Normalize Hating The Things You Love. Normalize Loving The Things You Hate. Existence Is Complicated,
Normalize hating the things you love. Normalize loving the things you hate. Existence is complicated, emotion is complicated. It doesn’t have to make sense, not to you nor to anyone else. Things can be objectively bad and make you happy. Things can be objectively good and make you sad. The only thing abstract concepts like “hate” and “love” are defined by is how brave you are, how willing you are to challenge the way that people use language, and the ways that emotions can oppose each other even within the same host.
My favorite show is, admittedly, awful. The writing is bad, the characters are bad, the art is bad, it’s awful. But in the same breath I say that, that it is so objectively terrible and that I hate to associate myself with it, I can say that I love it. It’s like a warm hug on a cold day and even if the source isn’t great, the warmth is, and I love it. Even things that hurt you, that you hate for hurting you, you can still love. I love the smell of cigarette smoke, it's warm and tangy and I’ve always loved the way fire smells in all of its forms. I hate the smell of cigarette smoke, it killed my grandma and still filled her room after she was gone, it almost killed my dad too.
I love that I’m figuring things out, that I’m trying to heal. I also hate it. I feel like a feral cat in an alley and even though I know the hands reaching for me are just trying to help, all I know how to deal with, anticipate, is harm. I love that I’m not in pain anymore, but I hate it at the same time because the pain is how I learned how to function. It was my motivation, my drive, and without it, without the stabbing fear in my chest, I don’t know how to motivate myself.
Hate and love are closer than most would like to admit, barely a hair’s breadth apart. I’ve heard, before, that the opposite of love isn’t hate, but rather apathy. After all, the opposite of strong feelings is no feelings, but I feel like that doesn’t do their closeness justice. It’s hard to describe, but both feel like drowning, just different. Love is peaceful, it still hurts but it’s willing, painful and pleasant, suicidal. Hate is anger, it’s thrashing in the water as you fight for your life, you don’t want to die but you’re not strong enough to break the surface. Both are painful, both can be deadly if you fall too deep, but from the outside both are the same.
Emotions are fickle things, even the strongest changing with the tides. When I’m with my friends I hate my parents and love myself, but when I’m with my parents I hate myself and love them. It’s complicated, and hard, but life wouldn’t be nearly as colorful if not painted with our emotions. I’m not sure why I wrote this, just, understanding I assume.
More Posts from Hollyloveschaos and Others
It’s me, I’m ace too!
Big shout out to the coalition of Catholic nuns who just told the US bishops to stop being transphobic.
“As members of the body of Christ, we cannot be whole without the full inclusion of transgender, nonbinary, and gender-expansive individuals,” the letter reads. It goes on to argue that “we will remain oppressors until we — as vowed Catholic religious — acknowledge the existence of LGBTQ+ people in our own congregations. We seek to cultivate a faith community where all, especially our transgender, nonbinary, and gender-expansive siblings, experience a deep belonging.”
The letter also states transgender people are “experiencing harm and erasure” in various ways, listing daily discrimination, a groundswell of state-level legislation aimed at LGBTQ rights and “harmful rhetoric from some Christian institutions and their leaders, including the Catholic Church.”
Read about it here
This whole “New year new you!” shit pisses me off. New year, sure, but new you? Hell no. So many people are like the new year is a fresh start and no the hell it isn’t. The only fresh start we get is when we’re born. I’m not saying people can’t be forgiven, or that they should stop trying to improve, just that nothing is a fresh start. There will always be people you affected, you continue to affect, and you can’t rip away the version of yourself they knew, people will always have perceptions of the ‘old’ you that won’t go away just by virtue of you changing. It’s a new year but I’m the same me, and I find that comforting. It’s not a new book, just a new chapter, and whatever the characters did before still affect the narrative, but now they have an opportunity for more growth.
handsome women covered in blood. reblog.
I think one of the most damaging ideologies towards children is the conviction that having children isn’t a calling but a moral obligation.
minecraft add baby endermen immediately
Snow 💙
It’s snowing.💜
Mxtx love interests and their relationships with captivity are fascinating and all, but I’d rather just focus on how funny Hua Cheng’s is in particular.
We have Luo Binghe‘s creepy replica bamboo hut and the tragic horror of watching him succumb to his worst impulses and try destroying the world to trap Shen Qingqiu by his side.
We have Lan Wangji warring internally with himself for years over his smothering need to hide Wei Wuxian from the world and save him from himself.
And then there’s Hua Cheng
Professional Gege Catch and Release Wildlife Expert Hua Cheng.
This man is a gege rehabilitation facilitator who does what he loves and loves what he does.
He tags his gege with a gps tracker so he can study his migration patterns. He humanely traps and relocates his gege whenever he’s strayed into danger.
If you hit a gege with your car, all you need to do is call Hua Cheng and he’ll be there with an animal control slip leash, a GoPro to promote his TikTok campaign promoting awareness of gege welfare and conservation to the masses, and Yin Yu is on the phone preparing the treatment center for a new arrival.
He’s one of those guys who lovingly cares for a feral cat colony in his backyard, providing handmade housing with heating and regular check ups.
He’s insane don’t get me wrong. But his crippling self doubt and unbreakable compulsion to provide merged in such a weird way, it comes off a little more wildlife rescue than I think is intended.
It’s important to recognise that Barbie (2023) criticises both the patriarchy AND the matriarchy. Yes, the Ken’s are just accessories to the Barbies. Yes, they don’t have any say in the government they live under. That’s the point, you’re supposed to feel awful, you’re supposed to want the Kens to have their own agency, you’re supposed to want equality. The Barbie movie explicitly states that the way Barbie treats Ken is wrong, so much so that once he finds a safe space for his masculinity and individual identity he’s so excited to share it with the other Kens.
But they go overboard and replace a matriarchy with a patriarchy and now the same issue exists but in reverse. That’s the POINT!! THATS THE POINT!!! Barbie is not anti-men it’s pro equality PLEASE understand this
Day One:
I live my life here
It’s quiet here
Still, unmoving
People blur around me
I cannot move
I am frozen
Meaningless
I cannot see
Or hear
Or feel
Anything
I am alone
I am a husk
A shell of a person
I am not real
I do not exist
There is no proof
Only feelings, I lack
I miss being real
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hollyloveschaos reblogged this · 2 years ago
