Hate When People Are Just Like “cut Out Tea And Coffee” Like It’s Nothing Like It’s Not The Biggest

Trick or Treat! :D

(idk if i should ask here or reblogs, so consider this knocking at the front and side door lmao)

Happy Halloween!

The splashtext “Technoblade Never Dies!” has been added to Minecraft!

ALT

none pizza with left beef became 10 years old a few days ago...

Sorry no it hasn't

I don’t think I can physically be sad over Techno when I know he’s invading Wilbur’s dreams just to call him a loser

How I see it.

[Dylan’s not evil, but the things he makes usually are.]

Hand Pies

(Includes small, snackable pies!)

“The variety [of hand pies] presented below, made famous at Cuttle’s Meat Pies located in Waterdeep’s Trades Ward, is flavored with bacon and leeks and is extremely popular across the Heartlands, the Dales, and even the Savage Coast of Faerun, where hungry adventurers simply can’t get enough of them.” - Heroes’ Feast, p. 21

I think we can all agree that pie is one of the best foods ever (take that cake lovers). But, why should its awesomeness only extend to fruit, pudding, or whatever olden times had going on?

The Hand Pies in Heroes’ Feast are a great, filling meal to close to a long day. Packed with awesome carbs, proteins, and spices, they’re hard to resist! 

I was really interested to see if there was a way to turn the traditional, larger pies into snackable finger foods that could be brought to school or made for a party. After a little bit of testing, I found that they could! Since my main goal for this post was to create the snackable ones, I will be incorporating my process into the main body of my review instead of just keeping it to the notes after each step.

Although not the fastest meal to make, there are several ways to speed up the process and give yourself less work!

See below for my notes on the results and for some helpful tips and tricks when making this yourself! Get Heroes’ Feast here: https://dnd.wizards.com/heroes-feast

Prep Time: 20 mins               Cook Time: 2h 40 mins                  Overall: 3 h

* See results section for how to cut down vegetable prep time

** Prep time will increase if you’re making your own pie crust

For the ingredients:

6 slices thick-cut bacon*

1 large (about 8 ounces) Yukon gold potato, peeled and cut into ½-inch pieces

2 leeks, white and light green parts, halved lengthwise and thinly sliced

1 tbsp. (3 g) finely chopped fresh thyme

Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper

4 cloves garlic, finely chopped

1 pound (500 g) ground beef**

2 tbsp. (16 g) all-purpose flour

⅔ cup (160 ml) low-sodium chicken broth

¼ cup (60 ml) chopped fresh parsley

Pastry for 2 double-crust pies (about 1 ½ pounds), thawed if frozen

1 egg

Ketchup, grainy mustard, or steak sauce to serve (optional)

* I couldn’t find any thick-cut bacon at my grocery store, so I used double the amount of regular cut bacon instead.

** I used medium ground beef.

Preparing the Filling:

I cooked the regular cut bacon in batches in order to avoid crowding the pan. Because I was using thinner bacon, I had to cook the bacon all the way until crispy instead of just slightly browned.

I didn’t have enough rendered fat after cooking for the 2 ½ tbps. required in the next steps. To make up for it, I supplemented the missing amount with a neutral-tasting oil (like vegetable, canola, safflower, and grapeseed).

For the vegetable mixture, I first cooked the potatoes in 1 ½ tbps. of the reserved fat over medium-high heat. This took about 7 minutes, stirring frequently (above-left image).

Next, I added 1 tbsp. reserved fat, leeks, thyme, and ½ tsp. salt to the potatoes and cooked them for about 4 minutes. Then, I added the garlic and stirred it in until fragrant - about 1 minute.

Finally, I transferred it to a bowl, wiped out the pan, and returned it to medium-high heat.

For the beef mixture, I cooked the ground beef until it started to lose its pink colour (4-5 mins). You want to make sure you’re breaking up any large clumps as it cooks.

Next, I turned down the heat to medium and added the flour, stirring constantly for 1-2 minutes. After, I added the broth and ¾ tsp. salt, scraping the skillet to dissolve anything that got stuck to the bottom. The above-right image is what the beef mixture looked like after cooking it for 2 minutes. It shouldn’t be super liquidy.

Above is what the hand pie mixture looked like when I combined the vegetable and meat mixtures. After combining, I allowed the mixture to cool for about 20 minutes (barely warm).

When the mixture cooled, I incorporated the crumbled bacon and parsley. Finally, I covered it with cling wrap and put it in the fridge.

NOTE: To adjust the seasoning at this point, I would recommend only using pepper. I found the mixture was plenty salty.

Constructing the Pies:

First, I preheated the oven to 375℉ and lined two baking sheets with parchment paper. You could also use nonstick silicone liners.

