back, blood trickling from the cut on his lip, while Hyunjin stands before you, his chest heaving with restrained anger, his right hand clenched into a fist, the bouquet still held tightly in the other.

“Fine, I deserved it,” your ex chuckles, his voice laced with mockery as he wipes the blood from his lip. His gaze meets yours briefly behind Hyunjin's back.

“You might not be a whore but you are unlovable, keep that in mind.” He spits out before walking away, crude words that tear at every scab covering your wounds, reopening them with a brutal force. Hyunjin moves to follow him, but you grab his shirt, pulling him back.

“He’s not worth it,” you murmur.

Your words seem to snap Hyunjin out of his haze as he turns to look at you, worry cast across his figure. He moves to cradle your cheeks but you step back, refusing to meet his eyes. He swallows thickly, clutching the bouquet in his hands. “Are you okay?”

You let out a heavy sigh, your shoulders slumping as you shake your head slightly. “Let's just go home,” you whisper, eyes fleeting to his for a split second. All the lights in your gaze are muted.

You’re crumbling before him once again and he cannot stop it, no matter how much he yearns to.

It's long past midnight when you find yourself seated on the floor of your living room, a bottle of red wine placed between you and Hyunjin. You exchange it wordlessly, taking turns sipping from it, the alcohol warming your insides but doing little to ease the ache in your heart. You don’t exactly recall when Hyunjin sat next to you, but you don’t mind. You were too lost in your own thoughts to even register his presence.

“Yn,” he calls out softly and you hum absentmindedly, memories of when your ex spoke your name haunting you, each time he yelled your name, uttered it in disdain as if it was the starting point of everything wrong with you.

“Talk to me, please?” he pleads, angling his body towards your own. But you refuse to meet his eyes and Hyunjin’s heart twists in his chest. He is afraid of all the ugly thoughts that must roam your mind. He wishes he could enter it, open the windows wide, and usher the light in.

“I'm sorry you were dragged into this,” you say, your gaze fixated on the bouquet placed atop the table. The crimson painted on the hibiscus’ petals reminds you of the blood that spilled from your ex’s mouth, and your gaze fleets to Hyunjin's hand, slightly bruised from the punch.

“Don’t apologize,” he whispers, “there is nothing to be sorry for.”

It’s as though you don’t hear him, your fingers trailing gently across his scraped knuckles, tears pooling in your eyes the more you stare at his hand.

“Does it hurt?” you ask, voice thick with emotion, and Hyunjin’s quick to shake his head. “No, don’t worry about it. He deserved it.”

“You didn’t deserve to be hurt.”

“Neither did you.”

Your disbelieving scoff that follows scares him. What if you’re slipping away into a dark place yet again, one void and barricaded, in which the only sound that echoes is your ex’s hurtful words? What if he can’t reach you again?

“If the only person I’ve ever loved says I’m unlovable then maybe I am.”

You’re drunk, you wouldn’t have said such an ugly thing otherwise, wouldn’t have allowed this sentiment to materialize into the air, to take a tangible form apart from your abstract thoughts.

“No,” Hyunjin says in a panic as though he’s trying to quickly pull the brakes on your free-railing thoughts. He cups your face between his palms, your tears falling freely atop his hands but he does not move away.

“No,” he repeats, more calmly this time. “How he treated you is a reflection of who he is. And how you see him is a reflection of who you are. And you wanted him to be loving because you’re full of love. You wanted him to be good because you are a good person. And he can’t stomach that, can’t stomach that you are happy without him so he’s trying to ruin you again.”

“Hyunjin…” you shake your head but he only inches closer to you, his thumbs gently caressing your cheekbones. “No, listen to me. Seungmin loves you so much he couldn’t eat properly for the first few days you stayed here, texted me all the time asking me how you were and if you were feeling better. He isn't good with words so instead he tries to make you laugh. He wishes he could give up parts of his happiness for you.”

A sob swells within you but Hyunjin presses on. “And Minho, he tried to memorize all your favorite recipes so he could cook them for you. It isn’t a coincidence that every time we go over to their dorm it is your favorite food that we eat. He takes more pictures of his cats these days so he could send them to you because he knows it cheers you up.”

