talking to myself out loud and disagreeing with myself every now and then so that the spirits lingering in the cold corners of my room don't accuse me of monolithic thinking
What did the author mean by the curtains being blue? Hi, literary expert here to help! Navy blue means anal sex but light blue means oral sex. Curtains on the left side of the window mean top but curtains on the right side mean bottom.
to this day possibly one of my best ideas. someone get me a pitch meeting with the hallmark channel
They hate her for being the funniest bitch alive
the people's princess
Taylor Dearden as Dr. Melissa King in THE PITT (2025-)
Dare I say this is Tumblr's greatest bit of all time
sorry i covered your neck in dark hickeys and clamped down hard on your throat like limp prey while i was giving you a handjob. you whimpered a little too soft and i blacked out and believed myself to be a feral dog in possession of an entire rotisserie chicken
writing a garbage essay feels like you’re the cow who gave birth to the two headed calf. in the morning, my professor will wrap him in newspaper and dissect him on a cold operating table. but here he is alive, under the pale glow of my computer screen. he is beautiful. there are twice as many logical fallacies as usual.
You ever just wake up from an incredibly graphic and realistic nightmare that was a pure psychological horror based on your own personal phobias and trauma and just roll over like “aw shit I got too hot last night I guess.” And then make toast like you didn’t just experience the nine circles of hell before 9 am