Yknow Kinda Something Special About The Fact That I Got A Cut On My Left Hand Ring Finger While Working

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Me finishing Agatha All Along: I love women

Me starting Rivals: I love men

If you're struggling to write sex, write food. if you're struggling to write food, write gore. if you're struggling to write gore, write sex. They're all variations on the same themes.

thinking about mel outside the pitt a lot

she has no interest in performing femininity. she hates the sensory experience of makeup on her skin, or tight glittery dresses, or, god forbid, curling her hair. she hates going to the salon (loud blowdryers, strangers touching her, eyes judging her when she stims and hums), so she trims her own hair herself (forgetting most times until her braid is too long and hits her waist).

she used to cut her hair very short in high school, a practical pixie cut, but becca always cried, upset by big changes, so she tries to keep it the same length now.

but she likes pretty things, collecting trinkets like a mockingbird. gold rings, clinking bracelets, a necklace with a deep green stone that kisses her breast bone. she barely wears them, but puts them on her window sill so she can see them gleam in the morning.

during the summer, she only wears loose flowy cotton dresses and linen baggy pants—anything else makes her skin hurt. she hates denim and corduroy, but loves cotton shorts and butter soft sweaters and long wool socks in a plethora of colors.

at home, she’s perpetually in shorts and a huge sweatshirt and fluffy slippers with rabbit ears

she lets becca play with her hair. frazzled space buns with colorful clips. twin bubbly braids with tiny butterfly hair pins. and she doesn’t mind nail polish—it’s soothing, the cool wet stroke of the brush, becca’s face wrinkled with concentration.

of course in the ED, she aims for comfort over fashion—boring orthopedic shoes and light t-shirts under her scrubs. she takes off the nail polish every morning with acetone wipes since it’s not allowed on shift.

(Frank sees her one day at a random restaurant with Becca and does a double-take because thats Mel King with twin buns in her hair and a huge band tee shirt and cotton shorts and dirty converse and it’s like now he knows this secret part of Mel, the Mel outside the ED.)

(She invites him to sit down and meet Becca. Every time they hang out after, on grocery store trips, in her tiny cluttered apartment, Frank looks forward to seeing what mishmash of clothes she’ll wear, discovering the books and jewelry on her shelves, the music posters on her walls.)

(And maybe, while walking with her through a park with his new dog, he touches her cottony skirt just barely with his fingertips and allows himself to want her—just for a second.)

Food Crime: Frosty the Slawman

so a while ago, I saw this photo going around on tumblr:

at first, I thought this was photoshopped. I mean, "welcome new man in your life"? that feels like a translation error, or someone being silly on purpose.

but guess what! turns out, Frosty Slaw Man is real!

and soon...he will be mine. let's get cooking

(full disclosure: I crafted this snowman and took notes about it over a year ago. and then, like with many things in my life, I forgot about him, and let him drift into the ADHD void of Things I'm Not Currently Staring At, where object permanence is tentative and largely unrealized.

but here we are! and here he is: the slaw man. it's time to share him with you, so that you can suffer as I have suffered, and/or rejoice in my gelatin creation!)

so this recipe photo originally came from Mid-Century Menu (archive link), a blog that seems like one after my own heart, and which once tried to make the Slaw Man (with not much success; but we'll get back to that)! but it's not just that blog that has copies of this ad. I also found it on reddit, and in a few different places on ebay!

lookit that guy! he's a real guy!

both the reddit post and some of the ebay listings say that this is from 1963 (though I haven't been able to figure out which magazines it was printed in, to confirm this for myself). but in looking this up, I discovered something else fun! there's another version of this ad!

Best Foods is what Hellmann's stuff is called on the west coast, and the "this is no place for second best" thing makes a lot more sense when you consider that the ad was probably made for Best Foods first, and then just reused and rebranded for the east coast

the more you know!

anyway the benefit of finding this alternate ad is that the scan on this image is a lot clearer, and so the recipe is more readable! and in looking at it, I've realized something important:

when Mid-Century Menu tried this recipe, they got an ingredient amount wrong.

when they made their beloved Slaw Man, they had the water amount written down as 1/4 cup, but looking at this scan up close, it is actually 3/4 cup of water! something that might make a significant difference, considering we're working with gelatin!

