Do Not Hurt Me. I Come In Many Emotionally Traumatized Pieces 👽

Oh to walk barefoot through the damp dirt in the forest, following an almost human silhouette into the darkness.

wilbur's doing really well :D

i keep talking and then feeling like i should shut up but it’s too hateful to believe so i talk more until I feel again like i should shut up.

this isn’t angst.

i want to talk in a way that feels harmless

this is a question

Every gift i’ve given was left to wilt. My love, my time, my trust. I wish the flowers I put in your hair didn’t fall out so easily. You don’t believe I love you, but it was all I was made for.

I come back here when things are hard. So in spite of previous posts, please believe me when i say,

things have been better.

I’ve always said things do get better. And I’ve always been right about that. You know, he’s repeated those words to me. That brought a smile to my face. And I am still right.

I’m thinking of the nights when I used to break apart in my bed. A pain in my heart so palpable it scarred my skin. And then days passed. Years even. And the wounds healed and the days were bright and I found happiness again.

I haven’t felt pain like that again. And I don’t think I ever could. I know too deeply that I am beautiful and loved, for that ache to return.

It does get better.

Always.

~

However, I still get tired. And frightened. And sad. Right now I feel that.

The world feels like it crumbles beneath my fingertips. I believe in love. In safety. And my assurances fall away like dry sand. Every day scrapes by like a wounded soldier, dragging himself home.

I apologize for being so dramatic, to you the empty void. I’ve been missing love for so long.

And It’s always felt too good for me.

You know, in church we used to sing hymns? Horrible things. Monotone and droning. And there they’d weave their messages for me. A wretch they sang, working my mouth with needle and string. Sewing words in hungry earth, that blossomed into an endless fear.

A wretch. That I was not good enough for any type of love, except for love from a being you can not see, can not hear, and can not touch.

And my fear grows. Am I loved?

Am I loved? Am I loved? Am I loved? Am I loved? Am I loved? AmIlovedamilovedamilovedamiloved oh please god let me be loved.

Strawberry cap ybard

i wish people would stop staring at me.

just because i dont have skin doesn’t mean i don’t have feelings

this is completely relatable tho

twinks fuck up me. cats consume me.

my head hurts

i hav no motivation

all i wanna do is eat and play minecraft