As A Matter Of Fact...

As a matter of fact...

A well-known fixture of the Arcanokinetics department of the College of Arcana at the University of Celestial Secrets is a stuffed plush rabbit, of the kind colloquially called a "bunny friend," the Haradine cultural equivalent of a Teddy bear.

It sits - or rather, slumps - on a plinth in the middle of the main lecture hall, and is used as a demonstration and practice target for spells. Many, many spells. It is patched and fraying and threadbare and stained, and has a small embroidered College of Arcana emblem sewn to its chest where a Reader would have his badge. All and sundry call it "M'lord Bun," and address it and refer to it as if it were a fiefholding lord and member of the faculty.

M'lord Bun is occasionally repaired or reverted, from his many misadventures, by members of the Temporal department of the College. Only very rarely is he mended in the mundane fashion by skilled service staff.

The Lord Bun legend has grown over the centuries, to the point, in the 5th age, which the various funerals and "retirements" of unrecoverable Lord Buns are important historical landmarks in College lore, and M'lord Bun is now a senior member of the faculty, and officiates over certain ceremonies (notably the Japery in mid-March), and often joins the Deans in their viewing box or at high table for special occasions. A chain of office is nowadays embroidered around M'lord Bun's fluffy neck.

It is not strictly true that the Wizard Brismeister was given a Dire Notice of Censure for beheading Lord Bun in year 197 of the Fourth Age. The stated reason was, in fact, for "failing to maintain the decorum required of his position." Brismeister never again read arcanokinesis, or any other subject, at the University, despite remaining a Senior Reader of Arcana, and he resigned from his post in 201. His eponymized Whirling Blade spell, although adopted immediately at Sloeberries, was not taught at Celestial until 210.

Upon Lord Bun's magical beheading, the students in attendance declared him dead on the spot, and petitioned the Master to appoint a new Lord. That was the origin of the current M'lord Bun, who has greeted the arrival of the so-called Fifth Age with characteristic inscrutability.

Less magic schools. More magic universities. Unlearn the simplified models of your secondary education. Discover how to reference scrolls written by a wizard possessed by a different wizard. Identify bias in the voices that whisper from beyond the veil. Have your institution be accused of promoting a Merlinist agenda. Become addicted to energy potions.

More Posts from Idrawtooslow and Others

1 month ago

The Hawt Spring

This tiny little inn is built around a magical hot spring. The spring has one simple magical property: as long as one is physically bathing in the spring, or a pool conected to it and filled with its water, they seem more than naturally physically attractive. To everyone.

The caretakers no longer allow mirrors at the Hawt Spring, and have a firm limit on how long they allow people to stay. Because otherwise, one can poison one's body image, or lose the ability to find beauty in ordinary people.

If you get on their good side, the caretakers might tell you about all the newlywed couples who would honeymoon at the Hawt Spring before there were rules, and come away ready for divorce, after getting too used to how each other looked while bathing in the Hawt Spring. They would begin to see each other's real bodies as "ugly."

Nowadays, newlyweds are banned from the Hawt Spring, by official decree.


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3 months ago

nosferatu? non. VOSferatu. c'est pas mon problème

3 months ago

Yesterday I deleted most of the reblogs in my queue. I need to either commit to this being a shitpost blog or GTFO. If I can't leave a compliment or comment on something, it's just not getting one. Anyone who cares can browse my likes.


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3 months ago

When Kyana was sitting up on that spire, and Davian flew by in his Hummingbird, and they had a little conversation, I really enjoyed the moment the two characters had. It was one of the most interesting and satisfying one-on-ones in the first campaign.

I like to think that at some point after the Beastlands, Davian visited the Grand Arena, and ended up facing Kyana. Kyana didn't quite roflstomp him -- Davian drew a little blood, from the one hit he got in, and Kyana had it treated nonmagically, so she could bear the scar as a memento.


