The Stuff With Caldarus Has The Perfect

How my Stardew Farmers meet Lance

Aleia: *finally reach the volcano top* Damn fucking magma sprites! *swats the fire out from her hat*

Lance: *appears*

Aleia: What the-! *points her galaxy sword at Lance, thinks his an enemy* Who are you?

Lance: Not to worry, Aleia. I'm just a friend.

Aleia: You know my name?

Lance: Yes. I’ve heard a lot about you, Aleia. Marlon speaks highly of your caliber as an adventurer.

Aleia: *laughs* Marlon does love to tell a good story.

🍎

Rosemary: *too tired to even bother once she reached the top volcano*

Lance: *appears*

Rosemary: *groans in frustration and chucks a bomb at Lance thinking its a monster*

Lance: *uses levitation to stop the bomb landing on him, chuckles* Rosemary, calm down. I'm just a friend.

Rosemary: *snaps out of it* Oh shot! I'm sorry! I thought your just some monster like the ones from the volcano dungeons.

Lance: Understandable. *chuckles* Few adventurers have scaled Mount Kohldur, once a great dwarf kingdom. Your achievement is a testament to your ambition and perseverance.

Rosemary: Well it was hard to get passed through those monsters.

🌺

Cerise: *reach the top volcano, after passing all the floors with ease*

Lance: *appears*

Cerise: *with instinct, throws a galaxy dagger at him*

Lance: *blocks it with a magic shield, chuckles* Fast reflexes. Impressive

Cerise: You must be Lance. My sister talks about you.

Lance: She does?

🌼

Thalia: *reach the top volcano a bit unscathed, eats icecream to replenish her health* Finally I'm here!

Lance: *appears*

Thalia: *eyes narrowed, hands clinch to her weapon* Wait. Aren't that hot guy from the volcano. That my friend, Rosemary talks about.

Lance: *chuckles* I did meet her at this very volcano, yes. I hope I'm not startling you.

Thalia: Meh

Camilla: Isaac is okay.

F. Thalia: What do you mean okay? He said he was going to break my legs! And don't tell me he didn't mean it, okay?! 'Cause they gave me the mackerel eyes, they meant it!

Camilla: Thalia sweetie, Isaac threatened me. He even threaten your other farmer friend, Rosemary every day. They probably threatened Lance before dinner this evening. It's what he do. Grow a pair.

Farmer: *enjoying a peaceful married life*

*sees an attractive marriageable npc*

Farmer: I'm gonna do what's called a pro gamer move.😏

I just found out one of Sterling's love gifts are 🌻🌻🌻 and being a generous friend, I gift him one. (Yes. speed up his heart events) But I didn't know, gifting him that flower gives a different dialogue.

The way he blush is just so adorable! 🥺

𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚏𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙲𝚘𝚗𝚏𝚎𝚜𝚜𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜

(A/N: Enjoy my overreaction about this mod's cutscenes)

*I loaded up my save file of my farmer, Yvonne, who's engaged to Sam. I was heading to Sebastian's room with a birthday present when suddenly a cutscene started playing. Sebastian appeared at the beach docks, a path of rose petals leading the way.*

Me: What in the world? *experiencing a sense of déja vu*

Sebastian: Yvonne, I've been thinking about you constantly.

Me: Hold up, Sebastian! Aren't you married to my farmer, Aleia? This is incredibly messed up.

Sebastian: *clears his throat* I... um... I want to be with you as your boyfriend.

Me: *noticing the limited choices provided in the game* Where's the rejection option!?

Sebastian: *looking expectantly, waits for Yvonne's response*

Me: Guess there's no other choice here. I'll accept his confession.

Sebastian: *sounding relieved* Thank you for waiting for me to sort out my feelings and for always listening.

Me: Seriously, Sebastian? *facepalms*

Sebastian: *whispering softly* I... I love you, Yvonne.

Yvonne: *too stunned and betrayed to respond*

Me: *le gasp* This is so wrong on so many levels, not just for my farmer Aleia, but also for poor Sam!

*According to tradition, give the bouquet back to Sebastian when you're ready to make your relationship status official*

Me: Absolutely not! *frustrated and amused by the absurdity of the situation* This is ridiculous. I'm not giving him the bouquet, and I hope Sam doesn't find out about this whole mess.

Yvonne: *blinks twice at the unexpected event*

Me: *laughing out loud* First I catch Sam serenading to my farmer Aleia and now! Sebastian confessing heartfelt messages to Yvonne? Boys, what the heck is up with you two? This is starting to get ridiculous!

