Just Remembered This Old Clickhole Video I Used To Be Obsessed With

why does this exist

what the fuck

Different Stories Resonate with Different People

I mean in some of fan fictions due to both their parents being rich lawyers they’re already friends or in contact which i think is a fair interpretation so i could totally see it making them closer friends or bridging the gap to make them become friends or something along those lines

I could see it going two ways depending on how earlier it is in Victorias career if it’s earlier she might really care and get really close in which case Emma could be a good support and someone who actually will argue back and might help keep Victoria from doing the same violence she did in the original timeline

or two if it happens it’s not very special for Vic and she moves on and Emma stays terrified before maybe binding and becoming even closer with Taylor

also in either case Sophia might be punished a bit more without the really good lawyer of Emma’s dad and probably would be a bit more of a loner

In another universe, Emma is saved by Glory Girl instead of Shadow Stalker…

Discuss.

are either of these stories good? cause they sound really interesting

On the one hand, it's true that the way Dungeons & Dragons defines terms like "sorcerer" and "warlock" and "wizard" is really only relevant to Dungeons & Dragons and its associated media – indeed, how these terms are used isn't even consistent between editions of D&D! – and trying to apply them in other contexts is rarely productive.

On the other hand, it's not true that these sorts of fine-grained taxonomies of types of magic are strictly a D&D-ism and never occur elsewhere. That folks make this argument is typically a symptom of being unfamiliar with Dungeons & Dragons' source material. D&D's main inspirations are American literary sword and sorcery fantasy spanning roughly the 1930s through the early 1980s, and fine-grained taxonomies of magic users absolutely do appear in these sources; they just aren't anything like as consistent as the folks who try to cram everything into the sorcerer/warlock/wizard model would prefer.

For example, in Lydon Hardy's "Five Magics" series, the five types of magical practitioners are:

Alchemists: Drawing forth the hidden virtues of common materials to craft magic potions; limited by the fact that the outcomes of their formulas are partially random.

Magicians: Crafting enchanted items through complex manufacturing procedures; limited by the fact that each step in the procedure must be performed perfectly with no margin for error.

Sorcerers: Speaking verbal formulas to basically hack other people's minds, permitting illusion-craft and mind control; limited by the fact that the exercise of their art eventually kills them.

Thaumaturges: Shaping matter by manipulating miniature models; limited by the need to draw on outside sources like fires or flywheels to make up the resulting kinetic energy deficit.

Wizards: Summoning and binding demons from other dimensions; limited by the fact that the binding ritual exposes them to mental domination by the summoned demon if their will is weak.

"Warlock", meanwhile, isn't a type of practitioner, but does appear as pejorative term for a wizard who's lost a contest of wills with one of their own summoned demons.

Conversely, Lawrence Watt-Evans' "Legends of Ethshar" series includes such types of magic-users as:

Sorcerers: Channelling power through metal talismans to produce fixed effects; in the time of the novels, talisman-craft is largely a lost art, and most sorcerers use found or inherited talismans.

Theurges: Summoning gods; the setting's gods have no interest in human worship, but are bound not to interfere in the mortal world unless summoned, and are thus amenable to cutting deals.

Warlocks: Wielding X-Men style psychokinesis by virtue of their attunement to the telepathic whispers emanating from the wreckage of a crashed alien starship. (They're the edgy ones!)

Witches: Producing improvisational effects mostly related to healing, telepathy, precognition, and minor telekinesis by drawing on their own internal energy.

Wizards: Drawing down the infinite power of Chaos and shaping it with complex rituals. Basically D&D wizards, albeit with a much greater propensity for exploding.

You'll note that both taxonomies include something called a "sorcerer", something called a "warlock", and something called a "wizard", but what those terms mean in their respective contexts agrees neither with the Dungeons & Dragons definitions, nor with each other.

(Admittedly, these examples are from the 1980s, and are thus not free of D&D's influence; I picked them because they both happened to use all three of the terms in question in ways that are at odds with how D&D uses them. You can find similar taxonomies of magic use in earlier works, but I would have had to use many more examples to offer multiple competing definitions of each of "sorcerer", "warlock" and "wizard", and this post is already long enough!)

So basically what I'm saying is giving people a hard time about using these terms "wrong" – particularly if your objection is that they're not using them in a way that's congruent with however D&D's flavour of the week uses them – makes you a dick, but simply having this sort of taxonomy has a rich history within the genre. Wizard phylogeny is a time-honoured tradition!

i think it could be interesting to have Taylor interact with a Mark who’s early in their career and only just starting to learn Taylorisms to see her as what he might end up as.

Like Cecil has Taylor working for him cause Contessa saw the only way for her to stay put was if she had a job and so she gets put on babysitting duty when Mark first starts to work for Cecil and Mark see this woman with some sort of mysterious past who’s sorta a vague mentor figure who says things he’s been thinking in the back of his mind which scares him and makes him wonder about the role he’s going down

Hey so, thought exercise, how do you think Taylor would fare if she got dropped into the invincible universe? For the sake of mechanics let's say she literally gets dropped in via doorman portal or something.