“You told me Changbin doesn’t know you well enough to fight for you but when we saw your ex across the campus one day he wanted to get up and beat him. He always asks me if you are well and if there is something he can do for you, anything.”

He inhales deeply, tears welling up in his eyes as well. “And me…” a tender smile graces his lips as he gazes at you, “you make this house a home. I feel like my true self when you are around and loneliness doesn’t come to me as often as it did. Because you are here. You are like a beam of sunlight that lightens up every life you touch, mine first,” he’s baring his soul to you, vulnerable yet resolute. “So tell me, Yn, what’s not to love in you when you yourself are so full of love?”

“Hyune,” you speak the nickname for the first time, and Hyunjin’s heart thrashes achingly around his ribcage. “If you keep talking like this I might end up loving you,” you smile sadly at him as if it is a terrible thing to be loved by you.

“But I don’t want to love you, because I won’t know how to, not anymore. So I'll end up leaving. And I'll long for you, and I don't think I can stomach longing for you from afar.”

“So please,” you place one hand atop his own, wipe away the lone tear rolling down his cheek. “Don’t make me love you, hm? You deserve more than to be loved by someone like me.”

You leave Hyunjin in the living room, alone before the white flowers you gifted him. He doesn’t want to put them away in a vase, for as soon as he grabbed them from your hold, everything around you both crumbled. So he leaves them there for the night, the creamy white petals aglow underneath the moonlight. He spends the night painting the bouquet from memory, but the petals end up too tinged with red, perhaps mirroring the blood his heart refuses to stop spilling still.

He did not realize it before, maybe he blinded himself so he wouldn’t see what was before him all along. But it is all the clearer to him now— that in his attempts to make you love winter again, Hyunjin only ended up loving you.

A week later.

hyune [1:25 a.m.]: i miss you

You and Hyunjin spent the last seven days avoiding one another, well you more than him. He just understood your silent plea when you took a step back the one time he tried to talk to you in the kitchen, swallowing thickly before inching away, allowing you to move past him.

You did not know how to face him after what he said, partly because you were embarrassed by your own response, mostly because even in your drunken daze, his words etched themselves permanently into your memory.

It is his reassuring words that echoed in your brain for the past week, not those of your ex.

hyune [1: 26 a.m.]: and i miss sleeping on the couch

You giggle, shaking your head before replying.

yn [1:26 a.m.]: no you don’t

hyune [1:26 a.m.]: no i don’t ㅠㅠ

but i finished the song

wanna hear?

Walking to Hyunjin’s room feels as familiar as going into your own. And when your gaze finally meets his you can’t help but break into a relieved smile. It was foolish of you to punish yourself, enough people have done that for you already.

“Hey,” he greets tentatively, and you respond with an awkward wave, a moment pregnant with anticipation passes before both of you dissolve into laughter.

“What is this? Are we in middle school,” he teases and you giggle, settling comfortably on his bed once more.

“I know. We are so lame.”

“You are,” he corrects with a grin and you gasp, pretending to leave but he quickly catches your hand, stopping you. “No, please stay. I meant it when I said that I missed you,” he repeats quietly, as if afraid that his confession would make you run away once again.

Your heart aches, the knots in your stomach tightening and unraveling all at once. “I missed you too,” you admit softly, and he smiles, his thumb tracing a gentle path above your pulse before releasing your hand.

“So it's done then?” you ask and he nods, running a hand through his hair with a hint of anxiety. “How do you feel about it?”

“Good. I hope you’ll like it, mostly.”

“I'm sure I will,” you reassure him with a soft smile, and he nods once more, pressing a few buttons before his melodious whistles fill the air once again.

Nothing could have braced you for the sound of Hyunjin's voice that followed, its timbre soft as silk yet imbued with profound sorrow. It's as though he recorded the song on one of his loneliest nights, his honeyed vocals dipped in an excruciating nostalgia that seeps into every corner of the room, every corner of your heart.

In the faded photo, I come across a smile spread across a youthful face, overlapped with the seasons.