*The scene ends, leaving myself, the player, contemplating the strange and unexpected exchange between Sebastian and Yvonne, and considering the impact it might have on the relationships in your Stardew Valley world*

Mod: "Maggs Immersive Sebastian Dialogue and Custom Events Spicy or Sweet" by @maggplays

𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙼𝚒𝚛𝚛𝚘𝚛’𝚜 𝚃𝚛𝚞𝚝𝚑

[Scene: A quiet evening in a candle-lit study. Caldarus is seated at his desk, engrossed in an old tome while Isaria bursts into the room with an excited expression.]

Isaria: *grinning mischievously* Caldarus! I just met the most beautiful person in all of Mistria!

Caldarus: *barely glancing up, voice calm and measured* Have you now? And where pray tell, did you encounter such an individual?

Isaria: *dramatically pulls out a small ornate mirror and holds it up* Right here! Aren’t they just breathtaking?

Caldarus: *raises an eyebrow, setting his book down* You’re holding it the wrong way.

Isaria: *blinking, tilting her head* Huh?

Caldarus: *with an exasperated sigh, taking the mirror and turning it toward the farmer* Look again.

Isaria: *stiffens as she sees her own reflection, expression faltering for just a second* Oh...

Caldarus: *leaning slightly closer, his voice lowering to a rare, softer tone* Yes, you truly are beautiful.

Isaria: *scoffs lightly, setting the mirror down* Please, you’re ridiculous. That’s not what I meant.

Caldarus: *watching her closely* No? Then why the sudden interest in the floor?

Isaria: *crossing her arms, turning away just enough to hide the warmth creeping up her neck* I was just testing your perception. Clearly, you overthink things.

Caldarus: *chuckles, shaking his head as he returns to his book* If you say so.

Isaria: *grumbling under her breath, fidgeting with the edge of her sleeve* You’re still ridiculous.

Caldarus: *without looking up* And yet, you keep coming back.

Here’s a skit idea for my upcoming new chapters in Caldarus's Accidental Guide to Wooing a Farmer, more romantic shenanigans between our ethereal handsome dragon, Caldarus and my mysterious farmer, Isaria! Expect plenty of witty banter, unexpected moments and of course, Isaria trying (and failing) to keep her cool around Caldarus’s unintentional flirting and effortless charm.

This rat is still calling me an "idiot" in my own native language. After every favor you requested you're still calling me that! ಠ益ಠ

"Bobo" means idiot in Filipino

And now you request something for your wife. Yipeee! ( ╹▽╹ )

You're lucky you're cute. (눈‸눈)

Now I wonder what he gave me. ┐(￣ヘ￣)┌

Oooooh a Jungle Tank! Imma add frogs here for my love Sebby. I guess this gift is worth it after all. Thanks, Mr. Raccoon but I'm still pissed for the insult. ಠ◡ಠ

HOLY SHI-!

Summary: In the early morning, Sebastian wakes Aleia up to show her something special. Despite her sleepiness, she trusts him and follows him, leading to a quiet, tender moment.

The farmhouse was peaceful, an oasis of quiet in the stillness of the early morning. The moon hung low in the sky, its silver light illuminating the landscape outside. Stars scattered across the heavens like diamonds against deep indigo, but inside, the world was tranquil—except for Sebastian.

With a quiet groan, he silenced the alarm, the soft beep cutting through the silence. He rubbed his face, pushing his messy dark purple hair back with a tired hand, glancing over at Aleia. She lay peacefully beside him, her reddish-pink hair cascading over the pillow, lips slightly parted, breathing steadily in her sleep.

A playful smirk tugged at Sebastian’s lips as he stared at her. Waking her up was going to be a challenge. But the idea of sharing this moment with her made his heart race in ways he hadn’t expected.

He slipped out of bed with care, dressing quickly in his jeans and favorite hoodie, the warmth of their bed still lingering on his skin. His leather jacket slid over his shoulders effortlessly, and he approached her side, crouching down to gently shake her shoulder.

“Aleia...” he whispered, his voice soft but insistent.

She groaned, pulling the pillow closer to her face. “No. Five more minutes...”

He chuckled, brushing a lock of her roseate hair from her face. “It’s not five minutes, sweetheart. You need to get up.”

Aleia cracked one eye open, her gaze instantly narrowing at him. “Sebastian... It’s the middle of the night!”

He grinned, crossing his arms. “It’s three in the morning, actually. Time to rise.”

“That’s... Even worse!” she muttered, curling deeper into her pillow. “Why would you wake me up at demon hours?”