So one thing about Invincible is that I think it's setting is protagonist-centric in a way that Worm's isn't. To the extent that Invincible's setting has worldbuilding- worldbuilding that isn't, like, ported in from the books's early association with the confederated Image Comics shared universe- it's worldbuilding that exists to convey the impression of a big-two-flavor universe. Here's our spin on the undersea kingdom, here's the riff on the Martians, here are our riffs on SHIELD, on Gotham, on Themyscira, on 70s blaxploitation-adjacent heroes, and so on. This is the entire ethos underpinning the Guardians of the Globe in particular- piggybacking on pre-existing audience affection for the Justice League to convey that it's a Big Fucking Deal when the guardians get blendered in issue 7.

You have flashbacks demonstrating that there was capital-S Superhero Stuff going on in the seventies and eighties, or as far back as the thirties with Immortal, you create the impression of a status quo, a big pond in which Mark is a little fish. And to Kirkman's credit, some effort clearly went into making sure that the non-Mark capes are sufficiently fleshed out that you can believe that they've got other stuff going on in their lives. But at the end of the day, it's the Invincible universe. You don't see a lot of people talking about the Guarding the Globe spinoff. Many of the most interesting characters- Cecil being a big example here- are interesting because of the ways in which they bounce off Mark specifically, the ways in which he chooses to deal with them. The universe is less of a character in the story the way that Earth Bet is- it's just the place where Mark's story, specifically, is happening. If there's a codified setting bible, I'll eat my hat.

Now of course the world of Worm is, in many ways, equally Taylor-centric, because that's what it means to be the protagonist. But owing in part to the themes of the story, and in part to the sheer number of false-start protagonists Wildbow played around with before settling on Taylor, it's very good at conveying the idea that there are many stories happening in this setting and Taylor's is just the one this particular work happened to focus on. There's an actual point to doing OC worldbuilding for what the superhero scene looks like in Wormverse Denver or Seattle or whatever- whereas you can come up with superhero teams for Invincible-verse Denver, but what actually ties them to that universe? What are you getting out of putting them in Invincible specifically, that you wouldn't get from whipping up a barebones MASKS setting to support your OCs? Anyway. This is a really long way of getting to my real point, which is that I think the question is less "how does Taylor bounce off the Invincible setting" and more "How does Taylor bounce off Invincible the character, around whom the setting orbits even when it pretends not to."

This I'm unsure of, because where do you stick her in his life where you get an interesting dynamic? One thing that's interesting here is that Mark's overall character arc already involves learning a lot of taylorisms- the strategic ruthlessness, the shift from a good-evil dichotomy to a helping-not-helping dichotomy-so what about his arc is going to change if they spend time together? Why would they spend time together? Given the different power levels on display, what would differentiate her, in his experience, from the dozens of filler capes that exist for him at the level of "vague acquaintance?" This is assuming she's active as a cape at all, which she might not be if this is Post-GM. Mutual association through Cecil and the Global Defense Agency might be a hook- maybe they're paying for her new arm or something- but would she latch her cart to Cecil's wagon in the first place, barring some obvious crisis situation? Hard to say. If she's depowered, and present in his life somehow in a civilian context, well, that's a fast-track to not being part of the story anymore either, given how Mark's civilian connections slowly fading away was kind of a quiet plot point.

There's some configuration of these pieces that could be interesting, but I'm not quite sure what they are. Soliciting input here.

The Day the Dinosaurs Died

A young paleontologist may have discovered a record of the most significant event in the history of life on Earth.

hey, @bunjywunjy - this might be your jam (and any other dinosaur enthusiasts, it’s a heck of a read)

Are we sure he doesn’t have mommy issues

Fell

i’ve been in love with this man from the second he crashed blake’s party and literally everything he does reinforces that love. he’s so funny and such a piece of shit and every time he shows up my depression goes away. i fucking adore his dynamic with blake and i hope to god he gets to kick conquest in the dick

(reminder: spoilers get you fed to the hyena)

Novella queen you speak for like half of tumblr

like as someone who has been on tumblr since 2010 destiel becoming canon was always going to be hilarious but the fact it happen while we’re waiting for election results, outshined putin resigning, and happened within a week of a 90 minute video coming out and reminding everyone what a failure the johnlock conspiracy is…like tonight truly is an amazing night for anyone out there with severe internet brain rot

If Percy Jackson rated the Greek Gods:

Zeus: 4/10 has tried to kill me several times but did make Thalia and my bro Jason

Hera: -10/10 erased my memories and hates my girlfriend

Poseidon: 100/10 that’s my pabby

Demeter: 7/10 seems pretty chill, wanted me to eat cereal so she cares about my nutritional well-being I guess

Ares: 0/10 tried to fight me when I was 12 very aggressive

Athena: 6/10 can be helpful but also very scary when you date her daughter

Apollo: 5/10 very self-absorbed but has calmed down since he got acne

Artemis: 7/10 very cool but tried to take away Annabeth

Hephaestus: 8/10 helped us out but also sent us into an active volcano so mixed feelings

Aphrodite: 6/10 said she was going to make sure my love life was interesting and oh boy did she deliver. I do like Piper though so she gets points for that

Hermes: 9/10 awesome, hasn’t even tried to kill me once, sent me to Paris on a date, has dope snakes

Dionysus: 2/10 can get a better score when he learns my name