Your gaze flickers to Hyunjin as a shadow of recollection dawns on you. You remember telling him that you couldn’t stomach looking at pics of your past, ones in which you smiled so freely because you were blissfully unaware of what was to come.

The night’s so cold that it’s almost unreal.

Because you weren’t aware of the winter that will follow and the biting cold that it would bear, for everything that will go astray in your relationship, for your ex's facade to crack like a glacier succumbing to the pressure of lies and pretense.

I wake up in another silence, and I close my eyes.

You remember Hyunjin confessing that silence haunted him more than words ever could, and you had agreed, sharing how sometimes you shut your eyes, pretending that the reality you woke up to wasn't the one you were living.

The white flower we planted together has bloomed. I do not dare pick it. Now it withers away.

You gaze at the white flowers you brought him, now wilted in the vase placed on his desk, yet Hyunjin refuses to throw them still. You see the card you wrote for him hung on the wall, right next to the dried red rose. He kept it. Though it withered, he kept it all.

So I long for you. And I long for you. And I'll long for you.

You remember the longing you both spoke of, how he understood a feeling you felt so incredibly alone in. How he tried to reassure you when he too was caught in the webs of the past. How you longed for him in the past week. How you wished he longed for you just the same.

So I can keep loving you. So I could be loving you. And morе.

The violin swells and so does the emotion in your chest. You remember him asking you ‘What’s not to love in you’ and how you've spun those words in your thoughts ever since. You remember thinking that if he gave you a few more weeks, just a bit more time, you might have found it in you to believe them.

You see Hyunjin’s glimmering eyes holding yours, you see his heart atop a platter handed to you, and you see the resignation in his being. Don’t make me love you, you told him. You didn’t dare to tell him not to love you in return, deemed it too foolish of thought to entertain.

For he was Hwang Hyunjin, the quiet producer who paints in his free time and who wears his heart on his sleeve. Who remains hopeful, loving, and tender, despite the thorns pricking at his side. Who is beautiful, so much so that he allowed you to see beauty in the universe once again, through his eyes.

How could he love you?

How could you not love him?

“The song,” you whisper, the words barely escaping your lips as you stand, trembling, on your feet. Hyunjin rises too, meeting you in the center of his room.

“It is about you. For you,” he says simply as if his words don’t cause your world to burst at the seams only to mend itself once again, too eager to fix itself and exist in the same timeline as Hyunjin.

“I don't… I don’t know what to say,” you say earnestly, feeling your heart pound in your chest, its beats resounding loudly in your ears.

It is wrong of you to assume he wishes you to say something. He is Hyunjin, the one who finds words in your silences too, after all.

“I don’t need you to say anything,” he shakes his head, taking another step closer to you. “I don't want an answer, I don't wish to pressure you. I just wanted to tell you that my love is here, it is yours to take or to leave, to cherish or to discard. But it is yours, because this is who I am. I am someone who loves you.”

“So do not tell me to forget you because I don't know how to. And don’t tell me that you’ll leave because I will love you still, because you’d still be you, near or far, you are you. And you are someone I long for.” He pauses, his voice softening. “And I long for you, Yn, more than anything I've ever longed for. And I've spent all my life longing.”

His lips meet your forehead tenderly, and you feel your entire being grow limp at the chaste kiss, as if your limbs wish to liquefy and form a puddle on the floor. His touch is soft, and you miss it the moment he parts from you.

“There must be something in this room that keeps on making you cry,” he smiles and you bring your hands to your damp cheeks, surprised to find there tears you didn’t realize had fallen.

“It’s you,” you pinch his arm playfully and he squirms away from your hold, stabbing his toe on the desk in the process. A loud fuck echoes around the room, and your laughter dissipates the tension clinging into the air.

“Can you play it again?” you request softly and Hyunjin’s theatrics fade as a shy smile tugs at the corner of his lips.

“Is it good?”

“It's everything to me.”

“It's called ‘long for you’, by the way.”

“Long for you,” you repeat quietly. There has never been a prettier combination of words.