Sebastian laughed, leaning down to press a soft kiss to her forehead. “Because I’ve got a surprise for you. Trust me. Get dressed, and meet me outside.”

Before she could protest any further, he stood and walked toward the door, leaving her with little room for argument. Aleia groaned, but despite her protests, she eventually gave in. She slipped on her favorite cozy sweater and jeans, boots clicking on the wooden floor as she stepped outside into the cool night air.

Sebastian waited by his motorcycle, his posture casual, but his eyes alight with a mischievous glint.

“Seriously? A motorcycle?” Aleia raised an eyebrow. “You better have a good reason for dragging me out here at this ungodly hour.”

He tossed her a helmet with a grin. “I’ve got a good reason. Now hop on.”

She sighed dramatically but climbed onto the bike anyway, wrapping her arms around his waist. “If I fall asleep and fall off, that’s on you.” she muttered into his back.

Sebastian chuckled as the engine hummed to life beneath them. “I’d catch you, don’t worry.”

The ride was quiet, the world around them enveloped in darkness. Aleia rested her cheek against his back, letting the wind ruffle her hair. Her exhaustion from being pulled out of bed faded slowly, replaced by the trust she had in him, the trust that had only grown stronger over time.

After what felt like an eternity, he pulled to a stop, and Aleia blinked, looking up at the at the surroundings.

“The Summit?” she asked, her voice thick with grogginess.

Sebastian helped her off the bike, pulling a pair of blankets from the side storage. “Yep. I promise, it’ll be worth it. Come on.”

With his hand firmly in hers, they hiked up the final stretch of the trail, the mountain air growing thinner and colder with each step. But nothing mattered except the space between them—close enough to feel the heat of his hand, to hear the quiet rhythm of their breaths. It was just them, and the world was waiting.

When they reached the peak, Aleia gasped, awestruck by the view that stretched before her. The valley lay below, bathed in the faint light of the approaching dawn, rivers reflecting the stars. The sky itself seemed to be awakening, shifting from dark to lighter shades of purple and orange as the first touch of the sun’s rays began to bleed across the horizon.

Sebastian spread a blanket across the cool ground, patting the space beside him. Aleia sat down beside him, rubbing her arms against the cold. Without hesitation, Sebastian draped his jacket over her shoulders, pulling her into his side.

She exhaled, resting her head on his shoulder. “Okay, I admit it. This is pretty amazing.”

“I told you.” he murmured, his lips curling into a satisfied smile.

Aleia looked up at him, a playful glint in her eyes. “So... You just decided, ‘Hey, let’s wake up my wife in the middle of the night, make her trek up a mountain, and then show her the sunrise’?”

Sebastian gave her a teasing grin. “Pretty much.”

“You’re the worst.” she groaned, nudging him lightly with her shoulder.

“And yet, you married me.” he replied, his voice smooth, full of quiet pride.

She rolled her eyes but couldn’t suppress the smile that tugged at her lips. Her hand found his, their fingers lacing together as they both stared at the sky in silence. The world around them was so still, so peaceful, and for the first time in a long while, Aleia felt completely at ease.

Then, slowly, the sun began to rise. The sky shifted from dusky purples to shades of pink, gold, and fiery orange, bathing the landscape in warmth. Aleia’s breath caught, the beauty of it overwhelming. She couldn’t look away.

“It’s beautiful...” she whispered, her voice soft, as if afraid to disturb the moment.

Sebastian, however, wasn’t looking at the sunrise. His eyes were on her.

“Yeah.” he murmured, his gaze never leaving her face. “It really is.”

Aleia turned to him, her heart skipping at the tenderness in his expression. His deep midnight purple eyes were filled with something she couldn’t quite name, but she could feel it, love, perhaps, or something deeper.

“I meant the sunrise, dork,” she teased, her voice affectionate.

Sebastian smirked, that same playful spark returning to his eyes. “The sunrise is nice,” he said softly, “but you, Aleia… You’re breathtaking.”

She laughed, her cheeks flushing. “Oh my God, that was so cheesy.”

He chuckled, leaning in close, his lips brushing against her ear as he whispered, “You love it.”

“…I do.” she admitted with a smile, warmth flooding her chest.

Sebastian cupped her cheek with one hand, his thumb brushing gently over her skin. “I love you, Aleia.”

Her heart soared. She leaned into his touch, her own hand coming to rest on his. “I love you too, Sebby.”

And as the sun continued to rise above them, painting the world in its golden glow, Sebastian leaned in, pressing his lips to hers in a slow, lingering kiss. The world felt like it paused for just a moment—nothing else mattered except for the two of them, together, here, in this perfect slice of time.

