Nick, About Merwin: He Died Of Natural Causes

Salim: you all would not have if did not do it first!

Jason: y’all’dn’t’ve’f’i’dn’t’ve

Salim:

Salim: what the hell is wrong with you

Jason: Why do you think I don’t like you? I do. I would kill for you.

Jason: Ask me to kill for you.

Salim: ...First of all, calm down-

Rachel: WhY does this hallway smell like dater-pe???

Nick: Merwin uses a really strong cologne.

Jason: Overactive sweat glands, you know how it is.

Merwin: I smell fine!!

Rachel: Shower. Now.

Zain: Is 37 a prime number, Jason?

Jason, trying to help with his homework: Fuckin... I'm a marine!!!!

Nick: Are you gonna go talk to Eric?

Rachel: If he really wants to talk to me, he can come to my room. On his hands and knees.

*nick and eric start dating*

Rachel, bewildered: What the hell just happened? Jason: Something gay lmao Rachel: You’re gay

Salim: for me!

I can totally see Phil being freaked out when he hears Tommy talking in his sleep and getting Fundy and Tubbo to perform a dreamon exorcism on him and Tubbo just goes along with it

Tubbo: Tommy sometimes talks in his sleep. It’s cute.

Tommy, mumbling in his sleep: fight me… motherfucker… square up bitch… I think the fuck not…

submitted by: @fornfish

Salim: Jason, can you do me a favour ?

Jason: i would literally cover up a murder you committed, plant my dna at the crime scene and take the blame for you.

Salim: cool i guess ? can you do the dishes please ?

Jason: no.

Jason: Salim and I don't have pet names for each other

Nick: what do bees make?

Jason: Honey?

Nick: huh, really thought that would work

Jason: ha! You idiot

Salim, from another room: yeah?

meanwhile jason is kicking and screaming bloody murder

Nick: I gotcha!

Jason: I WILL KILL YOUR PARENTS I WILL END YOUR BLOODLINE PUT ME DOWN RIGHT NOW.

Absolute tomfoolery