Recovery has been a bit difficult. I worry that with each time that my body breaks down and develops more issues, it becomes harder for people to overlook and I become more difficult to love- which I know of course when I write it down that it's a terribly stupid, and ableist thought.
I would never think such things about someone else in my position, but when I haven't put words to that gut feeling and it only has to be directed inwards I worry about it on a near visceral level. It keeps me awake at night. Nobody could love what I've gone and become. This is too much for anybody. I'm even too much maintenance for myself
hi jules !!! i hope youre doing okay <3
i was just thinking about your Kin Search and a source or two popped into my head that felt like they could possibly be a match for you!! so if you’re still looking for sources to check out, i would Definitely recommend EverymanHYBRID + TribeTwelve and Marble Hornets!! I tried to check to see if these were mentioned on your blog somewhere to see if youve looked into them, but im at work so im a bit limited in my research abilities rn :’) theyre all actually YouTube ARG series!! theyre a bit funky and hard to follow tbh, so i have some really great analysis/explanation videos saved on hand if youd like to see those!!! feel free to message me if you wanna discuss them a bit <3
Thank you so much for reaching out to me. In truth, I’ve actually been looking into this source recently so it is a funny coincidence that you happened to send the ask at this moment. I appreciate it though, Everyman HYBRID definitely holds a special place in my heart, and the themes of a repeating timeline or script, along with the heavy themes of being watched in these sources stood out to me significantly. There are a few sources I have not yet added to my list yet because they have either been suggested since the date I posted, or I have not yet viewed and/or revised notes on said sources, so I am currently in the middle of a second viewing of Everyman HYBRID and Marble Hornets. I would absolutely love to discuss the series more in depth with you, at your earliest convenience, of course.
*Just read your cabin post*
Please for the love of god, check out The Magnus Archives, Magpie. You are so eye coded
I have gotten a lot of recommendations towards The Magnus Archives, that's probably apparent on my blog at this point. I mean, I have whittled down my list of sources to look into. Every time I get replies like this, it piques my curiosity; what was it about the post that resonated with you in that way? I guess there's only one way to find out--
Thanks to the help of so many of you both here on Tumblr, and on various discord servers, I was able to lay a lot of groundwork into discovering my identity. I would like to share a list of sources I have been given and am currently looking into in order to widen my sample size regarding memories as a whole. Here is where I currently am in this process;
*The Dream SMP (Completed)
*Mouth Washing (Even Though I Have Mostly Ruled That Out) ((Completed.. obviously))
*Homestuck (Not Really Completed But I Feel I've Seen Enough)
*A Song of Ice and Fire (Completed and Revised)
*Maximum Ride Series (Completed and Revised)
*Final Destination (Completed and Revised)
*Madoka Magica (Completed)
*Supernatural (Completed and Revised, Possible Match)
*Zero Escape Series (Completed)
*The Magnus Archives
*SCP and Related Works (Completed and Revised, Possible Match)
*Death Note (Completed and Revised, Possible Match)
*Arcane (Completed and Revised)
*The Magicians
*Ave Mujica
*The Mandela Catalogue (Completed, Possible Match)
*Devilman Crybaby
*American Horror Story (Completed and Revised)
*The Omen (Completed and Revised, Possible Match)
If anyone from these sources would like to impart any insight or simply share any memories that have been weighing on them..
Well, you know I'll always be listening.
hello !!!! mod blue here from the noncanon kin blog :))) i know mod star is going to/already has sent an ask to you as well but i wanted to extend my support as well :)
im big into Horror Media in general so if you Are set on trying to find a source, ill gladly help you out if i can :)) oc kin is Also a very interesting and probable Answer, but i know it can be hard to come to terms with things such as that, especially if you dont Already know people who experience it. ive been identifying and navigating my personal fictionkin experience since i was around 14-16, im 21 now. i understand how confusing and frustrating it can be. i wish you the Best of luck, my friend :) if you’d like to reach out at all, you can message me over at @galactic-inhabitants
much love, my guy <3 i hope you can find some answers <3
You both have been so very kind to me, I don't know how to compensate you for your time but it means a lot. I may just have some questions to ask you, sometime in the near future so consider yourself warned
Have you ever thought about the vastness of everything in the macrocosm? About looking out a spaceship window and seeing nothing but an endless sea of darkness? Ask yourself, can space really be endless? I mean, we all know the universe isn't… but what happens at the end of the universe? Like if I was to get in a spaceship could I just keep on going and going forever without ever revisiting the same places? This is terrifying to me, that there are places out there that will never be seen by human eyes. Then there's that pesky phrase, “Space is expanding”. Well how can that be true? How am I supposed to conceptualize cosmic inflation theory, if there isn't the dark matter of space in the spots it's expanded to before, then just what was there before? What do we call that? This doesn't freak anyone else out?
I want to visualize and understand all of it. The below, the above, what surrounds our being. If. I could just map it out and understand fully, then it wouldn't make my head spin as much. It feels like unfinished work that will never be completed... Which I guess in a way, it sort of is
What a coincidence, it seems we have some mutuals in common
@galactic-inhabitants @quinnlistspeaks @lionesscersei @bohemianrpdsy @anothershottotryagain @apocalypticautumn @beezabub @electromahougnetic @actualamadeus @birdiestbugbuddy @jellybean-sys @routetoroadkill @revekdoesstuff @volatilisdeviant @wildernezz
if you see this or are tagged in it, tag a couple of your favorite mutuals/blogs and let them know you appreciate seeing them on your dash!
@h0neysugarfree @blueberrylovv @bequiteanddriveeeeeee @cherri-bomb-bomb @eg0mechan1c @fatrexicisback
hello boss !! im an Elias AND Jon fictionkin and you said you wanted to interact with them (I think . don't respond to this ask if I'm wrong I'll have to explode /silly) but I'm curious as to what that interaction would entail .. would it just be questions about our canon mems, or would it be something more? only reason I ask is because I don't have very many mems regarding either of them , and I don't want to disappoint you with my lack of . memories , or helpful information .
That's a good question, I'm glad you've asked. While I do have a complicated relationship with memories specifically, I won't limit my search to that. Any information you have to offer that is relevant; Your journey in finding your kintype, any shifts you may have experienced.. These are all things that I would find incredibly helpful at the moment. Thank you for reaching out
Tumblr Is Once Again Trying To Warn Me I'm Becoming A Miserable Bastard
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