Since I was using a homemade pie crust, I divided my dough into quarters then rolled them out on a lightly floured work surface until I could see the surface through the dough. I lightly floured the top of the dough and my rolling pin to keep the dough from sticking to it. Follow the same method if using store-bought dough.

To prevent the dough from breaking while chilled: start by rolling it out a little in one direction, rotate 90°, roll it out a little, and repeat. This way, you’re not just stretching the dough in one direction.

As you work with the dough, try not to let it get too warm! The chilled butter is what gives the pie crust a flaky texture. If you feel the dough start to warm up too much as you work with it, cover it with a clean, damp kitchen or damp paper towel and place it in the fridge for a few minutes before continuing.

If you notice any tears appear while you roll out the dough, overlap a bit of the dough in that area and roll over it using the rolling pin. If the tear is too large to do this, patch it up with some dough scraps and roll over it to seal it.

To create envelopes for the filling, I used a stencil to create 10 by 8-inch ovals for the large ones and used a ~3 ¾-inch diameter circular cookie cutter.

From my dough, I was able to get two large pies and 15 smaller ones (not using all the dough scraps will net you about 12).

NOTE: A bench scraper and/or a thin metal spatula is your friend while working with the dough. To make the pies easier to fold and transfer, make sure to go around and lift up all of the dough from the work surface.

For the large pies, I placed one cup of filling on the bottom third of the dough and left ~1 ½ inches for the border (above-left).

For the small pies, there are a few changes I would make with how I constructed them (above-right). Although using only a ½ tbsp. of filling made them easier to handle, you should absolutely use between ¾-1 tbs. instead. You may not get as clean of a seam, but it will help the pies stay juicy and have a better dough-to-filling ratio.

Also, I would consider using a slightly larger cookie cutter (4-inch diameter) and shaping the dough to be more like an oval. I think this would help with the difficulties when using more filling.

Finally, be mindful of how much filling you’re making/using. The amount of filling called for in the recipe is great when making four large pies but significantly less is needed when constructing the smaller ones. Out of the 15 made, adjusting for the recommended increase in filling would mean just barely 1 ½ cups is needed!

To ensure minimal food waste when only making the mini-pies, either make 2.5 times the amount of dough or make ¾ the amount of filling.

Put the filling for the little ones on the bottom half of the circle/oval leaving room for sealing and crimping.

To seal the pies, I started by dipping my finger in water and going around the seam to moisten it. Next, using my bench scraper, I folded the dough over the meat filling. Finally, I used a fork to crimp the edges closed.

If you notice any breaks in the dough while you’re folding/crimping, don’t worry! Use any spare scraps of dough to cover the tears. If a tear appears when crimping the edges, cover it with scrap dough and crimp it down.

Each regular-sized hand pie took about 8 mins to assemble from rolling it out to sealing it. So, it will take you around half an hour to do all four (at least the first time).

The snack-sized pies took about 8 minutes for 4 of them. Therefore, it will take you just under half an hour to make 12 of them. When I put together all of my dough scraps for the little ones, I was able to make 3 extra snack pies - 15 in total.

Always use your bench scraper or flat metal spatula when working with or picking up the pies.

TIP: Because each pie takes time to construct and because we want the pie crust to stay cool, place each fully constructed pie in the fridge after sealing it. For the smaller ones, place each batch of 4 in the fridge as you finish them.

TIP: If you’re running out of space in your fridge for the baking sheets, use a cooling rack to place one tray on top of the other.

TIP: Wait until the pies have chilled in the fridge to score the X. It’s much easier to cut into the firm dough than the softer one.

Above is what the pies looked like before and after baking in the oven for about 40-45 mins. Be generous with the egg wash to give each pie a nice golden brown colour.

Above is what the pies looked like as they cooled - about 5 to 10 mins. Be mindful when transferring the large ones to the wire rack. They are very easy to break.

Overall, I would give this recipe a 4.5/5. Both the regular and the snack sized hand pies were delicious. Although, I would recommend eating the larger pies with a fork. They were a bit too flimsy to be eaten by hand. However, the filling to pie crust ratio was perfect.

As mentioned in the filling step, the only changes I would make to make the snack pies better would be to use a slightly larger cookie cutter and use more filling. Other than that, they were amazing. Everyone in my house agreed that they would make for great appetizers or finger foods for a party because “you can eat them and just feel like you’re snacking”. You can even turn the assembly into a fun activity (or pass off the work to guests who like to arrive early)!

I would highly recommend not making this a one-day event. As the longest hands-on recipe so far, I would split up the work as follows: 

Make the filling the day before

Make the pie crust and construct the pies the day of

Not only will this division of work make the recipe less daunting but it will allow the filling to chill completely - making it much easier to handle.