The title all but makes sense as you lay on the bed, your gaze fixed on the paintings hung on the wall, Hyunjin sketching quietly on his desk, the song resonating softly in the background. You've longed for many things in your life—the person you once were and the tender love you once craved—but amidst it all, nothing has weighed heavier on your heart than the longing for the man sitting just two meters away, almost in your loving grasp. Almost.

❁ ❁ ❁

It is an excruciating five days that Hyunjin spends apart from you, the both of you too caught up in your assignments to find a moment to properly speak. But you do not shy away from him when he greets you, and your grin is kind as it drapes across his being, and Hyunjin swears he has never seen a prettier sight than you smiling.

On the sixth night, Hyunjin completes the cover for the song— a figure wrapped around itself protectively, mirroring the way you hug yourself in your sleep. He hangs it on the wall, right next to your thank you card and the white bouquet he drew once again, wishing to properly immortalize its beautiful flowers, to purify that memory from the tumult that followed it.

On the sixth night, the house is quiet, the full moon high up in the sky, snowflakes falling softly to the ground. Hyunjin wonders if you too mimicked the snow’s descent— both of you falling apart with it.

But then, there’s a knock on his door.

His heart catches in his throat, his body freezing as if it forgot how to move. You are here.

“Come in,” he manages to say, his voice barely above a whisper. You push the door open, and Hyunjin's words wilt on his tongue as he sees what you're carrying—another bouquet, filled with white flowers, yet again.

“Hey,” you smile, standing by the door.

He remains silent, unsure of what to say, or how to speak. He longs for you when you are away, even more so when you’re before him.

“We shouldn't let these white flowers wither away too, right?” you smile slightly, placing the bouquet on the desk before walking to Hyunjin’s bedside. His voice falters, vocal cords refusing to move and overshadow your voice.

You sit beside him, gently pulling his hand so that you’d both lie on the pillows. Your hand doesn’t leave his own, instead, it moves to rest on his cheek, reminiscent of the many times he had cradled your face before. Inch by inch, you close the gap between you, nuzzle the tip of your nose against his own. “Hi, Hyune”, you say softly, and he swallows thickly, his voice coming out just as quietly.

“Hi, my Yn.”

“If we take care of the white flowers together do you think they’ll survive a bit longer?” you ask, your gaze never wavering from his, countless stars twinkling in the depths of your irises.

“I believe so,” he says tentatively, too aware of the warmth of your palm against his skin, of the sweet ache unfurling within his being.

“Mm, and even if they wilt we can always buy new ones. We can learn how to care for them better, with time,” you say, and he nods in agreement, laying his hand atop your own, tilting his head to bestow a chaste kiss on your palm.

“With time,” he echoes softly and you smile, vulnerable yet secure in his gray sheets, in his hold.

“Will you give me time too?” you ask, and Hyunjin reads in your eyes what you mean, understands in the shake of your voice the question you are too afraid to voice. Will he give you time to heal in order to love?

“As long as you need. I’m not going anywhere,” he reassures, pressing his forehead gently atop yours, and you both close your eyes, as a running warmth encloses you both, blooms a blush on both your cheeks.

His arms wrap around your back, drawing you close until your chests are pressed together, your head resting naturally in the curve of his neck. And it is long forgotten in your mind, all the nights you slept in this very bed alone. You feel safe, safe enough to long for love knowing that it patiently awaits you behind the door, once you find enough courage to turn the doorknob. You feel serene, as Hyunjin’s warm palms glide soothingly up and down your spine, as every muscle, every nerve, every atom in your being relaxes in his hold.

You are healing, slowly, with each fleeting second that passes in which Hyunjin’s heartbeat resounds within your chest, as its melody runs through your veins, melds with your own as if it was destined to be there all along. As you rest in Hyunjin, as you find a safe home within his soul to discard your worries at the doorstep and breathe.

“It did get better,” you whisper, pressing a kiss to his shoulder blade. “Hm?” He leans back to look at you, and he’s so beautiful, so tender as he gazes at you, you can’t help but trace the contours of his face with your fingers, hoping to commemorate him with your eyes, with your touch.

