(Jon Is 17.)

(Jon is 17.)

(Damian is 17.)

This is my au, if you wanna know more I can start posting on my blog. It’s just for fun, we have stoner Jon and Bruce, who isn’t as preachy with Jon as he is with his kids. Enjoy.

“Wipe that smile off your face Jon I know what you did.”

Jon whipped around, facing Bruce. He had been raised in Gotham for the past few years because Clark wanted him to have real world experience…. Yeah. And now we’re here.

“Ok, first of all bad energy. Second, happiness is a mental condition you sorely need asshole. Third, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Bruce glowers.

“You know exactly what I’m taking about.”

“Sir, with all due respect. I am a model student with a vague backstory like most of the people on the lower rungs of Gotham’s popularity poles.”

Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose and looked at gone through his eyelashes.

“I know about the weed business.”

Jon’s eyes widen before he schooled himself.

“Rumour?”

“4K.”

“Dammit!”

Bruce glared.

“You really thought you could deal in my city-“ He started, before Jon cut him off.

“I’m very much repenting Mr Wayne-“

“And not cut me in?”

Jon jolted out of whatever he was about to say, his head snapping in Bruce’s direction.

“…..oh. Wow.” He said, pausing and looking away for a second before looking back to Bruce.

“Is this entrapment?”

Bruce ignored his question and started again.

“You know there is only one woman I’ve ever loved?”

“My dad?”

“No- Clark? Fucking idiot.” He punched his brow. “I’m taking about Mary Jane.”

“Is that Mrs Kyle’s first name?” Jon asked, knowing the two were friend and it’d rule Bruce up.

Selina, who was raiding the fridge after breaking in, turned and said.

“It is now!”

“No!” Bruce yelled back, getting thoroughly annoyed.

“I’m talking about dank, Jonathan. Reefer.”

“Are we still talking about the same drug?”

“Ok here’s the score, you little dumbass. You work for me now.” Bruce said, rolling his eyes.

“For you?”

“I’ve been running the grass business up here for a while now, you think it’s easy running after you little super saiyan Rugrats? Gordon’s up to his head in gummies.”

Jon blinked at him, before responding.

“I am really struggling to wrap my head around this Mr B.”

Bruce scoffed. “Just look at my eyes Jonathan. you think I take Vaisene for fun?”

“No, there red because your up all the time.”

Jonathan respinded, before comming to the sudden realisation.

Bruce nodded his head pointedly, raising his eyebrows.

“Oh my god, really?”

“They’re playing checkers Jonathan, you gotta play chess.”

Jon stared at the older man, who Clark trusted him with for three years.

“Jesus.”

“I’m thinking an 80-20 split.” Bruce said, turning from Jon.

“You sell to Damian and they’ll never find your body.”

“Yeah that tracks.”

🦀 time for crab 🦀

today i summoned 50 crabs! look at them!

group picture!!!

🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀🦀

Gift your friends the crab army!

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ilona2nerrie

3 weeks ago

so embarrassing when i forget im checking someone's blog and i start scrolling through and liking and reblogging shit as if it's just my dash. it feels like wandering into someone else's apartment and not noticing and making myself lunch

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ilona2nerrie

4 months ago

Omg

Every Iliad generals meeting in a nutshell (featuring Odysseus peak stress level' Agamemnon being himself, Menelaus trying to stop his brother from being himself and Diomedes cheering on for his angry war husband)

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ilona2nerrie

1 week ago

Jon and the Wayne’s:

part one: Jon the weed dealer.

part two: misunderstandings.

Part three: stinging Jason todd.

Part four: poker night.

Part five: Bruce likes being single.

Part six: mission and Kris.

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ilona2nerrie

1 year ago

hey!! i came here for my FIRST EVER request!!

because after watching the new bedroom ranking video i keep thinking about his girlfriend submitting her own video of his room 😭😭 like showing his cats and saying “yeah these are my cats” 😭😭 maybe he’s sitting there with headphones on, unaware, and she says ignore my boyfriend over there✍🏼✍🏼

idk! i hope this is not boring as hell the thought just didn’t leave my head😭😭😭

I see it like he gets a photo of your shared bedroom and the cats are sitting on the bed with each other snuggled up. And he tries to play it off like it’s nothing.

“Damn this person seems to have the same bedroom set up as me” knowing full well you were the one who submitted it.

Going to the next slide it’s a photo of his desk, but it’s empty. Jambo sitting on top of his pc.

“I didn’t submit my own room what the hell is this”. He’d say, trying to play up this part

That’s when you would come into the room he was streaming in, standing behind him stiffly as you took another photo. Sending it to him. He’d open it on stream and just slowly turn around and once you both made eye contact you both would scream at each other and then instantly stop.

He’d make sure that those submissions were the last ones of the night because he would abruptly end stream like he was cut off. Which made a great clip for YouTube and TikTok

619 notes View Post

ilona2nerrie

1 year ago