TIP: Although the prep time seems a little daunting, you can save time by completing certain parts of it while cooking. For example:

Cut up the potatoes and leeks while the bacon cooks

Chop up the thyme while the potato chunks cook

haven’t seen this posted here yet

the ‘dragons’ part of dnd got me interested originally, but it was the fan creations like taz and critical role that really drew me in and kept me around

what a god awful decision

Trick or Treat :D

(It's ok, I won't tell anyone that you took two pieces of candy)

Underdark Lotus with Fire Lichen Spread

Sometimes called “fungus two ways,” this zesty duergar essential is sure to rouse the taste buds of even the most spiced-crazed tiefling. - Heroes’ Feast, p. 93

I’ve always found hummus to be a very interesting snack food. With countless possible flavour combinations, you would be hard-pressed to grow tired of this nutritious spread!

Eccentric in both name and origin, the Underdark Lotus with Fire Lichen Spread is sure to satisfy your hunger and delight your taste buds. Between the sweet taste of the carrots and the savoury taste of the cumin, it really is the perfect snack food for spring, summer, and fall!

Fun fact: this hummus has become so popular in our house during hang-out sessions that it’s one of the few recipes I’ve got memorized!

See below for my notes on the results and for some helpful tips and tricks when making this yourself! Get Heroes’ Feast here: https://dnd.wizards.com/heroes-feast

Note: The terrible lighting in this post is brought to you by me moving back into my student house from my parents’ home.

Prep Time: ~15 mins Cook Time: ~35 mins (25 roasting + 10 misc.) Overall: ~45 mins

For the ingredients:

1 (15-ounce) can chickpeas, drained and rinsed

1 lb. carrots (about 4 large), peeled and chopped

¾ tsp. cumin seeds or sweet paprika

1 tsp. cayenne

3 tbsp. olive oil, plus more for drizzling

⅔ cup cold water, plus more as needed

¼ cup fresh lemon juice

¼ cup tahini*

Kosher salt

Freshly ground black pepper

Radishes, sliced cucumbers, romaine lettuce leaves for dipping*

* I substituted the tahini for the same amount of 2% greek yoghurt.

** Use any of your favourite veggies/dippables! I used radishes, sliced cucumbers, any kind of sweet pepper, and flatbread (naan).

I use the following conversions in my cooking:

1 lb. carrots = 500 g

1 tsp. cumin seeds = 2 g

1 tsp. sweet paprika = 2 g

1 tsp. cayenne pepper = 1.8 g

3 tbsp. olive oil = 44 ml

⅔ cup water = 160 ml

¼ cup fresh lemon juice = 1 large lemon, juiced

¼ tahini/greek yoghurt = 60 ml

NOTE: I would caution against using bottled lemon juice instead of fresh lemon juice in this recipe. I found using bottled lemon juice gave the hummus an unpleasant bitterness compared to a freshly juiced lemon.

NOTE: I would caution the amount of cayenne pepper called for in this recipe. Even for the spice junkies in my house, 1 tsp. was A LOT of cayenne pepper. I would recommend starting with a little bit less than ¼ tsp. (~0.4 g) and increase it from there each time you make them.

Above is what the veggies looked like before and after roasting. Make sure to toss the carrots, chickpeas, 2 tbsp. olive oil, and spices together first. Then, sprinkle the salt and a generous amount of pepper overtop. I chopped the carrots into slices about a ½ inch (~1 cm) thick.

Although they aren’t a staple in many kitchens, I would highly recommend using cumin seeds for the hummus instead of the paprika - even if you need to buy them. They add an incredible taste to the hummus that makes them worth the extra price.

NOTE: Although Heroes’ Feast states to process the veggies right after coming out of the oven, I’ve had no problem with the flavour when storing them in the fridge and processing them cold.

Above is what the roasted veggies, lemon juice, water, greek yoghurt, and olive oil looked like in the food processor.

TIP: I highly recommend investing in a food processor with built-in side scrapers like the one above. Not having to stop the food processor to scrape down the sides of the bowl is a great time-saver!

TIP: Roll the lemon like a rolling pin before cutting it to maximize the amount of juice it contains.

Above is what the hummus looked like after being processed. Although Heroes’ Feast says to process it until smooth, I found the coarser consistency created a more rustic feel that was a better fit for a D&D setting.

To get it to this texture, I processed it on the lowest setting, continuously scraping down the sides, for 20 seconds. I then added ~1 tsp. more water and repeated the same process for another 20 secs.

Overall, I would give this recipe a 5/5. Everyone in my house thoroughly enjoyed it and it has become a staple during Monday movie nights!

For best freshness results, store any extra hummus in a sealed tupperware container in the fridge. It will keep for about a week or until the greek yoghurt is set to expire.