Nothing About Today Has Felt Real. I Have Done Nothing But Shovel Snow, Take A Nap, And Go To Walmart

insomnia thoughts with Jello

part one

I have a habit of struggling to fall asleep, and with nothing but my thoughts to keep me company at 4am, let us all set sail on this treacherous sea that is the shit storm I call my mind.

It pertains to shifting so bear with me.

I love the movie Coraline, as I’ve mentioned before. And we all know it’s very shifting coded. But I was thinking about all the times Coraline would go to sleep in the other world and wake up back in her original world, except for the one time she let fear win.

After being asked to sew buttons in her eyes, she goes to bed needing to wake up back home. Despite knowing she has done so multiple times without even trying, the second she puts her all into it— the second she is desperate, she fails.

which brings me to this:

fear is not an assumption.

While you can be afraid and still manifest or shift, the second you start clinging to the results for dear life is the second you give up your power. Driven by fear, you put more belief into it than yourself. If you truly believe you are in control, then there should be no fear of unwanted results.

Oddly enough, it works the opposite way too. Being afraid of something happening will not guarantee its occurrence. For example, I randomly thought to myself “oh no, what if all my scripts get deleted?” which was followed by “oh no, since I thought it now it’s going to happen all because I assumed.”

But I didn’t assume.

It was a fear, not an assumption. It was an invasive thought, not an assumption. It was a jumpscare, not an assumption.

All this goes to say that when shifting and/or manifesting, we need to let the hell go. Don’t strain for control because that just reaffirms the lack thereof. Chill the eff out and trust yourself, trust your subconscious. They know what’s up.

Hopefully this all made sense.

It is now past 5am.

I am tired.

Jello💖

i am in my dr, i’ve been in my dr this whole time i just need to wake up

i have to wake up

My best friend bought me a candle which I said smells like my new hogwarts academia dr

my best friend is better than yours

𓆉 ˚∘ WHY ARE YOU STILL DOING THIS TO YOURSELF?

what are you waiting for? just do it

This meditation is all you need, stop scrolling and do it now, you could've had your dream life, 3 hours ago, a day ago, or even 5 minutes ago. But you continue to doomscroll and then get upset at the time wasted, you're only harming yourself and it makes no sense to me how this information is priceless yet you want to scroll and scroll and scroll for what. There is no epiphany to be had, do you know why so many complain about our community being repetitive?

Because there is only one truth, there is no "click" that is needed for a godly being. You're looking for something that doesn't exist and you're wasting your days. Then you find a post that has made it click for you, for about 5 hours before you retreat back to the app with your tail behind your legs, to look for more "helpful posts" as if you don't already know everything.

Get out of here for real, you know how, it may be validating to like those memes about failing and like that posts about others who have had it hard, but you don't have to be like that anymore.

Why obsess over success stories when you can be one? What is scrolling actually doing for you? This community is nice but why do you want to stay more than you need to?

leave, you know how. yes, you do. Do not stay here longer than you need to, this community is the train station helping you get on that train (the void) to get to your desired destination (your dream life). We have given you the details to really get on that train, why are you still at the station? What is it doing for you? The people at the station are lovely people, but wouldn’t your dream destination be nicer? Days bleed into months and months to years, and next thing you know it’s 2028 and you’re still at the station. Why?

Your parents may make small talk with people on the plane to your vacation, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t going to get off that plane. The fellow passengers may be a vibe, but the vacation will obviously be better and that’s what they came on the plane for, to be transported to their destination not to stay on the plane and make friends. It’s nice to know that there are people going to the same destination as you, but not nicer than enjoying the vacation. After all they worked hard to be able to take the family away.

You’ve gone through alot, i hope you’re not throwing this away to scroll for another few days.

There is absolutely no eureka moment, you are the only person who can provide that not us bloggers. You need to get on that train. Now. You know how. Why are you stalling, procrastinating, maybe it’s the fear of failing or the “if it’s so quick and easy i’ll just do it later” mentality, don’t let these things keep you here longer than you need to be here.