“You promised me it’ll get better, and it did,” you smile, as your legs further intertwine with his, and his rose perfume becomes an indelible mark on your skin. “Too bad I can't hit your pretty face now,” you joke and he giggles, tipping his head back.

He's so beautiful, body and soul, and he longs for you, you alone.

“But I can still do this,” you murmur before finally pressing your lips against his like a boat finally reaching the shore after months of sailing. You both exhale, in yearning, in relief, as your mouths move together in a slow, languid dance, his hand finding the pulse on your neck, yours settling atop his jaw.

He would kiss you again, this intimately, in the coming months, when your heart expands enough to contain the love Hyunjin deserves. He would kiss you again, when your past comes to haunt you, and healing sounds like an elusive myth you’d never encounter in your life.

And he would kiss you again, over the kitchen table and under the fridge’s light, in between paintings and in supermarket aisles, while picking flowers and watching the first snow.

He would kiss you, this tenderly, in the next winter, and the ones after it, as if his longing for you never wanes. Till blow three disappears from your memory, till all you remember is the love, the true one, the kind one, the soft one Hyunjin alone could have brought you.

A sun and a moon

pairing: minho x reader, pre-established relationship.

genre: hurt/comfort. reader is going through a rough patch.

On days when the mere thought of breathing gets tiring, Minho makes it feel a bit easier.

Please let me know if you enjoyed reading, it means a lot to me <3

-------------

It was one of those weeks when you woke up every day feeling out of place. In your home, in your mind, in your body.

You never really understood why you'd start feeling this way. It would happen out of the blue, and you'd be forced to carry the heavy weight of your insecurities with you throughout the day.

On days like these, you'd wish you'd be able to crawl out of your skin, float in the air, and not feel anything. You'd give everything to quiet the thoughts in your head that criticize your every move- the way you walk, the way you talk, the way you breathe.

Minho would always notice- how you wither down like a flower that was left to fend for itself, rootless. You'd become quiet, afraid that if you ever spoke, you'd break down and he'd be forced to pick up your shattered pieces. You didn't want to be a burden for him, you wanted to be easy to love.

And when Minho noticed, he didn't comment. Because he knew that part of being human is feeling down, and that it can't always be sunshine and roses. But what he didn't convey in words, he did in actions. He would kiss your forehead randomly, his fingers threading gently through your hair. He'd make you lunch, drawing a smiley face on the rice with sauce. He'd bring you water, making sure you drank it all, patting your head when you are done.

He wouldn't talk, but his gestures spoke for him- they were telling you, 'I know, I know you are not feeling like yourself and I still love you'.

But you couldn't voice your gratitude or your love for him. And it made you resent yourself more. You'd spiral down, and you'd start to think that he deserves someone else, someone better. Someone who doesn't sit on a couch unmoving; selfishly hoping that the universe would pass on their insecurities to somebody else.

"I'm sorry", you mutter on a particularly draining night, and he frowns, placing his chopsticks down.

"I'm sorry you are stuck with me. You deserve better", you slip out, angry tears welling up in your eyes. You don't even know why you spoke. Maybe it was the sight of the dinner he made you left untouched, because you couldn't bring yourself to eat it.

He's quick to your side, kneeling in front of you and holding your hand in his. "There is no one better, sweetheart. There is only you", he reassures, his tone so soft it makes you cry even more.

His warm hand in yours doesn't make the insecurities go away, but for a minute, your mind forgets. It allows you a moment of solace- like a rainbow that comes once in a while to remind you that the sun will shine again.

That night in bed, Minho pulls your body toward his, your back snug against his chest.

"You know, they say that the moon and the sun are lovers", he starts off, tone hushed. "And they say that one day, the sun started to notice how soft the moon's light is, compared to its own warm rays. And how lovers always write poems about the moon, when no one can look at the sun for too long", he pauses, and you nod to show him you are listening.

"And the sun thinks, maybe... maybe the moon deserves a better star to love". He's talking about you, you realize. You are the sun and he is the moon.

"But... what the sun doesn't know is that the moon only shines because it reflects the sun's light. The moon wouldn't be the moon without the sun. Just like I would be nothing without you, my love".

