Latest Posts by jestlace - Page 2

The older generation's fixation on forcing you to have kids is something they absolutely refuse to unlearn. You can give the calmest and most reasonable explanation for not having kids and the only thing they can think to say is, "But what of the heir to the lands?" "Who will inherit the throne?" "Please sire upon your barren death there will be a parochial schism that will soak our soils with brother-blood." They literally hate to see you happy with just a cat.

Your boyfriend starts mumbling in Latin in his sleep and it scares the hell out of you but upon translation he’s introducing himself, inquiring on the price of grain, attempting to sell dormice, brainstorming silly Saturnalia gift ideas. In his sleep he somehow becomes a 1st century BC plebeian, of modest means but with a pleasant outlook on mundane life.

"how to prevent smile lines" there are a thousand more important things to do with your time than postpone evidence of life's joy on your face

'Revenge is bad' to YOU. i love when a character destroys everyone who wronged them. i love when they get to bite and maim and tear and rip and scratch and kill. Sorry ur catholic about it but i'm different

How are we doing today ladies. Are we still losing it. Are we going completely insane

What if the Truman show did a queerbait arc

people will say "why cant the eldritch gods just be nice to humans :((" and then kill a bug for existing near them

Reblog if you need this energy

source

umm i need reassurance that my presence is wanted but i can’t ask for reassurance because that’s really Embarrassing and it wouldn’t feel genuine if i asked for it

heeppy hoolida

when katsuki and izuku survive puberty and their moms can finally plan some joint family trips again yuppp

cult leader husbands

First time smut writer: Um. Hope this is OK? It's only a bit of smut at the very end of the epilogue and you can skip it, it's ok. So sorry, um. Oh dear me. Please don't judge me. Nobody read this omg what have I done 😳

Seasoned smut writer: *ringing bell* Come get uR PORNOGRAPHY! 10k pwp, it's KINKY AS HECK so share it with all your friends!!! If you've got any suggestions for my Kinktober just drop it in the comments, I will write whatever wet, messy & DOWNRIGHT FILTHY fic about these two idiots 👏

what’s shifty up to during weirdmageddon

this

My new song ‘toss me into the sun’ will be the antithesis to fly me to the moon

I don't fuck w nerds, the moment I can smell lore correction coming I'm like "Oh Neptune" and I gotta call my mom and ask her to pick me up

If I'm like "I really liked the scene where Gandalf learns the truth about the Ring in the first movie" and someone's like "Oh you mean when he was in Minas Tirith, originally known as Minas Anor when it was first built in the Third Age?" I am pulling the nearest fire alarm

You think THATS a denim jacket?

Surely you

Jest

And why did the value plummet, Marissa? Why did it plummet?