And a tip for the road: act like this is life or death, do or die, there is no “what if” or “i’ll try” it’s happening

YOU KNOW IT ALL, UTILISE THAT KNOWLEDGE

let go

letting go simply means: less stress and more trust within yourself.

its the fact of not obsessing over the process of shifting. people get stressed over whether they’re doing the right thing when the truth is you are absolutely doing the right thing.

there’s no rule book on how to shift and once you realise that, that’s when you can finally let go and trust the process.

“but what about doubts/intrusive feelings?” realise that they cannot intervene in your shifting journey. really try and understand this and everything will go smooth for you.

my last shift simply went like this:

i was tired and simply decided “okay i’m already there” and i went to bed, and i shifted. i didn’t stress about me doing the right thing i simply just decided i shifted and went to sleep.

affirm and persist? not my thing anymore.

i’ve been manifesting easily (and also faster than expected) by just asking the universe to give me something and then embody trust.

i know the universe is me, therefore i trust myself, my divine power.

that’s literally it. no effort.

you have no more excuses.

For the “distraction” method, do you think of something related to my Dr or just a random unrelated thing? I believe I can shift but I don’t wanna go to a random place lmao

okay okay, angelcakes, listen up. i gotchu.

the “distraction” part? it’s like a decoy mission. your goal isn’t to visualise something dr-related at all. you’re not booking a direct flight to your dr just yet!!!!! you’re....... hanging out in the airport lounge sipping metaphorical champagne (or apple juice, idk your vibe).

pick something random and totally unrelated. like… imagine you’re a raccoon at a 7/11, rifling through snack aisles. or you’re sitting front row at a muppet fashion show. something silly, random, light. it’s just meant to get your brain to detach from your current reality without hyper-fixating on the dr, ‘cause that overthinking? she’s a killer.

but don’t panic !! this won’t throw you into some chaotic dimension where you’re suddenly a hamster on a spaceship (unless that’s the vibe you want). as long as you’re holding the belief that you’re shifting to your dr, your intention is locked in. the distraction just gets you relaxed enough to fall into the void. from there, your subconscious takes the reins and BAM!!! your dr.

you won’t wake up in raccoon-land. unless… i mean… you wanna? 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 no judgment.

tl;dr: keep it random, keep it light, and trust that your dr is where you’ll land, sweetheart. you’re the pilot !!!!

Jelloverse - Who Will I Be?

(introducing my drs, kinda)

Alright besties. I’ve never blatantly talked about my drs in detail so consider this a quick little intro to the various drs I intend to spend my time in.

Forgive me for how long this post’s about to be…

I have yet to shift to a dr, but alas the grind never stops. My current main drs include:

Hogwarts Band

Criminal Minds

DC Titans

The Nightmare Before Kissmas (book)

The Inheritance Games (book)

My main main dr is one where I date Spencer Reid but he’s also my uni Professor— I have no explanation for this one okay it heals something in me.

Anyways, let me break these down for ya real simple.

Hogwarts Band

It’s more of a modern day Hogwarts uni type vibe. I’m a fifth year transfer and somehow miraculously start a band with Ginny, George, and Fred. It’s called Mischief Managed. I scripted out the war— just claimed Voldy kicked it when he tried to kill Harry and doesn’t come back because I simply do not want to deal with that. I just want to go to my silly wizard classes and make music with my silly little band.

There is also a two year slow burn with none other than (drum roll please) ✨Theodore Nott✨. Though there was a time it was Fred, but… we learn and we grow, or something.

I have my band’s entire discography sorted from fifth till after seventh year/graduation. Album covers and deluxe editions and all that jazz. I found way too much joy in curating it all specifically. Many of the songs come from the two year slow burn I must endure. I could yap about our discography forever.

Criminal Minds

I am Penelope Garcia’s little sister and am just joining the BAU after spending time undercover— my lore is absolutely horrific. I usually try and avoid unnecessary trauma. However, have you seen the show? I gotta catch up at this point. Anyways, love interest? Spencer Reid, obviously. He consumes my very soul. I have like— four seperate drs for this man, like my own little AUs. I scripted a lot of precautions and made sure we actually do more consulting than field shit because, again, I just wanna vibe.

It’s in the season 4 era, so 2008. My first case will be the Angel Maker case which is episode 2 of season 4, I believe. I can’t watch that episode now without absolutely losing my marbles.

I won’t go into my lore or how it comes to bite me in the ass, but know I made as non-traumatic as possible.