(there's also another change I want to make compared to what they did, when I do this recipe. but we'll get into that in a sec.)

for now: we begin

so. there's no way I'm making a Slaw Man this large. I am just one person, and considering the ingredients of this, I don't think I'm going to be able to consume that much Slaw.

two entire heads of cabbage? three pounds of cottage cheese, a thing that I don't even like to eat? no. that's a bad idea.

so I'm starting small here and making this 1/3 the size of the original:

2 packets of unflavored gelatin 1/4 cup cold water 1 cup mayo 1 tsp salt 1lb cottage cheese 4 cups shredded cabbage

surely this will result in a reasonable amount of Man

...okay, I started chopping the cabbage thinking it would be easier, but I've given up and pulled out a grater. this is much better! and somehow more violent (affectionate)

the recipe says to soften the gelatin in cold water, and then stir over hot water until it's dissolved. I'm going to assume "stir over hot water" means a double boiler, so let's do that

hmmm, the gelatin is very foamy? it’s melted, but the bottom of the pot feels really....sticky

okay. after a couple minutes more and no change, I’m calling this good enough.

so one thing that others who have attempted this recipe have not taken into consideration is the cottage cheese. you see, the others used normal cottage cheese, but the recipe says to use "cottage cheese, cream style"

I’ll be real, I’m not 100% what that means, since we don’t have that here. but I can take an educated guess! so let’s blend the cottage cheese!

(with an immersion blender. I am not willing to wash an actual blender because of this)

mmm, yes. very smooth

...actually. why isn't all cottage cheese like this? the thing I hate about cottage cheese is the texture, so why isn't it all smooth and creamy like this?? I could eat this!!

a new discovery is made every day in this house.

okay, time to start mixing things together.

ah, frosty. I opened a whole new thing of mayo for you! do you feel special?

(I'd make a "pre-dinner snack?" joke, but sometimes I think I'm the only one that remembers Regular Ordinary Swedish Meal Time)

okay, the mayo, cottage cheese, and salt have been added to the gelatin. but as this cools, the texture is getting...hmm. less than appealing.

lastly: the cabbage

oh. oh this is not very nice

next it says to pack the "salad" into a one pound container, and two six-cup bowls, but since I made this recipe so much smaller, I'm going to uhhhh. uh. find some bowls that seem like they'd be correct...snowman? proportions?

ah. this bowl is too big.

hey, these'll work!

now I just have to let them chill for a while, and continue another day.

(edit from current!me: ahhh oh my god I forgot this was pretty soon after we adopted Jackie! look at these cat pics that I took while I was food crime-ing!

look at them having their little interactions! Knuckles was trying so hard to be friends with her! I love them)

hello! two days later and we are ready to assemble the slawman. and my sibling has started referring to him as "frosty: attorney at slaw", so that's fun.

I've done a thing where, as these set, I flipped them around in the bowl so that hopefully they'd be more round. we'll see if they actually stay like this.

I have also made some decorations for him out of peppers, olives, and carrots!

let's build our boy

oh he's so heavy. and wobbly

no no no he almost fell over!!

okay. he's fine. but more skewers were needed.

and...okay. he is complete.

behold!

gaze upon my beautiful man!

(he is not structurally sound! he wobbles unsteadily as I rotate him! there are already cracks forming in the gelatin around where his arms are! don't worry about it!)

 now it's time to stab him

and...to devour him

this tastes like...a bland coleslaw? and not even that. it's just sort of a salty, cottage cheese-y cabbage. the ingredients don't combine to become something greater, they simply...sit there. like this.

and the texture is...mmm. it's not a jello kind of texture, but it is a bit squashy in a way that's mildly strange.

it's very creamy once it softens in your mouth.

...I don't like this!

and look! taking just that one chunk from him was enough to destabilize him entirely :(

RIP frosty. now I just have to see if I can eat all of you before you go bad.

(note from current!me: I could not.

 I ate maybe half of him over the course of many days, often adding other stuff to him to try to add some flavor: bacon, frozen peas, cheese, etc. but even with that, I just couldn't stomach him.

after a while I stuck what was left of him in the freezer, hoping that maybe I'd find the will to consume the rest of him some other day.

do you know what a frozen-and-then-thawed mixture of cabbage, cottage cheese, mayo, and gelatin looks and tastes like?

bad. the answer is: bad.

I threw him out pretty quickly after thawing him.

do not try this recipe at home)

How to make a bug kisser 😘🐛

listen I am enjoying building a long and rich life together for mel and langdon in my head despite only having short moments together on the screen. it is not about deserve or what's good for anyone. i do not care what morals you are inserting into it. it is entirely about wanting to see them kiss and knowing that they are fictional characters I can project whatever feelings onto that I want. personally, on the show, I want to see an excruciatingly long burn where they both grow as people together and then finally admit that they're in love and then maybe hold hands. but in my fan fic I wanna see them fuck nasty. I don't get why this is so egregious.

I like when my dreams reuse locations from past dreams. like oh cool we doin a bottle episode

some fucking resources for all ur writing fuckin needs

* body language masterlist

* a translator that doesn’t eat ass like google translate does

* a reverse dictionary for when ur brain freezes

* 550 words to say instead of fuckin said

* 638 character traits for when ur brain freezes again

* some more body language help

(hope this helps some ppl)

my toxic trait is simply not doing things if i don't want to do them