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1 month ago

if i had a time machine and i wanted to absolutely destroy an ancient emperor or king, i would take them to the shark tunnel of an aquarium. giving them an ozymandias view of their legacy would do nothing, they can see that all empires rot just by looking around them. but the shark tunnel of an aquarium is something they haven’t seen before, something no one has seen before, something magnificent that they could build with technology only slightly out of their reach. they would bankrupt their nation trying to recreate that shark tunnel for themself. their dynasty would collapse within three generations, and, if heaven is on my side, they themself will be eaten by a shark to the delight of generations of historians to come


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2 months ago

This is not a god-emperor.

This is a god whose name is "Emperor."

Long-dead, he was the last ruler of a once-powerful empire whose cultural influence outlasted it.

Was he deified in his lifetime? We no longer know. But he is deified now.

While his memory lives on, his true name has been lost. At some point, the word "emperor" ceased to have meaning except when referring to him, therefore his name is now Emperor.


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6 months ago

I didn't notice who reblogged this and I was WONDERING where the heck it was going...

Which made it all the sweeter to find out it's an Emberlynn joke!

idrawtooslow - I can draw, but not very fast.
idrawtooslow - I can draw, but not very fast.
idrawtooslow - I can draw, but not very fast.
idrawtooslow - I can draw, but not very fast.
idrawtooslow - I can draw, but not very fast.
idrawtooslow - I can draw, but not very fast.
idrawtooslow - I can draw, but not very fast.
idrawtooslow - I can draw, but not very fast.
idrawtooslow - I can draw, but not very fast.
idrawtooslow - I can draw, but not very fast.

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2 months ago

ADD Tip: You can change the goals on your to-do list!

As your needs and your situation change during the day, don't be afraid to cross out and replace items on your to-do list.

And if you accomplished something that wasn't on your to-do list, write it down and check it off!

This will help you maintain a more realistic idea of your productivity during the day, as well as identify any particular things that may be hindering your productivity or taking up too much of your time.

Photograph of a checklist written in pencil on lined 4 x 6 inch notepaper, dated "Tues. 2/04/25" with checkboxes drawn next to each of twenty-six list items. Each item is either checked off, crossed out, or left alone. A quick glance reveals that the seven "intended" list items are mostly crossed out or left alone, while the nineteen "extra" list items, all having to do with either "Mom" or "Dad," are all checked off.

The list items are as follows: 
Do yoga (crossed out).
Check brake lines (crossed out).
Lunch! (left alone).
Study for certification exam 2 hrs (crossed out).
Offer to cook dinner so Mom can wash dishes (checked off, annotated "no").
Call Jerry about painting (crossed out).
Wash dishes? Make dinner? (checked off, "wash dishes" is circled, "make dinner" is crossed out).
From this point on, all entries are checked off.
Help Mom donate to Sylvia's Go Fund Me.
Explain to Mom that Joe S. and Joe K. are two different people (three check boxes, all checked off).
Make sure that Mom's taken her meds (annotated "yes").
Prove to Mom I already helped her donate 2 Sylvia.
Reprogram heat pump.
Convince Mom to leave heat pump controls alone (there is a question mark by the check box).
From this point on, the printing gets sloppier.
Help Dad move old compressor.
Help Mom cook dinner.
Explain to Dad that computer was already on, reboot.
Calm Dad down & get him to leave Mom alone.
Clean up mess at dining table.
Find Mom a teevee show to watch.
Clean up mess in kitchen.
Explain teevee show to Mom.
Explain to Dad (why furbies aren't MOGAI is crossed out) difference between furries & furbies is added.
Listen to Dad rant about quote deviants unquote.
Prove to Mom she already took her dentures out.
The last 2 items are crammed into the bottom margin of the paper.
Let Mom cry on my shoulder.
Mop kitchen floor.

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idrawtooslow - I can draw, but not very fast.
I can draw, but not very fast.

I have thousands of shitposts, rants, and essays sitting in notebooks, left over from decades of not using social media or having many friends. Hold on tight.

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