College Romance

Now hear me out, okay? I still have my Creative Writing & Publishing degree, but I go back to school for some goofy little Criminal Behavior certificate thing. It’s just a summer semester, so I’m only there from May to mid August.

And Spencer Reid happens to teach half of my classes.

Why did I do this to myself? Look. We all have issues, okay? And in my Criminal Minds dr it’s like season 4 type vibes— this one is like, season 13. And not FBI related. And in some ways… it’s literally just me, with the same life I have here just now I’m back in uni. And I’ll get to have Spencer Reid love me, as the person I am right here right now. And that… will make me cry, thanks.

It’s only four months of devastating yearning and then we’ll live happily ever after. This is one of the only drs I can see myself living an entire life in. Like marriage and kids and growing old and all that shit. I’ve literally picked names out for our three potential children.

I have my own little friend group and it’s the summer so we get to do all sorts of fun things. I get to lounge around campus and read under the sun, or do my homework under a tree— I will finally romanticize studying, for real.

It’s one of my more chill drs, which is also a bonus. Sometimes a girl just wants a regular-ish life.

DC Titans

I love Dick Grayson. I love him. I want him. I need him. Anyways, I have elemental powers in this one which is fun and whimsical. Another one where I’ve said fuck the plot I just wanna be silly— picture DC Titans as a sitcom and that’s basically my dr. Just patrolling and the occasional baddie. I can’t wait to train with Grayson you have no idea I’m literally screaming just thinking about it. Also Gar my beloved I miss my bestie. I think I’m in college in this one too? Which is how I meet Gar and join the squad— I age peeps up, obviously. Dick Grayson love interest, in case you missed it.

Oh, and I have a music career. Gar, Jericho (yes he is well), and I start our own little record label (because Bruce Wayne loves me and funds my silly endeavors) and I’ve got like five albums/eps planned out. Including album covers and everything. I love sorting a Discography.

The Nightmare Before Kissmas

Not to be confused with the Nightmare Before Christmas, which is entirely different. This one is my pride and joy, honestly. I am so proud of all the little things in this dr. I read the book in December and immediately made a dr because it just utterly devastated and healed bits of my soul. So, you know, the obvious route.

In this one I’m the sister of Coal and Kris Claus, so I’m the Christmas Princess. But I’m also the youngest, so no one gives a fuck about what I do. In most of my drs I still have my Creative Writing & Publishing degree— this one is no exception.

It takes place a year after the book, and Coal & Hex are getting married. On December 13th, which is a Friday. Friday the 13th, in December— it’s literally the most perfect date ever for their Christmas Halloween asses. I get all giddy just thinking about the date yall. We, being me and my brothers and Iris the Easter Princess and best friend of us Christmas hooligans, travel to Halloween for the wedding. Mostly because I want to see that bitch. We get all Christmas in the book, I wanna see what Hex’s home is all about.

My love interest isn’t canon to the books. I’ve made him childhood friends with Hex who has returned from his studies to attend the wedding. His name is Moon. (and his faceclaim is s1 Spencer Reid/MGG I am just a girl okay?)

I’ve also been having dreams about Moon for over a year, ever since I returned to Christmas to help my brothers with their dismantling of the heirarchy bullshit (basically the end of the first book). Because I want a strange weirdly prophetic dream moment, okay? And Moon’s been having the same shit. So when we meet upon our arrival to Halloween— shit ensues.

It’s actually more enemies to lovers but in the sense that we’re enemies because we feel so very much and it’s all very confusing and after a year of being haunted and tormented by these constant dreams— I don’t know man I just need some angst first.

The Inheritance Games

Another baby of mine. I love shifting to books because I feel like there’s so much more to discover than with a show or movie or something. You have no concrete actor or anything you associate with the characters, and everything is almost up to interpretation. It’s fun.

I replace Avery in this dr, obviously. Why shift to not be the main character? Again, less plot more shenanigans. Everyone is aged up, again. I enjoy being my age in all of my drs.

This one isn’t as planned out as I’d like it to be. But Grayson Hawthorne is the love interest. Enemies to lovers, of course. I’m not quite sure what else to yap about for this one. I focus a lot more on my writing career in this one, since being a random billionaire will definitely help with that. And who am I if not a writer?