When they finally pulled apart, Aleia grinned, resting her forehead against his. “Okay, fine. Waking up early was worth it.”

Sebastian chuckled, holding her closer, the warmth of his embrace making the morning chill feel miles away. “Told you.”

They sat there in comfortable silence, watching as the sun bathed Stardew Valley in golden light, knowing that whatever challenges the future may hold, they would always have each other and moments like this one.

Mod: "Maggs Immersive Sebastian Dialogue and Custom Events Spicy or Sweet" by @maggplays

Lance: Everyone this is my brother-in-law, Jio. Don't mind his glare, that's just how he says hello.

His colleagues: His an elf?

Lance: Yes, I know that. Next question?

~~~~~

Daia: So your brother-in-law is an adventurer mage from the First Slash?

Jio: Hmm

Daia: Does the Seer know about this?

Jio: At this rate, the Lady probably knows about it and is displease.

Hi! I was searching through some about SVE fanfics and didn't find much, I was starting to lose hope but then I found yours. Thank you for sharing your amazing ideas and stories. They made me really happy. Please keep writing more! ❤️☺️

I also have a fun idea for a headcanon/fic with these two guys Lance and Jio. In my world, I have two farmers and both are sisters, Lance married the first sister and Jio also married the second. Which makes Lance and Jio are brother-in-laws. Makes me wonder how those two get along while living together on the same roof with their wives. With their personalities are complete opposites with each other.

Hewwo :3 Thank you very much for your kind words, dear anon! 💕 It gives me great pleasure to write about this game and my favorite mods. I'm glad you're enjoying it too, and hope you enjoy the little headcanon about the interaction between these two (I love the opportunity to write about the Lance and Jio dynamic, so many possibilities for a funny scenario!).

_________________________________________

The encounter was... awkward and a little tense, to say the least. Neither Lance nor Jio had caused each other any problems, not at all. But the lives of both had changed dramatically, for sure.

Firstly, Lance was struck by the fact that elves, a race that is thought to be extinct, is actually far from extinct. At least one living representative stands right in front of him. Jio's disguise won't fool Lance's violet eyes: he can see through the enchantment. Naturally, the curious adventurer will have a bunch of questions, which, naturally, the antisocial elf does not want to answer. This situation can be described as, "This is Jio, he likes his personal space. And this is Lance, he likes Jio's personal space." Lance isn't that intrusive, but let's be honest - a living elf who is now a brother-in-law.... Lance won't miss an opportunity to shower Jio with questions, and he's pretty stubborn. Although the elf is also stubborn as well. It's hard to say who would win.

Secondly, is the realisation and distinction of their unconventional professions. As far as we know, the Cult of the Lady with the Red Tail is not an official organisation, but is even a criminal clan engaged in assassination. At least, most people don't know the motive of the cult's followers and only listen to gossip about the next murder of someone unknown politic. Only Jio, his friends and his lover know that these people are no longer people, but soulless puppets of Gabriella, but still their cult deservedly has the status of "dangerous". Lance, on the other hand, is an adventurer and the right-hand man of The First Slash Clan. All of the Clans and the Ministry of Magic have an unspoken neutrality with the Cult, but each side always has a hand on the hilt of the sword if one side starts to get dangerous. Lance understands the situation perfectly well, so he approaches it rather cautiously. He truly understands the motive of Jio and the others, tho he's not too fond of the methods. But he also loves his spouse and will try to keep peace both within the family and among the Clan and Guilds. Lance is a good diplomat.

Despite their different personalities, the two have settled in quite peacefully. Lance occasionally teases the elf, and Jio can point his katana in Lance's direction (it doesn't come to fights, because they both don't want to upset and anger their sisters' wives), but they can become friends. Even if they don't socialise, just sit in complete silence.

If the sisters want to introduce their husbands to their friends and family..... Jio's and Lance's reactions might be different. Of course, Lance will present himself as an adventurer, while Jio will make up a story (for "assassin elf" doesn't sound like... much) for the friends and parents of the two farmers. If it's about friends who are also adventurers, or with Daia, Kiwi and other Cult members... This is where both men will try to delay the meeting a bit to figure out how not to create conflict. Belinda certainly won't be thrilled that one of her long-time friend's granddaughters having an adventurer as a spouse, and the Ministry of Magic will be tearing their hair out when Lance introduces his 'brother in law' to them. It's a delicate matter, so you have to be careful here. It'll take time, but everyone will get used to this chaotic family. Especially since the sister farmers have done more chaotic things before, and it all ended peacefully.