“As Someone Who Has Had My Own Struggles With Mental Illness And Addiction, 31 Days In May By Derek

If they don’t cut that small piece of Elizabeth’s bang off soon, I might actually go insane.

IT’S NOT EVEN AND IT’S DRIVING ME CRAZY

He really put his whole ass in it this week

Just Glue Yourself Together

so I was reading this post https://officialleehadan.tumblr.com/post/172812798273/claws-i-am-so-sorrrry-prrt-ts-growled-panic its a good “humans are weard” post and you should check it out. 

the basic premise was that humans are weird because they heal from injuries. while I find the idea that aliens would have no healing abilities far-fetched. I could see how a planet like earth where life is based on violent competition may evolve a superior healing ability. Most alien race’s may be closer to haemophiliacs by human standards. 

as i was thinking this my bad habit of putting way to much stuff on the shelf over my pc came to bite me in the ass. long story short an avalanche of stuff fell on me and a crafts knife ended up cutting my hand. (nothing to worry about)

but its what I did next that I think an alien race could be interested in. i super glued the cut close.

so just think of this

human jess is working on a spaceship engine when her alien co-worker yelps in pain then starts to panic. the alien has a small half inch cut on an appendage. though its panic it sobs out “i’ll never make it to the med bay in time. it’s to far”

human jess, however, reaches into her tool bag and pulls out a small tube of super glue and just glues the cut closed. 

the alien crew is stunned shour this Cyanoacrylate left a bad looking scar but once applied it lengthened the time needed to get to a healer from 1-30 minutes (depending on the severity of the haemorrhage) to hours or even days. 

at the next human spaceport, the ships captain orders enuff superglue so that each crewman has 5 tubes, and adds a tube of the life-saving liquid to the standard uniform. from then on any crewman without a tube was considered out of uniform.

fat femme lesbian culture is wearing basketball shorts under skirts

Just so beautiful.

The signs as shit I said at work this morning

Aries: who the fuck needs 30 pounds of chicken tenders at 10 am?

Taurus: (to rotisserie chicken) the boys are back in town.

Gemini: *drops entire pan of gravy *

Cancer: that looks horrible, this is horrible.

Leo: Every time there is a call off, someone from management owes me 3$

Virgo: imagine muenser cheese, but the rind is neon blue.

Sagittarius: *to my boss* please for the love of GOD, fire me.

Libra: Sorry I’m late guys, I didn’t want to come back.

Scorpio: Yeah, I gave that homie the wrong brand of Colby, but nothing really matters, anyway.

Capricorn: its time for Captain Spock to take command for me. I am unfit to run this ship

Aquarius: Raw chicken or Cancer– we are all dying anyway, who gives a shit.

Pisces: Every time a customer complains I grow a little bit stronger, if this keeps up I’ll be deli manager in 2 months

Nah cuz i fake it till i make it constantly. Tbh acting like you know everything without being arrogant about is such a level up for ya self esteem

anyone else get the constant fear that there are unspoken social rules you dont know about (especially in new situations, like when i first started taking the bus, i was afraid i was doing it wrong lol) so youre just always on edge and kind of… watching how other people act so you can copy the “correct” thing to do

Same

i like to get inspired and then not act on it and waste away in my bed

Challenge accepted

i also call if i am driving and want some company