So that’s those bad boys…

I have a handful of other drs I could talk about… I’m gonna list them all for your perusal.

Fully Scripted:

Hogwarts Academia

Outer Banks

Twilight

The Flash

Sam & Colby

Small town dr (based off the show Ghost Whisperer)

Twitch Streamer (entirely separate from any existing streamer group don’t go getting any ideas)

Summer Lovin’ (I’m rich and live by the beach it’s pretty great)

Sorta Scripted:

Red White & Royal Blue

Stardew Valley

Death Note

Teen Wolf

MCU

Fame dr (but it’s the novel I’m currently writing here being turned into a movie)

Skyrim x The Witcher (this one is so complicated I fear I may never fully capture all my thoughts & ideas)

Batfam (I know little about canon shit but I’m trying)

Unscripted:

Bridgerton

Mystic Messenger

Love & Deepspace

Sky High

Bratz

So that’s me, as a shifter. Just a girl with a long list of places she intends to cause absolute chaos in. I’m always down to talk about any of my drs. Sometimes I get so into them I start making my own outfit collages because of course my style changes in every dr and I need to capture that. I am so very specific it might be my detriment… but oh well at least it’s fun.

This was long asf. If you took the time to read all that… thank you (I’ll cry about it). Consider this a little forehead smooch just for you 💋

Jello💖

The Difference Between Wanting to Shift and Expecting to Shift

When you first begin your shifting journey, it’s easy to feel like you’re wanting to shift—hoping, wishing, and longing for it to happen. This is a common starting point for many people, but it’s important to recognize the subtle but powerful difference between wanting and expecting to shift.

Wanting to shift comes from a place of longing. It’s rooted in desire, and while this is a natural feeling, it’s often tied to a sense of uncertainty or lack. When you want to shift, you’re focused on what you don’t have yet. You may think, “I wish I could shift,” or “I hope it happens for me.” This kind of energy often creates resistance because it reflects a feeling that shifting is something outside your control—something that you’re constantly reaching for, but may never fully grasp. The act of wanting can leave you feeling like it’s not fully attainable, and doubts can creep in, making the process feel more difficult.

On the other hand, expecting to shift is a whole different mindset. When you expect to shift, there’s no more longing, no more hopefulness. Instead, you hold a quiet certainty that shifting is a natural process that will happen when the time is right. Expectation removes the pressure because it’s not about if—it’s about when. You know that with practice, consistency, and the right mindset, shifting is an inevitable result.

Expectation shifts your approach completely. You stop waiting for shifting to “work,” and you begin acting as if it’s already part of who you are. The more you expect it, the more it becomes a natural extension of yourself. Your mind starts to align with this belief, and as a result, the doubts that once seemed so loud begin to fade into the background. Instead of being attached to the outcome, you trust the process and simply enjoy the journey, knowing it’s only a matter of time.

This shift from wanting to expecting also has an impact on how you prepare for shifting. With the mindset of expectation, you practice with confidence, knowing that your efforts will pay off. You begin to trust that you are capable and worthy of shifting, and that your reality is malleable. When you approach shifting with expectation, the entire experience transforms from a chase for something unattainable to a natural flow of something you already have the ability to do.

So, the next time you find yourself feeling frustrated or doubtful about your progress, take a step back and ask yourself: Am I waiting for shifting to happen, or do I expect it to happen? Shift your mindset from wanting to expecting, and watch how the process begins to unfold with ease.

reminder that you can shift anytime, anywhere, under any condition. it doesn’t matter if you’re exhausted, if you’re spiralling, if you’ve just remembered an email you forgot to send and now you’re in a fugue state of regret. it doesn’t matter if you’ve put shifting on a pedestal so high it’s getting altitude sickness (even then, a pedestal is just a glorified step stool. kick it over. nothing is above you, nothing is out of reach), or if your brain is complied of intrusive thoughts and mental white noise. you could be in a grocery store queue, on a sinking ship, in the middle of a hostage negotiation. and could still shift.

people love a reason why not. alas, the conditions are not set in stone. they never were. consciousness is liquid gold. it seeps through cracks, it adapts. you don’t need the stars to align. you don’t need the perfect night, the perfect mood, the perfect silence. you need exactly what you already have... a mind.