Minho kisses the back of your head, and you shake in his arms, your sobs resounding loudly in the room. "I am who I am because of you", he whispers right in your ear, hugging you even tighter to him.

Right now, you aren't okay, and Minho's words don't fix everything. But they are the light at the end of the tunnel, so you clutch onto them. You store them in a sacred cabinet in your mind, in the wait of the day where you'll wholeheartedly believe them.

It will happen soon, you think to yourself. Soon, you'll be okay again, and Minho will still be by your side.

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kiminis

9 months ago

I LOST THE JAKE FIC I WAS READING WTAFWTQGFWFWFWF

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kiminis

2 years ago

❣︎ ⎯⎯ moving in .

PAIRING ! yang jungwon x reader // GENRE ! domestic fluff // WC. ! 0.6k

PROMPT(S) ! 8. embracing them from behind ;; 18. putting a blanket on them ;; 20. making them food they like // requested by two lovely anons <3 // 2k followers event

A/N. ! and another one is posted 🤩 ,,,, also this isn’t proofread sorry sjdjdjd

“hi,” jungwon said softly beside your head as he wrapped his arms around your form from behind.

you two had just moved in together, and after a long day of moving heavy boxes, unpacking and organizing your belongings, your felt body slowly grew weaker and you heard your stomach growl. so as jungwon continued unpacking, you had slipped yourself out of the room and into the kitchen to make one of your and jungwon’s comfort foods, since you knew you both could use an energy boost at this time.

“what are you up to?” he asked, watching your hands work from over your shoulder, now resting his head on the side of yours.

“making our favourite,” you told him, a soft smile growing on both your and jungwon’s lips.

“can’t wait,” he said before placing a loving kiss on your cheek.

“wanna grab me some bowls? it’ll be ready in a few minutes.”

jungwon nodded at your request before quickly taking some bowls he had unpacked an hour ago from the cabinet, placing them near you on the counter.

“there you go,” he said, wrapping a quick arm around your waist and placing one more kiss on your cheek, causing you to smile before he let go and took a step and leaned his body on the counter to watch you from the side.

his eyes were filled with awe and his heart exploded with love for you that he couldn’t help but smile.

“what’s that grin for?” you asked amusingly.

“i just can’t believe we’re finally living together. we’ve been waiting for this moment for so long, and the time has finally come. it just feels so surreal and exciting. i get to be here, with the love of my life, and i’ll get to go to sleep tonight with you by my side and dream about you, all to wake up to that beautiful face in the morning. and i’ll get to do that every single day.”

“won,” you pouted sweetly, turning to him and walking over, immediately placing your lips on his.

at first he was slightly taken aback, but as you placed your chest on his and wrapped your hands around his neck, quickly, he relaxed from underneath you and wrapped his arms around your waist, kissing you back.

after many long seconds, you pulled back with a smile, and you found jungwon’s eyes in almost a daze, staring at your lips.

“food is ready, by the way,” you told him, pulling away, leaving him desperate for more before he blinked a couple times and stood up straight, grabbing the bowls of food so you wouldn’t have to and quickly brought it to the small coffee table that was newly placed in what was soon to be your living room.

you two sat yourselves closely on the couch, and jungwon quickly and excitedly dug in and let out a satisfied sound once the food hit his tongue.

he let out a sigh and looked at you, “i love you.”

you let out a small chuckle and placed a kiss on his lips.

“mmm–are you cold?” he asked, somehow able to feel the coolness from the touch of your lips on his.

“a little,” you answered, and he quickly got up, finding a blanket for you before hurrying back and placing it over your thighs.

he picked up a bowl and turned to you, feeding you to which you also let out a satisfied hum.

as he took a spoonful himself, you rested your head on his shoulder.

if this is what living with jungwon every day was going to be like, you would’ve moved in together so much earlier. you couldn’t wait for what was in store for your and jungwon’s future.

A/N. hope you enjoyed ^_^ interactions and feedback are always appreciated <3 thanks for reading <3

2K EVENT MASTERLIST.

TAGLIST FORM.

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